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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Teabaggers In Action - Volume Three

Today's teabagger is South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley:

 
Seen here practicing her "adorable child" look.

Firswt of all, she spells her name "Nikki." Generally, that spelling is reserved for sex industry workers and the  bass player of Motley Crue.



But that's not the real issue. I'm pretty sure spelling doesn't count for much in South Carolina conservative circles.

But here's a fun story about Gov. Haley:

Gov. Nikki Haley replaces Darla Moore

I know, I know, who's Darla Moore?

Well, up until recently she was a member of the board of trustees for the University of South Carolina.
Go, Cocks!



Not only was she a member of the board, she was also a major patron of the school. In fact, their business school is named the Darla Moore School of Business. So, it's probably safe to say she was comitted to the University and felt pretty passionately about it.

But don't take my word for it:

Miles Loadholt, chairman of the board, said Moore's contributions to the university have been priceless.

"The importance of Darla Moore's philanthropy cannot be overestimated," he said in a statement. "Her constant push for excellence not only at a state level, but in a global context, will be a standing legacy and among her many contributions to the university."

 
 So why replace her? Well, there are two reasons. The first is that Ms. Moore hurt the governor's wittle feelings. (sideways frowny-face)
 
 
As Haley explains events, Moore lost her seat basically because she didn’t express sufficient interest in keeping it. She didn’t return Haley’s calls, as the governor tells it, and when Haley tried to meet with Moore, there was a three-week wait.



The governor told me she couldn’t wait. She has only one voting member on the board and, says Haley, “I have to pick one who will report to me and return my calls.” (source)

 

How very mature of you, Madame Governor!

The second reason? To reward a campaign donor.

Haley tapped Lexington lawyer Tommy Cofield to replace Moore,
Cofield and his sister Amy Cofield donated a combined $9,000 to Haley's gubernatorial campaign, according to the State Ethics Commission. (source)




So, sure it's fine to be an extremely generous donor and an asset to the University for over a decade, but how does that enrich me personally?
 
So much for the teabaggers getting in there and cleaning out corruption, eh?
 
By the way, here is Ms. Moore's response to her removal:
 
Her response to Haley’s insult was to offer the university another $5 million for an aerospace research center to be named for fellow Lake City star Ronald McNair, an African American astronaut who died in the Challenger explosion in 1986.



Yeah, I could see where you'd feel like you needed to get rid of her!

Nice work, South Carolina Teabaggers!






Lazy Reposting

from Crooks & Liars:

.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------







March 31, 2011 10:00 AM

The video the Wisconsin GOP doesn't want you to see! - *gasp*



.This complete video, once on YouTube and then on the Talking Points Memo website, has been yanked from both, simply because of the heat a rookie republican congressman (and former reality tv star) got for daring to mention he's having trouble getting by on "only" $174,000, partly due to higher health care costs because of worse federal coverage than he was used to from Wisconsin as a District Attorney.



Evan McMorris-Santoro at TPM details the farce controversy.



GOPers Demand Sean Duffy Salary Tape Be Pulled From The Internet



First the Republican Party in Polk County, Wisconsin, pulled the tape of Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI) fretting about making ends meet on his $174,000 a year salary from its own website. Now they want it gone from the whole Internet.



For a couple hours, the local county GOP was successful. But we've put an excerpt of the video back up.



A day after TPM posted the video we obtained of Duffy talking about his salary at a Polk County town hall meeting earlier this year, the Polk County GOP contacted the video provider we used to host the video, Blip.tv, and demanded the video be taken down.



The tape caused a stir for Duffy, a first-term conservative best known for his past as a reality TV show star on MTV's The Real World. Democrats flagged the comments about his taxpayer-funded salary (which is nearly three times the median income in Wisconsin) and criticisms began to flow Duffy's way.



In the clip, Duffy is asked whether he'd support cutting his own salary. Duffy says he would, but only as part of a plan where all public employees' salaries would be cut. He then said that the $174,000 in salary (not including benefits) he receives is a squeeze for his family of seven to live on:



I can guarantee you, or most of you, I guarantee that I have more debt than all of you. With 6 kids, I still pay off my student loans. I still pay my mortgage. I drive a used minivan. If you think I'm living high on the hog, I've got one paycheck. So I struggle to meet my bills right now. Would it be easier for me if I get more paychecks? Maybe, but at this point I'm not living high on the hog.



No doubt Crooks and Liars will receive a similarly sternly worded cease-and-desist letter, and the clip will be pulled from here also. But for now, here is the clip the Wisconsin GOP are so scared of being seen. (Can this story get any more pathetic?)



Tags: Polk County, Rep. Sean Duffy, Republican Party, Wisconsin

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Teabaggers In Action - Volume II

Good job, American electorate! These are the guys you put in charge!

Florida Governor Rick Scott:

http://flcenterlitarts.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/rick-scott-1.jpg 

For one thing, look at the guy! Who votes for something that looks like this?
http://wonkroom.thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/rick-scott-side.jpg

I know, it shouldn't matter what he looks like, but come on! there's got to be some limit.

But anyway, Governor Rick Scott has introduced a plan to subject both welfare recipients and all state employees to mandatory drug testing because, you know,

FREEDOOOOOOOOM!!!!

http://electroniccigaretteinformation.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/mel-gibson-braveheart-freedom.jpg

So what would make this libertarian, small-government teabagger decide to drug test everyone? Hmm, I don't know. Unless it's because he owns a chain of clinics that do drug tests?

Gov. Rick Scott’s drug testing policy stirs suspicion

By Stacey Singer / The Palm Beach Post, Fla. (MCT)

One of the more popular services at Solantic, the urgent care chain co-founded by Florida Gov. Rick Scott, is drug testing, according to Solantic CEO Karen Bowling.
Given Solantic’s role in that marketplace, critics are again asking whether Scott’s policy initiatives -- this time, requiring drug testing of state employees and welfare recipients -- are designed to benefit Scott’s bottom line.

Hmmm. . .  nothing suspicious there!

In his defense, Scott has divested himself of his Solantic holdings. He gave them to his wife. Seriously.

The Palm Beach Post reported in an exclusive story two weeks ago that while Scott divested his interest in Solantic in January, the controlling shares went to a trust in his wife’s name.



http://www.fancast.com/blogs/files/2010/03/curb-your-enthusiasm-larry-david.jpg 

What? No Good?

And this isn't the first time Scott has proposed a Solantic-friendly state policy:

. . . This raised a groundswell of concern and questions about his health policy initiatives, especially his push to move Medicaid into private HMOs. Solantic does not take Medicaid but does business with private Medicaid HMOs.

It really shouldn't be surprising. When you elect someone to run the government whose core belief is that government is bad, it's not all that shocking that they would see no problem with using their position of power to swindle the government. After all, they've been very clear about their complete lack of respect for government, why would you not expect them to see a government position as a giant grifting opportunity?

So, good job, Florida teabaggers. You asked for it, now you got it. Enjoy.

How Many Ways Can You Be Wrong in an 18-second Clip?

Well, let's see:



1: "most studies show"
     If you're going to make a claim backed up by "studies" you really have to cite at least one. Otherwise, I gotta think you might just be making this up. I could claim that most studies show that I am awesome. Wouldn't you ask "what studies?" And then I would answer: "a survey of my five-year old niece, and 100% of the respondents agreed that I am awesome." Now who looks foolish?

2: It doesn't take "supernatural powers" to survive. Ordinary, not super-powered people survive things all the time. Do you think that Chilean coal miners have super powers? I survived a very treacherous fall down the side of a mountain. Do you think I have. . .well, that's a bad example. Obviously, I do have the kind of powers that you can't imagine. The kind of powers of which most men dare not dream.

Like math. I'm pretty good at math.

3: Believing that you do have supernatural powers is probably going to be detrimental to your survival. If you're trapped in a collapsed coal mine and you convince yourself that you can use your super-human strength to tunnel out instead of waiting for the rescuers, you're probably not going to make it.

4: Even if by "supernatural powers" she's referring to the great feats of strength sometimes accomplished by people who get a surge of adrenaline in perilous situations, you don't have to be religious to believe in that. Atheists know about adrenaline.
http://www.reiofitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/woman-lifting-car-300x168.jpg

5. That hairstyle. That is all kinds of wrong.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I Guess I Had A Pretty Good Year in 2010

Because I paid more taxes than General Fucking Electric.

And so did you, assuming you paid more than zero.

(from the NY Times)

G.E.’s Strategies Let It Avoid Taxes Altogether

The company reported worldwide profits of $14.2 billion, and said $5.1 billion of the total came from its operations in the United States.
Its American tax bill? None. In fact, G.E. claimed a tax benefit of $3.2 billion.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QqyrPAPvIxc/Spnv0gbl5FI/AAAAAAAABM0/bk5E82jhWSc/s400/AngryMob1.png 
Where's an angry mob when you need one?


Its extraordinary success is based on an aggressive strategy that mixes fierce lobbying for tax breaks and innovative accounting that enables it to concentrate its profits offshore.
http://denversewerscam.hypocrisy.com/files/2009/11/money-bags.bmp


And yet, according to Think Progress:


This year, 14 unions representing more than 15,000 workers will negotiate a new master contract with General Electric. Among the major concessions GE has signaled that it will ask of union workers is the elimination of a defined contribution benefit pension for new employees, a move the company has already implemented for its non-union salaried employees. Likewise, GE is signaling to the union that it will ask for the elimination of current health insurance plans in favor of lower quality health saving accounts, a move the company has already implemented for non-union salaried employees as well.
In addition, General Electric may ask some workers for a wage freeze. Since the recession began in 2007, GE threatened to close plants in Schenectady, NY and Louisville, KY unless workers took wage concessions and adopted two-tier wage structure.
http://blog.tax-fraud.net/files/2011/02/tax-fraud-time-cover-150x150.jpg
G.E.’s giant tax department, led by a bow-tied former Treasury official named John Samuels, is often referred to as the world’s best tax law firm. Indeed, the company’s slogan “Imagination at Work” fits this department well. The team includes former officials not just from the Treasury, but also from the I.R.S. and virtually all the tax-writing committees in Congress.
Oh, and it's probably going to get worse:
Such strategies, as well as changes in tax laws that encouraged some businesses and professionals to file as individuals, have pushed down the corporate share of the nation’s tax receipts — from 30 percent of all federal revenue in the mid-1950s to 6.6 percent in 2009.
Yet many companies say the current level is so high it hobbles them in competing with foreign rivals. Even as the government faces a mounting budget deficit, the talk in Washington is about lower rates. President Obama has said he is considering an overhaul of the corporate tax system, with an eye to lowering the top rate.


Monday, March 28, 2011

Newt Forgets the First Rule of Holes

The first rule of holes is: When you find yourself in one, stop digging.
Newt just keeps on digging himself in deeper on the whole marital infidelity thing.

from an interview with Chris Wallace on FOX "News."

WALLACE: So, I'm going to go there. You were asked recently about the fact that you cheated on your first and your second wives. And here's how you responded.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GINGRICH: There is no question that at times in my life partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard, and that things happened in my life that were not appropriate.

Now at this point, you oughta realize you've dug yourself a hole. Once you blame your extra-marital affairs on your passion for the US of A, you need to look around and say "shit, I'm in a hole." And by "in a hole," I mean I've made myself look like a complete idiot as well as a serial philanderer.

http://i.bnet.com/blogs/digging-a-hole.jpg

Dang, I better quit digging!


But no, not Newt. When you're in over your head, time to double down.

WALLACE: Speaker, you've had more than a decade to come up with an answer. And in all honesty, there were a lot of people who thought that answer was kind of lame. I know it's heart-felt. [kiss ass!] But let me explain why. You love your country and you're working hard. And so you strayed. That wouldn't work with my wife.

Nor would it work with anyone's wife. It's just idiotic. It wouldn't work in any situation.
Your honor, before you pass sentence, may I just say in my defense that yes, I did rob that bank, but I was confused by how much I love America!

Oh, you clocked me at 70 in a 35 mph zone? Well excuse me for loving America!

WALLACE: There's something else that bothers people. You were leading the charge to push Bill Clinton from office for lying about an affair and yes, he lied in a court proceeding, in a deposition, where he was sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth, but nothing but the truth. At the same time, you were leading that charge, you were having an affair. Isn't that hypocrisy?

Now this would be the time to say yes. Say "yes, that was hypocritical of me, but I've matured and blah blah blah. . . "Who wants to bet that Gingrich won't say "yes?" 
GINGRICH: No. 

 http://www.kkn.net/~k5tr/photo/ke5c/1emebig.jpg



 Really?
GINGRICH: No. Look, obviously, it's complex 

No. It isn't. How is it complex? This is one of those "Oh, you're just not smart enough to understand" defenses, isn't it? 
GINGRICH: No. Look, obviously, it's complex and, obviously, I wasn't doing things to be proud of. 

Yeah, obviously.
On the other hand, what I said, very clearly -- I knew this in part going through a divorce --
 (two divorces. Both due to Newt's scumbaggery.)
I knew this in part going through a divorce -- I had been in depositions. I had been in situations where you had to swear to tell the truth.

See, Chris, you've never fucked around on your wife, so you wouldn't understand. It's very complex. Only a true sophisticate such as myself can really understand the subleties.


I understood that in a federal court, in a case in front of a federal judge, to commit a felony, which is what he did, perjury was a felony. 

That assault on syntax should be a felony! As should this next sentence:
I thought the notion -- I mean, I don't know what you would have had me do because I think the notion that the president of the United States committing perjury -- remember, he is a lawyer. 

What else would you have me do? What could I possibly do other than drag my political opponent through a sham impeachment on trumped-up charges? It's not like I wanted to, I had to!


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_5wkMFMMQMAc/TKFtM9W9_DI/AAAAAAAAChU/tlHaan4NNoU/s1600/digging+a+hole.jpg 


Friday, March 25, 2011

Teabaggers In Action

Congratulations, America! These are the guys you put in charge.

http://www.montanaprolifecoalition.org/images/GregHinkle.jpg
Greg Hinkle, State Senator, Montana.

Here is what Hinkle has been doing to make Montana and, really all of America, a better place:

Montana Lawmaker Wants Feds to Alert Sheriffs on Arrests

By Douglas Kennedy
Published March 23, 2011
FoxNews.com



These days, Greg Hinkle, like many people, feels the federal government is out of control. But to Hinkle it’s not just about the deficit.
He believes federal law enforcement agencies are a big problem -- and that they have not been held accountable.


Sure, the deficit is a problem, but these feds just going around arresting criminals willy-nilly, that's the real issue!
 
Hinkle is a Republican state senator from Thomson Falls, and he recently proposed a law, likely the first of its kind, asking federal law enforcement to first seek approval of county sheriffs before any federal intervention in the state of Montana. He calls it “The Sheriffs First Bill.”

Because why should the FBI be allowed to make an arrest without first consulting this guy?
http://www.austinfunblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Roscoe-P_-Coltrane.jpg 


For instance, Hinkle would want the FBI to first notify a Montana sheriff before executing a search warrant or making an arrest in the state of Montana.
At one point he allowed for arrest of any federal agent who didn’t comply, but has since taken out that language.

This law could have been written by the Montana Freemen.

“How on earth could the states not challenge federal law?” he asked. “That's the way our system of government works.”

Well, in a way. If a state has a problem with a federal law, they can take it to the courts, like several states are doing with healthcare reform. You can't just pass a law giving your state authority over the federal govenrment. It just doesn't work that way.

“The states are what created the federal government,” he added, “so the states should actually have more authority than the federal government."

Well, maybe they should. But they don't. It's in the Constitution. You know, the document you teabaggers love to pretend is your scripture, instruction manual, and masturbation material all rolled into one.

But that's not all that Hinkle is doing to improve the lives of Montanans and, really, the whole world. 

Senator defends spear-hunting bill before House committee

 

Yep, Greg Hinkle is protecting your right to throw a spear at a deer.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/bozemandailychronicle.com/content/tncms/assets/editorial/9/54/b58/954b5844-362e-11e0-97ff-001cc4c002e0-revisions/4d55b89d538d1.image.jpg 

Also, you can shoot an arrow at a sparrow.
Throw a rock at a gamecock.
Take a club to a cub.
Hit ducks with nunchuks.
I could do this all day.

Saying that passage of his bill allowing hunting with spears would not result in people running around the Montana woods in loincloths, [then what's the point?] Sen. Greg Hinkle, R-Thompson Falls, defended his proposal before the House Fish, Wildlife and Parks Committee on Tuesday in Helena. 
The measure, Senate Bill 112, already has passed the Senate.

As has his "Sheriff's  First" bill, by the way, so apparently Montana is sort of a kooky place.

Hinkle said a spear is similar to a large arrow and added that it has been successfully used by our ancestors for thousands of years.
“It works. It’s been around a long time,” Hinkle said.

Also, why did we ever stop lighting fires with rocks and sticks? That works perfectly well. And what's the deal with cars? What, you got a problem with horses and buggies?

So Greg Hinkle really seems to believe in individual liberties. If you want to hunt with a spear, the government shouldn't be allowed to stand in your way. The Feds have to answer to local officials, no big government, let people do what they want. Unless what they want is to smoke pot to ease the effects of chemo. Then fuck you, we gotta get the government involved to stop that. Because otherwise, well let's let Greg Hinkle explain:

Hinkle said if the current marijuana law isn't fixed, Montana will be "faced with a tsunami that is going to make what happened to Japan look mighty small."

He couldn't possibly have meant. . .  I  mean, there's no way. . .let's give him a chance to clarify.

Senator Hinkle Stands By 'Tsunami' Comment

 Senator Greg Hinkle is standing by comments he made Monday, when he compared Montana's medical marijuana problem to the tsunami in Japan. NBC Montana caught up with the senator to set the record straight.

"When that tsunami came into shore, they really had no idea of what was going to happen and it overwhelmed them," explained Hinkle."I believe the same situation is happening in the state of Montana and the United States of America with the drug problem. It's getting larger, there will be lives lost and there has been lives lost."

Yeah, good job, Montana teabaggers! This is the guy you put in a position of responsibility.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

AJ's Burgers in Hilton Head, SC is very tasty.

And the people there are super nice. There's just one thing they don't really seem to get.

# 16 VEGAN (4 - 5 oz.)



A black bean chipotle burger topped w/ Sautéed onion, green peppers,
mushrooms and choice of cheese


 But if you find yourself in Hilton Head, give 'em a try.


http://www.ajsburgers.net/home
Vegan. With your choice of cheese.

William Kristol Is Disgusting




This is the opening line from Kristol's column:

And so, despite his doubts and dithering, President Obama is taking us to war in another Muslim country. Good for him..



And he's not being sarcastic.

The president didn’t want this. He’s been so unhappy about such a possibility—so fearful of such an eventuality—that first he tied himself in knots trying to do nothing.
What a dick, trying to avoid additional bloodshed!

Then he decided that, if he had to act, it would be good to boast that he was merely following the Arab League and subordinating American action to the U.N. Security Council. After all, nothing—nothing!—could be worse than the perception that the United States was “invading” another Muslim country.

And why the quotes around the word invading?
Rubbish. Our “invasions” have in fact been liberations.
Seriously, you're still trotting out the liberation b.s.? We're still waiting to be greeted as liberators in Iraq.

We have shed blood and expended treasure in Kuwait in 1991, in the Balkans later in the 1990s, and in Afghanistan and Iraq—in our own national interest, of course, but also to protect Muslim peoples and help them free themselves. Libya will be America’s fifth war of Muslim liberation.



Since when do the neocons give a fuck about Muslim people? Does this sick little prick really think that anyone believes that the Republican party is willing to spend one red cent to liberate Muslims? The people they take every opportunity to demonize and villify?



The modern Republican party has played a key role in these honorable struggles. When in power, Republicans have taken the lead in fighting for liberty.

If by "fighting" you mean "sending other people's sons and daughters off to fight," then yeah, you may have a point.

 


 When in opposition, they have sought to push Democratic presidents to act—in the Balkans, and today in Libya—

Oh, yeah, I remember how you guys pushed Clinton to act in the Balkans. I believe the refrain was "No War For Monica!"






We have supported Democratic presidents when they do exactly what we tell them to do. Well, "support" is a strong word.


On March 17, for example, a few hours before the Security Council voted on Libya, the House of Representatives considered a resolution offered by Rep. Dennis Kucinich, “Directing the President, pursuant to section 5(c) of the War Powers Resolution, to remove the United States Armed Forces from Afghanistan.”




God Bless Dennis Kucinich!

The Afghanistan war has had bipartisan support from the beginning.
 The beginning when it was supposed to be about getting Osama bin Laden? Sure, there was plenty of bipartisan support for that. For some reason, there might be a bit less support for keeping troops in Afghanistan indefinitely with no apparent goal.

The Afghanistan war has had bipartisan support from the beginning. The Obama administration and the GOP leadership were both opposed to Kucinich’s resolution
Which probably tells you all you need to know about the supposed lefty/liberal Obama administration.

Kucinich’s resolution—which called not merely for timetables or draw downs, but for the simple and absolute removal of U.S. forces from Afghanistan. Yet close to half the Democrats in the House of Representatives voted for retreat and defeat.




The other half voted to continue to feed our soldiers into the meat grinder of Afghanistan for no earthly goddamned good reason? Who are these assholes?

And the Republicans? 222 to 8 against withdrawal
So there are 8 Republicans with some sense of human decency? That's a little encouraging.


That is what the modern Republican party has stood for. Part of that modern Republican tradition includes, when in opposition, supporting a Democratic administration when it does the right thing. That’s what Republicans have done with regard to Afghanistan. It’s what Republicans will do as the nation prosecutes the effort in Libya. And as Republicans select a 2012 nominee, they should seek a leader who will stand unabashedly for freedom at home and abroad.




It would almost be funny if there weren't people who take Kristol seriously.




Sunday, March 20, 2011

How many wars are enough?

Why is the discussion only about how much involvement we should have in Libya?  Can we live with Qadaffi in power? We have for decades.




How many wars will be enough for these people? How many flag-draped coffins need to come home before their sick demented blood-lust is satisfied? How many soldiers need to come home missing arms or legs? How many need to be blinded or paralyzed before we can say enough? How many civilian deaths will it take? How many dark-skinned babies have to die before the party of life will say "stop?" How many widows and orphans need to be created before Bill Kristol can talk about sendidng in ground troops without getting an erection? How much blood do these people need?

Saturday, March 19, 2011

America has the best Healthcare System In the World!

(via http://www.journaltimes.com/sports/bucks/article_efc79902-4ebd-11e0-8c1b-001cc4c002e0.html)

Kim Hughes was in trouble, more trouble than he ever envisioned.



While working as an assistant coach for the Los Angeles Clippers seven years ago, Hughes was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

(which may make him the only person named Kim to have ever had  prostate worries.)




But then Hughes encountered yet another major obstacle.


"I contacted the Clippers about medical coverage and they said the surgery wouldn't be covered," Hughes said. "I said, ‘Are you kidding me?' And they said if they did it for one person, they'd have to do for everybody else."

If you're not familiar with the worst franchise in pro sports, the Clippers are owned by a low-rent Trump clone named Donald Sterling, who is just a really horrible person.


When Dunleavy learned the Clippers wouldn't cover the cost of Hughes' surgery, he mentioned it to his players.


Several of them, including now Milwaukee Bucks forward Corey Maggette, Chris Kaman, Elton Brand and Marko Jaric, were taken aback by the news and decided to offer their assistance.


"Kim was one of our coaches and he's a really good friend of mine, too," Maggette said. "He was in a situation where the Clippers' medical coverage wouldn't cover his surgery. I thought it was a great opportunity to help someone in need, to do something that Christ would do.

Did you hear that, "Christian" Right?  Corey Magette gets the whole Jesus thing better than any of you.
If Hughes had delayed the surgery, and if Maggette and his teammates hadn't provided the necessary financial assistance, Hughes doesn't know what would have occurred.
Well, actually, he does.


"Those guys saved my life," Hughes said. "They paid the whole medical bill. It was like $70,000 or more. It wasn't cheap.

See, the system works! If your employer can't or won't cover your medical expenses, all you have to do is make friends with a bunch of millionaires! It's so simple, and damned effective! Why would anyone want to reform the American healthvare system, the best system in the world!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Two Reasons I Am Not Wearing Green, So Sue Me.

1. I am not Irish

2. I am not Catholic.

So why would you want me horning in on your holiday anyway?

Honestly, if I was Irish, I'm pretty sure I would be offended by all this "Everyone's Irish Today" crap.



Blondie Cartoon for 03/17/2011
Copyright 2011 by King Features Syndicate, Inc. World rights reserved. 

I'm oretty sure that if I went to an Octoberfest where people were wearing fake lederhosen and swilling beer out of plastic steins and someone said to me "Ach, Efferyone ist German Today," I'd be hard pressed to resist punching him in his non-German mouth for reducing the culture of my ancestors to cheap drunken kitsch.

http://images.sabob.com/products/images/1/German_Lederhosen_Costume.jpeg

This is what you think of the land of Goethe, Bach, and Werner Herzog? Fuck you! Gutenberg must be rolling in his grave!
http://www.thefancarpet.com/uploaded_assets/images/actor/3201/Steve_Guttenberg_32520_Medium.jpg 

No, the good one!

http://ufos.homestead.com/gutenberg.jpg 

Yeah, the printing press guy.

 Aaaaaanyway, I'm not trying to be a spoilsport. I didn't consciously amke a decision to avoid green. If the first shirt on top of the drawer had been green, I probably wouldn't have put it back out of spite, I didn't even think about it being St. Patrick's day today when I got up this morning. It just doesn't matter to me. It's not my holiday. I don't fast for Ramadan either. It doesn't mean I have anything against those who do. I just don't feel like I need to glom on to someone elses's cultural observances. So sue me.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Bloggers rejoice, our jobs just got a little easier. Sharron Angle is running for Congress!



 If you don't feel like sitting through the video, the announcement goes something like this:

People are talking about losing their homes, unemployment and making ends meet. Fortunately, the solution to all those problems can be found in the Second Amendment.

http://images.politico.com/global/news/101004_sharron_angle.jpg

I'm most concerned with the debt we are passing on to our children. For some reason, it took me eight years to realize that debt was bad. But if we just go back to the Constitution, poof! Debt disappears!

The 2010 election was bittersweet. Conservatives won some victories, just not as many as they would have won had nutjobs like me and Christine O'Donnell not gotten nominated.

http://www.dancesport-newengland.com/wp-content/uploads/christine-o-donnell.jpg

But we still face obstacles from Democrats, although technically, since we are the minority party, we are actually the obstacles, but why quibble when look how scary Nancy Pelosi's giant head is! Sure, she no longer has any power, but still!

The Obama administration has made it clear that it intends to pursue the very scary healthcare reform which already passed last year. Also job-killing policies. I'm not sure which policies those are, but just look at this pink slip. Obviously, something killed that job, and since Obama's face is next to the pink slip, well you do the math. 'Cause I sure can't.

http://www.angryblacklady.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/sharron-angle.jpg

And the Democrats for some reason have agreed to go along with the leader of their party! Especially Barney Frank. He's the biggest member of Congress, he dwarfs Harry Reid, so obviously Democrats = Gay!

So today I am announcing that I am running for Congress. Because if I couldn't win maybe the most winnable seat in the Senate, I'm sure that running for Congress will be just as successful--wait, no. That's not it. Um, God wants me to run? 

http://lynnrockets.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/sharron_angle_tin_hat.jpg

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Adorable Kittens Discuss Jan Brewer

Brewer's Teleprompter Fails



Cassie 

But I thought Obama was the only person who ever used a teleprompter!
Now the Obama-teleprompter jokes don't make any sense!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kVr-BhNiU7I/TMY-5s7uS3I/AAAAAAAABfE/Rsk9GlmWqzU/s400/obama_teleprompter_cartoon.png 


According to Princess Sparkle Pony, Brewer got snubbed by Sarah Palin

Did Sarah Palin Snub Jan Brewer? [UPDATED]

By now, Jan Brewer is back in Arizona. I'm assuming there was a massive ticker-tape parade upon her return. But what happened to her plans to meet with the Sarah Palin? Granted, the news reports which mentioned the scheduled meeting were a little hazy, and Brewer herself never said she was going to meet with Palin,  but as far as I can tell, it didn't happen.
UPDATE: Interesting that in a blog post at the Arizona Republic about Sarah Palin's choice of Arizona as a possible base for her campaign,  there is the following vagueness:

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, who spent the weekend vacationing in Alaska, said she didn't have any conversations with Palin about a possible Senate run while she was in town and that the topic never came up.

Note that the statements above imply that Brewer talked to Palin this weekend without actually stating it. If Brewer didn't meet Palin, the above statements would still be true. Clever! I still find it impossible to believe a Palin/Brewer meeting without photo-ops. 


Baby Angus 

What could be more pathetic than a sitting governor schlepping all the way to Alaska 
to kiss Sarah Palin's ring?

http://www.innocentenglish.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/cute-kitten-laughing.jpg 
Getting all the way up there and then getting stiffed by Airhead McSimpleton!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fCRW-kZPmkM/TQI2TgIYcdI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/uz2OCX0SG2s/s1600/Cat-laughing.jpg 

Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!

http://www.catsofaustralia.com/images/cute_baby_kitten.jpg 

Apropos of nothing, Jan Brewer reminds me of a lady that you would visit in a rest home, then leave shaking your head whispering "she used to be so sharp."


 Except, Jan was never really that sharp. Remember This fiasco?


Larry Kudlow Accidentally Says it Out loud

Kudlow is grateful that the human toll of the earthquake/tsunami will be much worse than the economic toll.




 Of course, he's making a half-assed attempt to walk it back now:

(From TPM)
Kudlow tweeted his apology later on Friday:
I did not mean to say human toll in Japan less important than economic toll. Talking about markets. I flubbed the line. Sincere apology.

Because nothing makes your apology seem more sincere than not bothering to form complete sentences. Hey, I'm a busy man, if I'm gonna squeeze an apology into my hectic schedule, I gotta do it quickly! Sincere Apology! Luv Ya, Mean it!

Anyway, Larry, we know you didn't mean to say that. Because generally you're smart enough not to say things like that out loud. Usually, you're crafty enough to pretend to have a touch of human decency. But you definitely meant it. You just didn't mean to say it.  It's like when Mrs. Kudlow says "God I dread 'date night' with Larry!" she means it. She just didn't mean for you to hear it.

Of course, this is what the CNBC types, the Wall Street cheerleaders, the corporate apologists really think. That's why they celebrate whenever unemployment goes up, driving wages down. As long as the stock market has an uptick, they don't care about actual people actually suffering.

Honestly, it's unseemly to be discussing the economics of this disaster at all. What sort of a person sees that 10,000 lives are estimated lost and thinks "hmm, I'd better turn on CNBC and see how this will affect my portfolio?" What kind of a human being has that kind of reaction? How does someone like that look at  himself in the mirror and consider himself a human being? It's disgusting.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Terrible Marketing -- Red Camel

Red Camel is a brand of ladies' clothing, including swimsuits, which seems to be owned by the Belk Department store chain.
Red Camel®

Red Camel® Spot On Halter Top

Red Camel® Gone Wild Hipster


Because I'm pretty sure that when a girl goes shopping for swimwear, the image she most wants to be associated with is the camel. 

My Humps! My Humps!    My Lovely Lady Lumps! 

 

Really, the word "camel" is generally associated with one of three things.


The unattractive animal

The brand of cigarettes

or 

The dreaded "camel toe," 

None of which seem like images you'd want to invoke when trying to sell ladies' clothing, especially swimwear. 

http://www.toonpool.com/user/1087/files/camel_140705.jpg

 

(if you're unfamiliar with the slang term "camel toe" do NOT do a Google image search. 

Here is a SFW definition: Urban Dictionary) 



Sunday, March 13, 2011

Michele Bachmann comes Through Again


When we are living in a world in which we may be staring down the barrell of a nuclear catastrophe, in which there are actual human beings trying to blame an 11-year-old girl for her own gang rape (really), and the governor of Michigan has decided to give himself the power to take over any city or school district and run it like his own private banana republic (really), it's a relief to know that Michele Bachmann will keep opening her ignorant lunatic mouth and saying crazy nonsense to lighten the mood.


Speaking at an event held by the Republican Liberty Caucus on Saturday, Bachmann invoked the founding fathers and offered a historical account in lauding the early presidential primary state.


"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love for liberty," she said, according to Politico. "You're the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history."



Oyyyyyyy. . . . .

Jeezus, Bachmann, really? The shot heard 'round the world? In New Hampshire?  Everyone knows that happened at the Polo Grounds!

 

Oh, and there was another shot heard 'round the world" earlier, but it wasn't in New Hampshire either. It was in Massachussets. And I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the people of New Hampshire probably know that. They at least know that it did not happen in their state. Do you not have a staff? Or access to Google? Or any memory of Schoolhouse Rock?



Also, how does one pay with the blood of one's ancestors? It doesn't make any sense. Your ancestors' blood was spilt before you were born. You played no part in their decision to sacrifice their lives and/or limbs in the cause of making America magnificent.
And are you absolutely sure that the US 0f A  is the " most magnificent nation that has ever arisen?" Have you done a magnificence comparison with the splendors of Ancient Rome, or the grandeur of Paroahic Egypt, or even theBritish Empire of the 18th-19th centuries? Hell, have you ever been to Paris? The French know how to do magnificence!

  
 
 
I guess we should just be glad that she was able to invoke the founding fathers without putting her hand down her pants and whispering "yes, Alexander Hamilton, yes!"
 
P.S. And the Fox/teabagger contigent spins Bachmann's stunning ignorance as a positive in 3. . .2. . .