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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Crazy Redneck is Crazy

So this showed up at the home of some nutbag in Austin, TX:



http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/lynched-chair.jpg

And in light of the empty chair/Clint Eastwood thing, some people suspected that maybe this might be the homeowner's retarded way of hanging the president in effigy. So a reporter from Burnt Orange Report called the guy up and asked him about it.

 I called the homeowner to ask about his display, citing my concerns as a fellow Austinite. He replied, and I quote, "I don't really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don't give a shit. If you don't like it, don't come down my street."

Sure, that's just about the type of reasoned, rational response I would expect from a person who would lynch a folding chair.


I wouldn't be surprised if this really had nothing to do with President Obama. This guy could actually be pissed off at chairs.



 
Thet thar sumbitchin' chair had no right to talk to Mr. Eastwood thet way!  Tellin' him to go do stuff to hisself, thet ain't right! Goddamm smartass chairs, always talkin' 'bout shit what they don't know about. Thet goldurn chair was the worst character on Pee Wee's Playhouse, I tell ya wut! Chairy! Chairy my ass, more like Fairy if'n ya ask me. Any o' them smartass chairs start sassin' me, I'll fuckin shoot hiz ass!



Oh, and now the homeowner has fixed the problem with the display. He has added a miniature American flag to the chair.

oh say can you see

Which really just clarifies nothing. Is he lynching America? Is it only American-made chairs he's mad at? Who knows.

Wonkette adds this interesting little tidbit to the story. Apparently, in 2010, the homeowner was awarded "Yard of the Month" by the neighborhood homeowners association:
 It was August 2010, at the head of Teatard Mania, so he hung a man made of teabags with a “watermelon flavor” sign around the neck and, in case you didn’t get it, a small sign underneath that said “The Slow Drip of Liberty” and then next to it, “For Whites.” SUBTLETY.

Now I'm really confused. If the homeowner is a teabagger, why would he hang a man made of teabags? Wouldn't that represent him and his fellow knuckle draggers? And if the teabag man is the villain, why does liberty drip from him? I'm starting to think this guy might not be all there.