I'm 99% sure that this is satire, but either way it's funny, and i could use a good laugh.
(h/t Jesus' General)
Friday, March 20, 2009
I keep hearing that the bonuses being handed out at AIG really shouldn't be a big deal. They only amount to 1/10 of 1% of the bailout, etc. But they do matter, and they are important, because this shit is going to keep happening as long as the little pricks that run these businesses know that they can gamble with other people's money, rack up huge profits, and when it inevitably implodes, not only will the rest of us pay for it, they will still get the bonuses they were expecting. There are no consequences for these fuckers. It's like if you walked in to work and pooped on your boss's desk and he said "that's inexcusable! But, I sure would hate for you to quit, so here's a million dollars. Now send someone else in here to clean up my desk!" Wouldn't you poop on your boss's desk every day, if that happened? Well, these sons of bitches will keep pooping all over the taxpayers unless there are negative consequences for doing it. Losing their bonuses would be one small step in the right direction. They should be given pink slips, and when they apply for new jobs with another company, hiring managers should look at their resumes and say "OH, you're one of those AIG assholes? Security, come remove this human stain from my office." That's how it would work for us normal working stiffs. If I screwed things up so badly at work that the entire company was teetering on the edge of extinction, I would expect to be fired. And I would expect to be treated like a pariah by other companies. Of course, these pricks get to live by another set of rules, where there are no consequences for failure. They get rewarded for success and rewarded for failure.