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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Breaking News: People Like Socialism!


Hey, kids. Have you heard about the latest thing? It's called "socialism," and there has never been a time before now when it has been so popular. According to the tongue cluckers and tsk-tskers of conservative media.

Apparently, for the first time in American history, people are starting to maybe have a sort of favorable view of socialism!

socialist party graphic



Never before have people embraced socialist policies in America!

Related image

So by now, I expect everyone has seen this ridiculous failed attempt at scare-mongering:

I’M A CONSERVATIVE, AND I WENT TO AN ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ RALLY


Virginia Kruta | Associate Editor


But then Ocasio-Cortez spoke, followed by Bush, and I saw something truly terrifying. I saw just how easy it would be, were I less involved and less certain of our nation’s founding and its history, to fall for the populist lines they were shouting from that stage.
  • I saw how easy it would be, as a parent, to accept the idea that my children deserve healthcare and education.
  • I saw how easy it would be, as someone who has struggled to make ends meet, to accept the idea that a “living wage” was a human right.
  • Above all, I saw how easy it would be to accept the notion that it was the government’s job to make sure that those things were provided.


And this:




But those people just don't get to the real root of the problem.

If you want to really get down to the problem with young people and socialism, you must **MUST** watch this video.

This video is from some weird dude called Josh Bernstein who has a show of some sort, maybe it's just online, or maybe it's a radio show, I don't know, but One thing's for sure: he is a very intelligent, well-spoken person with a real gift for broadcasting and a full head of hair!

He's here to explain to us why this younger generation ids the first ever to embrace socialism as a positive force.


Upton Sinclair stands before a crowd during his campaign for governor of California

Here's the description of this video posted to YouTube:

Why does this generation embrace Socialism more than any other generation before them? Answer is because they don't have a clue what Socialism is. When they find out what it is they hate it like everyone else. In this video I explain this and teach you all how to explain Socialism with one child's toy..



So You can imagine the kind of flawless logic you're about o hear!

It's worth watching just for the intro, honestly. The voiceover, done of course in the "shouting about auto racing" voice so you know you're about to hear a real man, says he's been called "a political savant."
(He has not.)
(Unless someone was confused about what the word "savant" mean, having only heard it in the context of "idiot-savant," and maybe thought it means "idiot." Then maybe)

The voiceover guy also claims that Josh has been called "the voice of his generation."
(also no.)

Anyway, start watching and let me know how far you get before your brain climbs out your earhole and crawls to the liquor cabinet in a stumbling daze.





Oh, and he's also referred to as "the mainstream media's worst nightmare," which might be partly true, in that their worst nightmare is abysmally low ratings.

Anyway, then Josh (who. . .talks. . .like. . .this) begins with the usual baffled incredulity that young people somehow seem to think that they would like some socialism, please. Which he expresses as if he were reporting about some strange group of people who enjoy drinking poison, or shaving their heads with cheese graters, or watching The Big Bang Theory.

Why is this? How could this be? how could young people possibly like some thing that is obviously, inherently bad? Don't worry. Josh has it figured out because he, unlike the young people, is a smart!



via GIPHY


According to wise old man Josh, the main reason is that the young "have no idea what socialism truly is," He then proceeds to prove that he actually does know what socialism is, except he does not and is stupid.

The conservative capitalist position, by the way, is described by Josh as wanting to remove all the obstacles in your life that are keeping you from achieving your dreams. You know, like access to doctors and medicine/ Or a living wage. Or the ability to control your reproductive system (ladies only).

Also, he pretends that this position is too confusing for young people to understand.



Then it starts to get freakin' real! Josh lets all the young people know that all the "free stuff" that you think you're getting for free? Guess what, youngs? Nothing is truly free! You're gonna end up paying for it! And before you can say "yes. We know. We will pay for it with our tax dollars, we get how it works," Josh drops the bombshell: You're gonna pay for it, all right. Pay for it with . . . your freedom!!!

And shockingly, Josh points to venezuela and Cuba as the examples of the results of socialism. Inexplicably, he forgets to cite the socialist horrors of Denmark. Or Sweden. Or the Netherlands. Or Canada.


Bart Simpson Shuddering GIF


Very very smart Josh professes that (as we older folks know) socialism doesn't work, has never worked, and mathematically can not work! Unlike the mathematically and logically sound trickle-sown economics, presumably.

And why even bother to present any evidence that socialism has "failed in every single place it's been tried?" I mean, all you have to do is look at the hellscapes of . . . most of Europe, really.

Happy birthday La Marseillaise: All you need to know about the French national anthem

They're shouting "Save us, free-market capitalism!"

Then he scoffs at Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez because she was a bartender six or seven months ago. Can you imagine? A common bartender? Not a "political outsider" like the noble Donald Trump or Arnold Schwartzenneger, or Dr Ben Carson! No, a bartender! The nerve of this woman!

And, it hardly needs to be pointed out that socialism is, by definition, "government ownership of the means of production," but Josh helpfully mentions this totally true, not at all mixed up with Soviet Communism fact. And when asked what socialism means, only sixteen percent of milennials gave this obviously true definition, which goes to show that it is the young people, not Josh Bernstein, who lack the most basic grasp of what socialism is.

Josh has a very sensible plan, though. Since people under thirty seem to like socialism, and older folks tend to see things the same way as Josh, just raise the voting age to 30! Problem solved!
You see, young Americans have never had to stand in bread lines. Only the oldest Americans remeber the last time there were bread lines here.


Totally cause by socialism. If only Herbert Hoover could have injected some good old fashioned laissez faire capitalism into the US!

Finally, he gets around to the wagon analogy and it is every bit as astute and insightful as you have by now surely come to expect from Josh. 
It takes him about three hours to tell this story, partly because he is so busy waxing rhapsodic over the awesomeness of the Radio Flyer wagon and having a completely accurate idea about how exciting wagons are for kids. (extremely!)
But the moral of the story is: if you put too many people in the wagoin, it gets really hard to pull. What does that have to do with socialism, you ask? Um, everything. If you were as smart as Josh, you would understand this. The point is: socialism is bad! Duh!