So this came across my Twitter feed today:
Ted Cruz’s Yiddish ad tells New York Jews he is God’s chosen candidate
Well of course he thinks he's the chosen one!
Yiddish advertisement run by the Cruz campaign touted the Texas Senator"s conservative bona fides and religious faith.
"Presidential candidate Ted Cruz is the first and only since President Reagan who believes that God is the one who decides who will be elected president of the US, which is why he is confident that he will be elected."
Okay, first of all, I'm no linguist, but I'm pretty sure that's not Yiddish.
But anyway. . . Ted, Bubbeleh, what are you even talking about? God decides who will be the president? If God decides who gets to be President, where the fuck do you get off complaining about Barack Obama? According to you, Barack Obama was chosen by God himself to be President of Gods' favorite country, where do you get the chutzpah to kvetch about his choice?
Also, Teddy, you meshuggah pischer, if God is going to decide who wins, and you're confident that he's going to pick you, what are you working so hard for? Relax, have a nosh. Maybe take a schvitz. If God wants you to be president, you'll be president. Why put all this effort into wrangling delegates away from Trump? Just let God work his magic. You know, if you actually believe what your ad says. Or is it all just a bunch of shmontses?
Oy! Enough with the fake Yiddish already, you goyish shmegege!
On my worst enemy, I shouldn't wish such a read as this post!
