Monday, April 21, 2014

Can we all just stop pretending to give a shit about the Boston Marathon?

God damn it, if I hear one more fucking word about Boston or the marathon or Big fucking Papi I swear I'm going to scream

 
Or "Boston Strong," for that matter.
Apparently, we're all supposed to be just super-impressed that after a really bad thing happened in Boston the city, what. . . continued to exist? The entire populace didn't just weep in the fetal position for the rest of time?
 
Does Boston have any idea what weenies they look like making such a melodramatic spectacle of themselves after New York managed to survive NINE-FUCKING-ELEVEN? Oh, wow, Boston, you managed to pick yourselves up and dust yourselves off and go on with your lives after an entire three people were killed in your city? That's a slow afternoon in Chicago. And Three THOUSAND lives were lost on 9/11, so it's kinda hard to really feel like you had that big an ordeal. Hell, Sandy Hook had twenty children murdered in one day and you don't see them on tv every five minutes bragging about being "Sandy Hook Strong."
 
Your terrorist attack was closer top the Atlanta Olympic bombing. Two people died in Centennial Park and a hundred-plus were injured, and you didn't see anyone talking about "Atlanta Strong" or saying that the Braves had to win the World Series so that the nation could heal.
 
A very bad thing happened in your city. Get over it. Bad things happen everywhere. Right now, as you read this, someone is being murdered somewhere in the US. And that's tragic. But the city in which that person is being killed is not going to see this murder as an opportunity for obnoxious self-aggrandizement.
 
PS, no one gives a shit that an American won the Boston Marathon this year, because no one has ever given a shit about who wins any marathon because marathons are relentlessly boring and no one cares. And because the assholes who bombed the finish line at the Boston Marathon weren't actually angry at marathons, or eager to prevent people from running them, so it's not really that big a fuck-you to those scumbags to have an American win.