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Friday, December 8, 2017

Okay, who is this lady?



So I see Janet Porter was on the teevee again. this time with Anderson Cooper.





She is apparently an official spokeswoman for Roy Moore who knows pretty much zero about Roy Moore, except that all the allegations against him are false.

And she combines so many of the right-wing talking head styles into her own melange.
She's got some of the Mike Pence "I'm just do disappointed in you" condescension.
She's got a bit of the Kellyanne Conway "I've practiced this lie in the mirror so many times that I've started to believe it" dead eyed  cult-member affect.
There's a soupcon of the Ross Perot "Can I get a word in edgewise?" whine.
And a heaping helping of the Sarah Huckabee-Sanders "How dare you question this great man?" umbrage.
Oh, she's a pip, all right!


“Does Judge Moore still believe that homosexual conduct should be illegal and homosexuality is still the same thing at beastiality?” Cooper asked.
“I can’t answer that question,” she replied.


“Does he still believe 9/11 may have happened because, quote, we distanced ourselves from God?” Cooper continued. “That’s what he said in the past. Does he still believe that?”
“I don’t know the answer, no,” Porter finally admitted.
“Does he still believe Barack Obama wasn’t born in the United States?” Cooper asked.
“You know what,” Porter replied, waving the question away, “that issue has kind of come and gone.”


Oh, that is just bang-up work there! Great spokeswomaning, Janet!


https://media.giphy.com/media/imRu0Oqh6kzdK/source.gif



“Does he still believe that the U.S. is ‘the focus of evil in the world’ because of same-sex marriage?” Cooper queried. 
“You can ridicule his biblical beliefs if you want,” Porter replied,



I can? Cool!
Okay, here goes.
Ahahahahaha!!!You believe that all of the world's problems are the result of a naked lady taking some bad advice from a talking snake! Ahahahaha!!!

You think that the Almighty ruler of the universe has nothing bigger to worry about than what people do with their wee wees and hoo hoos! Ahahahahaha!.

Ahhhh, that was fun. Thanks, Janet.

Anyway, this all got me wondering who is Janet Porter?





https://media4.picsearch.com/is?dOEhv1rHdHjh2VsV14gLsHfLRQz5Ktu9ERAoHA8_3ls&height=208

Well, according to Wikipedia:
Janet L. Folger Porter (born October 13, 1962)[2] is an American conservative activist who is the founder and president of conservative group Faith2Action. . . She has also written a column for WorldNetDaily since 2007,



Wing Nut Daily? Ahahahahaha!!! What, was the Weekly World News not hiring?

 



Okay, so what is "Faith2Action?"
Well, for starters, they seem to be sponsored by some incredibly honest advertisers:


Because, as we all know, this is exactly what a 6-week-old fetus looks like.
Aww, he's so adorable! Let's look at another of these little cutie pies

https://media3.picsearch.com/is?iFJeFC8aNG4vNTathwAJzl1SmFf9fdpO2mnpQpH-ons&height=340


https://www.taleas.com/images/memes/oh-god-no-ewww.png


But obviously this heartbeat bill organization is on the up-and-up, because when you click on the adorable baby, you get this:


Send cards to every Member of Congress!
(535 personalized, printed, color cards, will be mailed to each office from you) $59.95


So it's not like they have some sort of ulterior motive or anything.

 And on the Fath2Action website's "About Janet Porter" section, I found this bit of biographical information:


Janet has authored five books including: The Criminalization of Christianity, True to Life, and What’s a Girl to Do While Waiting for Mr. Right?  Janet has received an Honorary Doctorate Degree in Christian Humanitarian Service from the South Florida Bible College and Theological Seminary. 
 

Because she couldn't get into Hollywood Upstairs Medical College?

So she's an author, eh? Well I went to Amazon to check out one of her fine, well-written, not at all insane screeds books.
(This was written under her maiden name, Janet Folger)



Here's the blurb:

There is a war going on for the future of our country. Most people know that. What they may not know is that if Christians lose, the result won't merely be enduring public policy we disagree with - it will be a prison sentence for those who oppose it. [claim based on nothing] We've all seen the attack coming. First the Supreme Court said kids can't pray in school. [untrue. Kids can pray all they want, their teachers just can't lead them in prayer. Every classroom in America is filled with kids praying "please don't let her call on me."]Then the Ten Commandments were ripped from the classrooms. Now pastors are being removed from their pulpits and put in jail for speaking out against homosexuality [except that that has never happened once in the history of the U.S. Not once.] (Sweden). [oh. I thought you said this was a battle for OUR country. Also, I doubt that happened in Sweden either] And things are only getting worse. How in the world did we get to this place? And why is it that Christians are singled out in this assault on morality? Serving as a wake-up call for America, this book will expose the truth that Christianity is being criminalized - and that we must stand up against it

Oh my God, that is horrible. Those poor Christians! It must be so hard being as persecuted minority that . . .I'm sorry, what? Majority? A slim majority? Oh, Christians make up the vast majority of the population of the United States? Really?



 https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/Pew_religion_in_america_pie.png



 So. . . it's like apartheid? Where the minority group has all the power and oppresses the majority? Like, I'm sure there must be no Christians in Congress, right?

http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/congress2.jpg

Hmmm. I'm beginning to think her thesis may not be sound.


Maybe she's more coherent on other subject matters. Let's take a look at some of her columns.



How same-sex marriage points to end of the world

Exclusive: Janet Folger looks to rabbinical wisdom,
New Testament to interpret California's court ruling


Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2008/05/64769/#M1aULFtgiilR6UJ1.99





https://media.giphy.com/media/ncbdoCpKerEbK/giphy.gif



As I wrote about in my book, “The Criminalization of Christianity,” Jeffrey Satinover, who holds an M.D. from Princeton and doctorates from Yale, MIT and Harvard, was on my radio program one day and I asked him about where we are in history. He explained that according to the “Babylonian Talmud” – the book of rabbis’ interpretation of the scriptures 1,000 years before Christ, there was only one time in history that reflects where we are right now. There was only one time in history, according to these writings, where men were given in marriage to men, and women given in marriage to women.

And if anyone had a firm grasp of social history, it was Babylonian rabbis in 1000 BC!




Want to venture a guess as to when? No, it wasn’t in Sodom and Gomorrah, although that was my guess. Homosexuality was rampant there, of course, but according to the Talmud, not homosexual “marriage.” What about ancient Greece? Rome? No. Babylon? No again. The one time in history when homosexual “marriage” was practiced was … during the days of Noah. And according to Satinover, that’s what the “Babylonian Talmud” attributes as the final straw that led to the Flood


I mean, sure, it isn't mentioned in the Bible. At all. But what else could have gotten God so mad? It's basic logic! Whenever something is not mentioned in Scripture, just go ahead and assume it's gay marriage.
Now, is there any historical record of any antediluvian societies allowing same-sex marriage? Well, no, silly! These records got super water-damaged what with all the flooding and whatnot. But I think we can fill in the blanks.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2002/10/Noahs_Ark_on_Mount_Ararat_by_Simon_de_Myle-1598x900.jpg


Does it look like I got room for records storage in here?






But, he said, the Talmud’s writings reveal that “before the Flood people started to write marriage contracts between men, in other words, homosexual ‘marriage,’ which is more than homosexual activity – it’s giving an official state stamp of approval, a sanctification … of homosexual partnership.”
In fact, he said, “the writings indicated that it wasn’t even so much the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back,’ but that the sin in and of itself is so contrary to why God created the world, so contrary to the order of God’s nature, that God said then and there ‘I have to start all over … to annihilate the world and start from the beginning. …'”

hhhhhhttps://images.dailykos.com/images/123480/large/jesus_facepalm.jpg?1420774445

Augh! I forgot I was going to put the hetero gene in everybody this time!

Okay, so I guess she's not an expert on gay marriage ending the world. What else does she got?


Communism scheduled for a vote in Senate

Exclusive: Janet Porter shares 1992 account about Soviet 'Barack' being groomed



Ohhhhh. She's just a lunatic! Got it. Makes perfect sense.





Wednesday, December 6, 2017

America is done




America is done because this is a thing that can actually occur in this country now:



Spokeswoman Defends Roy Moore By Touting ‘Non-Accusers’



 An actual paid spokeswoman for an actual United States Senate candidate, a candidate with an actual good chance of winning, mind you, can actually go on an actual news program and say this:


Discussing the multiple allegations against Moore, Jane Porter told CNN’s Poppy Harlow “we need to make it clear, there’s a group of non-accusers, that have not accused the judge of anything illegal.”


WHAAAAT????

I thought the defenders of Roy Moore had hit the bottom of the barrel when that minister guy said that while Moore was in Vietnam all the women his age got married to other fellas, so what was he gonna do, NOT feel up a middle-schooler?


“All of the ladies, or many of the ladies that he possibly could have married, were not available then, they were already married, maybe, somewhere,” said Benham.
This meant Moore had to look “in a different direction,” said Benham
“He did that because there is something about a purity of a young woman, there is something that is good, that’s true, that’s straight and he looked for that,” Benham said.



https://m.popkey.co/ba612d/4MobD.gif





Ohhh my God, that is so horrible! Ohhhhh, I don't even want to think about it. These young ladies are so good and pure and innocent - what 34-year-old man wouldn't want to stick his dick in them?

But anyway, I thought that was the bottom of the barrel until this lady comes out with the "what about all the girls he didn't molest?" defense.


https://1dcem613f5v8509f13ajfcqx-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/Warren-Oates-And-Michelle-Phillips-In-Dillinger-1973-630x768.jpg
Hey, what about all the banks we didn't rob, hmm? Case dismissed, am I right?

I mean, America is just done. There's no coming back from this.

America is also done because an actual woman could actually write this in 2017 and get it published on a reputable site (at least it used to be.)

https://people.uvawise.edu/pww8y/Supplement/-ConceptsSup/SocStructure/02Family/Births/16Pregnant/SlateCom%20Logo.JPG

The Upside of Office Flirtation?

I’m living it.


Okay, so there's not necessarily anything wrong with "office flirtation." If Bob from IT flirts with Susan from accounts payable, there's probably nothing wrong with that. As long as they're peers and as long as Susan doesn't tell Bob to get lost.

This on the other hand. . .

When I was 23 years old, my boss would look down the gap at the waistband of my jeans when he walked past my desk. I was an entry-level fact-checker at my first magazine job, and he was an older and more powerful editor. My career, at the time, was in his hands. Once, when we had finished working on a story together, he suggested we get a drink to celebrate. It was a Friday night, and I remember feeling extremely nervous as we sat across from each other in a dark bar. He was flirting with me, I could tell. The next weekend, he asked me out again. A few days later, he kissed me on the steps of the West 4th subway station without first getting my consent. We’ve now been happily married for 14 years and have three children.


https://78.media.tumblr.com/46477682bf0daa146c6209374fa56acf/tumblr_oylxzeaemE1vbcnq8o1_500.gif
Ewwwwwwww!!!!

Okay, first of all, a creepy lech trying to sneak a peek at your butt crack is NOT "flirting." And a man who "holds your career in his hands" inviting you for a drink is NOT okay. Because you probably felt like you couldn't say "no," right? So it's really not fair, is it? What if this disturbing, lecherous ass-looker hadn't been your dream man? What if you had been, say, a normal person who found his actions repulsive? And you'd still probably feel obligated to go with him for that "celebratory" drink, right? And, being a normal person, you'd probably be creeped out the whole time, right? And then you'd have to decide whether it was worth continuing to work there if this lecher is going to be there every day leering at you and trying to get you to go out with him. And you'd have to think about what would happen if you report him - would they believe you? Would you be fired? I mean, seriously, nothing good comes from a boss asking his employee to go to a bar with him after hours.




If a younger woman asks an older and more professionally powerful man for job advice, and that man ends up hitting on the woman, is that on its own harassment?


Yeah. If she goes to this guy in a professional capacity and he turns that into an opportunity to try to get laid? And he's got all the power in that situation? Yeah, how would that not be harassment?


Is it always wrong when a man is attracted to a woman at work, and acts on that attraction?
 Oh my God, seriously?
No, it is not wrong for a man to be attracted to a co-worker. It all depends on whether they are co-workers or one is the other's boss or outranks the other, and it depends on whether "acting on the attraction" consists of saying "hey, Susan, wanna go out this weekend?" or if you're Matt Lauer walking around the office with your dick out. And I think you know all this.
You know, this is the same bullshit I remember hearing from guys at work during the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings. "Oh, man, no one know what you can even say anymore." "You can't even give someone a compliment!"And sadly, I expect that kind of bullshit from guys, but from a lady person?

But really, maybe the main reason that America is finished is because of shit like this:



When there is a large percentage of Americans who believe shit like "white people are being oppressed," there's just no future for a country like that. And frankly, no future is deserved. 
a

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Dumb Things I saw Online




Whaaaaaat?? The pretty actress is attractive in real life too?
Oh, I never would have guessed because in the first picture she's wearing glasses so I couldn't possibly tell that she's a pretty actress! Just like I can't recognize Superman when he puts on a pair of spectacles.Oh, Superman you're a master of disguise!

Dumb thing # 2:

There is a website called CNS News. I don't know what CNS stands for, Crazy Nutjob Sociopaths, maybe? But pretty much EVERYTHING on this site is dumb. Dumb, dunb, dumb, dumb, dumb. And sometimes oddensive. But mostly dumb. Here's an example:


Charles Manson – The Penultimate Expression of the Progressive Worldview

Alex McFarland
By Alex McFarland | November 27, 2017 | 11:23 AM EST



Does Alex McFarland know what the word "penultimate" means?
He does not.
But that may be the least dumb part of this article.

He starts out by talking about how scary and evil Charles Manson was (low hanging fruit) concluding with this bold assessment:

 Manson’s documented history, the threatening, rambling interviews he would occasionally grant journalists, plus his immeasurably sinister demeanor all led to one conclusion: This guy is evil personified.

Ooh, going out on a limb there, Alex!

Then we get to the heart of the matter:

 

Manson’s life and legacy: Progressives should be proud
In recent years the country has grown less moral, less religious and less civilized. Traditional marriage is down, the institution itself has been redefined by the courts, belief in objective ethical boundaries is scorned in many classrooms, and there are more terror attacks and shootings than we can mentally—or emotionally—process. The country is less safe, less stable, and less … American.



Okay, for starters, America is a nation built on the twin horrors of slavery and genocide. Stability and safety are NOT quintessentially American qualities. The history of America is war violence and bloodshed.

And whose fault is it that there are more shootings than we can process? The NRA? The Republicans who do their bidding? A culture that fetishizes guns? Haha, just kidding. Obviously it's Hillary's fault!



But this re-imagined, dystopian America is the hard-won prize given us by the ACLU, American Atheists, Hillary Clinton, Al Franken and the left.


Oh, and Al Franken too, of course -  because. . . um. . . I guess because he's been in the news lately?

I mean, clearly it is the fault of the left that moral values are on the decline. Obviously it was the left that put a thrice3-married, serial adulterizing, admitted sex offender in the White House. And we all know it's the left that is tying themselves into rhetorical knots to defend a candidate who spent his 30's molesting junior-high-school girls.



America as it stands today is the fruit of decades of effort by these voices, not to mention secularists in the media, Hollywood, and countless professors at public universities who encourage their students toward the noble life of warring for “social justice”—as they alone define it.


 Yes, fighting for social justice. Fighting for racial and gender equality, for an end to discrimination against LGBT people. You know who else shared those lofty goals? Charles Manson!

Wait, did he? I mean, I've never actually read Helter Skelter, but I'm fairly sure that Manson was not trying to promote any sort of social justice. He was more about manipulating young people in to acting out against people he felt had wronged him. He was really more into getting vulnerable youth to commit violence towards people against whom he nursed a grudge. Damn, a few million dollars and a bad combover he could be Trump!

Also, if you're going to make the totally reasonable claim that terrorist attacks and mass shootings are the result of college professors agitating for justice, you might want to back that up with . . . I don't know, something? Anything? I mean, I get what you're saying. I get that neo-nazis running down an innocent woman with a car is the fault of Hollywood and state colleges, but for the lefty-looseys who sometimes read this blog, maybe some sort of evidence might be needed?



Think of how Charles Manson could rightly be seen as the penultimate expression of the progressive’s worldview







Think of how Charles Manson could rightly be seen as the penultimate expression of the progressive’s worldview: He was his own God. In fact, he sometimes claimed to be God.



Right. Good point. Just like every progressive from FDR to Bernie Sanders has claimed to be God. Oh, wait. I'm thinking of Jim Jones and David Koresh! Sorry!



Manson rejected organized religion, claiming he was both Jesus Christ and/or the Messiah. When he did quote the Bible, Manson misquoted it, twisted the words, and handled it selectively and self-servingly.



http://25.media.tumblr.com/befe49682baf40ae5c96fcf68c21cf35/tumblr_n3d24aq2xe1tw1vhco1_500.gif

Really? Misquoted Scripture? Handled it selectively and self-servingly? Twisted the Words?
You mean like, for instance, using scripture to justify a 34-year-old man molesting a 14-year-old girl? Or using vague references to "sexual immorality" to determine that God condemns the gays?
That kind of selective twisting? Oh yeah, that just totally screams "progressives!"


Manson bragged he could start wars, purge and remake the culture, and preside over a world-wide reckoning.

Hmm, sounds a lot like someone we all know. . .


 https://d1b2zzpxewkr9z.cloudfront.net/user_images/cf93019ff1e31fa74c69507beae2cffdc68d48a6/687474703a2f2f6573712e682d63646e2e636f2f6173736574732f31362f32352f373638783338342f67616c6c6572792d313436363532303335342d7472756d702d6861742d322e6a7067

Someone who claims he can Make a nation Great again, can re-order the world so that his nation is atop the heap. Someone who casually tosses off threats to annihilate other nations entirely. Hmm, who could that progressive leader be?


Anyway, this post was going to be a lot longer, there were going to be more dumb things, but this article is so goddamm stupid that it broke my brain.


Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Annual Black Friday Rant



(yes, it's a re-run)

About this time each year, the FOX crowd starts trotting out their "War on Christmas" bs machine.


https://max-media.imgix.net/transfers/2015/11/12/66e2223e4402ea7d330fb91f59c6949b2a75a536.gif

 Oh, they will fight to the death to defend Christmas from the imagined "attacks" it faces from people who, um. . . are willing to acknowledge that some people celebrate other holidays?

https://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2m77x3h6l1qc8jh0o8_250.gif

Or folks who want to maintain the separation of Church and State?
Oh no,  wait, I mean INFIDELS!!!! AMERICA-HATING INFIDELS!!!!!


And every Spring they pretend there's a "War on Easter" to be fought.

http://static01.mediaite.com/med/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/hannity_war_on_easter.jpg


Heck, they've even discovered a "War on Halloween"


http://cloudfront.mediamatters.org/static/images/item/fox_halloween.jpg


Even though the only people who tend to object to Halloween are evangelical Christians who object to the holiday's pagan roots and scary "occultic" overtones. In other words, FOX news viewers.

But what about Thanksgiving?

Because Thanksgiving is actually under attack by the obscene spectacle known as "Black Friday." People are actually having their Thanksgivings taken away from them by stores who now not only insist that their employees be at work before the crack of dawn the day after, but now don't even close for Thanksgiving itself.

Where is the outrage on the right?

Why does the "pro-family" crowd raise no objection to people being deprived of family time in the service of feeding America's frenzy of acquisitiveness and materialism?

What's a bigger affront to holiday tradition, a cashier wishing you "Happy Holidays" or having a Thanksgiving that goes like this:  "Gee, Grandma, everything smells so good, you've really outdone yourself this year. . . well, got to go sell some cheap electronics or I'll be unemployed. See you at Christmas hopefully!"

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/2900000/Norman-Rockwell-Thanksgiving-thanksgiving-2927689-375-479.jpg

Well, time for me to go.  Those remote control drones aren't going to sell themselves!



Every year it gets worse and worse. The entire concept of "Black Friday" is grotesque enough to begin with. Once the term "Black Friday" went from being backroom retailer jargon to part of the everyday lexicon of normal people, we lost a part of our national soul. Once flyers began proudly announcing "Black Friday Sales!" we as a society should have stood up and said "No! We will not create a holiday based on celebrating your corporate profitability!" But we didn't. We allowed this indignity to infect our culture and it quickly spread like a cancer.

First it spread to Midnight of Thanksgiving day. Which of course meant that store employees were forced to leave their families by 10 or 11 that evening.

Then the stores began opening earlier and earlier Thursday evening until they got to the point where many stay open the entire holiday. As if it were just another day to make sales.

So where are the FOX News special reports on the "War on Thanksgiving?" Why does the one holiday that is actually under attack not see the same umbrage raised  as those holidays whose attacks are pure fiction?

Could it be because this war is being waged by large powerful corporations in the interest of increased profits? Instead of by "secular humanists" or whichever right-wing bogeymen are launching the imaginary wars on other holidays? Nah. . . couldn't be.



Monday, November 20, 2017

What it takes to make a sane person (me) side with a mango-hued shitgibbon

How did this happen?
How do I find myself on the same side as Il Douche?
How is it that there is a conflict between President Cartman and another person and I'm thinking that the other person is in the wrong?

I mean, the only way that could possibly happen is if that other person is an even bigger jackass than Cheeto Mussolini.
That could mean only one thing.


This guy is involved:

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/m6IX1KlJKH1tGcD_UH8irUXBVCw=/0x0:3008x4304/1200x800/filters:focal(1376x928:1856x1408)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/53693117/usa_today_9918098.0.jpg

Yes, the braying jackass who is the latest person to have a Twitter feud with Dolt 45 is the preposterous Lavar Ball.

If you're not a basketball fan, this is who Lavar Ball is:

He is the father of a fairly talented NBA rookie named Lonzo Ball. A rookie who would be otherwise unremarkable had not his extravagantly ridiculous boob of a father not repeatedly made a spectacle of himself by publicly excoriating his son's collegiate coaches for not realizing the god-like prodigiousness of his son's basketball abilities and for allowing players other than Lonzo to sometimes touch the ball or even take a shot now and then.

And Lavar has famously said things like this about his son:

“I’ll tell you right now, he’s better than Steph Curry"

Forthe non-basketball fans, Steph Curry is the two-time NBA Most Valuable Player who has led his team to the last 3 NBA championships, winning 2 of the three.

https://media.giphy.com/media/M2LV4DYFIloFW/giphy.gif


 He is also considered by many to be the greatest shooter in NBA history.


https://media.giphy.com/media/zB7BvdYmNyPeg/giphy.gif
 And the father of this little bundle of squeeee!



 But Lavar Ball said this about his son while he was a freshman at UCLA. No pressure, kid!

“To me ‘Zo is the best player in the world. … I don’t know if he can beat (LeBron James and Russell Westbrook) one on one, but I know he can beat them 5 on 5.”


Again, for the uninitiated, James and Westbrook are two of the best players of this or any era, both are sure bets to be voted into the Hall of Fame.
https://media.giphy.com/media/hrqKeM3G0UB2M/giphy.gifhttps://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/russell-westbrook-thunderous-slam-a.gif?w=1000

But, sure, his son is obviously better than either of these two guys, right?


Lonzo Ball can't make a shot. How much should Lakers fans be worried?



Ball is off to the coldest start in NBA history. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bust.

by
Ooooh, ouch!



Of course, I'm not sure we should really expect expert analysis from a man who made this claim:

“Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one.”

despite never having played in the NBA and averaging an entire TWO POINTS per game in college.

And that is really just the tip of the iceberg for this half-witted nincompoop who never saw a camera or microphone he couldn't get in front of. If you want a chuckle, you can read a few more of his quotable quotes here:
https://www.cbssports.com/nba/photos/ranking-lavar-balls-most-outrageous-quotes/2/


Anyway, that's the guy who's got Twitter beef with Orange Julius Caesar. And for the first time probably ever, someone is going up against tRump and is actually the guy in the wrong.

A little background. Ball's other son and two of his UCLA teammates were arrested for shoplifting at a mall in China. They were facing up to 10 years in Chinese prison. Hair Furor made a call to the Chinese government and got them released. End of story, right? Well, you'd think so. But then I saw this on Twitter.



Which is really beneath the dignity of the office, but we're pretty much used to that. I mean, really it's so pathetically needy, so desperate for validation, but he does have a point. (God damn, I never thought I'd say that) these three young men really should thank the guy who saved their asses from Chinese prison. And thank him they did,at a press conference later that day.

"To President Trump and the United States government, thank you for taking the time to intervene on our behalf," he added. "We really appreciate you helping us out." (http://edition.cnn.com/2017/11/15/sport/ucla-basketball-players-statements/index.html)

And that was that.
End of story, and everyone lives happily ever after.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/549/323/9c7.png



No, of course not, because we are dealing with the two biggest jackasses in America here.
So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see this Tweet:


Seriously? Ball is being a dick about this?

"Who?" Ball told ESPN when asked about Trump's role in the situation. "What was he over there for? Don't tell me nothing. Everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out."

https://m.popkey.co/41868f/Y0NoV.gif

Really? I mean, look, I hate the guy too, but he did get your son out of prison.
I mean, if Charles Manson somehow got my son out of prison I'd be all like "thank you, Mr. Manson. thank you very much, Mr. Manson," and then I'd go right back to thinking he's a bag of scum. (update: a dead bag of scum)


“As long as my boy’s back here, I’m fine,” Ball told ESPN. “I’m happy with how things were handled. A lot of people like to say a lot of things that they thought happened over there. Like I told him, ‘They try to make a big deal out of nothing sometimes.’ I’m from L.A. I’ve seen a lot worse things happen than a guy taking some glasses.


What the?
How is that the point?
Whether taking glasses is a "big deal" or not, your son was ARRESTED for it, your son was facing JAIL TIME for it. Whether you think that jail time was warranted is absolutely not relevant  at all.




“Did he go visit them in jail?” Ball asked. “Did you go visit them in jail? If you went to visit them in jail then I would say, ‘Thank you.’”


Did he visit them?!?! Did he visit them?!?!

The man is the President of the United States







Sorry. That's hard for me to say, but it's true Donald "grab 'em by the p***sy" Trump is the President of the United States of America

https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-25-2015/XI9HAh.gif


You think the President should have taken time out of his busy schedule of embarrassing our nation on a world stage to go visit some shoplifters in jail? Who the fuck do you think you are? You think your stupid shoplifting son is so important that visiting his dumb thieving ass in jail should be some sort of priority for the President of the United States?

https://images.rapgenius.com/bf39fe839ac0c9eae6cdd312868f7788.500x209x16.gif

God damn it Ball, look what you've made me do!
You've got me siding with the Orange Menace!
You're in a beef with the giant toddler and I'M ON HIS SIDE.

https://i.imgur.com/dtT8YhI.gif



Thursday, November 16, 2017

Defenses of Roy Moore

People have really been coming up with lots of creative ways to defend utter scumbag Roy Moore against charges that he assaulted a 14-year-old girl and was constantly hitting on other high school girls when he was in his thirties.


There's the Biblical defense.


Alabama state official defends Roy Moore, citing Joseph and Mary: ‘They became parents of Jesus’

Actually, if you knew the first thing about the Gospel, you'd know that Joseph was NOT the father of Jesus.

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/28606947/you-are-not-the-father.jpg

He was Jesus' stepfather. If you're gonna be a Bible-thumper, you at least should have that basic bit of knowledge about the book you're thumping.

Also, yes. It was common for teen girls to be married off to grown men back in Bible times. Since women were seen mainly as fetus incubators, you wanted to marry one with as many fertile years left as possible. And since the husband's main responsibility was to provide monetarily, you would want to marry a man who had established himself in his career . No one wants to marry a broke-ass apprentice/
At any rate, what went on in the First Century is probably not really relevant to today's world. But nice try, though.


Oh, wait. there's more Bible defense?

“Take the Bible. Zachariah and Elizabeth for instance. Zachariah was extremely old to marry Elizabeth and they became the parents of John the Baptist,” Ziegler said

Okay, I don't know where you're getting that idea. As far as I can find, the story of Elizabeth and Zechariah only appears in the Book of Luke (as well as some non-canonical books) Here is what is said about their ages:

There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abia: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth. . .

And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years. . .

18 And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I know this? for I am an old man, and my wife well stricken in years.
So, that's it. They were both old. That's all the information we have as to their ages. Nowhere does it say "and then Zacharias said unto the Lord 'I am an old man, but check out my hot, young wife!'"

Anyway, there are bound to be better defenses than the Bible.

There's the "well, in some countries. . ." defense.




And the lawyer also used the "hey, my wife was only 21 when we started dating" defense.


There's the "technically, this wasn't illegal" defense.


Breitbart editor: The '16-year-old and the 18-year-old have no business' in Roy Moore sexual misconduct story

“The 16-year-old and the 18-year-old have no business in that story because those are women of legal age of consent,” Breitbart editor-at-large Joel Pollak said on MSNBC.

Yes, thanks to Alabama's super-creepy age of consent laws, a 16-year-old girl was technically a legal adult. And we all know that as long as something is not illegal, it's not immoral enough to warrant a removal from office. I mean, it's not like he had a consensual affair with a 21-year-old intern, am I right? Now THAT's an impeachable offense!

Also, not to quibble, but whether a 16-year-old girl is "legal" or not, it is still sexual assault to do what she says Moore did.


Nelson said Moore groped her and tried to force her head onto his crotch. Nelson says she yelled and tried to leave the car, but Moore locked the door. "I was not going to allow him to force me to have sex with him," Nelson said. "I was terrified. I thought he was going to rape me.


If she was 16 or 26 or 106, that is a crime. That is a sexual assault. That should earn you jail time, not a Senate seat.

Aslo, you say the 16 and 18-year-olds were "legal." What about the 14-year-old?
And "shut up, that's what" is not a good enough answer.


Oh, and then Pollak pivots to the "I don't understand what words mean" defense:

“If this story is true, and I think that any story about sexual misconduct, especially with someone who is underage, is very serious — why would the Washington Post wrap it with all kinds of perfectly legitimate relationships as well as all kinds of other political clutter?” Pollak asked. “You said yourself at the start of the segment that he’s being accused of relationships with teenagers. Now, to me, that’s not accurate."

Yes, totally inaccurate to refer to "teenagers" when the girls you're talking about are sixTEEN, sevenTEEN, and eighTEEN  years old.



Of course, there's the tried-and-true Blame The Victim defense. Hey, it's a classic for a reason, right?

The original Tweet has been taken down, but some asshat named Jim Jennings (@jjenningsusa) Tweeted this gem:

"Some 14 year old girls are IMPOSSIBLY flirtatious and sophisticated."


A different twist on the victim-blaming defense comes from GOP County Chairman Riley Seiberhener:

 — Daniel Dale (@ddale8) November 10, 2017


 14-year-olds don't make good decisions. Like it would have been a much smarter decision to have NOT been molested by a 32-year-old attorney.
Also, the 32-year-old lawyer could have decided to NOT engage in sexual activity with a high school freshman, but I guess no one expects him to make good decisions.


And taking victim-blaming one step further into the sewer, Alabama State Rep. Ed Henry goes with  "threatening to prosecute the victims"

“If they believe this man is predatory, they are guilty of allowing him to exist for 40 years. I think someone should prosecute and go after them. You can’t be a victim 40 years later, in my opinion,” Henry said.


See, it's the girls' fault for letting the grown man get away with it for all these years. Oh, it's so simple! I see it all now! Obviously, we can't expect a young district attorney of 32 to be responsible for his own actions. It's the powerless high school girls who have the responsibility to take him down.  Because obviously everyone would have totally believed them and not tried to put the blame on them, and. . . well not in 2017, obviously, but in the 1970's people were much more "woke" about these things.

Anyway, there are the usual "she's lying" defenses.Along with the  "oh, and so is she. And her. Yep, her too!"
There's the "but it was so long ago" defense.
There's the "political witch hunt" defense.
All the usual bullshit. I can't even look at any more of this.


Judge Moore -
You're guilty.
You know you're guilty.
Just drop out of the race. Stop lying and stop letting/encouraging other people to lie on your behalf. You're old, just retire. Just go away.
You're guilty.
Have some sense of shame.








Monday, November 13, 2017

Go to Hell, John Grisham

TW: discussion of child sex abuse



Okay, what the fuck is this?


Millionaire Author John Grisham Says Not All Men Who Watch Child Porn Are Pedophiles


https://m.popkey.co/04887f/jgOAY_f-maxage-0.gif



Like, this can't be a real thing, can it?

It can't possibly have come from a legitimate source, can it?






Ooooookay, then. . .

Let's have a look then. At the Forbes article! Did I really need to clarify that?


Crime writer John Grisham has said America is unjustly jailing too many citizens for viewing child pornography. In an interview with The Telegraph, Grisham, . . .attacked the widespread incarceration of those who watch child porn.


Ah. This sounds like someone trying to get out ahead of something. This is like if Roy Moore had come out last week and said "apropos of nothing, don't we all agree that 14-year-old girls are basically full-grown women? Right, guys? Anyone?"


"We have prisons now filled with guys my age. Sixty-year-old white men in prison who've never harmed anybody, would never touch a child," 

Okay. . . first of all, why are they all white guys? And middle aged? Do you think there's some quota system like you're gonna get arrested for child porn and the judge is gonna say "aw, hell we're already at our limit for 60-year-old white guys. You're free to go, Mr. Grisham!"

 Secondly, have you ever seen a prison? Ever watch an episode of Lockup? Because if you think that we have prisons full of 60-year-oldwhite guys, I'd like some of whatever you've been smoking.

Also, what percentage of the prison population do you think is behind bars for child pornography? I gotta think that's a pretty small demographic after drug traffickers, drug dealers, drug users, and guys who were walking while black.


"We have prisons now filled with guys my age. Sixty-year-old white men in prison who've never harmed anybody, would never touch a child. But they got online one night and started surfing around, probably had too much to drink or whatever, and pushed the wrong buttons, went too far and got into child porn."

http://25.media.tumblr.com/befe49682baf40ae5c96fcf68c21cf35/tumblr_n3d24aq2xe1tw1vhco1_500.gif

 Oh my God that is NOT how things work. These guys aren't Barry Crimmins in AOL chatrooms. (https://groups.google.com/forum/#!topic/comp.org.eff.talk/Ms_HARTeQSM)

 No one is accidentally stumbling on to child porn. And, okay, let's say someone does. Let's say someone clicks one link too many and suddenly the next dirty movie clip they see involves a child. Anyone with an ounce of humanity is going to click the exit button so hard they'll break their mouse before thinking, "fuck, I gotta call the FBI." No one accidentally stumbles onto pictures or videos of child rape and goes "well, in for a penny, in for a pound!" and just keeps watching and then gets arrested and unjustly ends up in prison. Any halfway-decent person who stumbled onto this sick shit would be so repulsed they'd probably never dare to search for normal porn again. You'd be traumatized if you saw this shit.

By the way, because this is Forbes, the article is formatted like this:

"But they got online one night and started surfing around, probably had too much to drink or whatever, and pushed the wrong buttons, went too far and got into child porn."
Grisham, who is well known for legal thrillers such as A Time to Kill and The Firm, has sold more than 275 million copies since his 1989 debut. Grisham first joined Forbes' top-earning author ranking in 2000, with a $36 million annual paycheck. He has made an estimated $200 million before taxes and fees in the last 14 years.

They can't go more than one paragraph without mentioning Grisham's wealth as if it's somehow relevant. A bit off-topic, I know, but it's just weird and in the context of an article about horrifying child abuse, pretty disturbing.


"I have no sympathy for real pedophiles,” he said, speaking to The Telegraph from his office in Charlottesville, Virginia. "God, please lock those people up. But so many of these guys do not deserve harsh prison sentences, and that's what they're getting."


Okay, but do you seriously think that anyone who is NOT a pedophile is watching child pornography? Do you think that the term "pedophile" only applies to the guy doing the actual abuse, not the guys getting off watching it? And you do know that the guys who watch it are the ones financing the operation, right? If there are no customers, the operation, well I was going to say it shuts down, but that's not really true because I assume a lot of these guys make this filth because they really like making it. But there would have to be a lot less of this shit if no one was paying for it. And I don't believe anyone is seeing this without paying for it. I would guess you'd have to have a password or a secret code or something. No one's just going to take out Google ads that say "click here to watch the most horrific crime imaginable! Free trial!"


"There's so many 'sex offenders' - that's what they're called - that they put them in the same prison. Like they're a bunch of perverts... We've gone nuts with this incarceration," he added, citing an anecdote of a law-school pal who he says accidentally viewed porn that was apparently incorrectly labelled as child porn.


Okay, Thaaaat  did not happen. That might be what your friend TOLD you happened, but that is not what happened. You don't get arrested for viewing adults engaging in pornography because it somehow accidentally got the wrong label put on it. It's like a kid can't get arrested for underage drinking if the soda company left the word "root" off of the root beer label. It'a either alcohol or it isn't. It's either an adult having sex on camera or a child being raped. There isn't any middle ground here.

In a statement, Grisham apologized and said he regretted his comments, explaining: "Anyone who harms a child for profit or pleasure, or who in any way participates in child pornography—online or otherwise—should be punished to the fullest extent of the law."
"My comments made two days ago during an interview with the British newspaper The Telegraph were in no way intended to show sympathy for those convicted of sex crimes, especially the sexual molestation of children. I can think of nothing more despicable."


Oh, please.
Your comments in defense of sex offenders were not meant to be sympathetic towards sex offenders?

 Go to Hell, John Grisham!



Wednesday, November 8, 2017

More people who should have remained silent.


Person number 1: This guy:







https://fthmb.tqn.com/ZADr-LW-mOcUw3JdFH0hIBrDMAI=/768x0/filters:no_upscale()/facepalmbear-5804f2af3df78cbc28913ff7.PNG

Oh, for the love of . . . this is why we can't have nice things.





Del Signore is by his own admission not a person who’s focused on policy specifics.


Whaaaaat? A Trump supporter who isn't up on policy specifics? Say it ain't so!


Del Signore is by his own admission not a person who’s focused on policy specifics. A short, stout genial man who wears gold chains around his neck and rings on both pinkies,


Because it's important to him to look as much as possible like an ethnic stereotype.


Joey Del Signore still loves Trump. “Everybody I talk to,” he says, “realizes it’s not Trump who’s dragging his feet.” | Scott Goldsmith for Politico Magazine
Oh, it's not working. He looks more like William Conrad!








Everybody I talk to,” he said, “realizes it’s not Trump who’s dragging his feet. Trump’s probably the most diligent, hardest-working president we’ve ever had in our lifetimes.
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-12/8/18/enhanced/webdr09/anigif_enhanced-13235-1449615617-7.gif 



Oh my God, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Mr. Golf-Every-Weekend? Oh, yeah, he's the James Brown of presidenting!I mean, my God when you think of all the effort that goes into the shit-Tweeting alone!



It’s not like he sleeps in till noon and goes golfing every weekend, like the last president did.”




https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/cute-angry-animals-unhappy-upset-annoyed-20.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600 
The fuck you just say? 

Where the fuck would you even get that? Other than just going "well, one's white and one's black, so the lazy one must be the black guy, right?"



I stopped him, informing him that, yes, Barack Obama liked to golf, but Trump in fact does golf a lot, too—more, in fact.
Del Signore was surprised to hear this.
“Does he?” he said.
“Yes,” I said.
He did not linger on this topic, smiling and changing the subject with a quip. “If I was married to his wife,” Del Signore said, “I don’t think I’d go anywhere.”




https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/galleries/x701/73875.jpg

REALLY? You really just had no idea that the guy who's on the golf course every Friday thru Sunday, the guy who owns golf courses all over the world, iyou just had no idae that THAT guy might enjoy golf? Seriously?

And it's telling how as soon as the golf talk stops fitting into your preconceived narrative about who is and isn't lazy, the subject is glibly changed and the golf is just no longer of interest.

And as for the whole "if i was married to his wife. . ." thing. First of all, if you were married to a woman who despises you and is can't wait for you to finally die so she can inherit your money, you'd probably not want to spend so much time with her. Although you'd probably be enough of a decent human being to spend at least some time with your juvenile son, but that's because you're a better person than Cheeto Mussolini. And she is quite right to despise this despicable shit-goblin.



He added: “Some of these things are like that thing he said to Billy, Billy Bob, Billy Bud”—searching, unsuccessfully, for the name Billy Bush—“on the bus, that comment he made.” Del Signore shrugged. “He’s a human male. I’m glad he wasn’t saying, ‘Hey, I like little boys.’ You know? So he’s not perfect.”





https://saboteur365.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/manson-1.jpg

Hey, he's not so bad. I mean, he's not a pederast!


 So where would he be getting so misinformed? Hmm, I wonder. . . .



Del Signore said he’s been following politics far more than before because of Trump. Trump, he said, is just “more interesting.” So now he likes watching the news. “Ninety-nine percent of the time I watch Fox,” he said. “Sometimes I’ll be sitting there listening to all this Fox stuff, and I’ll say, ‘Maybe they aren’t right, maybe I’ll flip to CNN’—but every time I’ve found that Fox has been correct, and CNN is definitely fake news.”

I hear all this bullshit that feeds into my pre-existing prejudices and then I think maybe I should check another source, so I flip to CNN and they say something that doesn't feed my bigoted preconceptions, so ipso facto FOX is real and the other is fake.


Person number two: This lady.

JOHNSTOWN, Pa.—Pam Schilling is the reason Donald Trump is the president. . .
 She once had a union job packing meat at a grocery store, and then had to settle for less money at Walmart. Now she’s 60 and retired, and last year, in April, as Trump’s shocking political ascent became impossible to ignore, Schilling’s 32-year-old son died of a heroin overdose. She found needles in the pockets of the clothes he wore to work in the mines before he got laid off.

Desperate for change, Schilling, like so many other once reliable Democrats in these parts, responded enthusiastically to what Trump was saying—building a wall on the Mexican border, repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act, bringing back jobs in steel and coal.

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/61/35/57/6135574a4e13d051e8e7479591326fa5.jpg

Right, because it was totally the Mexican Immigrants who busted the unions, brought Wal-Mart to town, and shut down the coal mines. Well, the Mexicans and Medicare expansion. That's a lethal combination!



A year later, the local unemployment rate has ticked down, and activity in a few coal mines has ticked up. Beyond that, though, not much has changed—at least not for the better. Johnstown and the surrounding region are struggling in the same ways and for the same reasons. The drug problem is just as bad. “There’s nothing good in the area,” Schilling said the other day in her living room. “I don’t have anything good to say about anything in this area. It’s sad.”



Well, it's too little too late, but at least she realized her mistake and. . . wait, there's more?



“I don’t have anything good to say about anything in this area. It’s sad.” Even so, her backing for Trump is utterly undiminished: “I’m a supporter of him, 100 percent.”


https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/terminal01/2011/6/15/14/enhanced-buzz-5555-1308162939-14.jpg

Why? Seriously, why?



“I think he’s doing a great job, and I just wish the hell they’d leave him alone and let him do it,” Schilling said. “He shouldn’t have to take any shit from anybody.”




 http://i.imgur.com/uTbYEzB.jpg

 Right. . . because that's totally how a democracy works. Everyone just shuts the fuck up and lets the president do whatever he wants to do and he does NOT have to put up with any of your stupid criticism! How dare you question the Dear Leader?



https://images.csmonitor.com/csmarchives/2009/09/article_photo1_155.jpg?alias=standard_600x400


Pictured: Good Americans leaving the President alone and letting him do his job 
and not giving him any shit.



Person number three: this business owner.


At Johnstown’s JWF Industries, a 450-employee manufacturing company, business hasn’t gone up this year, owner Bill Polacek told me, but he’s expecting a 30 percent jump next year. He chalks that up to Trump and his “pro-business” “mood.”



 https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d1/e4/6c/d1e46c716d3d80973421895ab1f8682f--corgi-dog-welsh-corgi.jpg

 Oh, his MOOD! Yes, of course, it's the MOOD that drives business.  Ask any economist, it's all about what sort of mood the president is in.


https://memegenerator.net/img/images/600x600/17113167/eye-roll-owl.jpg 


And, you know, it's got to be one of them "pro-business" moods that are so rare among American Presidents. I mean, just look at the last guy what with his um, bailing out the car companies, and uh. . . TARP and, you know, all that "boo, down with business" stuff, right?

Also, everyone knows it takes a full year for the president's "mood" to take effect. First year: NO effect. Second year: 30 percent increase! Third year:  I don't know, but you know it's gotta be good.


https://i.pinimg.com/736x/be/15/b9/be15b94b0306e0d228718f6f98be00af--baby-animals-funny-animals.jpg





 But even this optimistic stance highlights some of the deep-seated troubles here. “Right now, if I could find 150 people, I’d put them to work,” Polacek said. He needs machinists. He needs welders. “But it’s hard to find people,” he said—people with the requisite skills, people who can pass a drug test.



But, but. . .the MOOD!





“We just don’t have the workforce,” said Liston, the city manager. “If they are employable, and have a skill set, basically they already moved out of the area.”


 Yeah, but. . . what about the MOOD? Don't underestimate the MOOD!



Polacek, a lifelong Johnstown resident and one of the city’s few remaining business titans, was a staunch supporter of Trump. He has been largely pleased with his performance as president so far, he said, but Polacek does wish Trump would try to be more bipartisan and more deliberative—and also that he and his administration would pay as much attention to Johnstown now as he did during the campaign.



https://memegenerator.net/img/images/600x600/15058392/animal-facepalm.jpg

Boy, I am so pleased with what the president's been doing so far. I just wish he would do the EXACT OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING HE'S BEEN DOING SO FAR!!!!!




“We’ve been trying to reach out to him to say, ‘Hey, remember us? We need help here,’” he told me. “That’s my only frustration. I’d just like to tell Trump, ‘Hello? We’re still here. We’re ready for you.’”



You know, if I did have one slight quibble with what the president is doing, I guess I'd say that I would prefer that he do SOMETHING to help us instead of doing NOTHING  to help us. Other than that, I just couldn't be more pleased with his performance!




For three decades, Johnstown had a powerful friend on Capitol Hill in Rep. Jack Murtha, who steered millions in pork-barrel money to his hometown from his seat on the House Appropriations Committee. But Murtha died in 2010, and earmarks have been banned. Now, the seat is held by a Republican backbencher named Keith Rothfus. “We have not had an influx of any federal money that has assisted us since January,” Liston said. Even just a part of the $1 trillion infrastructure package that Trump once talked about would help considerably, he added.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgid2kEFoW1qgfx66o1_500.jpg



You know, I just don't get it. We voted for all these Republicans, a party whose entire governing philosophy is "the government is not here to help you," and who think that federal spending is the unforgivable sin, yet somehow we aren't getting any monies from the federal government. We used to have a Democrat as our Congressman and we got lots of federal monies to help us with stuff. I just can't figure what happened!