This election gets even stupider somehow

You know how you can tell that you've said something stupid?
When this hot mess says you're "WISE."



Here's what word-salad Sarah had to say about Trump's performance in the most recent debate:

Sarah Palin added 5 new photos.

It was great to witness UNLV's Presidential debate tonight. Great running in to many friends!


Wow. Gotta stop you already. One sentence in! You ran INTO many friends. You did not run IN to many friends. That wouldn't even make sense. Well, I guess if you ran inside the building in order to meet your friends, then maybe? I don't know. Ir doesn't matter. Proceed, Governor.


Trump ran the table and clearly explained his vision for making America safe and strong again.

Ran the table? Do you even know what that means? It would mean that Hillary never even got a shot. It would mean. . . oh, forget it. The bigger problem here is that Trump has NEVER clearly explained anything in his life. He makes you sound coherent.

What a gamble it would be to vote for status quo failed government... more of the same of what dug us into the mess we're in today.


 Okay, so let's vote out the Teapublicans that have dominated the House and Senate the last several years and are gleefully preventing anything from being improved.


 Thank you to superb law enforcement personnel for keeping everyone safe tonight. Incredible job; incredibly tough task they accomplish - with a smile, no less!

 A smile? Oh, right, everyone there was white! Also, what threat was there to your safety? If you were a Hiullary supporter, you might have to fear some violence from Trumpers, but other than that. . . I mean the debate wasn't being held on a street corner in Southside Chicago or something.

Seems silly media sheep are all chomping down on one issue after this debate, at least according to all the reporters who hollered out this same question to me: "What about Trump not accepting the election results?”


 Right, because a major candidate being unwilling to "accept" the results of an election, a major candidate who commands an army of knuckle-draggers with assault weapons who are just itching for an excuse to 2nd-Amendment someone, that's such a minor issue! Silly sheep!

More power to Trump for explaining how vitally important the legitimacy of every election is to our democracy within our Republic. 

Um, he explained nothing? He said "I'll keep you in suspense?"
Also, if the losing candidate (and Trump is going to lose. Hard.) refuses to accept the results of the voting, that's not really adding to the legitimacy of the electoral process.

 

What reasonable person would preemptively accept any and all hypothetical questions and conditions of any hypothetical election? Trump's answer was RIGHT.


See, that's how you know you're wrong. When someone like Palin thinks you're "RIGHT!"
And I don't believe he was asked to accept "any and all hypothetical questions and conditions of any hypothetical election." I believe he was asked about this one particular election which is about a month away and isn't hypothetical at all. And no one expects that if a candidate is sane and says "yes, I will accept the results" that he would then be somehow bound to that word if, say, there was actual evidence of fraud, or if , say both candidates are revealed to be hideous space reptiles or whatever.

Every American's sacred vote MUST be respected and legitimized in today's elections - but they must be FAIR elections.


 Yeah, that's the same thing. Everyone's vote being respected and elections being fair, that's the same thing. (Not actually sure what everyone's vote being "legitimized" is.)


Also, if you're really concerned about every American's sacred vote being respected, I'd think you'd be a bit more bothered by these recent headlines:

BREAKING: State Level Republicans BUSTED Hiding Absentee Ballots To Steal Election (DETAILS)

By Georgia Bristow -

October 17, 2016

District Judge Assails Florida GOP’s “Election-Rigging” War on Voting

By Rmuse on Wed, Oct 19th, 2016 at 9:57 am

 hahaha, just kidding! I know you don't really care about that! I know you think that it is better that a thousand legitimate voters be disenfranchised than that one ineligible vote be cast. As long as it's dark-skinned people being turned away at the polls.
I know it's never about protecting the right to vote. It's always about keeping the mythical fraudulent voter from somehow tipping the balance with his one illegal vote.

We're in the midst of proof of voter fraud and questionable - even violent - participatory elements in campaigns.


No. No, there is no voter fraud.  there certainly isn't any "proof" of which we could be "in the midst." How would one be in the midst of proof, by the way?
Also, the only violent elements in the process are Trump supporters.

That's why state legislators are now cracking down on voter fraud via tighter laws ensuring the security of our elections. 

Yeah, no. Honestly, it's not even worth the time to debunk this complete b.s.

 When Trump is pressed on this, it harkens back to all the GOP primary candidates who screamed at Trump to support the Republican nominee - no matter what - and Trump initially responded that he could, depending on fair treatment. That is WISE and INSIGHTFUL!



And as we all know, when Sarah Palin says you're WISE! and INSIGHTFUL! you know you've said something extra stupid.

Also, why wouldn't he just use that same "wise" "insightful" answer at the debate? Why not just say "yes, of course I will accept the results, assuming there isn't compelling evidence of fraud?"

Trump got screwed in that deal when he eventually pledged to support the nominee and then some of his fellow candidates turned tail and refused to reciprocate when Trump won. 

Whaaat?? The man who knows how to make the best deals? The king of the deal-makers? He got screwed on this deal? No! I don't believe it.



Trump learned - why give opponents permission and incentive to act unfairly and cheat? It's shortsighted to commit to accepting the outcome of a race REGARDLESS of unscrupulous cheaters. How totally unfair that would be to the American voter!

Well, the good news is, you're not going to have to worry about it. Hillary and the Dems are not going to need to cheat. Your boy is circling the drain. He's in such a downward spiral, he might pop up in Chyyy-nah before it's over.


Trump gave potential cheaters fair warning that we'll not give them any quarter. We'll hold them accountable. They'd better be on their toes. Cheaters will not win.

Oh, uh. . .yeah! Right! heh heh!

Of course Trump will accept the legitimate outcome of a legitimate election! What the heck is so hard to understand about that?


Um, I guess the part where he refuses to actually just come out and say that? I guess that's kinda what's throwing people off? Especially when he comes out the next day and says

“I would to promise and pledge to all of my voters and supporters, and to all of the people of the United States that I will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election — if I win,”

See? Nothing about "legitimate" outcomes. Nothing about legitimacy at all. Just "If I win." And, Sarah, believe me when I tell you that if he does win, that would be proof positive that the election was "rigged."

Who can say the stupidest thing about Donald Trump?

Ordinarily, when we have a "who's stupider?" post here at the Daily Irritant, we do it in a game-show style competition. But why bother? No one's going to out-stupid Palin!

First on CNN: Palin calls both McCain and Trump heroes

By Jake Tapper, CNN Anchor and Chief Washington Correspondent

Why, yes. Yes she is!

Washington (CNN)Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona

Wait, let me stop you right there. Who the fuck is asking Palin about anything? C'mon, CNN, you're you used to be better than that!

Asked about the dispute between Donald Trump and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona -- the candidate at the top of the ticket when she was 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee -- former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin Monday afternoon called both men heroes.

See, this is why there are no other contestants tonight. We're at sentence one and she's already at hall-of-fame levels of stupid.

"I have the good fortune of knowing both John McCain and Donald Trump well," Palin told CNN in an email.

Yeah, and at least one of them despises you.



Probably both, if they both really do know you well.

  "Sen. McCain dedicated his life to serving our country, and in my humble opinion the sacrifices made by all ethical service members are heroic -- putting it all on the line to defend freedom IS heroic -- and Donald Trump is a hero in another arena." 

I see. And, um. . . how do you figure?

 John McCain put his life on the line to defend, well not "freedom" exactly, but I guess the non-Communist government of South Vietnam? In service to his country. And Trump risked what, exactly in the service of what noble cause?

 

 Trump is the candidate giving voice to untold millions of fed-up Americans witnessing a purposeful destruction of our economy and the equal opportunity for success that made America exceptional,"

Yes, nothing says "equal opportunity for success" like a man whose success is in large part due to having been born wealthy.

"We're watching career politicians throw away our kids' future through bankrupting public budgets and ripping open our porous borders which, obvious to all us non-politicians, puts us at great risk."

 Um, couple things. . .

 

First, why would we need to rip open borders if they're already so porous? And who do you think is doing the ripping? (Never mind, I'm sure it's "Obama." The answer is always "Obama.")
Also, bankrupting public budgets? That's you guys. Your pathological need to cut taxes again and again is what bankrupts public budgets.

See, for instance:

Kansas revenues will fall $1 billion short of 2015 and 2016 expenses

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy

By BRAD COOPER
The Kansas City Star

TOPEKA--

Kansas will collect $1 billion less in revenue in 2015 and 2016 than its projected expenses following massive income tax cuts signed into law by Republican Gov. Sam Brownback.
The new revenue estimates released Monday revealed that Kansas would burn through about $380 million in reserves and still need to cut $280 million to balance its current budget for fiscal year 2015, which ends next June 30.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article3729756.html#storylink=cpy

Seeming to take issue with some of the language used by McCain in the past to describe attendees at Trump rallies and some of the Senate tea party members, Palin added, "Everywhere I go, hard-working patriotic Americans -- not 'crazies' or 'wacko birds' -- ask me to pass on to Mr. Trump encouragement to keep educating the masses about true ramifications of illegal immigration, and in general the real state of our union."

Okay, that's just a lie. No one is asking you to pass along messages to Donald Trump. If they wanted to get a message to Trump, it's not that hard. Dude's always on Twitter. Usually making  Schoolyard taunts about someone's weight, but still. You can get a message to him whenever you like. I'm sure he's probably on Facebook and Snapchat and whatever social media rich people use that we aren't allowed to know about.


And even if someone didn't understand the interwebs or whatever, they aren't asking you to pass Trump a note in homeroom. 

The only two responses to meeting you in public are "Duh, hey Misstess Palin, kin I git yer autygraph?" or "Ew, ew, it's Palin! Ick, where's the Purell?"
 They certainly aren't saying "Say, Sarah, next time you talk to Mr. Trump, please pass along my words of encouragement to keep opening his fat yap and spewing out the kind of toxic nonsense that this country really needs."

So, anyway, to sum up:



 Hero.

     Assclown. 

              

 And that is why Sarah Palin is the winner of Who Can Say The Stupidest Thing About Donald Trump!

Bizarre videos

Presented without comment: enjoy the madness!




Okay, one comment. I'll have what she's having!

A Reminder to Republicans

Just a Reminder to any Republicans out there.

  This is your guy.

This is the face of your once-proud party:
 



This is what you've become. You are now the party of a guy who refers to the President of the United States as a "sub-human mongrel."

You are now the party of a man who waves around machine guns while threatening members of Congress.


Because this scumbag, this nasty, vile little shitbag, has been given the approval of your party again and again and again.


I don't know why he has suddenly become an issue, campaigning with Greg Abbot for Governor of Texas, but Nugent has had his ring kissed by the leading lights of the right for some time now.

Remember this?


Your standard-bearer in the last election went to Nugent to ask for his endorsement.
Did anyone in your party object?
  Did anyone even point out that it was, let's ay "unseemly" for a man who wants to be the President to associate himself with a man who threatened the life of the current one? A man who called the Secretary of State a "worthless bitch" and suggested she ride his machine gun out of town?


And of course, it's not just him.




Remember this once and future presidential candidate jamming with Uncle Ted, doing a song about fucking underage groupies?

 Family Values!









And did anyone in your party object when one of your asshole teabagging Congressmen invited this scumbag to the State of the Goddamm Union Address?  Did any of the leaders of your pathetic little party have the balls to stand up and say "no, Steve Stockamn, you can not invite this 'man' to the SOTU. You can not bring a man who has threatened the life of the President in to a room in which the President will be speaking, have some goddamm common decency!"

No, no one in your party mad a fucking peep.
And no one said a word when the Congressman called Nugent a Great American or Patriot or whatever the fuck he said about him. You were all fine with having this scumbag in the halls of Congress as long as it was a thumb in the eye of President Obama!

So, just a reminder of how things work.

You get the Nuge.












We get the Boss   














We get Janeane Garofalo


 You get Victoria Jackson


we get Matt Damon and Ben Affleck 




You get Jon Voigt, Frazier, and Cliff from Cheers.

 

 

We get Tina Fey, You get Sarah Palin

You're done. It's over. We win.

Least Self-Aware Person in the World

Guess who posted this?

“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Proverbs 10:4 

I came across this Scripture and wanted to pass it along.  I love it because it reminds me of my parents and the work ethic they instilled in all of us kids. If you want something, you go out and work for it.
No one owes you anything, and I’m embarrassed to be in a generation that doesn’t have that mindset.
Honest, hard work, is the only way to do it right. Don’t rely on anyone to provide for you.
The world doesn’t owe you anything!


Can you guess? Can you guess which advocate for the work ethic posted this?

  

Yep, Bristol Palin!

Bristol Palin, who I'm pretty sure has never done an honest day's work in her life, posted this scolding of America's youth for not being hard-working enough.

Irony is dead.

Roll this sentence around in your noggin for a second:

 I love it because it reminds me of my parents and the work ethic they instilled in all of us kids.

Really. Your parents?  YOUR parents?

Okay, I don't know much about your dad, but your mom instilled a work ethic in you? When was that? Was it while she was pissing off the McCain team by refusing to do the debate prep or do her homework before interviews, or learn anything?

Maybe it was when she quit her job halfway through for reasons that she never could make entirely clear.

Or maybe when she had FOX build a studio in her house so she could toss her word-salads without even having to drive down to the local affiliate.

And whatever work ethic your parents instilled in you, I'm not sure it really took. Because when have you ever done anything that could be described as "work?"

No one owes you anything, and I’m embarrassed to be in a generation that doesn’t have that mindset.

Honest, hard work, is the only way to do it right. Don’t rely on anyone to provide for you.

Yeah, honest, hard work! It's just disgusting how many of today's young people will just sit around expecting to be given reality TV shows just because they're related to someone famous!

Or how many kids just expect to be paid money to promote abstinence just because they're unwed teenage mothers!

Or how these darn kids today just think that they should be handed book deals just because their mothers give Bill Kristol a chubby.

 



Irony is dead and Bristol Palin just pissed on its corpse.


Oh, wait. I missed one!

I forgot that in that same speech, Palin also said this:

“If you lose that foundation, John Adams was implicitly warning us, then we will not follow our constitution, there will be no reason to follow our constitution because it is a moral and religious people who understand that there is something greater than self, we are to live selflessly, and we are to be held accountable by our creator, so that is what our constitution is based on, so those revisionists, those in the lamestream media, especially, who would want to ignore what our founders actually thought, felt and wrote about in our charters of liberty – well, that’s why I call them the lamestream media,” Palin said.

Really?

We are to live selflessly?

I'm not saying that's wrong, but. . . um, you do know that that flies directly in the face of the entire conservative philosophy, right?
I mean, Ayn Rand would spit in your eye for saying such a thing!

How many ways can Sarah Palin be Wrong in One Speech?

Every time I write anything about Sarah Palin I promise myself it will be the last time, that I'm just going to ignore her until she fades away into the dustbin of history, but I saw this excerpt a few days ago and it just stuck in my head like a bad song.

 Speaking about Thomas Jefferson, Palin said:

“He would recognize those who would want to try to ignore that Jesus is the reason for the season, those who would want to try to abort Christ from Christmas,” she said. “He would recognize that, for the most part, these are angry atheists armed with an attorney. They are not the majority of Americans.”…

“Why is it they get to claim some offense taken when they see a plastic Jewish family on somebody’s lawn – a nativity scene, that’s basically what it is right?” she said. “Oh, they take such offense, though. They say that it physically even can hurt them and mentally it distresses them so they sue, right?”

Wow! So many kinds of wrongness!  First of all. Why do people get to claim offense? Because of the First Amendment, genius! You know, in that Constitution you pretend to revere so.

Okay, that's not exactly wrong, just stunningly ignorant.  But your next line? Nobody has ever claimed to be offended by a nativity scene on someone's lawn. EVER. People are often offended by nativity scenes on GOVERNMENT property, because the government is not supposed to promote any religion. Not sure if you're lying or actually that stupid, but either way, WRONG!

 And when people do claim offense, they absolutely do not claim that a Nativity scene physically hurts them. Even you aren't stupid enough to not know that that's wrong.

Also wrong? The "plastic Jewish Family" line. Not that it's factually wrong, it's just wrong that you think you're being clever and you just are not. You really thought "I'll subtly imply that there's some anti-Semitic basis to people's objections to Nativity Scenes. . .Zing! Nailed 'em! Oh, Sarah, you've done it again, you rhetorical genius!" It's not clever. It's no more clever than you're "aborting Christ" line. You think if you imply that there's something violent about secularism, you're going to. . .what, exactly? What point do you think you're even making?

“But heaven forbid we claim any type of offense when we say, ‘Wait, you’re stripping Jesus from the reason, as the reason for the season,’ but heaven forbid we claim any type of offense,” Palin said. “So that double standard, I think Thomas Jefferson would certainly recognize it and stand up and he wouldn’t let anybody tell him to sit down and shut up.”

Thomas Jefferson?

This Thomas Jefferson?



The man who took a scalpel and excised any mention of the supernatural from his Bible?  You think that guy would be on your side in the imaginary Christmas Wars? Really? The man who said this:

 If you think that Thomas Jefferson would be upset about the secularization of Christmas, you are

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, you're stupid and a bad person.

Debt Ignorance

Dishonest ignoramus Sarah Palin has been getting a lot of shit lately for tossing this word-salad about the debt:

Our free stuff today is being paid for today by taking money from our children and borrowing from China. When that money comes due and, this isn’t racist, so try it, try it anyway, this isn’t racist, but it’s going to be like slavery when that note is due. Right? We are going to be beholden to a foreign master.

People were offended, and rightly so, for her invocation of slavery (for future reference, if you have to preface something with "this isn't racist," just don't say it.) but I was mostly struck by her profound ignorance of how debt works. It's fine to be ignorant about debt, but then you don't get to be passionate about it. I'm completely ignorant about chemistry, and I have no strong opinions on the subject tother than I maintain that meth is bad and I don't care who disagrees!

But I hear this line from the "fix the debt" types a lot lately, this "when the note comes due. . ." The note doesn't come due. The not e never comes due. It's like your mortgage or your car note, you have to keep making payments until it is finally paid off. It's not like you buy a house, take out a 30-year mortgage and then you sit around for 30 years until a guy from the bank shows up and says "okay, time to pay that 200 grand you owe."

There is never going to be a time when China or anyone else shows up at our front door saying "I demand that you pay me that trillion dollars today" and then we don't have the trillion dollars so a judge sentences us to be China's butler and hijinks ensue. (I've been watching Seinfeld re-runs)

Also, we do not need to fix the debt. It will need to be adressed eventually, like say, in the Bill Clinton administration, when we were running a surplus and  starting to pay it down and then George W. Bush completely undid all that progress because Republicans are the party of fiscal responsibility, yea!!! But you work on debt reduction during prosperous times, not during a recession. And yes, our debt is very large, but here's a little perspective:








Our debt to GDP ratio is in the same neighborhood as Germany which is the strong Eurozone economy, the one that has to bail everyone else out. And look at Japan! Their debt to GDP ratio is over twice as high as ours. Is anyone panicking over Japan's "debt problem?" (actually, I don't know, maybe they are.)

Anyway, I kind of lost track of my thread of thought. I guess my point is that just as those who thump the Bible the most seem the most ignorant of what Jesus actually said, those who are the most passionate about debt seem the most ignorant about it. Also, God do I hate Sarah Palin. What a fraud!

CPAC Crowd pretends Sarah Palin isn't a huge embarrassment

Sarah Palin was one of the stars of this year's CPAC, the only place in the world where she is considered relevant and Chris Christie is not. I don't know what the bulk of her speech was about, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it was about the Real America? But I did see this clip, in which she acts like a snotty 12-year-old boy to wild applause from the troglodytes.


First she does what any 12-year-old whose dad lets him have a gun would do, makes sure everyone knows she has it. "Hey, did I ever mention that me and Tahd have guns, 'cuz we totally do. I totally bought him a gun for Christmas. He totally bought me a gun rack for all the guns I have, you guys. I'm kind of a gun expert!"

Then she makes a juvenile dick and boob joke "he has the 'gun', you guys! Get it? 'gun?' But I have the 'rack!' Ha ha, you get it? 'rack?' Hmm? You know, 'rack?' like boobs?" Ugh! painful.

Then she acts like she's some kind of defiant rebel by sipping from a Big Gulp. In Washington, DC. Where there are ZERO restrictions on sizes of soda, so wow! You're really flaunting your bad-girl street cred, there. For the record, I agree that mayor Bloomberg's soda rule is a stupid rule. And it has already been tossed out by the courts. But you're not in New York. You're not exactly stickin' it to the man, there. It would be like me flying to Las Vegas and playing a slot machine and bragging about how I'm a total bad-ass because gambling is illegal in Georgia. Then I fly back to Atlanta and brag to everyone about how I broke the law and totally got away with it because I'm a rebel and I'll never be any good. I'm a rebel and I never ever do what I should!

But of course the mouth breathers in the CPAC audience erupt into wild ovations like she was Spartacus, brazenly defying the Imperial might of Caesar! Oh, my God, what a hero!



z

Sarah Palin Pretends She Didn't Get Fired

Sarah Palin on Fox News Exit: We Can't Just Preach to the Choir

Pictured: The Choir.

Palin tells Stephen K. Bannon, producer and director of the 2011 Palin documentary "The Undefeated," that she and other "believers in American exceptionalism" need to reach beyond the converted to spread their message. . .
Asked what's next following her split with Fox News, where she served as a contributor until last week, Palin offered, "Short term: I encourage others to step out in faith, jump out of the comfort zone and broaden our reach as believers in American exceptionalism.
"That means broadening our audience," she continued." I'm taking my own advice here as I free up opportunities to share more broadly the message of the beauty of freedom and the imperative of defending our republic and restoring this most exceptional nation. 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, Sarah, that's exactly what's going on. You're going rogue again!

Sarah Palin was dismissed by FOX News, probably because her diminishing fan club was  no longer wotrth putting up with her diva bullshit. She can pretend all she wants that she's leaving to pursue a wider audience, but like every executive who leaves the company to "spend more time with his family," Sarah Palin was shown the door. Like every newly single person who says "we decided that we should take a break, give each other some space," Sarah Palin was dumped by Roger Ailes. Even FOX doesn't give a shit what Sarah Palin thinks anymore.

How did Trump get my E-mail?

How did this show up in my in-box?

The Trump Effect

Why America's Most Famous Billionaire
May Soon Prove to Be Its Most Influential

 

 

Billionaire Donald Trump has put his celebrity status and business power behind Mitt Romney 

Business power? what does that even mean? How is there no explanation of that term? What is "business power" and how is it something that could be "put behind" a candidate?

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters,

A voting bloc made up of the half-dozen or so people who don't loathe Donald Trump. (All of whom work for CNN)

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters, a Newsmax magazine special report finds that he may prove to be a political kingmaker come this November. 

Ooooh, Newsmax. Now it makes sense. The online magazine for people who think the moon landing was fake and professional wrestling is real. 

Newsmax magazine's report — "The Trump Effect" — has just been released and reveals Donald Trump's pivotal role in the GOP primary and how he is working behind the scenes to engineer a victory for Mitt Romney. 

Oh, his pivotal role? His pivotal role? You mean waiting until it became obvious that Mitt Romney was inevitably going to be the nominee before jumping in to endorse him? That pivotal role? And when has Trump ever done anything "behind the scenes?" He's been shoving his ugly mug in front of any TV camera he can find to trot out the embarrassing birther crap over and over no matter how many times he's been debunked.Engineer a victory for Romney? If Romney wins, it will be in spite of the albatrosses around his neck with names like Trump, Nugent, and Jameson.

First Lady of Porn Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney for President

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," the ex-porn queen recently told CBS' San Francisco affiliate. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." 

  

Less embarrassing than Trump.

On a side note, how pathetic is it that Romney not only accepts, but actively seeks out the endorsement of someone like Ted Nugent? He had to go meet and interview with Nugent before getting the seal of approval of Mr. "Yank Me Crank Me." The man who wants to be president goes groveling to the guy who waves around machine guns while threatening the Speaker of the House and two US Senators? The guy who admits he shit and pissed himself to get out of going to VietNam?  The guy who made a living singing songs about vaginas while wearing a loincloth? That's the guy whose approval you need to run for president? What a country!

 

So how in the hell did Newsmax magazine get the idea that Donald Trump is in a position to be come some sort of a kingmaker?

The Newsmax magazine report features Klein's exclusive interview with Trump

Oh, of course. They asked Trump. 

In this week's Newsmax, our sources tell us that Donald Trump is the world's greatest lover, a world-class athlete, and is smarter than science! Yes, our source is Donald Trump, why do you ask? He's the greatest, most luxurious source the world has ever seen!

It also reveals the surprising results of a Newsmax poll that provides a unique picture of the "Trump voters" — independent voters in key swing states who listen to Donald Trump. 

Pictured: Both of them

 Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, Dr. Laura and David Limbaugh — to name a few. 

Jeezus, you really got the right-wing farm team workin' for ya there. You couldn't even get the top Limbaugh.

This edition of Newsmax magazine also includes:

• Hidden welfare: disability claims soar under Obama 

You know, I've been on disability. I was laid up for a couple of months after an accident. It is NOT welfare. I paid into disability insurance before I was on it, and I'm paying into it now. It comes out of my paycheck. So fuck you, Newsmax.

• Mayors take action against bloated union pensions
• Corruption laws hurting U.S. businesses 

If our businesses aren't going to be allowed to be corrupt, how can they expect to survive? And what's with these union guys expecting to collect on the pensions they earned during their working years?

• The weight culprit: high-fructose corn syrup linked to obesity

What a scoop! Wait, this isn't 2005!

• Campaign '12: Wisconsin could go red this year

Yeah, Wisconson's totally on the verge of going red! Wait, this isn't 1955!
( you know, cuz back then, "Red" meant that. . . oh, ask your grandpa, he probably got that one)

• Mark McKinnon: GOP should woo independent voters

Brilliant! Also, the Olympic athletes should try to win medals, and vegetarians should avoid eating meat.

Ben Stein says Newsmax reveals the “unafraid, uncomplicated, bare-knuckles truth about today’s dangerous world.” 

And who would have a more objective view of Newsmax than a guy who gets paid by Newsmax? Which this Newsmax promo pointed out itself just like 2 paragraphs ago! Remember: Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, 

You can't get a reccomendation from someone a bit less biased?

Mike Reagan, the elder son of the late President Ronald Reagan and chairman and president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation, says: “I guarantee that you’ll love Newsmax magazine. The liberal media moguls hate Newsmax.”

Wow. That is just, actually it's kinda sad. It's like you're not even trying. I know your target market is people with no critical thinking skills, but still, have a little fucking pride in your work.

And Sarah Palin says Newsmax is one of her top news sources and describes it as "very very helpful, valuable."  

Geez, One of her top news sources? So one of the sources included in "ya know, all of them?"
And you couldn't even get her to try and string together a complete sentence? "very very helpful, valuable" is the best word-salad she could toss for this?





Pathetic.

ABC News is Totally Objective -- Haha, just kidding, they're horrible.

From ABC's NewsOTUS blog/website/thingy:

Texas Toast: What A Tea Party Candidate's Win Means For Washington

Well, obviously it means nothing for Washington since what he's won is the Texas GOP primary and not the general election, which he would have to also win in order to go to Washington, but please, do go on.

August 1, 2012

He's already being called the next Marco Rubio. 

They said, as if that were a compliment.

Conservative Republican Ted Cruz, who scored an upset — but rock-solid — victory over Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst in yesterday's Texas U.S. Senate runoff is being hailed today as the second coming of the current Florida senator and vice presidential short-lister.

"Just like the upstart Rubio, who started with long odds but defeated long time incumbent Florida Governor Charlie Christ in the 2010 GOP Primary with major support from the Tea Party, Cruz did exactly the same thing in Texas," the Christian Broadcasting Network's David Brody wrote in an analysis of last night's results. 

And who has more credibility than a reporter from a network founded by Pat Robertson? To whom else could you possibly turn for legitimate political analysis?

 

Okay, maybe.

 By Election Day, Cruz, a former Texas solicitor general, had already overtaken Dewhurst in recent polls. Cruz had the backing of Tea Party stalwarts like Sarah Palin and Sen. Jim DeMint whereas Dewhurst won the support of establishment figures like Texas Gov. Rick Perry, the erstwhile presidential hopeful. 

Um, are we pretending that Rick Perry is not a teabagger? Did he not speak in front of those teabagging rallies? Wasn't it at one of those rallies that he talked about possible secession? 

  

“Texas is a unique place. When we came into the union in 1845, one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that.”
- Texas Governor Rick Perry hinting at secession at a Tea Party rally today 

Thank you, Donklephant.com!

And how is Jim DeMint not an "establishment" figure? He's been in either the House or the Senate since 1999! How long do you have to be there before you're "established?"

I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel! *

Is maybe the point that htere really is no longer any distinction between the Republican "establishment" and the Birthers, Birchers, Tenthers and Thruthers who gather under the umbrella of the "Tea Party?" Oris it too much to expect for ABC to connect those dots? I guess it would interfere with their whole "Tea Party - outsider - rebel - grassroots" narrative.

 So, what does one Republican's victory over a fellow GOPer in the bright red state of Texas mean in the grand scheme of things?

As Brody noted: "Eventually the media and others will realize that the Tea Party is not only far from dead it's just warming up."

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a "report" from a "news" organization, not  promotional material from FreedomWorks.

Also, I'm not sure that Texas is really all that bright red anymore. It's projected to be a swing state by 2016. But why would you bother checking into that? I mean it took me literally almost an entire minute to type "Texas Swing State" into the Google and come up with these:

Mon May 07, 2012 at 05:20 PM PDT
Texas marches toward swing state status. Only question is 'when?'

Obama predicts Texas will soon be a swing state
www.theblaze.com/    Posted on July 18, 2012 at 9:47am

The Next Swing States: Arizona, Georgia, and Texas
April 12, 2012

www.usnews.com › Opinion › Robert Schlesinger

So, how could I expect ABC to put that much effort into its stenography reportage?

But regardless of who wins control of the Senate this November, we know that the upper body in Washington is going to be as polarized and uncompromising as ever, notes ABC News Political Director Amy Walter. Conservative Republicans like Cruz and Richard Murdouck in Indiana won because they insisted they wouldn't be part of a "go along, get along" culture. 

Yeah, let's pretend that it's all of the Senate that is uncompromising. Let's pretend that one side hasn't bent over backwards to be accomodating while the other side has just filibustered everything time after time after time.

To put it another way, as one smart Republican strategist told the Note: "The fact the Tea Party can win is the 2010 story; whether they can govern and what the 'establishment' will do to retool is the question." SARAH PALIN SEND 'CONGRATS'. ABC's Shushannah Walshe points us toward Sarah Palin's Facebook page, which includes this note: "Congratulations to Ted Cruz! This is a victory both for Ted and for the grassroots Tea Party movement. This primary race has always been about the kind of leadership we need in D.C. Our goal is not just about changing the majority in the Senate. It is about the kind of leadership we want. Ted Cruz represents the kind of strong conservative leadership we want in D.C." 

Yeah, I know there should be a paragraph break in there or something, but that is an exact cut & paste from the ABC site. But that's not the point. The point is, that in an analysis of a story about electoral politics, ABC cites a reporter from the Pat Robertson Network, a "smart Republican strategist" and Sarah fucking Palin. Now that's objectivity!

*

New FCC Rule

There must be at least one Palin on TV at all times.

L to R: Todd,  Nutterbutter, Bristol, Thumbtack, Other Bristol.

Bristol Palin Says Reality Show Will Present Her as a 'Grounded, Normal Mom'

Because what is more normal than being followed around by TV cameras all day?

And what could be more "grounded" than the idea that you deserve to be treated as a celebrity without having accomplished a damn thing?

Palin will star in her own reality TV show. "Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp," will feature 10 half-hour episodes that will air on the Lifetime network starting June 19.
 
Palin, 21, sat down recently with "Good Morning America" anchor Robin Roberts to talk about the show.
 
Asked what it was to have cameras watching her every move, every hour of every day, she replied: "I don't really think you get used to all of it but Tripp was used to it the whole time.

But then, he's a lot more mature and intelligent than I am!

Roberts also asked Palin how her mother felt about her doing the series.
 
"You know, she supports me and she knows that I have good judgment so she is definitely in support of it," Palin replied.

Um, at what point have you demonstrated "good judgement?"
I think your mother saw an opportunity for you to get a bunch of money without doing anything and said "hell, yeah. You should jump on that scam right away!"

And the young woman's strong support of her mother is clearly demonstrated in the show, when she engages in a heated verbal exchange at a bull-riding bar with a man whose political views are different from those of her famous mother.
 
"I think if somebody is going to talk poorly about my mom, I am going to pick and choose my battles and a battle like that, I chose to confront him and see what the real problem was," she said,

Aww, she's already talking gibberish! Sarah must be so proud!

 

Proudly as a peacock of where I would! 

Mama Grizzly!

"and I'm excited for viewers to see the real me in that, because I'm sitting there all tough and shaking and I'm acting tough and instantly when it's over, it's like, 'OK, there's the real Bristol,' because I am calling my boyfriend, I'm calling my mom. 'Ah, get me out of here,' people are going to see the real Bristol in this show."

So even Bristol doesn't know who the real Bristol is? You see the "real Bristol" when she's "sitting there all tough," but then the real Bristol is calling her mom and her boyfriend? The real Bristol says "ah, get me out of here?" I don't get it.

She added that the real Bristol Palin is "a grounded, normal mom."

Ah, that's the real Bristol. Just a normal, grounded mom picking fights in redneck bars from 1981, I guess, because who still has bull-riding in a bar these days?

But sometimes, one Palin is not enough.

TV: Todd Palin to be on ‘Stars Earn Stripes’

Yes, Todd. The quiet Palin. The Kourtney to Sarah's Kris and Bristol's Khloe.

They're the Kardashians of right-wing politics would be the main take-away from that joke.

By Lisa De Moraes, Tuesday, June 19, 7:43 PM

Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd, is among those competing in NBC’s new reality series “Stars Earn Stripes,” the network revealed Tuesday.

This is not entirely surprising, given that “SES” exec producer Mark Burnett also exec-produced Sarah’s TLC reality series “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” And late last year, word around Hollywood was that Sarah and Burnett were pitching a reality series about Todd’s career as a championship snowmobile racer. Apparently, there were no takers.

No takers? Who wouldn't want to watch a show about a creepy secessionist trying to escape his atrocious wife's enormous shadow by riding around in a snowmobile and referring to it constantly as a "snow machine" even though a snow machine is something entirely different, a machine which makes artificial snow for ski resorts? I know I'd watch that. Under certain circumstances.

 

Yeah, that would do it.

 Each week on “Stars Earn Stripes,” the competitors, teamed with members of the military or law enforcement, will attempt to complete “missions” inspired by military exercises. The winnings will be donated to first-responder and veterans groups. Todd, for example, is playing for Armed Services YMCA Alaska, NBC said.

Wow! I'm pretty sure that's the first time a Palin has ever done anything to benefit anyone else. I mean, I'm sure he's getting paid to be on the show, and he is helping feed the family fame-addiction, but still. Armed Services YMCA sounds like a good cause. Not good enough to forgive the upcoming "Real Housewives of Wasilla" show, but still. Pretty nice.