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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Bad Ads - Bayer Aspirin







Okay, this woman speaks perfect English.
Perfect. Better than me.
See? that should have been "better than I," that's how poorly I spoeak English and I'm a goddamm 'Murican!

So, this woman speaks perfect English, why are you pointing at pictures? And why do you even have a picture of back pain? And you've been on this plane awhile. She's already started the beverage service, and you've been sitting there long enough that your back has seized up, but let's pretend that you're the kind of solipsistic prick who wouldn't have noticed how a lowly service industry person speaks. Maybe then we could excuse the initial picture-pointing, but once you've asked your first question, and she answers in PERFECT NON-ACCENTED ENGLISH, why the fuck are you still pantomiming "not having a heart attack" and "experiencing back pain?" Is it really just impossible for you to accept that this foreigny-looking woman could possibly speak English? Like she says "I have Bayer Aspirin" and you think "weird, her language bears a strong resemblance to English. I wonder what 'Bayer Aspirin' means in her language?"

And also, too, why does Bayer tyhink that they need to raise awareness that ASPIRIN is a pain reliever? Everyone knows this. The word "aspirin" is generally used as a generic term for analgesic, like people will say "I have a headache, do you have any aspirin?" and then other people will reply "sure," and then hand them Tylenol. Everyone knows that aspirin is for pain, that's it's main job. Preventing heart attacks is just sort of a sideline, a hobby. Saying "aspirin is good for pain relief" is like saying "did you know that soccer balls can also be kicked?"

PERFECT FUCKING ENGLISH!!!


5 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

I daresay people from other countries can speak better english than we native-borns can. sad, really.

what passes for english now is 140-character tweets with bad spelling.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I agree, this is totally facepalm worthy.

Bob Slatten said...

Ridiculous and more than slightly racist.

the dogs' mother said...

I hates all commercials. Mute them all and I was a communications major so I know all their dirty little secrets.

anne marie in philly said...

@TDM - my spouse was also a communications major!

go check him out at arteejee.blogspot.com.