Bob Nardelli

After being paid eleventy million dollars to run Home Depot into the ground, and then another thousandy hundred to go away, Bob Nardelli was immediately hired to take over Chrysler. This kind of boobery this can only be explained by using an unneccessarilly complicated analogy, so bear with me.

let's say Home depot is the Beatles. And let's say that Chrysler is a different band, let's call them "Iaccocca and The Poorly-made Automobiles." Now it's 1969 and the Beatles are breaking up. The other band (Chrysler) is ecstatic. "Now's our chance to sign Yoko!"

So, shockingly, Nardelli goes to Washington to ask for a bailout. Then returns saying he needs more. Now FIAT is apparently riding in to the rescue. FIAT. Fee-Yacht. Fiat is going to rescue Chrysler. Do you know how embarrassing that is? That's like telling your friends "I was being attacked by a mugger. I thought I was going to die. Thank God Pee Wee Herman showed up and was able to fight him off." (Yes, I'm saying that Fiat is the Pee Wee Herman of car companies. I'm not afraid to go there.)

P.s. the "boob" reference in the first paragraph is boob as in "Sheesh, what a boob this guy is!" not as a slang term referring to a ladies bosom.

Addendum: More people after whom diseases may not be named

San Diego Chargers Running Back Marion Butts
Australian Cricket player Jack Badcock


NBA Player Rudy Gay

Retired congressman Dick Armey



Quarterback John David Booty
Former Stanford player Matt Haryasz



Kansas City Chief Johnny Dingle



Musician John Lee Hooker

You never want to have to say "I'm sorry, it appears your daughter has Hooker's disease."

Feliz Dia' de las Mujeres!

In honor of International Womens' Day, the daily Irritant presents:

American Women that Professor Chaos Admires
(In no Particular Order)

Harriet Tubman: Risked her own life and freedom again and again to lead others to freedom.

Jane Addams: The first woman to win a Nobel Prize, Suffragist, pacifist, and president of the Woman's International League for Peace and Freedom.








Mary Harris "Mother" Jones: Legendary labor organizer and all-around agitator. Known as "the most dangerous woman in America."









Annie Oakley: Star of Buffalo Bill's Wild west Show. Using a .22 caliber rifle at 90 feet (27 m), Oakley reputedly could split a playing card edge-on and put five or six more holes in it before it touched the ground.









Rosa Parks: Stood up for justice by sitting down.









Joan Jett: Rocked when girls weren't supposed to rock. Never gave a damn about her reputation. Became a role model for bands like Bikini Kill and Bratmobile. proved that women could rock as hard as any man.










Amy Goodman: Investigative journalist and host of Pacifica radio's "Democracy Now!"
Absolutely fearless journalist and advocate for progressive values.










Cindy Sheehan: At a time when the war and the president were both extremely popular, Cindy Sheehan stood up and asked "why?" Vilified in the press and subject to death threats, she never backed down.









The Dixie Chicks: Besides being very talented musicians, they took an anti-war message to probably the most hostile audience possible--country music fans. Despite having their music banned by most stations and receiving serious death threats, refused to apologize or recant.






Molly Ivins: Newspaper writer and Author. Credited with giving the nickname "Shrub" to George W. Bush. Muckracker and hell-raiser extrordinaire, and always managed to inject humor into all her work.








Eleanor Roosevelt: Civil rights advocate, Co-founder of Freedom House, she chaired the UN Comittee that drafted the Universal Declaration ofHuman Rights.









And of Course, the perpetually awesome,
Mrs. Chaos.

admittedly, this is an incomplete list, but there is only so much time in the day.
tomorrow, we will return to irritating and annoying things and hopefully try to be funny.

Kanye West

And not just because he dresses like this:

















But because every time he opens his mouth, a fresh new batch of stupid falls out.
Here's the most recent:

According to a Reuters report, at one point during the taping West asked the crowd, "Can't we give Chris a break? ... I know I make mistakes in life." Brown, who was arrested during the Grammys and booked on suspicion of making criminal threats, a felony, has not been charged in the case.

West also reportedly received loud applause when he followed by saying, "Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing ... He's a real f---in' person; he makes mistakes." West also made a rather puzzing comment about O.J. Simpson, saying, "O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?"

Right, give 'em a break! Other than a little domestic violence, child molestation, and the occasional double homicide, what did these guys ever do to be picked on like this?

Now, an ordinary jagoff would just stop there. An average tool would say, okay, that's enough douchebaggery for one day, and retire to his estate in the hills of Dildonia. But not Kanye "I deserve every Grammy ever awarded in every category and a few categories that I have created myself" West. Oh, no! The master chef topped it off with a soupcon of delusion:

The Brown comments were not the only controversy West stirred up on the stage. A Reuters reporter who was reportedly on site during the taping said 'He also tore into Radiohead after singer Thom Yorke allegedly snubbed him backstage at the Grammys five days earlier. The dis hurt because West loves the British band, which he considers one of his few artistic rivals.

Kanye, Kanye, Kanye, have you ever listened to Radiohead? Have you heard any of your own songs? Seriously, you're not in their league. When you get a minute, listen to "Karma Police." Then listen to "Gold-Digger." Ok, see what I mean? You in the same sentence with Radiohead is like Micheal Phelps being in the same sentence with Chris Brown, Micheal Jackson, and OJ. Right? I mean, noone would lump those guys all together, right?

Oh. Never Mind.

Rush Limbaugh

So Bloated, Bloviating Blowhard Rush Limbaugh wants President Obama to come on his show and debate him, which is a little like me challenging Kobe Bryant to a little one-on-one.*
I imagine the debate going something like this:

OBAMA: I believe, that in regard to the stimulus package. . .

RUSH: I hate women!

OBAMA: Yes, I know, but as I was saying. . .

RUSH: You're black!

OBAMA: Excuse me?

RUSH: I'm not going to bend over and grab my ankles for you, just because you're black!**

OBAMA: Good God, I should hope not! Now about the stimulus. . .

RUSH: LaLaLaLa, I can't hear you, LaLaLalLA Socialism, LaLaLaLaLaLa You're a socialist LaLa

OBAMA: Am I being punked?

RUSH: I win the debate! You owe me 1000 oxycontins!

I would rather see old Rush debate Susie Essman from "Curb Your Enthusiasm," because I think the debate might go more like this:

SUSIE: Rush, you fat fuck, shut your goddamned mouth!

RUSH: but, but but,

SUSIE: Fuck You, you drug-addicted cocksucker!

RUSH: But I. . .

SUSIE: Shut up, you lying sack of shit!

Then the ref stops the fight.

*Kobe, if you're reading this, I totally do challenge you to a game!

**Think I'm exgagerating? check this out. Or this.