Hey, Look!

It's the stupidest fucking mouth-breather in all of Carolina!

Yep, I'd rather die a slow, agonizing death than give up my freedom to die a slow, agonizing death!
















(photo from Blue NC)

For the record, I have Nothing against the Carolinas. They've given us the Sedaris family, Steven Colbert, and Micheal Jordan. Top that, other states!

Rep. Pete King (R-NY) has his finger on the pulse of the voters!

Rep. Pete King: Health Care is Not a Major Issue Among the American People

Yes, he said that.

He then added that the French don't really care for wine, the people of Green Bay, Wisconsin don't really get in to football, and that people who voted for Pete King are totally not regretting it.

Crankshaft

Crankshaft is technically a comic strip, although i have yet to find the "comic" part.
It's about a grumpy old man who is really grumpy, but deep down has a heart of gold which is also grumpy.

Here's a typical strip. It happens to be from July 3, and so Old Crankshaft is setting off fireworks! Oh, the hijinks that are bound to ensue! I can hardly wait!

See, it's funny because his neighbor got mad when Crankshaft shot fireworks into his yard. It's funny when people get angry for completely understandable reasons!

Later in July, Crankshaft fills in for his fiend driving an ice cream truck His friend's name is, get this, Rocky Rhodes! Where do they come up with this stuff?

It's funny because the old guy likes to look at pretty young women! And that's funny, because well, haven't we all known an old guy who was, you know, heterosexual?

Oh, Crankshaft, you'll never get any business that way! But maybe that's what you intended? Oh, ho, ho Crankshaft! You're incorrigible!

Ho, ho! No, it sure doesn't! You tell 'em Crankshaft!


Oh, Crankshaft, under that crusty exterior, you're just an old softy, aren't you?

CEOs Rate Obama!

Apparently, Yahoo News thinks we should give a damn what a bunch of scumbag CEOs think about Obama's first six months in office. So we get this.

CEOs Rate Obama's Performance

by Joseph Weber, Christopher Palmeri, and the BusinessWeek staff Monday, August 3, 2009

First up:

Angela F. Braly

CEO, WellPoint, the nation's biggest health insurer

Employers are struggling to provide health benefits while remaining competitive in the global economy and many Americans worry an illness will devastate their financial security.

Yeah, you know what could fix both of those problems? Getting rid of crooks like WellPoint and going to a Canadian-style system. Just a thought.

Both are already bearing the brunt of an existing cost shift to private insurers from Medicare and Medicaid. Unfortunately, many in Congress are proposing to shift the burden even further by expanding government-run health care.

Apparently, making a lick of sense is not a prerequisite for becoming a health care executive. If the burden is being shifted from Medicare & Medicaid to private insurers, wouldn't expanding government-run health care alleviate some of that burden? By Ms. Braly's logic, I might complain the the Giants organization puts too much emphasis on pitching and not enough on offense, and now they've made it worse by trading pitching prospects for quality hitters.

The President is doing the right thing by bringing in leaders from hospitals, physicians, nurses, employers, advocacy groups, and private insurers, among others. Only by working together will we be able to develop a sustainable solution for America's health care system.

Yes, he's definitely doing the right thing by bringing in Private Insurers to shit all over any chance of meaningful reform.

. . .Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice,
















the Superfriends have shrewdly invited Lex Luthor and the Joker to join the fight against crime!

Next up, Michael Dell, who has promised to refer to himself with the royal "we" throughout his appearance here.

Michael S. Dell

Founder and CEO, Dell

There are some aspects of what is in the economic recovery act around broadband, healthcare, and IT spending that we think are good things. We're concerned, like many, that one word that seems to be missing from a lot of discussions is "competitiveness." How do all of these things make America more competitive? It's a word that should be used more in Washington.

Well done, Michael Dell! You are indeed a horse's ass!

Next up:

Mohamed El-Erian

CEO and co-chief investment officer of Pimco

I've never heard of "Pimco," so you are dismissed.

I said good day, sir!

Who else do we have?

Duncan L. Niederauer

CEO of NYSE Euronext, operator of the New York Stock Exchange

A place where I do not think they struck the right chord was on the tax proposal involving overseas earnings of multinational corporations headquartered in the U.S. The overwhelming view from that constituent group is that if that proposal were to go through, it would at best require a lot of U.S.-headquartered companies to eliminate jobs to reduce costs to make up for the increased tax burden.

Oh, no! If we have to pay taxes on our obscene profits after we've taken the time and effort to hide the money in the Caymans, well, I guess we'll have to fire a few people just to get our spirits back up.

I believe we have time for one more.

Donald J. Trump

CEO, the Trump Organization

Ah, Jeez, who the hell let Trump in here?

I would hire him.

Mm-hm, and how many bankruptcies have your businesses gone through again? Yeah, three. I thought so. So, see your endorsemsent - it's not really helping. Yeahhh. . . um could someone show Mr. Trump out? Thanks!

Worst Idea Ever

This came from Newsweek, which I'm pretty sure used to be a legitimate publication.

Stand In

Why Obama should make George W. Bush his Mideast envoy.

Wow! I don't think I could come with a stupider proposition on a bet. Why would someone think that this was a sane idea?

Peace Partners: Bush and Obama could play good-cop, bad-cop with Israel

By Gregory Levey | Newsweek Web Exclusive

Seriously?

They want Israel to stop expanding settlements; to stop building Jewish neighborhoods in East Jerusalem; and for hawks in the government to chill out while the U.S. is negotiating with Iran. And yet, odds are, they'll come back to Washington empty-handed, for reasons having to do as much with atmospherics as policy: Team Obama just doesn't have Israel's full trust.

But there is someone who does—someone who could use a job, someone who argued straightforwardly for a Palestinian state, and yet someone who has the implicit admiration and regard of Israel. President Obama needs a new envoy to the region who can get results—and George W. Bush is his man.

Of course, while Bush was in office, Isreal did all those things, but if he were a special Middle-east envoy, well sure, he could get them to stop.

Obama has ruffled feathers in Israel by calling for a halt to settlement growth and talking openly about an equitable fate for East Jerusalem, which both Israelis and Palestinians claim as their capital. He has elicited deeply felt unease about how much the American president can be trusted to safeguard Israel's basic security.

Why is it the American president's responsibility to safeguard Israel? Israel is 50 years old, shouldn't they be able to stand on their own two feet now? And maybe they wouldn't need so much protection from Uncle Sam if they weren't constantly building new settlements on other people's land, just saying.

But, as odd as it sounds, channeling Bush wouldn't be such a bad thing. To help get Israelis behind the new American president, it would behoove the White House to show more urgency on the Iranian threat—and to openly press Arab countries for their own concessions, such as more diplomatic relations with the Jewish state. Having collected political capital, it's time Obama began spending it.

Right, no need to spend political capital on health care, or fixing the economy, or repairing the nation's infrastructure. No, the top priority has to be getting Isrealis to like him. And this could be accomplished by sending the bumbling chimp as an envoy? Hey, Gregory Levey, stop writing. You've lost your having-your-viewpoint-heard privileges. Seriously, this is the stupidest idea I've heard since New Coke.