Jonesuary Duets

Tom Jones with Aretha Franklin




With Van the Man and Jeff Beck



With Tina Turner




With Janis Joplin



With Jerry Lee Lewis



With little Richard

If Newt Gingrich were half as smart as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as smart as he is.

Why does Gingrich feel the need to constantly try to make people think he's smarter than everyone else?

First he said that he understood the Constitution better than lawyers because he's an HISTORIAN! Oooooh!

Now, there's this:

"I'm an amateur paleontologist, so I've spent a lot of time looking at the earth's temperature over a very long time," Gingrich said. "I'm a lot harder to convince than just by looking at a computer model." 

 

Really? You like dinosaurs so you're an expert on, um, something?

Really? You're an amateur scientist so we should trust you over professional scientists?

And, really? You're interest in paleontology qualifies you to comment on climatology? Really? You think your fake expertise in one field of science carries over into other branches? Like "science" is some all-inclusive field of study? Really?

 

I'm an expert in SCIENCE!

Jonesuary 3, 2012

Happy Jonesuary

Fun With Real Quotes

In which I add writer's embellishments to some of the dumbest quotes of 2011.


 


And I said "Oh, hi Mom!"




And will continue to be for the next four years.

Because no one is more secular and atheist than radical Muslims!

Jonesuary

Hear ye, Hear ye!






In my capacity as King, I hereby decree that henceforth, the first month of each year shall be known as "JONESUARY!"



This is, of course, to honor "The Voice," or as he is more commonly known
"Tom Mother-Fuckin' Jones!"

If you've never seen Tom Jones perform live, do yourself a favor and catch him next time he comes around. Or take a trip to Vegas or Atlantic City or Reno or wherever to see the man before it's too late. The man is 70 years old, there may not be a lot of chances left.

We've seen him a few times, most recently last year on his "Praise & Blame" Tour, and he still has the golden pipes. I know, when people think of Tom Jones, they think of kitsch, they think of the guy with the Greg Brady 'fro and the open shirt shakin' his money-maker for a bunch of horny old ladies, but A) looking past the gigolo act, he's always been a great singer and B) he doesn't really do that anymore. The man has dignity. He's not this guy anymore:



Now he's this guy:



And if you haven't heard his latest album, "Praise and Blame," check it out on his MySpace Page, or listen to a couple of samples below: