Thursday, February 9, 2012

Thanks to these two products, I may never sleep again.

Seriously, if you want to be able to sleep without horrible nightmares, just don't even look at these.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm not kidding.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Well,m okay, I am kidding, but these are both pretty creepy products.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Okay, you asked for it.




(via STFUC)
funnyordie:

One Million Other Things One Million Moms Should Actually Worry About
Aren’t there more important things for One Million Moms to focus on than Ellen DeGeneres and JC Penney?

^ Even if you come on Tumblr to cross-promote a website with funny videos, you will end up angrily writing about liberal politics and how fucked up conservatives are. A+, FOD.
-Jess



The next one's worse.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Last warning.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Via MPS)


Mr. Burns 127 


http://macrobusiness.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/apocalypse-brando2.jpg 

. . .The Horror. . .

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Other positions for which Michele Bachmann would be an Equally Perfect Candidate

Background:


The Minnesota congresswoman was asked by Bloomberg TV's Al Hunt which of the remaining candidates was the most conservative during an interview Friday, and said none of them measured up to her conservative credentials.
"I was. I was the perfect candidate," Bachmann said in response. 


Other positions for which Ms. Bachmann would be just as perfect a candidate include:

Replacing Peyton Manning in Indianapolis

http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/dmrdc5-61cbocrkz83i32uxb2l_original.jpg  



Guest on special "Help. my husband can't keep his hands off me" edition of Maury

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7NClPcV1xRRv9SZeWKum8zpvjeQ3ihjgzhIrB062U8DrustJkLdnmPA17IHsRcANj6WrwweT3rPlIlV_NzDHhfkoS1hh5THYxpPTrd54FfefsLgCA-3R_2T3OQ9fy7EUr8JZGztD6Avs/s1600/thebachmannsatSD56_2010.jpg 

Late Night talk show sidekick

http://load.kovideo.net/s/raw/n/michele-bachmann-jimmy-fallon.jpg 
Hey-oh!

Smart person

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDP0Vz8LXP-hcFD_X3sfVnpgE8KcXAom6DLMVVDXqtuk1QZyLZJU2L_BGdpd70ZNHq7hiX9vs0dKfDDxjj5NouWsYhLNcZ6Z_ei2N6Fc35JK7PtqrSO-lXv45BViCylChuhifU-VYdc3Js/s1600/michele_bachmann_crazy.jpg

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Speaking of Susan G. Komen and the Fundies. . .

. . . As we were a few days ago, When I first heard about the Komen/Planned Parenthood thing I just assumed that right-wingers had bullied Komen into withdrawing their funding of Planned Parenthood. Turns out, the right-wing fundies actually came from within the Komen Organization.

When Karen Handel's name first came up in regards to this story, I thought her name sounded familiar. I thought maybe she was the one who wrote "The Messiah." But now I know who she is. She ran for Governor of Georgia a couple years back. And the REPUBLICAN PARTY of GEORGIA decided she was too wingnutty to win the nomination. And she holds a prominent position in the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Department. Then I find out that they also employ Ari Fleischer? Seriously? Who would hire that schmuck? So basically the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Varsity Walking Team is just another corrupt rightie-infested organization that does not deserve anyone's donation dollars whether they reverse course on Planned Parenthood or not.

Also, in writing about the Komen debacle, I find myself using the word "Fundies" a lot.  I know it's common internet shorthand for "Fundamentalists" but every time I hear it, I can't help but think of this:

http://www.wtfeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/fundies-the-underwear-built-for-two.jpg 

And I giggle like a schoolboy!


Also, I hear Komen likes to sue other charitable groups who dare to use the phrase "For the Cure," so I'm going to try to use that phrase as much as possible.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

What Bible is this guy reading?

http://c.cslacker.com/8051l.jpghttp://www.freethunk.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/action-bible.jpg

McGill: Consequences to raising teacher pay

State Sen. Shadrack McGill defended a pay raise his predecessors in the Legislature passed, but said doubling teacher pay could lead to less-qualified educators.

 "It's a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher's pay scale, you'll attract people who aren't called to teach."


 I'm sorry, how is that a Biblical principle?

http://i567.photobucket.com/albums/ss111/chercabula/Pics%20for%20Blogposts/September%202011/The-Brick-Bible.png  

By the way, there is now officially a LEGO version of EVERYTHING!

Teachers need to make the money that they need to make. There needs to be a balance there. If you double what you're paying education, you know what's going to happen? I've heard the comment many times, ‘Well, the quality of education's going to go up.' That's never proven to happen, guys.

Um, in fairness, has anyone ever tried doubling teachers' pay? 
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO6HERxZB0BEwAEo9NmziAENOU8hgGXtrgudw7PxNUKArMbbhxiq5o3LDBgvn5R9Wx6s90_3HpHoz7ZSEsfOomSYUwN9h-DqriVtRZWKgVxDV3-6Q673PJ27kMK3cxol2rBeCxV2pJWmAi/s1600/naughty+teacher.jpg 
Other than hers?

Saying that doubling teachers' pay has not been proven to improve performance is like saying that teaching cats to drive has never been proven to cause traffic fatalities.

http://bestuff.com/images/images_of_stuff/210x600/toonces-the-driving-cat-36721.jpg?1173103954 
For those of you under 40, Google "Toonces"

"To go in and raise someone's child for eight hours a day, or many people's children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn't want to do it, OK?

 http://www.clipartpal.com/_thumbs/005/002/Clipart/Things/Furniture/Desks/student_desk_109993_tnb.png 
Yeah, it's mutual!

"And these teachers that are called to teach, regardless of the pay scale, they would teach. It's just in them to do. It's the ability that God give 'em. And there are also some teachers, it wouldn't matter how much you would pay them, they would still perform to the same capacity.

So, the "Biblical Principle" is that many teachers are so dedicated to teaching that they will continue to teach no matter how shitty the pay? That's a Biblical principle?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/18/%22Citation_needed%22.jpg 


Last year, McGill introduced a bill that would tie legislators' pay to the average teacher's pay, including benefits. He later claimed teachers in Alabama rank fourth in the nation in average pay and benefits of about $65,000.

Um, which Alabama are you referring to? The one in America? Because that state ranks about 42nd in average teacher salary, (source) so unless the benefits are out of this world, I gotta think you're full of shit.
http://impawards.com/2011/posters/friends_with_benefits_ver2.jpg 

Okay, those benefits are pretty impressive!

Okay, so to sum up, teachers shouldn't get decent pay because teaching is a noble calling. What about other types of public service, like, say, serving in the state government?

McGill, R-Woodville, said a 62 percent pay raise in 2007 - passed first by a controversial voice vote and later in an override of a veto by then-Gov. Bob Riley - better rewards lawmakers and makes them less susceptible to being swayed by lobbyists. McGill said that by paying legislators more, they're less susceptible to taking bribes.

Ohhhhh, yeah. That makes total sense. A 62% raise for you and your buddies is just a sensible bulwark against corruption. A raise for lawmakers makes them perform better. A raise for teachers makes them worse. Got it?

"That played into the corruption, guys, big time," he said. "You had your higher-ranking legislators that were connected with the lobbyists making up in the millions of dollars. They weren't worried about that $30,000 paid salary they were getting," McGill said, adding that lawmakers have to pay for their expenses out of pocket

http://dkl3fnj1o5loa.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/teachers-paid-more-than-movie-stars.jpg
Out of pocket? Gee, what must that be like?

So, remember everyone, God wants teachers to get low pay, but He wants State Senators to get big raises. At least in Alabama!

Read your Bible, people. It's all in there!

http://images.betterworldbooks.com/076/The-Bible-for-Dummies-9780764552960.jpg

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Florida's Mark Oxner.

Submitted without comment except to say that Alan Grayson apparently has a pretty good chance of returning to Congress, if this is any indication: