I present the inaugural "You Go, Girl" award to. . .

So this was an unexpected headline:

Sen. Mitch McConnell’s Wife Is Screwing Up His Re-election Campaign – Big Time (VIDEO)

Author: Gloria Christie August 9, 2014 5:58 pm

Yeah. . . I don't know who could possibly be screwing things up for Mitch McConnell more than Mitch McConnell.

Although, I guess a Kentucky Republican might be hurt by being married to a non-Caucasian woman, even one who worked for The George W. Bush administration.

But no, that's not even it.

This is too good:

•  McConnell says that he is a “friend of coal.”
• But Chao sits on the board of Bloomberg Philanthropies which supports a “war on coal.” (This is former New York Mayor Bloomberg’s. organization)
• McConnell is big on tobacco.
• But Chao is advising Bloomberg which “backs a global battle against tobacco.”
• McConnell vows he “will do everything in his power to defend the Second Amendment.“
• But Bloomberg is very anti-gun

Oh my God. She's actually hurting McConnell's campaign by doing something decent! I mean, I'm sure she's working for the Bloomberg group for the money, not out of any sense of conviction or human decency, but by somehow finding herself on the side of, if not good, then at least "not-evil," she is having the unintended side-effect of hurting her horrible husband's re-election chances. 

Cecil Roberts, Union Mine Workers Association (UMWA) union chief, released a statement,
“One has to wonder just where Sen. McConnell is with respect to this, and whether he supports his wife’s continued service on the board of this organization, one whose actions have already cost thousands of coal miners in Kentucky and elsewhere their jobs.”

Now, is this true? No, probably not. There seems to be no shortage of coal-powered plants in the US and around the world. If anything, coal mining jobs have probably been lost to mountain-top removal and other technological advances which make it possible to extract more coal with fewer workers, but who cares? If the coal-miners union is coming out in opposition to McConnell, that can only be good news for Alison Lundgren-Grimes. I don't know enough about Ms Lundgren-Grimes to know if she would make a good Senator or not, but I know enough. I know that she is not Mitch McConnell, so she would definitely be an improvement over Mitch McConnell.

So, to former Labor Secratary Elaine Chao, I say "You Go, Girl!"

Conservatives should never try to be funny ever.

Last week, I said that Michael Ramirez was Exhibit A in the case of "Conservatives Should Never Try to be Funny Ever."

Exhibit B is David M. Hitch

Here's a recent example:

Okay,  why is that even supposed to be funny?

The whole point of the political cartoon is that the joke has to be based on something that actually happened in the real world.
 See, here's how a professional does it:



See, the joke is based on Sarah Palin's repeated insistence that the Affordable Care Act would contain "Death Panels." That's what makes the joke work. (That and the fact that Sarah Palin is pretty much a living, breathing punchline)

For your joke to work, Al Gore would have had to have claimed at some point that a movie or TV show or some other work of fiction served as evidence to back up his warnings about global warming.

But he didn't do that.

So there's no joke.

Also, there absolutely has been reams of scientific evidence supporting Al Gore's claims about global warming. The scientific evidence is what his warnings were based on. Global warming was not something discovered by or postulated by Al Gore. He was merely serving as a mouthpiece for the entire legitimate scientific community.

And you don't even need any scientific expertise, the average global temperature gets a little higher every year. It's not even climatoilogy at this point, it's basic arithmetic.

There was a scene in an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" in which Charlie is keeping a hornet's nest in a box, convinced that he will eventually get free honey. Dennis explains to him that hornets do not make honey, to which Charlie replies "I don't think there's any good science behind that."
"Yes there is," says Dennis. "there's very good sci - - you know what, it's not even science, it's just true!" (paraphrasing)
That's how I feel whenever I hear someone questioning the science behind global warming. "It's not even science, it's just true!" You can look for yourself. Google pictures of polar ice several years ago vs today



You don't need a degree in climatology to see the difference.



And that's why conservatives should never try to be funny ever.

You know what, fuck this guy, too!

Somehow, from out of the ass-clown circus that is the Republican's Benghazi committee, actual real-world sanity managed to poke its head out. Of course, it saw its shadow and we're going to get 6 more weeks of bullshit.

House panel: No administration wrongdoing in Benghazi attack

[Rep. Mike]Thompson said the report "confirms that no one was deliberately misled, no military assets were withheld and no stand-down order (to U.S. forces) was given."

So it's over, right? We're done with this now, right?

Gowdy: More witnesses to testify on Benghazi

But, but. . . it's over. We're done now. There can't possibly be any more, right?

Gowdy, the committee’s Republican chairman, also said the panel is gaining access to witnesses who didn’t participate in previous congressional investigations into the attacks.

Wait, you found more people who weren't there to make shit up? Alert CBS!

“I know I’m biased, but one of the good parts about running an investigation in a way that appears to be serious-minded is that witnesses who were previously unavailable or not interested in cooperating are now interested in cooperating,” Gowdy said.

Oh fer fuck sake! This investigation absolutely does not appear to be any more serious than any of the other phony clown-show  inquisitions. Although I do have to give you credit for admitting that A: you are biased, and B: this investigation only "appears" to be serious-minded. (although, honestly it really doesn't even seem to be)

Gowdy, in an interview, said the panel isn’t scheduled to meet during the August congressional recess, but committee lawyers and investigators will be working.

Which is how you can tell how super-important and serious this is, they're not going to let it interfere with their month off.

Last week, the 12 committee members — seven Republicans and five Democrats — met behind closed doors with family members of the four men killed in Benghazi on the 11th anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks in the U.S.

“One of the issues in homicide cases is that the jury knows more about the defendant and virtually nothing about the victim,” said Gowdy, a former prosecutor. “We wanted to give the family members a chance to tell us whatever was on their heart and mind.”

How is that supposed to help anything? Is there something that a grieving family member is going to tell you that's going to crack the case wide open? If these four Americans were brave, noble patriots or if they were jerks who took an overseas posting because they wanted to get far away from their exes, the case is exactly the same. Very bad people stormed the embassy and killed four Americans. It's not like getting some insight into the victims' personalities is going to help you sort through the facts of the case. Facts which, I might add, have already been thoroughly investigated.

Oh, Ambassador Stevens was a big sports fan, eh? So that's how they did it!
Oh, he liked Italian food? That proves that Hillary was in on it!



So  who is this Gowdy character?




 Seriously? That's a congressman? Must be a bad picture.


 
No, that's really what they elected. Wow!

He looks like Draco Malfoy grew up and developed a substance abuse problem.

Anyway, I guess the way he looks is kind of the least of his problems. But this guy seriously wants to do another Benghazi investigation? Fuck this guy!

Fuck this guy!

I saw a headline that said the Joe Scarborough had changed his position on the US's continuing unconditional support for  Israel. Like he had finally come to the realization that what we are supporting is just a horrific series of war crimes and maybe we should, I don't know, be opposing that? Maybe?

So I clicked on the article to see for myself.

Joe Scarborough is catching flack for daring to say out loud what a lot of Americans are thinking anyway, namely that the indiscriminate killing of Gazans by Israel has to stop. 

 Well, I'm impressed! I mean, it's not every day that a TV "news" personality gets away with even the tamest criticism of Israel, so this seemed like maybe it could be a sort of turning point, and good on Joe for having the moral courage to. . . oh, wait. . .  never mind.


Israel Loses Joe Scarborough, Calls Gaza Offensive 'Asinine'

Wait, have I been using the word "asinine" wrong this whole time? Does "asinine" mean "horrifically appalling?"

 

adjective

adjective: asinine

1.    extremely stupid or foolish.

“This is asinine,” said the MSNBC host and former Republican congressman. “This continued killing of women and children in a way that appears to be indiscriminate is asinine.”

That can't possibly be the word you're looking for. Asinine? The killing of women and children is "asinine?" Not "evil?" or "reprehensible?" or "malevolent?"
You're going with "asinine?"
You know you're talking about kids being brutally slaughtered, right?

Joe Scarborough: They blew up a popular marketplace yesterday and they blew up a U.N. school where there were 17 warnings — 17. That is indiscriminate. . .  The United States of America — we cannot be associated with this if this continues. This is so bad, not only for the Israeli people, but for us.

Right, because. . . wait, what?!?!?

 

We should not support the indiscriminate murder of children in Gaza because it is bad for the country doing the killing? And for us? Not bad for the people getting murdered?

“Far from taking an antagonistic approach towards Israel,” he continued, “I am most concerned about Israel’s long-term security. And Israel does not become more secure by increasing attacks that continue to kill women and children.”

He warned, as he did earlier Thursday, that Israel’s response could radicalize Palestinian citizens and mobilize a group more extreme than Hamas.

So, the main concern is for the security of the country who is committing the war crimes? The reason that they should stop killing innocent kids is because there could be blowback?

This is the bold stand that Scarborough is taking? This is what he's "getting flack" for? This is why we're supposed to be impressed with his courage? Fuck this guy!

How the hell is this woman allowed to be a judge?

I'm not an attorney. I have not studied the law. I'm no expert, I'm just a regular Joe.

 

But I have seen every episode of Law & Order,  and been on jury duty twice, so I think I kinda got a handle on how courtrooms are supposed to operate. And if there is one thing I know about the criminal justice system (And there is literally one thing I know about the criminal justice system) it's that judges are supposed to be impartial.

So how is this possible?

Conservative KY judge says black defendant in Obama t-shirt ‘lucky to get out of here alive’

By Scott Kaufman
Friday, August 1, 2014 14:39 ED

Wow. Well, maybe that's a misleading headline. Maybe the defendant did something horrible in the courtroom, and he just happebed to be wearing an Obama T-shirt? Maybe?

According to courtroom video obtained by KYCIR (below), Judge Sandra McLaughlin said of an African-American defendant being arraigned on drug charges that “he’s lucky to get out of here alive,” before adding, “did you see his shirt? Barack Obama, ‘Let’s Do It Again.’ That was a double whammy.”

Holy shit!

During his arraignment, Broaddus stepped in front of Judge McLaughlin wearing a shirt featuring President Barack Obama’s face. The shirt read ‘Let’s Do It Again,’ a reference to Obama’s 2012 re-election campaign. This clearly didn’t sit well with McLaughlin, who clearly states on the video that the shirt isn’t helping Broaddus in her courtroom.

Holy shit!

How is this woman allowed to be a judge?

well, we must have just caught her on a bad day, right/ I mean, she must usually be one of the leading jurists in the state, probably, Right?

McLaughlin is the lowest-rated judge in Jefferson County “by a wide margin,” according to the Louisville Bar Association (LBA). 

Holy shit!
So how is she allowed to stay on the bench?

 When Judge McLaughlin spoke to KYCIR, she told them that her low ratings were the result of the Louisville Bar Association — which conducted the survey — being stacked with defense attorneys who “just declared war on a tough judge.” Scott Furkin, the executive director of the LBA, disagreed with her assessment, noting that “membership is open to all attorneys in good standing with the state bar association.”

Oh, a tough pro-prosecution judge, eh? So she probably has the backing of law enforcement, right?

McLaughlin, who is up for reelection in November, is also accused of lying about the groups that have endorsed her. One of her campaign flyers claims that she is “unanimously endorsed by the Fraternal Order of Police,” but according to Mike Hettich of the Deputy Sheriff’s Fraternal Order of Police Lodge, the group actually endorsed her opponent Matthew Eckert in the upcoming election.

Holy Shit!


 How the hell is this woman allowed to be a judge?






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