Friday, May 8, 2015

I believe I'll go to Florida and get some sand in my shoes.

Yes, once again it is time for the Missus and your humble correspondent to make our sorta annual trek to the Redneck Riviera, aka the Florida Panhandle. So there probably won't be much if any posting for about a week.

But before we go, one quick thing.

I saw this on No More Mr. Nice Blog, who saw it on Newsmax.


Rush Limbaugh: Sharia Law Already Happening in US

In light of the fallout from the recent shooting in Texas, conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh says Sharia law is already happening. Limbaugh said on his radio show Thursday that on "one of the networks this morning somebody was defending Pam Geller and started saying, 'If we're not careful, Sharia law is gonna happen,'" and the co-host responded, saying that "'There isn't gonna be Sharia law in the United States of America. Just isn't gonna happen. Come on, get real, get real, it's silly.'" But Limbaugh said that "Sharia law has already been implemented in this country." "Are you aware that in New Jersey a judge found that an Islamic man could not be accused of the rape of his wife?" the conservative radio host asked his audience. "A judge in New Jersey found that he could not be charged with it, much less found guilty, because there's no rape in his religion," he explained. "Well, hello. That's Sharia. "Now, it's not Sharia that has become American law, but it's been implemented," he added. "It's been used."
  Professor Chaos said...
Oh, no wonder all the Christian churches have been shut down! And my wife has been busy burqa shopping! It all makes sense now! Because for the first time in American history, a male judge has found an excuse to let a rapist off the hook!

And, as Steve M. pointed out, that ruling was almost immediately overturned. But at this point in the article, I'm thinking "well, thank Allah that this was New Jersey , not Indiana, because under their "religious freedom" law, that decision might have been upheld, if the man in question had a sincerely-held religious belief that he should be allowed to force his wife into sex whenever he wanted. And, sure, that law is only supposed to apply to homophobic Christian wedding cake bakers, but once you establish that your religious beliefs can exempt you from having to follow the law, why wouldn't that principle apply in a case like this?

Anyway, the ruling was overturned, sanity was restored and Sharia Law went back to being something that Americans neend't concern themselves with, and we all lived happily ever after with no Sharia law at all.

But Limbaugh wasn't finished. He apparently also saw the parallel with the Indiana Religious Freedom law. Except he saw it in a completely stupid and insane way.


I would even go so far as to point out that what happened in Indiana when they had their religious freedom law pass there, remember the outrage that occurred as a result of that? The media is running around going door-to-door looking for a bigot. They found this young woman and her family that owned a pizzeria. The people at the pizzeria had never said anything about whether or not they would cater a gay wedding. It had never come up. But the media goes door-to-door, starts asking, and in response a question, this young woman who thinks that the media is really interested in what she's saying, doesn't realize she's being set up, says, "No, we would not cater a gay wedding. It's against our religious principle." And, bammo, the sewer that is Twitter blew up. Everybody in the country came descending on the state of Indiana. That's an example of what Sharia would be like.

Right, right, except no. Everything about that is wrong. The pizza lady was not "set up,' she wanted to become a famous martyr with a GoFundMe account and that's exactly what she did, raising around 3/4 of a million dollars to support her bigotry. The pizza family (and Gawd, could you imagine what pizza made by Indiana white trash must taste like? **shudder**) voluntarily shut down their business because begging for handouts from their fellow bigots is way more lucrative.

And I really think that you have zero idea of what Sharia law is if you think that its practitioners would come flocking to Indiana to shame homophobes. In a Sharia law country, the question "would you cater a gay wedding" would never be asked. Because there would be no such thing as a gay wedding. There would officially not be any such thing as a gay person, all the suspected gay persons having already been put to death. And certainly no one who practices Sharia law would ever ever defend the rights of gay persons to marry. You moron.

So that's it for this week. Heading off to the beach. Back in a week, more or less.

Oh, and since it's Friday, here's a quick Friday Flashback with Rockpile:














Thursday, May 7, 2015

This guy's up on the latest developments in the sports world.



Leland Faust Headshot


Macho Men, Run and Hide -- The Closer Is Coming
Posted: Updated: 


As baseball season gets into full swing, we hear lots of buzz about the closer -- baseball's newest position. Is the newly-minted closer worth the adulation and the money, or is the mystique just a myth?




Baseball's newest position!



Baseball's



Newest                                         

                                   










                                                                                  Position.



                                                  
                               


Has this guy been asleep since the Nixon administration? The "closer" is the "newly-minted" "newest position in baseball?"

Next week, an in-depth look at the "slam-dunk," basketball's newest shot.

And stay tuned for "The Forward Pass: Sure to Revolutionize the Game of Football!"




Wednesday, May 6, 2015

The Worst Place in America



You'd think it would be in some deep-red state like Mississippi or Arkansas, but no. I'm pretty sure this headline just declared a winner in the race for worst place in America:


Staten Island prosecutor in Eric Garner case wins congressional special election






From what I understand, Staten Island in basically New Jersey without the elegance.

Staten Island is where frat boys settle when they leave college.

Half the cast of "Jersey Shore" is from Staten Island.

The movie "Copland" is about Staten Island.
I think.
Anyway, it could be.

But now they've really outdone themselves. They have rewarded the prosecutor who, rather than prosecuting the cops who choked a man to death ON VIDEO, punted to the grand jury and somehow, through either stunning incompetence or sadly predictable malfeasance, failed to get an indictment.

This is the man they choose to represent them in Washington.
I mean, the guy he's replacing was a lawbreaking bullying goon, but still.



I think the contest is over. Staten Island is the worst place in America.



Confusing Headline




Sweet Surprise for Newborn Photographer Who Couldn't Get Pregnant


I'm confused.

How could a newborn be a photographer?

And who would expect a newborn to be able to get pregnant? Who would want that?




Tuesday, May 5, 2015

This story keeps getting crazier

First, the Pentagon announced that they were going to do a big training exercise in the Southwest. Which isn't particularly crazy, because if you want to simulate conditions in Iraq or Afghanistan, you're gonna want to go to Texas or Arizona.

Then the nuts found out about it.




which is not surprising. There are a lot of idiots who listen to Alex Jones, so of course they thought that this was part of some New World Order kind of plot to take Texans' guns a way or whatever it is they think the black helicopters are up to.

Then it started to get really crazy.

Texas Governor Deploys State Guard To Stave Off Obama Takeover


Which means that either the governor of the second or third most populous state in the Union is a paranoid imbecile, or that the governor of the second or third most populous state in the union feels that he needs to pander to paranoid imbeciles to protect his political future. And I don't know which is more depressing.



Although, what Abbott and the assorted lunatic screwballs think that the "State Guard of Texas" would do to defend Texas from the most powerful military force the world has ever known remains a mystery.

Now the Wal*Mart corporation has had to issue a public denial that their closed locations are being used as part of some nefarious plot by the government  to take over the state that if we had any sense we'd give back to Mexico.


Wal-Mart: 'No Truth To The Rumors' Of Tunnels Being Built To Take Over Texas

Theorists have suggested that five Wal-Mart retail locations were shuttered abruptly because of Jade Helm 15. They have suggested that the closed stores, one of which is located in Texas, will serve as "food distribution centers" and will be used to "house the headquarters of invading troops from China, here to disarm Americans one by one."

Which would honestly be the best use of a Wal*Mart in the company's history.



Another theory suggested that there was already a system of underground tunnels below the closed Wal-Marts.
Well, that's ridiculous. If there were, their employees would have escaped.



Then Governor Abbott actually tried to justify his absurd, laughable response to his constituents' pathetic paranoia. 

Abbott told the Tribune his actions were "simple and non-inflammatory" and shouldn't be misconstrued.
“I frankly think that there was an overreaction to the simple fact that someone has to be in charge of gathering and disseminating information and we stepped in to play that role, which is a role to be applauded," Abbott told the Tribune.

No. I mean, I'm no military expert, but I'm pretty sure that they generally don't want anyone disseminating information about their training missions. Or any missions. I'm pretty sure they frown on anyone giving out information about what they're doing to a bunch of Gadsen flag-waving militia wannabes. 

Then, the lunatic cherry on top of this batshit sundae:

Chuck Norris Pledges To Protect Texas From Federal Invasion


Because occasionally he forgets that he isn't a character in one of his movies.


Last week, I laughed as some progressives in the mainstream media tried to mock Gov. Abbott for telling the Texas State Guard to monitor the Pentagon’s Jade Helm 15 military ops that are occurring this summer in seven states, including California and Texas.

No, they were actually pretty successful in their mocking of the idiot governor of your shithole state.


If Washington wants to cool the embers of controversy, then it should quit stoking the fire, as with the posting of a map of Jade Helm 15 “just” exercises that label some areas of the country, including Texas, as “hostile,” according to KHOU 11 News in Houston and verified by the Washington Post.


Oh. My. Gawd! If you're doing a military training exercise, you have to have some area serving as "hostile" territory. It's make-believe. It's playing pretend. How many times did you get kicked in the head in your career?


Concerned Texans and Americans are in no way calling into question our brave and courageous men and women in uniform. They are merely following orders. What’s under question are those who are pulling the strings at the top of Jade Helm 15 back in Washington. The U.S. government says, “It’s just a training exercise.” But I’m not sure the term “just” has any reference to reality when the government uses it.
“Well, I’m not trusting what we’re being told,” said Mike Hightower, an affable antique store owner and real-estate agent in the very small town of Smithville, Texas, where some Jade Helm 15 exercises will take place. He added, “I think there’s something a little more involved than what they’re telling us.”


Okay, first of all, Texans, as much as both you and we hate to admit it, ARE AMERICANS. Secondly, if you think that there was some federal plot to "invade" Texas, which is, as you may remember, already a part of the US, do you really think they would have told you they were coming?
And third, Mike the antique guy? That's your source? Well, if Mike the antique guy is suspicious, then hell yes we should all be afraid. **eye-roll**



Friends, when it comes to freedom, we must question, verify and vet everyone and everything. As Thomas Jefferson told his nephew, Peter, in 1787: “Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear.”

Wow, it's almost like you're acknowledging that founding father Thomas Jefferson was not a devout Christian who wanted our nation to be a theocracy!