It must have been nice for Kim Kardashian to finally be the smart one in the room.
Although I expect she must have been a bit disappointed when, after talking to President McCheese about prison reform, he said "you know, you're right. I should pardon Dinesh D'Souza!"
At this point, my advice to anyone who is in jail and wants to get out, just tweet a picture of yourself in a MAGA hat to Il Douche. Maybe with a racist caption. Say you've been set up by the "deep state."
Random thought #2:
Do you think service dogs just think most people are dicks? Like wherever they go, they see other dogs getting petted and having their ears scratched by strangers, but those same people walk up to the service dogs, stop short and then just walk on by. The dog doesn't know what's written on his vest. So he has no way of knowing why people are petting all the other digs but not him. Does he think maybe he's not a good boy? Because really, he's the best boy. I really worry about their self-esteem.
Oh - and by the way, Google Images, this \/
. . . is NOT a service dog. This is a dog that is "into leather."
Random thought #3:
I bet there's good money in writing songs for children that are a little educational. It's probably a crowded marketplace, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
Ready? One Two Three Four. . .
What do you get when it's time for a bath
And you jump in the tub and you make a big splash?
Water on the floor 'cuz the tub was too full
That's Archimedes' Principle!
Remember, kids:
If you want to calculate bouyancy,
In your glass of milk
Or in the Caspian Sea,
There's a simple way that you might intuit.
You just need the weight of the displaced fluid!
The bouyant force on a submerged body
Either in the sink, the tub or the potty,
Is equal to the weight of the fluid displaced,
If it's water or juice or tomato paste.
It's a work in progress.
Here's another one I just thought of. It's about where babies come from.
And a one and a two and a... .
Oh, kittens and puppies
And fuzzy little ducklings.
All kinds of babies
Are made by
Anyway, you get the idea.
And yes, this is the sort of thing I think about while I'm at work.
You know, not every idea can be a gem. Even the best and brightest among us comes up with a clunker now and then. Prince wrote "Manic Monday." Steven Bochco did "Cop Rock." Michael Jordan tried to play baseball for a living. So it shouldn't be too surprising that even our generation's Edison, Elon Musk, came up with this brilliant idea:
Going to create a site where the public can rate the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication. Thinking of calling it Pravda …
Oh, the public! Oh yes, let's have the public "rate the core truth" of what they read in the news media. What a great idea! Let's have the people who scream "FAKE NEWS!" every time they don't like something be the judges of the "core truth" of what professional journalists write. I mean, it's not like there was a publication like, say, the Columbia Journalism Review, or organizations like F.A.I.R. that have actual knowledgeable informed individuals analyzing news coverage. No, this sort of thing is best left to the people that forwarded you that e-mail about Obama being a gay Muslim fascist..
Create a media credibility rating site (that also flags propaganda botnets)
Now I don't know what Elon Musk's politics are. And I certainly don't care enough to find out, but this bullshit. . . This is the kind of bullshit false choice that the right always tries to force people into. Like "Are you in favor of invading and occupying Iraq or do you think that Sadam Hussein is so great and you wish you could marry him?" or "Do you want everyone to be able to walk into WalMart with a machine gun whenever they want or do you want to throw the Constitution douwn the toilet?" I would have thought that a wealthy, successful man like Musk would be above this sort of crap, but I would have thought incorrectly. I would have at least thought there should be an option for "the mainstream media is in pretty bad shape at the moment and the proliferation of falsehoods purporting to be "news" on social media is making things considerably worse, but this is still a really dumb idea.
Problem is journos are under constant pressure to get max clicks & earn advertising dollars or get fired. Tricky situation, as Tesla doesn’t advertise, but fossil fuel companies & gas/diesel car companies are among world’s biggest advertisers.
Ooooh. I get it. You aren't interested in uncovering the truth, or determining which sources or trustworthy. You're just upset that Tesla got some negative press. And you want to be able to discredit any reporters who don't give you the fawning coverage you're used to. Okay, now it all makes sense!
Then it starts to get a little silly.
Even if some of the public doesn’t care about the credibility score, the journalists, editors & publications will. It is how they define themselves.
But you just said that all they care about is how many clicks and how much money they can pull in. Now you say that what they really care about is their credibility? And they define themselves by some credibility score that as yet does not exist and when it does exist will be decided upon by the same people who click on those "One Weird Trick" ads?
Thought you’d say that. Anytime anyone criticizes the media, the media shrieks “You’re just like Trump!” Why do you think he got elected in the first place? Because no ones believes you any more. You lost your credibility a long time ago.
Well. . . I mean. He's got a point. when you tweet things like:
The holier-than-thou hypocrisy of big media companies who lay claim to the truth, but publish only enough to sugarcoat the lie, is why the public no longer respects them https://t.co/Ay2DwCOMkr
One of the best shows I ever attended was a twin-bill at Bottom Of The Hill in San Francisco in the mid-Nineties.It was the Billy Nayer Show and the Legendary Stardust Cowboy. I didn't know a lot about "the Ledge" before that show. I'd heard Paralyzed on the radio, but that was about it. After that show, I was a fan for life.
Imagine, if you will, that you have a dog. You love this dog. But he's become rabid. And your family is in danger. Imagine saying "one of us has to keep an eye om the doggy door at all times and warn us if he tries to get in." And imagine saying "kids, when you come home from school, go straight to your rooms and lock the doors. Don't come out until you have your attack-dog-training suit on."
And imagine someone saying to you "maybe you should just get rid of the dog." And imagine replying "Hey, dogs are gonna bite. That's not the issue. The dog is not the problem. We just need to mitigate the damage the dog does when he attacks. Maybe get another, bigger dog to fight him."
That's pretty much the logic on display with the NRA's achool shield program.
Here's their lying lie of a mission statement:
We Have A Singular Mission: To Protect Our Children
School security is a complex issue with no simple, single solution.
Okay, I suppose that's true. Although, you know where it is less complex? England. And France. And Germany. And every other civilized nation on Earth that doesn't let kids get their hands on weapoms of death.
The National School Shield® program is committed to
addressing the many facets of school security, including best practices
in security infrastructure, technology, personnel, training, and policy.
Through this multidimensional effort, National School Shield® seeks to engage communities and empower leaders to help make our schools more secure.
You know. . . just when I thought these guys couldn't get any more disgusting.
First they make money by flooding the country with guns. Then when those guns inevitably kill a bunch of innocent kids, they step in to market "solutions." They're profiting off of murder coming and going.
There's an informative video on the site, but I can't get it to play, which is probably best for my fragile sanity anyway, but here are a few highlights from the text portion of the site:
Does the NRA support armed school personnel to protect students? The NRA believes every option should be considered when it
comes to protecting our children. When a threat occurs, a quick and
timely response by law enforcement professionals is what everyone hopes
for. However, in these situations - when time is clearly of the essence –
we strongly believe that trained school personnel can also serve a
vital role. As the first to face the threat, they can lead and implement
protocols designed to save lives.
Yeah. . . except. . . Santa Fe High had two armed law enforcement officers on campus, Marjorie Stoneman Douglas had at least one. None of them were particularly effective in preventing these killings. But I'm sure if you train the gym teacher thoroughly enough, he'll turn into John McLane and save the day.
Also. When you say "every option should be considered?" You know we know you're full of shit, right? Because you've been pretty adamant about not ever considering the most obvious option.
Oh, and here's a valuable service they provide:
The National School Shield’s Security Assessor Training seeks to
facilitate a partnership between schools and local stakeholders in a
shared commitment to more secure schools. At the conclusion of our
training, participants will be adequately primed to conduct standardized
school vulnerability assessments and assist schools in recognizing
strengths as well as potential vulnerabilities
Oh great! The NR fucking A is going to train completely unqualified randos to be "threat assessors." So get ready to see guys like this touring your kids' school!
And, not at all surprisingly:
Donate to National School Shield
Support the ongoing development and deployment of comprehensive tools
and resources designed to enhance the capacity of our nation’s schools
in identifying and managing security risks. Donate Now
Because if you've spent the last half hour reading about how every school is constantly under threat every minute of every day and no child is ever safe, you're probably going to be willing to fork over a few bucks to the ghouls who help to keep it that way - I mean, the competent professionals who can keep your child safe!
Actually, I really do wish I could get the video to play, but since I can't, I Googled the School Shiled program and found these interesting tidbits:
(via Mother Jones) The
report identifies perimeter fencing, made with material that “clearly
demonstrates territorial ownership,” as the “first physical and
psychological barrier that a violent individual must overcome.”
According to the report, the fences should not send a psychological
message that the school is vulnerable, like this (ordinary school)
fence: Instead, the fence should look more like this prison yard-style fence:
Holy God! This is the future these sick fucks envision. They want schools to look like prisons. They want kids going to school in America to feel like kids in the occupied territories or something, only feeling safe behind prison-like walls.
Research shows that students learn better and are less stressed when they can see some greenery
outside the classroom window. But according to the task force, trees
and bushes on school grounds should instead be viewed as major security
threats. They supposedly provide too many opportunities for a shooter to
stash weapons and hide from surveillance cameras. Shrubbery, according
to the report, is particularly bad if positioned next to the
aforementioned fence, lest all that foliage provide cover to someone
cutting through the fence or climbing over it.
This is not a forward operating base in Fallujah. This is school!
If a school insists on landscaping, the NRA recommends very kid-friendly “thorn-bearing and sharp-leaved plant species to create natural physical barriers to deter aggressors.”
What????
I get planting cacti or Mother in Law's Tongue by your windows at home to prevent burglaries, but school shooters just come in the front door, don't they? They aren't sneaking in like cat burglars, are they? This isn't going to make it harder for the shooters. All this would do is make it more difficult for kids to escape out the windows during a shooting.
The report does urge school leaders to keep in mind that such prickly
barriers might also prevent people from escaping a mad shooter.
According to the task force report, schools should be designed with an
eye toward 1970s-era post-riots urban architecture. Windows, if allowed
at all, should be designed solely with surveillance in mind. They should
be only large enough to peep out of to assess ongoing threats. “Design
windows, framing, and anchoring systems to minimize the effects of
explosive blasts, gunfire, and forced entry,” the report urges.
Sooooo. . . now it's a firetrap. Great going. Not only are these kids sitting perpetually frightened in a hot stuffy windowless room, now they have little chance of escaping safely from a fire. Or a shooter, for that matter.
The authors do acknowledge that this advice may conflict with the
school’s need to provide people fleeing a shooter with a secondary
escape route, noting that many people survived the Virginia Tech
shooting by climbing out windows.
So they know this. And they're recommending it anyway. Because they will do ANYTHING other than address the issue. THE DOG IS SICK! It's not going to get better. And you need to worry more about protecting your kids than about how much you love Fido.
So President Personality Disorder was giving a speech trying to whip up support for Republican candidates in the midterm, and this came out of his mouth hole:
"But if Democrats gain power, they will try to reverse these
incredible gains. These are historic gains. They will try and reverse
many of them. So your vote in 2018 is every bit as important as your
vote in 2016 -- although I'm not sure I really believe that, but you
know. (Laughter.) I don't know who the hell wrote that line. I'm not
sure. (Laughter and applause.) But it's still important."
He just can't help himself.
He just can't bring himself to just read the words on the screen without ad-libbing if those written words don't sufficiently puff up his own fragile ego.
He can't say that the 2018 election is just as important as 2016 because he's not running in 2018 so how could it possibly be as important if it doesn't involve him?
This is something beyond narcissism.
They're going to have to invent a new term for this kind of pathology.
Years from now, psychology students will be learning about "Il Douche Syndrome" or whatever they're going to call it and they'll raise their hands and ask the professor "was this based on a real person?" And the professor will say "God, I hope not!"
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