Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Arizona's Jan Brewer.

I didn't know much about Brewer other than that she is the heroine of the I-Hate-Mexicans crowd. But here's a video of her opening statement before a televised debate. This is her opening statement, not a response to a question. This is something she had time to prepare and rehearse. So there's really no excuse for this sorry performance. I don't know if she normally talks like this or maybe she showed up really really drunk.

(Videos stolen from Conversation 101)



Yikes! She's practically incoherent. She's Sarah Palin without the pseudo-charisma. I'm glad to hear that she changed everything in Arizona. Apparently, Arizona now has a mild climate, plentiful resources and a sane citizenry. And the Diamondbacks don't suck. She's done as much as anyone could possibly do!

But it gets worse. After the debate, some reporter has the temerity to ask her a question about a huge lie she told earlier. She takes another page from the Palin playbook and ignores the question altogether, opting instead to toss out talking points. Then she pulls a Sharron Angle and just turns tail and runs from the reporters.

Bob Gorrell Is Just Horrible

One of the nice things about living in Atlanta is that we get Pulitzer-Prize-winning editorial cartoonist Mike Lukovich in our newspaper. Unfortunately, there are only so many comics he can do per week, so the paper fills in the gaps with hacks like Bob Gorrell. Here's a recent example:


Oh, poverty! What a rich vein of comedy gold you are!


Here's another:

I mean, seriously, what can you even say about this? If I accept your retarded premise that the "Ground Zero Mosque" (which is neither a mosque nor at ground zero) represents terrorists murdering 3000 innocent people, then I have a hard time seeing how electing a president you don't like is somehow equivalent to that. I mean, that's just in really really bad taste.

Ooh, good one! You're the first person to notice that "Twitter" contains the word "Twit!" Well crafted! And how timely, given that Twitter is something totally brand new that just now burst on to the scene so you can really be on the vanguard of mocking it! Well done!

Oh, biting satire! It's funny because no other first family has ever gone on a vacation in US history, and no first family has ever required secret service protection while on said vacation. Ever. Good job pointing out that things cost money!




Yes, a minaret would totally impale America. Having another mosque in Manhattan would actually KILL America. It would run right through Uncle Sam Junior's gut. Not that Manhattan counts as the real America, except for 9/11-related purposes.




I'm not sure I even get this one. I guess Obama's failure to fix the mortgage crisis that began under the Bush Administration is going to hurt his chances for re-election? And that's funny because. . . um . . . because look how big his ears are! Ha! Got 'im! Zing!

You'd think I would have had to scour the archives to find so many examples of Bob Gorrell's hackery, but no. These are all from August, 2010. One month. Really. He's just really that bad.

This is Not a Debate.

It's not a debate if one side is just making shit up.


(from Yahoo News)

Glenn Beck rally sparks debate over crowd size

Glenn Beck kicked off Monday's radio show by thanking the many attendees at Saturday's "Restoring Honor" rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial — at least 500,000 by his count.

Republican U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann told supporters shortly after the rally that "we're not going to let anyone get away with saying there were less than a million here today — because we were witnesses."

Okay, I'm no expert on crowd-size-estimating, but look at the photo.

I gotta say that that crowd looks like it could fit into a good-sized baseball stadium. There is no way in hell that there is anywhere near half a million people there. But like I said, I'm no expert. So what did the experts have to say?

(from CBS)

Glenn Beck Rally Attracts Estimated 87,000

An estimated 87,000 people attended a rally organized by talk-radio host and Fox News commentator Glenn Beck Saturday in Washington, according to a crowd estimate commissioned by CBS News.

The company AirPhotosLive.com based the attendance on aerial pictures it took over the rally, which stretched from in front of the Lincoln Memorial along the Reflecting Pool to the Washington Monument.

So, okay, that is a lot for a baseball stadium, but they could easily be contained in a college football stadium.

So, this seems like a pretty simple scam they're running. You toss out a number which you know good and well is ridiculously inflated, then when the press reports a legitimate estimate, you cry "liberal bias."

It's like if I said that the San Francisco Giants won the most recent World Series. You could look it up and you'd say "according to Sports Illustrated, ESPN and The Sporting News, the Giants did not win the World Series, due largely to their having failed to qualify for the playoffs. The World Series was won by the New York Yankees over the Philadelphia Phillies." And I would look you right in the eye and reply "Oh, the sports media has a well-known East Coast bias. West Coast teams never get any respect," and you'd know that there is just no reasoning with me. But if I had a show on FOX, you'd be forced to pretend to take me seriously, and the headlines would read "Debate Continues Over World Series Winner."

And speaking of World series winners, what the hell is this?

St. Louis Cardinals baseball player Albert Pujols, foreground, hugs his manager Tony La Russa as he wears his medal at the Glenn Beck 'Restoring Honor' rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington

God damn it, La Russa! It's not bad enough that you've turned the last three innings of major league baseball games into an assembly line of relief pitchers, none of whom may pitch any more or less than one inning, now you're a Becky? You're throwing your lot in with the Birthers, Deathers, Birchers and Truthers that populate the Tea Party "movement"?

And you're dragging Albert Pujols into this mess? At least I will give Pujols the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to language barrier. Maybe he thought you had invited him to go see Beck.

and Oh, My God, you not only attended, you actually spoke at this "Hey, everybody, let's all take a huge dump on Dr. King's grave" festival? You really wanted to share the dais with Sarah Palin?

And here's the video of your cure-for-insomnia speech honoring Albert Pujols. It's nice to hear about honesty, integrity and truth from the man who turned a blind eye while Canseco, McGwire, Giambi, and Tejada shot steroids like junkies who just inherited money.



And here's your audience, by the way:

Nice to see that they are bringing the gravitas that this event deserves..

I'm Not Easily Horrified, But. . .

AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!


I took this photo at an otherwise really cool food shop/restaurant called Aunt B's on Dauphin Island, Alabama.

Apparently, this is really a thing that people really do eat.

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Rhode Island Democrat Chris Young. Chris would like to be the mayor of Providence. He believes that the best way to accomplish that goal is to use the small amount of TV time allocated to him to sing a really bad gospel song that he wrote badly. And sing it really badly.



Oh, man. That poor reporter can't get rid of him fast enough!


Also, he does this:



Chris Brown's main issue is abortion, which is not all that unusual. He does however have his own unusual take on the subject:

(from the Brown Daily Herald)

On the issues
To Young, the biggest issue the country faces is abortion.

“Abortion is tied to all the economic problems that are occurring in this country,” Young said.

Okaaaaaay. . . . .

Young said he also believes abortion is a form of eugenics, through which pro-choice advocates are encouraging the racial cleansing of blacks. A disproportionately large number of abortions involve low-income, black women, he said.

“This is the new civil rights issue of this country,” Young said of his theory of racial cleansing. “You’re on the ground floor of an issue that will be exposed. It will be exposed.”

I'm sure it will be, Chris. It'll be exposed. Why don't you have a nice lie-down now?

he opposes legislation. . . to tax students, and instead seeks to find a way to tax universities without burdening their students.

“These university presidents make hundreds of thousands of dollars in salaries. Why should the students have to pay? (Universities) should just not pay their staff as much,” he said.

Oh, sure. Yeah, that'll happen.

Universities seem to be a bit of a sore point with Chris:

Taking money from universities to give to municipalities would “decrease the power that these little ‘quasi-governments’ are taking away from the public interest,” he said. He said he advocates taxing universities’ properties as well as their trusts and also wishes to remove their abilities to arm their police forces.

And there's this story, headlined:

Charges dropped, but Young still banned from campus

which includes this little snippet:

Young said the University has not yet contacted him about its December order that he not enter University property. The order was issued in a “retaliatory manner” for his vocal opposition to the arming of Brown police and the University’s tax-exempt status, Young said.

“Their agenda, clearly, is also tied to my desire to investigate Ruth Simmons and her role with Goldman Sachs as well as her role on the Council on Foreign Relations and why these university presidents are making so much money,” he said.

No one ever mentions the Council on Foreign Relations who isn't totally sane and rational!

So, if you live in Providence, Rhode Island, please consider Chris Young for mayor. He may be crazy, but at least he's nuts!