Thursday, October 21, 2010

Kathleen Parker is Not a Witch. But she is Awful.

In an apparent attempt to accelerate its downward plunge from respectability, the Atlanta Journal Constitution has started running the syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker. I don't know what we did to deserve this. Her most recent turd of a column ran under the headline

Sisterhood's Perils: Women as dumb as men

and it opens with this line from MacBeth:

- Fair is foul, and foul is fair. There's something witchy in the air.

because you can't dicscuss women in politics without a bunch of "witch" references! That would just be silly!

http://davelandweb.com/gallery/images/witch.jpg

"I am not a witch," insists Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell in an ad that forever will provide the exclamation point on a bewildering political season. Not since Salem have we witnessed such witchification of women who dared stray from the cauldron of the sisterhood.


There are so many things wrong with that 2-sentence paragraph one hardly knows where to begin.
Perhaps one might begin by pointing out that NO ONE has accused Christine O'Donnell of being a witch. No one has "witchified" her. The only person who brought up witchery in relation to Christine O'Donnell was Christine O'Donnell. Parker's implication seems to be that O'Donnell was treated as a witch or subject to "witchification" because she dared to break with I don't know, feminist orthodoxy or something which has upset the feminists who are, of course, the real witches. To sum up, how dare you call someone a witch? Now get back to your cauldron, you hags!

The only way Parker's above paragraph would make any sense is if she saw the "I'm not a witch" ad, had no idea to what O'Donnell was referring, was too lazy to google "O'Donnell + witch" and just assumed that someone must have accused her of witchery, else why would she feel the need to deny being a witch? And since O'Donnell is a right-wing-nut, it must have been those darn feminists, that "cackle of rads" who were responsible! That's just journalism101!

Now, we hear, female candidates aren't witches after all. Too rhymey with the B-word in these enlightened times.


Yeah, that's why. It's not because witches don't exist (at least not the cackling, cauldron-stirring spell-casting brides of Satan type of witches. I don't know whether Wicca priestesses refer to themselves as witches, can anyone enlighten me?) But yeah, it turns out that female candidates aren't witches for the sole reason that the word "witch" is too close to "the B-word." That's the reason. Although I would suggest you consult with the secretary of State as to how reluctant commentators are to use the "B-word" in reference to female politicians.

Do some of the women running on the GOP ticket make us cringe with embarrassment? Let me answer that question with a 2007 quote from O'Donnell:

"American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

Double, double toil and trouble, indeed

.

No! Not indeed. What does O'Donnell's nuttiness and ignorance have to do with witches? Why even throw that in there? You've already impressed us with your familiarity with MacBeth, you don't need another quote.


http://www.clipartpal.com/_thumbs/pd/holiday/halloween/witches_cauldron.png

Alas, it is not the first time a political candidate has become befuddled by facts beyond their ken. To which fact one hastily adds: Female and male.

Although it probably is the first time any candidate has said anything that bizarrely insane and still been considered a serious candidate.

. . . men and women can be equally dumbfounded and equally "mean," if in sometimes gender-tilted ways. What is gratifying about this season is that we have enough women running that we can criticize them without resorting to the old catfight canard.


Yes, we can skip over the old "catfight" canard and go straight to the "coven of witches" trope. I can't wait 'till we move on to the "harpies" meme or the "Medusa" allusion!

http://www.the-last-unicorn.net/images/Harpy-2B.jpg
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6otV1vMtL3OhPStnyNIgg6cedP_AM1g42huPb2H3rs3KgylfslVBYbibA3d02ZL0VDdy5Gg2KvO31VP471d1wgw0Ol8KW0uTxLhgs6WAvxbSCsxkYJsj50I8pJzm5Az_3AF6AGHdoPAI/s400/medusa.JPG

Some women, just like some men, are simply unqualified and should be "refudiated" on their merits or the lack thereof. That Queen Bee Sarah has led the hive of busy benefactors, meanwhile, should be cause for a celebration of sorts


How so? What is there to celebrate about this development? Palin has made it easier for women to be taken seriously as political candidates as long as they are inane, insane, and abstain in vain?

I'm 3-for-3!

That Queen Bee Sarah has led the hive of busy benefactors, meanwhile, should be cause for a celebration of sorts -- and would be if the brewing brood were Democrats.


Really? Seriously? That's what you're going with? You're gonna stick with that, then? If a Democratic woman had threatened "Second Amendment Remedies," another democratic woman had claimed that Hezbollah agents were traveling to Mexico, learning Spanish and jumping the border, and a Democratic woman had claimed that the CIA was performing secret experiments on the people of Kansas, that would be a cause for celebration? Willfully ignorant, empty-headed lunatics being taken seriously as candidates for high office should not be celebrated no matter the lunatics' party affiliation, gender or whatever. We already have enough brain-dead loonies in positions of responsibility.

http://thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/07/brownbacksign.jpg
http://media.eyeblast.org/newsbusters/static/2010/03/Inhofe%20Al%20%27First%20Potential%20Climate%20Billionaire%27%20Gore%20Running%20for%20Cover.jpg
http://www.appletreeblog.com/wp-content/2009/05/ron-paul-crazy.jpg

. . . and would be if the brewing brood were Democrats. Why, a swell of liberal women threatening to take over the Congress with tough, manhood-withering talk would have the sisterhood in cackles.


Again with the cackles?

It is a testament to feminism that we have so many female candidates.

Of course, that's not going to stop me from trashing those darn feminists!
Freakin' witches!



Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This Thomas Lady Has Some Freakin Balls!


Nearly two decades after their "she said, he said" public battle, Anita Hill and Justice Clarence Thomas are back in the news. The reason? Thomas' wife, Virginia "Ginni" Thomas, left a voice mail message seeking an apology from Hill


An apology from Hill?

Oh, yeah, sorry Mrs. Thomas. Clearly I was in the wrong for being both a woman and attractive, thus forcing your husband to drool creepily on me, show me porn, and joke about gross pubes. I sure hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me!

In a statement to CNN, Virginia “Ginni” Thomas said: “I did place a call to
Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years,
in hopes that we could ultimately get passed [sic] what happened so long ago.
That offer still stands

Um, I don't think you understand what the term "olive branch" means.

Extending an olive branch would go something more like "Hey, I know my gross creepy husband got all skeevy with you a while back, but that doesn't mean you and I can't be friends!"

Or "I'm really sorry that my husband is a predatory pig-man. And I'm sorry that telling the truth about his loutish behavior resulted in your being slandered and defamed in a lot of horrible ways. Say the word and I'll kick him repeatedly in the balls while shouting 'this is for Anita!'"

Asking passive-agressively for an apology from the woman your husband mistreated, not really an "olive branch."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Why is Massey Energy Still Allowed to Run Coal Mines?

You would think that causing the death of 29 of your employees would make you take safety a bit more seriously.

Feds: Inspectors Cite Dozens of Mines in
September
Feds find hundreds of mine safety violations in W.Va., Ky., other
states during September



Federal inspectors issued nearly 600 citations
for safety violations found at 30 problem mining operations across the country
in September, the Mine Safety and Health Administration said Tuesday.

"We are beginning to see signs of improvement at some mines, an
indication that these impact inspections are making a difference," MSHA director
Joe Main said. "Some continue to violate standards and place miners at risk."

Among those are Massey, Main said.

A Sept. 28 inspection
uncovered serious safety violations at Richmond, Va.-based Massey's Seng Creek
Powellton Mine, about 40 miles south of Charleston. Among other things, a
foreman acknowledged skipping mandatory tests for explosive gases.

"With over 7,000 trained members, some still make errors in judgment,"
Massey spokesman Jeff Gillenwater said.

Errors in Judgement? You know what an error in judgement is? Me deciding to eat ice cream last night. That was an error in judgement. Deciding to put lives at risk by intentionally violating the law? That's not an error in judgement. I don't know what to call it, but it's a little more than an error in judgement. By your standard, John Dillinger made a lot of errors in judgement every time he entered a bank.

You know, when you say shit like that, you make it pretty obvious that you're just not taking this seriously.

Although maybe you don't have to. Maybe you're just stalling for time until Rand Paul and the rest of the loonie libertarian anti-government teabagger brigade comes to Washington and makes it completely legal to kill your employees in the name of increased profits.

And the righties will still complain that there's too much regulation.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Birthday, Chuck Berry

84 years ago today, one of the all-time greats in the history of American pop music was born.



Chuck Berry will always be remembered for the "duck walk" and the signature riff, but he never does get enough credit as one of the all-time great songwriters.

That's why EVERYONE covers Chuck Berry:






















“If you had to give rock’n’roll another name, you might call it Chuck Berry” -John Lennon
“Why should I write songs when Chuck Berry wrote them all?” -George Thorogood

Sharron Angle's Handlers Still Letting Her Speak in Public

From the Las Vegas Sun:

Here is Sharron Angle speaking to a group of Hispanic students:

"So that’s what we want is a secure and sovereign nation and, you know, I don’t know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me. I don’t know that. [Note: it's the Hispanic Student Union. The whole room is Hispanic teenagers.]


Because if you want to win over a group of minorities, your best bet is to go with some variation of "Ah, I can't tell any of you apart!"

What we know, what we know about ourselves is that we are a melting pot in this country. My grandchildren are evidence of that. I’m evidence of that. I’ve been called the first Asian legislator in our Nevada State Assembly."


Yeah, I don't think anyone has ever called you that, Ma'am. I think maybe you heard wrong. Maybe they said you were the first Aging masturbator in the State Assembly. Maybe they said you were the first Crustacean in the State Assembly. Maybe someone said that you were the biggest frustration in the State Assembly.

UPDATE: The Angle campaign says she made that remark about being the first Asian legislator because "a reporter thought she looked Asian."


Has no one in Nevada ever seen an Asian person?

It's not that difficult. Check it out:

http://www.jetstreaker.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/jet-li.jpg

Asian Man

http://www.famouspeoplebiography411.com/images/Famous-Latin-People.jpg

Hispanic Man

http://i4.tinypic.com/4kav47m.jpg

Asian Lady

http://hghadvanced.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Middle_Aged_lady-265x300.jpg

White Lady

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7D2VMGXW2tgw8UmVyAgQ1hw4CLy7eK3FpT7zCNnS2DDKcHhIHzTJPxwg_YjVlLcSMEh7XFWCyGp_o3_Gm95uUSE4Q1JtJcNZ1PkzVqaCcfQoj1QFc501T_-tBdGVp3KRtExyo-ZaSnBo/s320/47a196f25413btn%5B1%5D-747112.jpg

Crazy Asian Lady

http://images.politico.com/global/news/101004_sharron_angle.jpg

Crazy White Lady


I suppose at this point, Angle should get points for not pulling at the corners of her eyes and chanting "Ching chong, me love you long time!"
http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/chop_suey_specs.jpg


UPDATE: Crooks & Liars has the video:



She's even stupider than I thought!