Yes, Yes, More of This, Please!

Republicans Pray to Satan at the GOP Convention as Romney and His Surrogates Lie to Make Mainstream the Mormon Cult

Contact: Rev. William Keller, LivePrayer.com, 727-420-7005 

Yes, we need more of these nut-ball reverends telling their flocks not to vote for Republicans because of the scary scary Mormons.

 

Terrifying!

ST PETERSBURG, Fla., Aug. 131, 2012 /Christian Newswire/ -- Bill Keller, the world's leading Internet Evangelist and the founder of LivePrayer.com, with over 2.4 million subscribers worldwide reading the Daily Devotional he has written every morning for 13 years on the issues of the day from a Biblical worldview, was horrified as he watched a Mormon cult member lead mostly Biblical Christians at the Republican Convention last night in a prayer to Satan, since Mormons do not pray to the God of the Bible, but to a mythical "god" they believe who was once a man!

Hmm, a god who was once a man? Why does that sound vaguely familiar . . . .

  

Mormons like Romney believe the Bible is a flawed and an incomplete book, 

To be fair, it is a little light on character development. I mean, the guy is born perfect, lives a perfect life, then dies perfect. What kind of a character arc is that?

"Mitt Romney, Glenn Beck, and all Mormons LIE that they are Christians, when their beliefs are in 100% contradiction to Biblical Christianity. They love to tout their charity and good works as Romney and his surrogates did at the GOP convention to influence people, but good works and charity do NOT make you a Christian,

Only hating the gays does that, apparently.

 Keller is disgusted that the media is so theologically ignorant of what Mormons believe,

Because really, the job of a journalist is mostly to explain complex theological principles.

He said in a recent interview that the better percentage of two full generations have never even been in church,

What? Where the hell would you come up with that? Almost everyone has been in a church, at least for a wedding or a funeral or something. 

. . . if Romney is elected President his cult will become mainstream and well over 1 million souls in this country alone will end up buying into the false gospel of the Mormon cult and their souls spending forever in hell.

Because most folks choose their religion based on what does the president believe?

 

Currently America's most popular minister

Keller recently set up a sister site to his 13 year site Liveprayer.com that is the world's largest interactive Christian website, www.votingforjesus.com, encouraging people to say no to the anti-God President Obama and the satanic cult member Mitt Romney, by writing in the name of JESUS for President

Anti-God? Barack Obama can't be anti-God, he worships at least two of them! (You know, 'cuz the Muslim thing. And the Rev Wright thing. Never mind.)

. . . writing in the name of JESUS for President to make a statement that the real problems of this nation are NOT political, but spiritual. So far, over 360,000 have made that commitment!

 Oh please, oh please, oh please let those people live in swing states!

Clint Eastwood is incoherent, confused, angry. A protoypical Republican.

 I did not see Clint Eastwood's speech last night, but from what I've been able to gather, it was a fucking train wreck. Don't the Romney people preview these things before they trot them out before a national television audience?

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, what’s a movie tradesman doing out here? You know they are all left wingers out there, left of Lenin. At least that is what people think. That is not really the case. There are a lot of conservative people, a lot of moderate people, Republicans, Democrats, in Hollywood. It is just that the conservative people by the nature of the word itself play closer to the vest. They do not go around hot dogging it.

That has certainly not been my experience. Even in Northern California, I was used to seeing sights like this:

 

I've never known a conservative to be shy about expressing his beliefs on any subject.

So -- but they are there, believe me, they are there. I just think, in fact, some of them around town, I saw Jon Voight, a lot of people around...
(APPLAUSE)
Jon’s here, an academy award winner. A terrific guy. 

He's also batshit insane and there's some reason his daughter wants nothing to do with him, so sure, good example.

Jon’s here, an academy award winner. A terrific guy. These people are all like-minded, like all of us.
So I -- so I’ve got Mr. Obama sitting here. 

No, you don't. You've got an empty chair sitting there, I promise you.
 Also, it's President Obama, not "mister."

So, Mr. President, how do you handle promises that you have made when you were running for election, and how do you handle them?

Um, Mr. Eastwood, why are you here making a speech and why are you making it?

 I mean, what do you say to people? Do you just -- you know -- I know -- people were wondering -- you don’t -- handle that OK. Well, I know even people in your own party were very disappointed when you didn’t close Gitmo. And I thought, well closing Gitmo -- why close that, we spent so much money on it. But, I thought maybe as an excuse -- what do you mean shut up?

Jesus Christ, even the voices in your head are telling you to shut up!
You know, I'm sure the Nazis spent a lot of money on Auschwitz, should that have remained open too?

OK, I thought maybe it was just because somebody had the stupid idea of trying terrorists in downtown New York City.
(APPLAUSE)

You mean the same New York City where we tried and convicted the original WTC bombers? The New York City where the crimes of 9/11 were committed? That New York City? Why is it now just considered too scary to try these guys in New York? You know they don't have any superpowers, right? They have boxcutters. If they're lucky. If one of these guys got acquitted, he wouldn't make it from the courthouse steps to a cab before some mooks from Brooklyn were dumping his ass into the Hudson River.

I'm pretty sure these two could kick every ass in Gitmo.

I know you were against the war in Iraq, and that’s okay. But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK. You know, I mean -- you thought that was something worth doing. We didn’t check with the Russians to see how did it -- they did there for 10 years.

So, you're slamming Obama for not disagreeing with Bush, and that gets applause? These delegates were the same ones who cheered Bush on for eight disastrous years, extolling his every decision, and now they're all like "yeah, fuck you for not knowing what a dumbshit decision Bush was making!"
And I'm guessing that when Barack Obama thought that invading Afghanistan was a good idea, he didn't anticipate that Bush would get bored after a year and pull half the troops out to invade Iraq, leaving the other half with no clear mission because he decided he no longer cared about bin Laden.

(APPLAUSE)
But we did it, and it is something to be thought about, and I think that, when we get to maybe -- I think you’ve mentioned something about having a target date for bringing everybody home. You gave that target date, and I think Mr. Romney asked the only sensible question, you know, he says, “Why are you giving the date out now? Why don’t you just bring them home tomorrow morning?”

Um, maybe because bringing hundreds of thousands of troops home safely from a hostile foreign country is a very complex and difficult operation? You don't just wire them money to buy a bus ticket home, you know.

And I thought -- I thought, yeah -- I am not going to shut up, it is my turn.
(LAUGHTER)

 Oh my God, you're fighting with someone who isn't there. And you're losing!

So anyway, we’re going to have -- we’re going to have to have a little chat about that. And then, I just wondered, all these promises -- I wondered about when the -- what do you want me to tell Romney? I can’t tell him to do that. I can’t tell him to do that to himself.
(APPLAUSE)
You’re crazy, you’re absolutely crazy. You’re getting as bad as Biden.
(APPLAUSE)
Of course we all now Biden is the intellect of the Democratic party.
(LAUGHTER)
Kind of a grin with a body behind it.

You mean the Joe Biden who crafted the Violence Against Women Act? The Joe Biden who wrote the legislation that created the "Drug Czar" position?  The Joe Biden who was chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee?  That Joe Biden? You're really going to act like he's some kind of lightweight because he shoots his mouth off from time to time?

But I just think that there is so much to be done, and I think that Mr. Romney and Mr. Ryan are two guys that can come along. See, I never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to the president, anyway.

Yeah, how could an attorney possibly be decent president?

 

Only three of these guys were attorneys!

But yeah, Mr. Romney and Mr. Ryan are certainly "two guys that can come along," I'll concede that point.

I think attorneys are so busy -- you know they’re always taught to argue everything, and always weight everything -- weigh both sides...

Yeah, what kind of an asshole would weigh both sides of an issue?

  They are always devil’s advocating this and bifurcating this and bifurcating that. You know all that stuff. But, I think it is maybe time -- what do you think -- for maybe a businessman. How about that?
(APPLAUSE)

We just had one of those!



He's the one that got us into this mess, don't you remember? Two wars on the credit card,  including the one you were just now talking shit about, remember? We don't need another one of those.

A stellar businessman. Quote, unquote, “a stellar businessman.”

Um, ususally when you use the phrase "quote, unquote" you're implying that what you're about to say is insincere or sarcastic, like "Clint Eastwood is a quote, unquote 'actor.'"

(and yes, I know there are people out there who think Clint Eastwood was a good actor. Those people are wrong.  Spitting out every line between clenched teeth while giving your seething anger look is not good acting.)

And I think it’s that time. And I think if you just step aside and Mr. Romney can kind of take over. You can maybe still use a plane.
(APPLAUSE)
Though maybe a smaller one. Not that big gas guzzler you are going around to colleges and talking about student loans and stuff like that.
(APPLAUSE)
You are an -- an ecological man. Why would you want to drive that around?OK, well anyway. All right, I’m sorry. I can’t do that to myself either.

Why? Maybe because it's Air Force One, and President Obama doesn't actually "drive" the plane, there is a professional pilot who flies the plane.

 But I just think it is important that you realize , that you’re the best in the world. Whether you are a Democrat or Republican or whether you’re libertarian or whatever, you are the best. And we should not ever forget that.

Yes, Mr. Eastwood, everyone is the best. Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, they're all the best!

  

Now let's take our pill and have a nice nap, shall we?

We don’t have to be -- what I’m saying, we do not have to be metal (ph) masochists and vote for somebody that we don’t really even want in office just because they seem to be nice guys or maybe not so nice guys, if you look at some of the recent ads going out there, I don’t know.

  

The least disturbing image that came up for "Metal Masochist."

But OK. You want to make my day?
(APPLAUSE)
All right. I started, you finish it. Go ahead.
AUDIENCE: Make my day!
EASTWOOD: Thank you. Thank you very much.

Wow!
I just don't know what they could have been thinking with this. Whose idea was this?
How is Romney supposed to be able to run a country when he can't even run a campaign?

Ann Romney's Tales of Woe

Episode 1: The Lean Years.







When Mitt and I were first married, we lived in a tiny basement apartment, eating tuna and pasta while Mitt attended Harvard. Our only source of income was the huge stock portfolio that Mitt's father had given him that we were able to sell of a little at a time. Why, at one point, things looked so bleak that we thought one of us might have to go out and get a job! A job, can you imagine?

 

Of course, I was no stranger to hardship, being the daughter of immigrants. By which I mean my grandfather came from Wales. It still pains me to remember how people would sometimes have trouble understanding something he said, or would comment on how he had a "cool accent." Many a time people mistook him for Tom Jones! 

Being the daughter of immigrants was sure tough! The town we lived in was only the fifth most affluent town in the United States.  Do you know that over 50 percent of the homes there are worth less than one million dollars? Thank God we made it out of that slum!

Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Join me next time for Ann Romney's Tales of Woe when I tell the heartbreaking story "I Married a Robot."

Some Observations on the RNC

I have not watched a minute of the Republican Convention. I just can't put myself through that, no matter how many potential laughs there are.

I assume it looks a little something like this:

 

But from what I'm hearing, some weird shit is going on there. For one thing, none of the speeches are about Mitt Romney. The speeches could all have been written before they chose the nominee. Mitt Romney is the Johnny Bravo of politics. They had the songs, they just needed a guy who fit the suit.

 

The one speech that was about Mitt was delivered by Ann Romney who was then completely punked by Chris Christie

  

I want to talk to you about LOVE!

Love is for sissies, we want respect!

Also Ann Romney is weird. For one thing, when she shouts "I Love you Women!" she sounds like Lyle the effeminate heterosexual stating his dedication to heterosexuality.

 

I love Vagiiiiiiinas!!!

And what she loves so much about women is that "we are the mothers, the daughters, the sisters, the grandmothers. . ." Yes, being related to other people, that's quite a fucking accomplishment.  That's really the best you could come up with? You do know that women do actual things, right? Oh, I guess you probably didn't know that.

And now she's out talking to Latina women, I wonder how that's going?

 

Artist's rendition

 

Ann Romney Woos Hispanic Voters,

 Urging They Get Past ‘Their Biases’ 

Really, Ann?

"You’d better really look at your future and figure out who’s going to be the guy that’s going to make it better for you and your children. . . 

Because Latinas just love being lectured to by condescending rich white ladies!

“It really is a message that would resonate well if they could just get past some of their biases that have been there from the Democratic machines that have made us look like we don’t care about this community,” Romney said. “And that is not true. We very much care about you and your families and the opportunities that are there for you and your families.”

We just want those opportunities to be in Mexico or Guatemawhatsitcalled, wherever you people are from. Why are you so biased against us?

She stressed her immigrant roots, mentioning that her grandfather was Welsh.

“I know what it’s like to be the daughter of immigrants,” she said

Um, yeah, daughter and granddaughter are not the same thing. You are the granddaughter of an immigrant who, by the way, came from an English-speaking country and was white, so it's a little different experience from what a Juanita Torres might have.

And we all know you grew up rich, so don't act like you have anything in common with first-generation Mexican-Americans.

Romney praised the first lady of Puerto Rico, Luce Fortuno, who introduced her last night, calling them “kindred spirits.”

“What she and her husband are doing on that little island is quite remarkable. You should be so proud,”

Well, it's just adorable how you folks on that precious little island are just really doing so great and all!

And lastly, are the Republicans seriously going with a convention theme based around an intentional misconstruing of something that the president said? There is really no low to which these people will not sink.

Bobby Jindal is horrible. Really, just completely horrible.

I saw a Bobby Jindal bumper sticker today. Bobby Jindal! And the car had Georgia plates, so I can only assume that this driver is envious of Louisiana and wishes we had a dead-eyed dimwitted dullard in our state house instead of whatever it is we do have.

 Probably.

Anyway, so I wondered what Bobby Jindal was up to now. More exorcisms? More disastrous public speaking? Not quite.

(via The Hill)

Jindal wants more help from Obama with storm

By Jonathan Easley - 08/28/12 09:54 AM ET 

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) on Monday sent a letter to President Obama saying the federal government was not doing enough to help Louisiana cover the expenses it’s taking on in preparation for Tropical Storm Isaac.
“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm,” Jindal said in his letter.

 Wow! That is just a stunning level of hypocrisy, especially considering that Jindal is best known for mocking the Federal government's spending on volcano monitoring. I guess that if you live in a stste that is threatened by hurricanes, Big Brother should step in and help you, but if the threat in your state is a volcano, then suck it up, ya wuss, try being self-reliant for once!

President Obama on Monday declared a state of emergency for Louisiana, which is expected to be in the path of Tropical Storm Isaac.  


The action by Obama makes federal funding to the state available immediately, but Jindal said it “only provides for direct federal assistance” and doesn’t “provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm.”

Also, Waaaah!!! Waaaahhhh!!!

Oh, no! The big bad federal government is not spending enough money for this bitchy little teabagger? Funny how all of a sudden, maybe government spending isn't so bad after all?

Also, you're supposed to spend money preparing for storms. Why would you complain about not being reimbursed for money that your state is spending to protect the residents of your state? Why would someone else pay for that? That's why you're supposed to collect taxes, genius.

Jindal said Monday that he would not attend the Republican National Convention this week. He had been expected to speak on Tuesday night in the middle of a program dominated by popular Republican governors, leading up to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's keynote address.


Let me guess what the subject of Jindal's speech was going to be.  Um, "Federal government bad, me no like?" or  "Government spend too much, me cut size of government?" or " Federal government stay out of states' business?" Or maybe "Ugh, Oop, Fire Bad!"

Kind of hard to play the austere fiscal deficit hawk while demanding more federal money at the same time.

 Also, Jindal's been a little busy lately handing taxpayer money to private voucher schools that teach things like the Loch Ness Monster disproves evolution and the Klan wasn't really all that bad. (seriously!)

Mother Jones has a list of 14 wacky "facts" these schools are teaching, using textbooks from Bob Jones University Press and other right-wing bullshit publishers. A couple of examples:

Slave masters were nice guys: "A few slave holders were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated their slaves well."—United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 1991

GIFSoup

As if that were even possible. You by definition can not be treating well someone you are enslaving. 

The KKK was A-OK: "[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians."—United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001

GIFSoup

In some communities it achieved a certain respectability because those communities were made up of racist assholes.

The Great Depression wasn't as bad as the liberals made it sound: "Perhaps the best known work of propaganda to come from the Depression was John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath…Other forms of propaganda included rumors of mortgage foreclosures, mass evictions, and hunger riots and exaggerated statistics representing the number of unemployed and homeless people in America."—United States History: Heritage of Freedom, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1996

 Rumors of things that were actually happening all the time all over the place? How propagandistic! (is that a word? Probably not)

This one's a Beka Book. I hadn't ever heard of Beka Books, so I looked them up.

For one thing, it's not "a Beka Book." It's an "A Beka Book," for whatever that's worth.

Anyway, here's their mission statement:

A Beka Book provides Christian schools and homeschools with outstanding curriculum and textbooks built on a foundation of academic excellence and Christian character training. Schools and homeschools benefit from our treasury of textbooks and teaching materials that reflect the very best in traditional education, comprehensive curriculum, and eternal truths.

Like the eternal truth that great depressions aren't really all that bad.


 Here's their take on Mathematics:

The text presents a Scriptural view of working, tithing, saving, paying taxes, and budgeting time and money and gives a positive introduction to the American free-enterprise system. 

Because what better source of mathematics than the Bible, a book which never mentions anything about math!
Here's a blurb about one of their history texts:

Land I Love presents the history of America from the 1490s to the present with special emphasis on the personalities and events that shaped the American character. A variety of illustrations, maps, and photographs invite students to explore the past as they read this fascinating narrative account of U.S. history. Through the story of America’s rise to greatness, students will learn to recognize the hand of God in history and to appreciate the influence of Christianity in government, economics, and society.

So, will students learn to see the hand of God in our overthrow of Allende and installation of the man for whom the phrase "death squad" was coined? Or maybe they'll see the hand of God in the Trail of Tears, or the slave trade. Or maybe the hand of God will be evident in the section about the bombing of Cambodia, or the Contra war. It all seems so very godly.


Anyway, you can pretty much expect to see this sort of thing coming soon to a school near you, because if you don't think that the Louisiana model isn't going to be used as a template by the Moral Majority types who have been taking over local school boards for the last 30 years, you are more of an optimist than I.

 

Just Horrible.