They Just Keep Getting Dumber

I thought the Kavanaugh supporters had reached peak stupid when they all got excited over that guy who used Googl;e maps ans Zillow to "prove" that it couldn't have been Kavanaugh who assaulted young Christine Blasey (Ford) and was, in fact, another guy who maybe sorta resembled  Kavanaugh - which is libel and I hope to God the "doppelganger" sues the hell out of that idiot.
 I thought that was as dumb as they could get.
Then I went on Twitter.
And I was introduced to some person or persons called "Well Aware 1."

According to Well Aware 1, Brett Kavanaugh could not possibly have assaulted young Christine Blasey because Christine Blasey -Ford DOES NOT EXIST!

Not only is the woman purporting to be Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford N OT CDr. Christine Blasey Ford, the deep state or whoever is trying to "take down" poor sweet innocent Brett, hired an actress to pretend to be her.

And not some unknown aspiring thespian that no one would recognize. No, they went out and hired television and film star Amy Schumer to play the part!






Yes, as teens, Christine Blasey and Amy Schumer had very similar-looking smiles. So why would you think it matters that their eyes and noses are different? And their cheekbones/? As any police detective or prosecuter will tell you "if the smile is the same, you've got the same dame!"



And it's not just this one photo, just listen to all the sciencey parts that make up this airtight case of  face science:

For facial landmarks, we have to look at the structure due to the makeup used, and we can see the glabella and philtrum are a match.  Its impossible to change the distance between the eyes but it can be done with lens distortion.  So a single means of biometric measurement cannot be used to count out a person, but it can be used along with other methods to confirm.  The sum of the biometric information in this investigation is unquestionable.

A graphic Jon from our team created to demonstrate the facial shape is the same. Even her hair growth pattern is the same.  Or her style with her extensions has not been changed is more the case.

Look, it's pretty obvious that if you cut out some parts of Dr. Balsey-Ford's face and paste them over Amy Schumer's face, Amy Schumer starts to look an awful lot like a certain Dr. Blasey-Ford. Wake up, sheeple, the proof is staring you in the face!

Not enough proof for you? Well check THIS out:




Yeah, that's right. They Both Have Teeth! Can that be chalked up to "coincidence?" Hardly! How many women do you know with incisor, canines AND bicuspids?

But here's where it gets weird.

Add the additional biometric test to the list. Like the others, it is a 100%  match as well. The foreshortening of the thumb is due to camera perspective.  So don’t be fooled by a single screenshot. We can even see where the makeup ends and her natural skin begins across the neckline.

Okay, it's weird enough that the Mission Impossible fake skin ends exactly where Well Aware drew the red line. 

What makes it super freak, and thus obviously supertrue, is that if I hold up mu hand, I have the same lines on my palm as the ones diagrammed on Dr. Ford's and Amy Schumer's! Someone got to me! This goes all the way to the top!

ADDITIONAL EVIDENCE
A statement I make all the time to people who are on the fence is “When in doubt, check the spouse”.
When these actors are hired to play the roles of people who we are to believe are actual people, they need to support their claim by using photos of their past.  We see in order to keep the number of people in the know as low as possible they tend to use their family members to play those supporting cast.  We see Amy’s spouse is being shown to us as the spouse of Ford.  They will choose photos that depict the individual to look as different as they can.  Think about how many photos of you that have been taken that you appear to look nothing like how you really look.

My God, he's right! The man on the left somehow (Trick photography?) manages to look absolutely nothing like either of the men pictured on the right, one of whom is AMY SCHUMER'S ACTUAL HUSBAND! How did they manipulate these photos of what is obviously the same man to look like two completely different men? We've known for some time now that the top levels of the military intelligence milieu have a photgraph-manipulating technology called "Photoshop." It would appear that that technology has been deployed here.

The Sister-in-law (Mother)

We are told by the media that this is Christine Blasey Ford’s sister-in-law. But knowing that Christine Blasey Ford is really Amy Schumer we see the sister-in-law is being played by Amy’s mother.

 So not only does Christine Blasey-Ford's sister-in-law look creepily like Christine Blasey Ford, she somehow manages to not look at all like Amy Schumer's mother who we know she really is because we have already established that Amy Schumer is playing the part of Dr. Blasey-Ford, so who else would they get to play her sister-in-law but a woman who is a generation older than Amy Schumer? 

Also, check out this flawless syntax:

By using an ELA test (Error Level Analysis) you can see if items have been layered on a photo.  Guess what we find in the images the media tells us are of Ford?  Which I will remind you of a statement I have made several times on numerous radio shows I was the guest of, “If an event is real, there is no need to fake anything.”

Could a nut use such perfect sentence structure? 








Okay, I don't understand how that shows the sunglasses are "photoshopped on," but the real question is the caption under the first photo. Are they saying this is supposed to be Christine Blasey-Ford attampting to flee the US? Because that is clearly McCovey Cove behind the right field wall at AT&T Park, where fans gather hoping to catch a home run ball.
But you know what, thinking that she is trying to flee the US on a surfboard really isn't any dumber than the rest of this.

Flashback Friday -- Appropriate Songs for This Week

We're fucked.

I can'r even, as the kids say, with this whole Brett Kavanaugh thing. It's just so grotesque. It's hard to say who is more sickening, Kavanaugh, or his many defenders. And amongst his defenders, who is more sickening, the smug, smirking men or the women who have actually taken to the nation's airwaves to posit the idea that being forcibly groped is just one of those things that happen and how can you possibly hold it against this fine man?

Why has the GOP chosen this hill on which to die? Surely every other judge on the Federalist Society's list is just as right-wing, just as theocratic, just as awful as Kavanaugh. Why insist on him? I had heard that Hair Furor insisted on Kavanaugh because Brett was the only judge to state unequivocally that a sitting president can not be indicted or even subpoenad. But there is no way that the list of ghouls doesn't include plenty of judges who will happily insist that a sitting president may only be indicted if there is a "D" after his name. Hell, Kavanaugh was one of Ken Starr's hatchet men. Clearly he doesn't actually hold to any judicial principles. He's just a right-wing hack. Gotta think that the rest of the rogues' gallery Cheeto Mussolini was given to choose from are just as hacky as Brett.

So why keep fighting for this guy? They can't possibly think this doesn't hurt them politically. Publicly declaring that you believe these women are all lying about surviving sexual assault and that even if they are telling the truth you really don't care has to cost you some votes, right? It certainly can't gain you any.

Maybe it's just that this is the guy President Cartman picked and they will be damned if some woman is going to derail this nomination. Or some god damn liberals who would side with the victim of assault over the rich, entitled white man who went to the "right" schools and comes from a "good family" and should be allowed to molest as many middle-class girls as he likes. Maybe this is just them putting their collective foot down and saying "we have all the power, we're going to do whatever we want and there's nothing you can do about it."

This does seem to be the mentality of people like tRump and Kavannaugh and all these disgusting East Coast prep-school entitled rich boys. It's not enough that I have the money and the power, I need to be able to dominate and humiliate those without it. These people love hierarchies. They love pecking orders.

And apparently, it's not just the prep school boys. Until now, I never understood why rank and file Republican voters love Trump so much. They supposedly can't stand "elitists," whether it's the "liberal elite," the "Hollywood elite," the "Academic elite," or whatever. They supposedly hate the "Coastal elites" who look down their noses at the rubes in flyover country. But who is more of a coastal elite than a Manhattan billionaire (alleged) with an Ivy League education and a gold-plated toilet?

I think they love the security of a rigid hierarchical structure. They want to be in the pecking order, even if they aren't at the top and never will be, as long as there are others below them. And they would prefer that those below them not have the opportunity to rise. As long as everyone knows their place, and as long as that means they have someone to look down upon, they feel safe and secure. They're pack animals. Insecure dogs looking for an "alpha" to lead them. And rule them. And protect them from the threat of the other pack.

Maybe that's why so many Republican women are totally fine with a sexual predator president nominating a sexual predator judge to the highest court. They know they are not at the top of the conservative pyramid, and they never will be. And they're fine with that so long as they have status as white, Christian women. As long as they can look down on people of color and LGBTs, they're fine submitting to dominant males.

It's like being a small guy in prison. You're better off being some big tough guy's "girlfriend" because no matter how he degrades you, it's better than being left to the tender mercies of the general prison population. If you don't have the big scary guy protecting you, then you're everybody's "bitch." Better to be f'd by one asshole than to be passed around and sold for cigarettes. *

So I don't know whether this sociopathic little creep is going to be confirmed or not. I hate being in the position of hoping that Susan Collins does the right thing, that's a recipe for disappointment. But it seems like even some of the braying jackasses on FOX  are starting to realize they backed the wrong horse, so who knows? We are not in normal times. There are no more rules. And in the end, it probably won't matter, because some fucking mutant demon or other is going to wind up on the court and the process of dismantling everything decent about this country will be kicked into overdrive. We are fucked. Well and truly fucked.


*I don't know if that's really how prison works. I only know what I saw on OZ.

fun with headlines

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"Policewoman shoots neighbor in his own home, is fired only after public outcry."

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Conservatives are never funny.

Well, that's not exactly true. I'm sure there are funny people who are conservatives. I think Drew Carey is supposed to be a conservative. But he doesn't do political jokes. You can be funny and be a conservative, but you can't be a funny conservative.

Exhibit A:

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© AFP photo/Mark Knight/Herald Sun 

I mean, what is even the joke here?
Apparently, Serena Williams may have lost her temper a bit when she was penalized in a tennis tournament. You know, like John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Ilie Nastatse, et al made careers of doing. So this imbecile decides that what would be oh so humorous would be to draw Ms Williams having an exaggerated tantrum, and that the witty cherry atop this amusing bit of hilarity would be to depict her as some sort of neanderthal or cave-woman or something?
And then, havng the umpire ask the other player, who, in real life, by the way, looks like this:



so I can not imagine why he chose to draw her as a blonde white woman, but having the unpire ask her to just let Serena win - what is that even based on? That obviously didn't happen. Nothing at all similar to that hapened where that could be a satire or a parody or a caricature of the actual event. See, they don't understand how jokes work. The premise of a joke has to be based in reality. You can't make a joke about, say Barack Obama's tiny ears or Donald Trump's gigantic hands. I mean, you can but it won't be funny. Conservatives do not get this.So they are never funny.

So after the original cartoonist was called out online for being maybe a teensy bit of a, as the French say, a huge racist shitbag, a couple other conservative comic artists decided they'd better get in on mining this rich vein of comedy gold.

Playing off of the original not at all funny comic, a couple of other hacks try to show the humorous side pf being criticized for your racism.



So this guy at least lets you know right from the get-go that you're in for a heavy dose of douchebaggerry when he opens with the term "P.C." No one who has ever used the term "PC" or "politically correct/incorrect" is not a douche. It's like how no one who says "I'm not a racist, but. . ." is not a racist.

Anyway, I think I have a fairly good grasp of what people mean when they say "politically correct." They mean not racist, not misogynist, not anti-LGBT, etc. So how is portraying a strong athletic black woman as a dainty delicate white woman who seems to be completely incompetent at tennis supposed to be "P.C?" I can't begin to imagine. It's not funny. It doesn't make any fucking sense, it's based on nothing, it doesn't even qualify as a joke. There doesn't seem to be any point other than I guess he probably thinks it will "trigger the libs" or some such nonsense.

Yes, the dreaded "PC Gestapo." Because if there's one thing a gestapo won't abide, it's racist caricatures of minorities!
Basing a joke on the premise that this cartoon that was freely published is somehow not allowed to be published because being criticized is somehow reminiscent of Hitler's Gestapo - that doesn't work. How do these conservatives not get that editorial cartoons especially need to be based on reality? Although, I guess when you live in the FOX/Bretbart/Limbaugh virtual reality world, maybe these absurd premises do seem to reflect some sort of real-world phenomena?

Which, of course, brings us to the absolutely not at all funny case of SCOTUS niminee Brett Kavanaugh's "alleged" sexual assault. Now there's obviously nothing funny about sexual assault. If you're a normal person. But if you're a conservative? Well, put me in front of a brick wall and hand me a microphone, 'cuz I got some new material to work out!

Huckabee ‘Defends’ Kavanaugh With Bigoted ‘Joke’ About Him Wearing A Dress And Hanging Out In Women’s Restrooms

I really don't know why Mike Huckabee,since finally giving up on having a career in politics, has decided to re-invent himself as a Twitter comedian. If you've ever seen any of the "jokes this guy Tweets out," hoo boy! Here's a timely f'rinstance:

Right after Huckabee on @TBN at 8pm ET, I'll be on w/ @JudgeJeanine on @FoxNews where I'll confess that when I was in high school, I once put a whoopee cushion in a teacher's chair. I bet this will keep ME off the Supreme Court.

— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) September 15, 2018

Ahahahaha! I\see, it's funny because a harmless schoolboy prank is pretty much at the same level of seriousness as locking a girl in a room, pinning her to the bed, muffling her screams and. . . wait. that's not right. God damn it, Huck you're an ordained Baptist minister. Is it only consensual sex that you think is a sin? Do you seriously not have a problem with sexual predators?

MIKE HUCKABEE ENDORSES JUDGE ROY MOORE

Oh, right.

And in case you thought "well maybe he didn't mean that the way it sounded":

What's next? Dems in Senate want to block Kavanaugh because in 2nd grade, he licked the icing off a cupcake of a classmate? Will we have another "Spartacus" moment? https://t.co/eCDxtWpnvE

— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) September 13, 2018

Yeah. The joke is that an attempted rape is no more serious than licking frosting off a cupcake. No wonder he's okay with Josh Duggar assaulting his own sister.

Anyway, here's the "joke" Huckbee saw fit to make on national television:

HUCKABEE: I’ll tell you the one thing that the left would love him for. If he would wear a dress and hang out in women’s restrooms, that would be the one thing that they would suddenly applaud and say, “He’s fit for the court.”

If, IF, Brett Kavanaugh was a trans person and showed the courage to dress in a manner befitting his gender identity and use the restroom (not "hang out in the restroom") that matches his identity, then sure. He could, in theory, hear a tiny bit of applause form  "the left." But after the applause died down, those few people who were applauding his courage would, en masse, remind everyone that no, he absolutely should not be on the Supreme Court, or any court because he is a horrible person who has committed at least one sex crime. So there's no basis for the joke other than that asshole conservatives think that trans people are funny. Or that acceptance of trans people is such a ridiculous idea that it seems funny to say that "the left' would be accepting of a trans version of Kavanaugh. Either way, there's no joke there.


Not o be outdone, the loathsome son of the loathsome president decided that he, too, could score a few laughs on the subject of sexual assault:

Donald Trump Jr. mocks the sexual assault allegations against Brett Kavanaugh on Instagram.

He apparently has no regrets, it's been up for hours pic.twitter.com/i7zC3LrzRk

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) September 17, 2018

You shouldn't have to explain, even to a shithead like Don Jr, why there is nothing funny about this.
Conservatives are never funny, but god damn it, they will not stop trying.