Monday, March 23, 2020

White House Press Corps Gets Boost of credibility

Remember when the Bush administration brought a gigilo/porn actor into the White House briefing room to pretend to be a reporter and lob softball questions at the podium? And that seemed like it was pretty much the rock-bottom nadir of GOP press relations? Like that was pretty much as bad as it could ever get?

This is worse.



The current administration has apparently credentialed one Chanel Rion (which is a porn name if ever I've heard one) from a news site called OAN.

OAN Reporter Chanel Rion Criticized For Asking Trump If ...

Chanel Rion pictured here making her serious journalist face.


So who is this Chanel Rion and what the hell is OAN? Hell if I know, let's find out!



Well, for a start, OAN apparently stands for One America News Network. I don't know where the other "N" went when they were crafting their acronym, but that's probably not important.

Their homepage looks fairly reasonable with headlines such as


President Trump To Deploy Military Hospital Ships To Calif., N.Y. Amid Surge Of COVID-19 Cases



Sen. Rand Paul Tests Positive For COVID-19, Colleagues Weighing Options On How To Combat Spread Of Virus

and

Labor Shortages Pose Problem For Food Supply Chain

And honestly, the articles under those headlines are pretty straightforward, not weird or crazy at all. But then there's this recent incident in Florida:



Judge Judy Facepalm GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY


Oh, fer the love of. . .

This country is so screwed. When we have elected officials, people in positions of responsibility, who are so profoundly stupid, so pathetically credulous that they would publicly recommend that people fight a virus by scalding their nasal membranes. I mean -- There's no coming back from this. I mean, it would be bad enough if your dumbest Fox-watching uncle believed this nonsense, but this guy is in a position of authority. I know it's just some county in Florida, but I guarantee you that every county commission, every small-town  city council, every local school board has at least one Bryant Culpepper serving on it. Hell, we've got several in Congress!

Rep. Louie Gohmert says he’s been told he’s ‘being ...
Rep. Steve King crossed the line on race by using a ...
How James Inhofe Snowballed the EPA | The New Republic


But, to be fair, OAN did post this on their front page:

Fla. Official Falsely Claims OAN Hailed Hair Dryer As COVID-19 Cure

. . . the official claimed he saw this debunked method on One America News. However, OAN staffers have conducted a thorough review of content, including on-air and on the internet, and have found no association with Culpepper’s remarks.

So who knows? I'm sure as hell not sifting through all their content to try and find out who's lying.

Anyway, they seem on the surface to be a reasonable if conservative-leaning news site.

On the other hand, they employ Ms Chanel Rion.

Who seems like a fucking nut.

I went to her Twitter, this is her pinned Tweet:


I guess someone should have told her at some point that Japanese hegemony over Korea ended with Japan's defeat in World War II. The Korean War had nothing to do with Japan.


Also this:



Image result for oh wow veep gif



Pkay, first of all, the guy she's citing as a "monitored source" appears to be one of the astronauts from the movie 22001 A Space Oddessy.



Alao, what the hell is a "monitored source?" She also refers to him as a "citizen investigator" which is generally a fancy way of saying conspiracy theorist, but a "monitored source amongst a certain set of the DC inrelligence community?" That's not a real thing, is it? I mean, I guess it could mean that the NSA is keeping tabs on him because he's one Q-anon post away from sending pipe bombs to congressmen, but other than that, I have no clue.

But I lookes him up and this is the kind of "investigations" he does:







Ah, yes.
We all know just how much Diane Feinstein whose net worth is estimated at around $80 million looooves Communism!
Also, who tipped her off? She's a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee. It's not exactly a mystery how she could possibly have gotten some sort of inside info. (For the record, I do not know what she knew ahead of time or what stock transactions she did or didn't make, but I sure wouldn't put a bit of insider trading past her)

Also, it looks like it's pretty easy to be a "citizen investigator." You just reference the name of someone in the government and then go ". . . TREASON?"

So, yeah, if this guy is your source, I gotta think you're doing some pretty solid investigative journalism there, Chanel.

Oh, and this is getting a bit off topic, but this Tweet just made me laugh.





Have you ever seen someone who is a cocaine user? They tend to be pretty high-energy. They don't schlub around like cartoon invertebrates, drawling out every word sounding like a 45 rpm record played at 33+1/3.


Mitch McConnell Appears to Be a Racist and the USA Needs ...


Anyway, here she is pushing the "fake news" bullshit narrative:



So, if I have this straight, CNN reported that a national "curfew" was being discussed / considered at the White House. Chanel says this is false because . . . the WHITE HOUSE, who lies constantly about everything, says it wasn't true.


Martin Scorsese GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY


Okay, so it makes total sense that this lady is a credentialed White House reporter. I'm sorry I ever questioned it!









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Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Good News, Everyone!



Image result for good news everyone gif


We no longer need to worry about the Corona Virus!


Christian pastor Shawn Bolz: 'Lord showed me the end of the coronavirus'

Caleb Parke
By Caleb Parke | Fox News


Hey, if you can't trust Fox News .com/faith, who can you trust?


Shawn Bolz, a Christian pastor in Los Angeles who teaches about listening to God, has good news to share about the coronavirus.
He prophesied about the virus, which has sickened 91,000 people worldwide and caused more than 3,000 deaths, declaring "the tide is turning now!"

Um, if you're talking about a thing that is happening NOW. . . that ain't prophesying, butch. That's just talking.


"We're going to see it come to an end," Bolz told Fox News.


Good point. It is going to come to an end. The science people are going to develop a vaccine or a cure and we're all going to lock ourselves in our homes for a couple weeks and eventually this pandemic will be no more. It will end as all things end. Still don't really think this counts as prophecy. I mean, if that counts as a prophecy, then I am declaring myself a prophet because I am prediciting right now that baseball will once again be played in America. Eventually. I HAVE SPOKEN!

"I do believe it's the answer to prayer, with people of every type, Catholics and Christians. . .


Ohhh, hold on a minute there. Let's just unpack that statement for a second. Okay, to begin with, yes. Obviously there are only two types of people in the world - Catholics and Christians. And obviously Catholics are different from Christians because they worship, um . . . Christ. But a different guy who also just coincidentally happened to be named Christ? Okay, never mind., That all checks out. Please continue.

"I do believe it's the answer to prayer, with people of every type, Catholics and Christians, we can't afford a moment of darkness in history," he added. "God has a plan."

We  certainly can not afford a moment of darkness at this point in our history. That's not in dispute. So it's a good thing that God has a plan that so far has only involved about  2,500 deaths in Italy, 500 deaths in Spain, and 100 so far in the US! (plus a few thousand in the heathen countries, but it's not like God can be expected to listen to their prayers!)

Bolz counts himself among many Christians who hear God, including Vice President Mike Pence, Gov. Mike Huckabee, Justin Bieber, Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington, and Oprah Winfrey, who recently shared how hearing words from her pastor, Wintley Phipps, guided her career over the last 30 years.


Okay, this is a bit off-topic, but I'm pretty sure that Oprah's pastor has convinced her that he is God?

That never ends badly!

Image result for branch davidians


The founding pastor of Expression 58 was at a national event in South Africa Friday,During the event, Bolz prophesied to several people, including one person who recently finished treatment for cancer. Calling out details like names, children and profession, he told him the cancer would not come back and that he would live a long life and see his kids grow up. 

Jesus Christ! This is the dame schtick that Criswell used to pull. Make a prediction that won't be proven true or false until way off in the future, then take a bow and declare that you have prophesied and there's certainly no reason to doubt that it will come true! People are really still falling for this? You want to be a prophet? Prophesy about something that's going to happen later this afternoon. If it comes true, we can talk.

Bolz also said a number of significant miracles happened.


Image result for of course!


Right, sure, of course! No need to provide, say, a video clip of said miracles or even a general description of what they were. I mean, did you heal the sick? Raise the dead? Make the little girls talk out of their heads?


"I just felt like the tide is turning shortly -- whether it's two weeks or two months -- God cares about this," Bolz explained. "He's answering prayer and I saw two vaccines coming. I think one will come from Israel and another from an Asian nation, and they're going to hit pretty quickly."



Oh, yeah. I can see how much he cares about this because it's only been a problem since January and now he's going to maybe do something about it within like 2 months. I mean, he's obviously got a lot on his plate right now.
And vaccines being created in Israel and "an Asian nation" would obviously be the work of the Lord, not of Israeli and Asian scientists or anything!


Bolz said he later heard from a pastor from China that Wuhan, the province where the virus originated, is a place with many Christian missionaries who have been praying for revival for the past 100 years. 


I said "REVIVAL," not "Re-VIRUS!" Clean out your ears, God!






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Monday, March 16, 2020

Corona Virus Lady Bingeing

Since we're being told to stay in our homes as much as possible, and since it is Women's History Month and since I totally missed Día Internacional de la Mujer, I thought I would try to combine all these recent events and present. . .



Lady-Centric Shows to Binge-Watch on Netflix


Comdey

Derry Girls
Derry Girls Rip Poster Official Licensed 24x36"


The story of 4 teenaged Irish Catholic Girls (and James, who is a "dick") growing up during the "troubles" in Northern Ireland. Might be somewhat offensive to any super devout Catholics, but pretty much safe to enjoy in mixed company for everyone else.


Workin' Moms

Image result for workin' Moms poster


Created, written by and starring Catherine Reitman (daughter of Ivan), this show is a humorous look at the difficulties faced by new mothers returning to the workplace. This show does get quite a bit, um, bawdy, you might say? There is some occasional nudity, but interestingly enough, the nudity is never done for any reason other than to get a laugh. It's never erotic or prurient. In fact, this show might do more to de-sexualize / de-stigmatize the female nipple than any other endeavour. Probably wouldn't want to watch this with your kids or your parents.


Lady Dynamite

Image result for lady dynamite poster


It's not a great show, but Maria Bamford is so good, just really really good, that it doesn't matter that much that the supporting characters are mostly annoying. She's just great. Of course, Bamford is one of my favorite comics, so if you're not as big a Bamford fan as I am, this may not be your best bet. Don't watch with anyone who has a problem with a lot of four-letter words.



Dramedy

Good Girls

Image result for good girls poster


This is actually a network show (NBC, I think) but the first two seasons are on Netflix. It's the story of three women, all desperate foir money for various reasons, who rob a grocery store. Then things quickly spin out of control as they are drawn deeper and deeper into a life of crime. It's the Breaking Bad formula, but funny. Great cast, too: Mad Men's Christina Hendriucks, Parks & Rec's Rhetta, Arrested Development's Mae Whitman, It's Always Sunny's David Hornsby, The Bridge's Matthew Lillard, etc.
It's made for network TV, so it's fairly appropriate family viewing.

Last Tango in Halifax

Image result for last tango in halifax poster

Two women from very different walks of life are thrown together when one's father begins dating the other's mother. It's a love-hate relationship that gradually trends more toward the love side as the two parents get engaged and everyone is becoming family. It's funny, it's sad in parts, it's a beautiful love story except when it isn't. And the cast is amazing. It's a master class in acting. Sarah Lancashire from Happy Valley and Nicola Walker form Unforgotten play the warring soon-to-be stepsisters. Created by Sally Wainwright who also did Happy Valley (see below)
(Unforgotten would have made the list, except that of the two main characters, only one is a lady-type person. But it's definitely worth watching too)


Horror

Marianne

Marianne Poster


(In French, with English subtitles)
As a young girl, Emma had recurring nightmares about a witch named Marianne. When she grew up, she turned those dreams into a series of successful horror books. Now it seems that maybe Marianne wasn't a figment of her dreams after all!
Too scary for children, but fine for teens and up I would think.


 Cop Shows/Mysteries

Happy Valley

Image result for happy valley poster


A cop trying to track down a kidnapper who may have been the man who raped her daughter and fathered her grandson while dealing with difficult family dynamics. About as dark as it sounds, not for kids.

Dicte: Crime Reporter

Dicte: Crime Reporter Poster

(In Danish with English subtitles)

here's tne imdb description: Dicte is a dedicated reporter and refuses to give up before she has her story. Her stubbornes gives her problems immediately with the policeman John Wagner, and they often get into clashes with each other.


Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries Poster

Phrynie Fisher is a thouroughly modern woman with enough money to not have to live by 1920's society's standards. She solves murders while living the adventurous life of a roaring 20's flapper in Melbourne, Australia. Light-hearted, nothing graphic, fun for the whole family.

The Bletchley Circle

The Bletchley Circle Poster


A group of British women who had worked as codebreakers during World War II turn detective. I don't remember a lot of the details, but I know we loved season one. The main character doesn't return for season 2, so we didn't like it as much, but it was still good.

 Marcella

Marcella is listed (or ranked) 36 on the list The Best Crime TV Shows on Netflix Instant

A cop on the verge of a nervous breakdown investigates a murder which might possibly have been committed by her.

Drama

Call The Midwife

Call the Midwife Poster


You all know how much I love Call the Midwife. What else could I possibly say about this brilliant show that I haven't already said? Binge watch this sucker ASAP!

I know there are probably several I've forgotten, but we have free HBO for one more day and I need to finish the last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm., so I gotta go. Happy bingeing!


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Thursday, March 5, 2020

Things I learned on Twitter

I'm not quitting the blog. I've just been super busy lately. Hopefully regular posting will resume in the near future. But today, I present Things I Learned on Twitter:


!. Bill Clinton just doesn't know when to let things go.




You know, Bill, no one was wondering. No one is sitting around in 2020, trying to decide between Bernie and Joe and thinking "Gee, I wonder why Bill Clinton decided to get his dick sucked in the Oval Office?" First of all, because all of us who happen to have dicks have no problem understanding why you would want to get yours sucked pretty much anywhere, but especially in the Oval Office. That's not a mystery. We totally understand your motivation there. I'm a little confused about your motivation fro bringing it up now, though. Did you just get up in the morning and think :you know, I haven't humiliated Hillary publicly in a while, think I'll bring up my most famous infidelity in an interview!" Then you popped your head up and said "Hey, America, remember me? Remember that time I got my dick sucked in the Oval Office? That was a baller move, right?" I think I speak for most of America when I say we would like to go back to not having to think about you at all, and we would especially like to not have to keep feeling bad for Hillary.

2. There's a good chance that thi year, the choice for President will come down to a senile compulsive liar who's a Republican and a senile compulsive liar who's a Democrat.

Image result for 'Merica! gif







3. Men in the 1970's were apparently super weird about women's hands?



When you see a headline that reads "Things to do with your hands that men like," you're probably thinking "Yeah, I know what that one thing is." But apparently, you'd be wrong. 'Cuz there are like a hundred other things that men apparently used to want women to do with their hands.Some of them are a bit obvious, like "un-kink his tense neck muscles with a massage." I mean, sure. Who wouldn't enjoy that? Others a re just downright offensive like ". . .put cushions under his head and feet. Bring him a martini."Then there are some that are just bizarre.

Hand his orange juice to him while he's toweling off after the shower.

Yeah, that's the perfect time to hand someone a beverage, when he doesn't have a free hand. He'll think you're a lunatic.

Smash his goblet in the fireplace.

Okay, first of all, who has a goblet? What Medieval fortress are you living in that has goblets and fireplaces? And you know what, goblets aren't cheap. If someone threw my fancy-ass drinking vessel into the fireplace I would have a serious bone to pick with that person.I mean, why exactly am I supposed to enjoy this bit of senseless vandalism?

Section his grapefruit.

Oh yeah. Treat your man like an invalid or a toddler. Hey, maybe you can cut his meat for him too! And give him his beverage in a sippy cup (since you've already destroyed the glassware.)

Do needlepoint while he watches.

Is needlepoint code for some sort of naked activity? Or is your man just incredibly easily entertained and doesn't own a television, radio, or books?

Put your hands on his naked waist and stare at him.

Stare at him? He's naked, you're putting your hands on him, he's thinking there are good times ahead and then you just. . . stare at him? Are you trying to get him to have you committed?


Give him an egg shampoo

Right. . . I know there's nothing I enjoy more than when my wife cracks eggs onto my head and. . . I mean, I guess that's what an "egg shampoo" would be? Like washing one's hair with eggs instead of something that makes hair, you know, clean? Oh hell yeah, baby! Next could you rub raw bacon on my face and coat my skin in cake batter?

Now that egg shampoo thing might seem impossible to top, but what about this thing that us menfolk love for our womenfolk to do?

Make a sandwich out of him and two pillows. Your feast.

Image result for what the gif



Okay, I'll admit the "your feast" part sounds intriguing, but am I to be smothered between two pillows whilst the feasting is happening? Because I gotta say, that's. . . well, okay, it's not a deal breaker, but it sounds pretty awful.

And there are some that are even a bit insulting.

Pat his stomach and ask if there's any movement.

So, is she making fun of my pot belly? Like pretending that she thinks I'm pregnant? Because that is just rude. I have lost like 15 pounds already, I am doing my best! Nothing is ever good enough for you!

Put your fingertips across his mouth

Okay, I get it. You can just say "Shhh." Or "Not now, I'm watching my stories." You don't have to be a jerk about it!
Image result for shhh gif funny

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Friday, February 21, 2020

Weekend Playlist -- Food, Glorious Food.



































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