Michelle Malkin

For some reason, there are some people who take Michelle Malkin seriously.
Really. I know, it's hard to believe!

Here's her latest nugget of insanity:

Of course: Swine flu is all the evil GOP’s fault!

By Michelle Malkin • April 27, 2009 11:39 AM

Well, it didn’t take long for partisan Democrats to blame the swine flu outbreak on the Republican Party.

Um, no.
No one is blaming Republicans for the swine flu. Really. No one thinks that the Republican Party is clever enough to manufacture a new virus and spread it to the U.S. via Mexico.
Seriously, just stop now.

Here’s the line: Since House Republicans all opposed the trillion-dollar-porkulus, which included funding for pandemic preparations, it’s all. Our. Fault.

No. Not really.

No, really:

Ok, what are you basing this on? Oh, this article from The Nation you linked to? Well. let's see what it has to say.

When House Appropriations Committee chairman David Obey, the Wisconsin Democrat who has long championed investment in pandemic preparation, included roughly $900 million for that purpose in this year's emergency stimulus bill, he was ridiculed by conservative operatives and congressional Republicans.

Well, that is true.

Famously, Maine Senator Collins, the supposedly moderate Republican who demanded cuts in health care spending in exchange for her support of a watered-down version of the stimulus, fumed about the pandemic funding: "Does it belong in this bill? Should we have $870 million in this bill? No, we should not."

Ok, still waiting for the part where the Republicans are blamed.

Senate Democratic leaders bowed to Collins in the process of crafting their chamber's version of the stimulus. In doing so, they eliminated more than 80 percent of the modest amount of money that had been allocated for pandemic preparedness -- and all of the money that would have helped emergency services.

Sounds like they're blaming the Democrats.

Senate Democrats bent to her demands. That makes them, at the very least, complicit in the weakening of what needed to be a muscular plan.

The bottom line is that there were no heroes in either party on the Senate side of the ugly process that ridiculed and then eliminated pandemic preparedness funding.

Would you like to treat this witness as hostile?

But former White House political czar Karl Rove and key congressional Republicans — led by Maine Senator Susan Collins — aggressively attacked the notion that there was a connection between pandemic preparation and economic recovery.

Should we just stop here? Are you sure you don't want to withdraw your objection?
Ok, let's see if Rove and company were right. Let's see if there is, in fact, no connection between a flu outbreak and economic recovery.

On Monday, the question began to be answered, as Associated Press reported -- under the headline: "World Markets Struck By Swine Flu Fears" -- that: "World stock markets fell Monday as investors worried that a deadly outbreak of swine flu in Mexico could go global and derail any global economic recovery."

Before U.S. markets opened, the Wall Street Journal reported: "U.S. stock futures fell sharply Monday as the outbreak of deadly swine flu stoked fears that a possible recovery in the global economy could be derailed."

The Dow, after several weeks of surging, finished the day down 51 points, with the Journal headlining a late-day report: "US Stocks Down On Continued Swine Flu Fears."

OOOOOOO, I'm sorry, the correct answer was "Yes, there is a connection." We would also have accepted "hell yes," "obviously," or "Duh!" We have some lovely parting gifts for you: Turtle Wax, a year's supply of shut the fuck up, and Rice A Roni, the San Francisco treat!" (*)Only funny to those of us born prior to 1970

So do you have anything to add before skulking off to well deserved ignominy?

So any natural disaster or bio-catastrophe that comes along, for which fiscal conservatives refused to support funding for in an economic recovery package, will now be all. Our. Fault.

No. Look, we just covered this. No one is blaming the Republicans. People are just pointing out how ironically wrong they were on this issue. And by the way, your syntax is atrocious. See you in Summer School.