Erick Erickson

Every morning, Erick Erickson rolls out of his race-car bed, changes out of his feetie pajamas, pours a bowl of Coco Puffs, (for which he is CooCoo!) and opens up the morning paper. Skimming through the headlines, he pauses at each article and thinks to himself "how can I make this story be about the badness of Barack Obama?"

Today, the story was Honduras.

President Obama gave a mild sort-of-condemnation of the military coup which ousted President Manuel Zelaya. So how do we twist this? How can this be a story about Obama's treachery and wickedness? Hmmmmmmmmm.........................

In the battle between good and evil, Barack Obama endorses evil

Whether Hamas, Hezbollah, Chavez, or Castro, Barack Obama faithfully sides with American enemies over American interests.

Oh, well done! That's a finely crafted, attention-garbbing headline! Now to fill in all the blank space left under the title part, and I can watch my cartoons!

We need to pay attention to Obama’s foreign policy. It is shaping up to be fatal to American interests.

Fatal! That'll scare some people!

He has given only tepid support to democratic protestors in Iran

And God knows how strong U.S. backing would have increased the credibility of the protestors. And our "American interests" lie directly in having the slightly-less crazy hardliner be the figurehead of Iran!

He refuses to take on the North Koreans despite their intentions to launch a missile toward Hawaii.

I gotta tell you, there are fireworks stores in Tennessee with more impressive arsenals than Kim Jong Il. The odds of him being able to hit Hawaii with one of his sad little missles are about the same as Erick Erickson's odds of hitting Angelina Jolie with his sad little missle.

And now Barack Obama is standing with Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, and a host of communist regimes and sympathizers in Central and South America on the issue of Honduras.

Also Canada, Russia, the United nations, the European Union, but whatever.

Oh, Erick, Obama and Chavez also agree that the sky is blue! They must be in cahoots!

Barack Obama sees it differently. He is supporting the democratically ousted President of Honduras. He joins Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro.

Democratically ousted? Losing an election would be democratcally ousted, I guess, but being evicted from the country by one's own military? That's a coup. And just because Fidel Castro agrees doesn't make it untrue.

Asshole of the Year

My second nominee for the coveted Asshole of the Year award is. . . . . . . . . . .

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas!Dang! I'm bored. When do we get to the sexy part?

Back in 2003, a 13-year-old Arizona girl was called in to the principal's office. Someone had whispered a rumor that this girl had brought prescription-strength Ibuprofen to school. (Note: ibuprofen is also known as Motrin or Advil. Prescription-strength Ibuprofen is exactly the same, just more milligrams). When no pills were found in her backpack, school officials made her remove her clothes and show them that nothing was concealed in her brassiere or underpants.

Well, on June 24 of this year, the Supreme Court ruled that this constituted an illegal search. The ruling was 8 to 1. The lone dissenting vote came from our nominee, Clarence Thomas. Even Alito found strip-searching a 13-year-old girl looking for Advil was outrageous, but not ol' Clarence!

"It was eminently reasonable to conclude the backpack was empty because Redding was secreting the pills in a place she thought no one would look," he said.

See, that's what happens when you begin with a conclusion. If you have already decided that the girl must have these pills on her, then when they can't be found in a normal place, like her backpack, you force yourself to assume that they must be hidden elsewhere. If you instead begin with the question "does she have pills on her?" you can search her backpack, have her empty her pockets, and when nothing is found, then you come to a conclusion--which in this case would be, "I guess not." Or you could also not treat students like inmates who have to be searched for contraband at the drop of a hat, but I digress.

Thomas warned that the majority's decision could backfire. "Redding would not have been the first person to conceal pills in her undergarments," he said. "Nor will she be the last after today's decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school."

Thomas continued, "yesssssss, the best place to hide your special valuables, mmmmmm.... a teenager's panties, mmmmmmmmm........ don't forget to check the bra! Yeahhhhhhhhh........."
Or something along those lines.

Although, in his defense, Judge Thomas may have still been giddy from being the lone dissenting vote in the court's 8-1 decision upholding the Voting Rights Act last week.

So congratulations Clarence Thomas, you've been nominated for Asshole of theYear!

Micheal Jackson -- Who Cares?

Ye, Micheal Jackson was a terrific singer and a hell of a showman, but what the hell good has he been for the last, oh, decade or so? What was the last decent song he put out? "Black or White"? Honestly, the guy peaked in what, like 1975? Yeah "Thriller" had like 500 hit singles, but admit it, they all sucked.
Look at some of these lyrics:

"Showin' How Funky Strong Is Your Fight" What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?

"They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You, Then They'll Tell You It's Fair" So these gang-bangers are going to take the time, after beating and kicking you to explain that, although it may seem unfair, by their code of ethics, this ass-kicking was actually fair?

"'Cause This Is Thriller, Thriller Night.There Ain't No Second Chance Against The Thing With Forty Eyes." Wow!

"Someone's Always Tryin' To Start My Baby Cryin', Talkin', Squealin', Lyin'" This must be the most hated woman on the planet! People are constantly trying to make her cry!

Anyway, the poor guy's been a slow-motion train wreck for the past 20 years at least, he's going to be remembered more for being tabloid fodder than for any of his musical accomplishments.

But that's not even the point. The point is, why are we all supposed to be so broken up about the death of a man that we've never met? Why is it assumed that we all are supposed to feel some sort of intense personal connection to a total stranger just because we've seen him on TV and listened to his records? What does this say about us as a society when all our 24-hour news channels can just put the wars, the economy, and everything else on hold because a singer died?

The only upside is that jackson died just in time to save us from the Let's-pretend-to-
care-about-Farrah-Fawcett-festival that would otherwise have been in store for us.

For you younger folks out there, farrah Fawcett was an alleged actress and alleged beauty who starred for four years in a ridiculous Aaron Spelling detective show, then several lousy made-for-Tv movies. But she is most well-known for having had nipples:


Apparently, we all mourn her passing.

The Republican Implosion, a Brief History.

First, they hitched their wagon to this star:
Then they decided that this guy: was going to be their 2012 standard bearer. Unfortunately, both of them spoke in public, and that was the end of that!

Then they put this guy: in charge of the whole party.

But he got bitch-slapped by this guy: And so did this guy:
And somewhere in all the confusion, this guy: started getting taken seriously.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then this guy: tried to blow an undercover cop.

This guy: got caught having sex with a lady who is NOT the lady in this picture.

And this guy: just disappeared.

He later showed up and admitted to having been with this gal: (artists rendition)

instead of this one: Meanwhile, this gal: was in a batshit-crazy contest with this guy: and winning!

This guy: was talking secession with this guy: and these guys:
became the defacto spokesmen for the whole party.

You know what, republicans? Just stop it! Just cut it out! There has to be a minimum of two functioning political parties in this country.
See, here's the problem - liberals tend to over-think things, conservatives tend to under-think. Conservatives see everything in stark black & white, liberals see endless shades of grey. We need to have some of both so that it averages out to a normal person.
So knock it off! Quit fucking around and get back in the game!






NO! Not you!

The Republican Women of Anne Arundel County

How am I supposed to come up with something funny to say about this?

The Republican Women of Anne Arundel County, one of Maryland’s most prominent Republican organizations, has launched an outrageous attack on President Barack Obama. The website currently features a letter from Joyce E. Thoman, the organization’s President, comparing Barack Obama to Hitler. An excerpt:

Dear Friends:

Obama and Hitler have a great deal in common in my view. Obama and Hitler use the “blitzkrieg” method to overwhelm their enemies. FAST, CARPET BOMBING intent on destruction. Hitler’s blitzkrieg bombing destroyed many European cities – quickly and effectively. Obama is systematically destroying the American economy and with it AMERICA. First the banking/investment industry, next private enterprise (GM and Chrysler) and now HEALTH CARE. And he is working on grabbing more of the American economy with his environmental extremism!

How do you respond to something like that? It's just so fucking insane! How do you compare environmental "extremism" (of which no one could accuse President Obama) with the fucking blitz? I can't even tell whether these people actually believe their own bullshit, or has it just been a process of "let's throw every imaginable scary label at him and see if one sticks."

So, from the moment Barack Obama took office, it's been: "he's Stalin, he's Hitler, he's Osama bin Laden, he's Neville Chamberlain, he's a socialist, he's a fascist, he's a secret Muslim, he's a zombie, he's Dracula, he's a Yeti, he's Jason Voorhies, he's the Zodiac Killer, he's a Sith Lord, he's Anton LaVey, he's the fourth Jonas Brother, he's a gay Tellytubby, he's the anti-Christ, He's an anarchist, don't know what he wants but he knows how to get it. He wants to destroy, possibly!

(for those of you under 40, that's a Sex Pistols reference)

FIX IT!

Micheal Steele just gets more and more ridiculous. Here's his solution to the health care crisis:

So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.

If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? If my friend Trevor has access to health care, and I don’t, why do I need to overhaul the entire system so I can get access he already has? Why don’t you just focus on me and get me access?

Did anyone else think of this:

When they heard that?

Jim Kouri

I'm not sure how I stumbled onto this gem:

Terror threat continues at US borders

By Jim Kouri

Jim Kouri

Jim Kouri, CPP is currently fifth vice-president of the
National Association of Chiefs of Police.


(it took me a while to find out what the "CPP" referred to. It apparently stands for "Certified Protection Professional," which turns out to be a fancy word for "bodyguard." When Bodyguard is the top line in your resume', then yeah, I guess you're qualified to comment on international terrorism!)

As the number of Americans who remember the horror of the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington almost eight years ago dwindles,

Seriously? You really think anyone is looking around Manhattan asking "whatever happened to those two big buildings, the World Something or Other?"

Islamofascism is taking hold in Central and South America.

It is? What evidence do you have to back up this claim?

According to testimony given to the US House of Representatives Armed Services Committee by General Peter Pace, the former US Joint Chiefs of Staff, Hamas has joined Hezbollah and Al-Qaeda in the Triple Frontier Zone in Latin America where the borders of Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay converge.

Well, I'm certainly no Peter Pace expert. I don't know everything he's ever said, so I thought, it's possible Gen. Pace did testify to this. So I did what's known as a "google search" for the terms "Peter Pace" + "Hamas" + "frontier zone" and found several articles stating the same thing about Pace's testimony. True, they were all written by Jim Kouri, but still, that's some pretty compelling evidence!

Border Patrol agents began to voice what many believed were legitimate concerns about "armed incursions" into the United States from Mexico-based assailants. They reported that heavily armed Mexican army units and federal police, called federales, had infiltrated US territory and fired upon them, in some cases.

WHAT? The Mexican Army invaded and no one told me? I'll bet they were riding unicorns and casting voodoo spells with their magic wands made of fire!

Seriously, you're really saying that the Mexican Army has comitted acts of war within the United States, and this is not the lead story on Lou Dobbs?

Many of our political leaders and most in the news media ignore these violent attacks on our national sovereignty while more and more Americans are saying, "This has got to stop!"

Just like they continue to ignore the threats posed by Dr. Evil, The Riddler, and the Loch Ness Monster!

And our northern border with Canada has many law-enforcement leaders even more concerned. Canadian security experts concede that there are several radical Islamist groups active in their country. In fact, Hezbullah's largest headquarters is located not in the Middle East but in Toronto.

In Fact, a quick Google search will show you that "According to the Canadian Security Intelligence Service, Hezbollah's largest headquarters outside of the Middle East is in Toronto."

That's a pretty big difference.
That's like being the biggest douchebag outside of "The Hills."
Or the most dangerous criminal outside of prison.
Or the craziest motherfucker outside of FOX.

Americans can probably count on one hand the number of congressional leaders who will even debate the issues of illegal immigration or border security.

Sure, if you're this guy:

Putting aside terrorism, the lack of border security contributes to crime. In Los Angeles, a look at outstanding arrest warrants for homicide reveals that over 90% are for illegal aliens.

Well, that number didn't seem like it could possibly be true, so I checked it out with Snopes.com which said that the figure comes un-sourced from testimony by one Heather MacDonald, who turns out to be a hack from the headquarters of hackery, the "Weekly Standard." My best guess is that Mr. Kouri got his bad information the same place most of us get ours, from a forwarded e-mail.

Any time someone tells you that the media are ignoring what would be the biggest story of the year, then throws around a bunch of totally bogus data, I figure I'd better take a closer look at his "credentials." According to his bio, he is the "fifth vice president of the National Association of Chiefs of Police."Even though his name does not show up anywhere on the organization's website, I'll take his word for it. So, he must have been at one time the chief of some police department? Not exactly.

He's former chief at a New York City housing project in Washington Heights nicknamed "Crack City"

So, unless "crack city" had its own police dept, Ol' Jim was not a police chief, even though his bio reads in such a way that if you're not reading carefully, you would get the impression that he was, but I'm sure that's completely unintentional.

He's also served on the National Drug Task Force

Sounds impressive! What is that, some federal law-enforcement agency? Not exactly.
I kid you not, it's an internet-based talk radio program! Really. Check it out.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much credibility does Jim Kouri have?





Oh, sorry Jim! How about you stick to topics you know something about, like, um . . . .
well, there's, um. . . .sorry, Jim, I got nothing!

Sunday Funnies!

Now son, this is going to hurt me more than it hurts-
Oh, who am I kidding? I feel like king of the fucking world!



That's right, Jimmy! If you want to be an official club member,
You can't wear any pants!



Oh, man! Remember the Beatles? Those dead-eyed psychotic-looking, lipstick-wearing young mop-tops. We sure loved 'em!



Featuring the hit single "I think the roofies have kicked in."



And introducing Mr. Hankey!



So you say there are clubs that cater exclusively to guys like us?
And it's called Folsom Street?



Like what you see, ladies?



We don't care fer yer kind around here!



Me love children! Me host sleepovers at
Tarzan Ranch! Me serve Jesus Juice.



I don't even have a good line for this.
What could I possibly add?

Krauthammer Strikes Again

Well, I did it again. I read an op-ed written by Charles Krauthammer. And Charles is off his meds. I really think he needs professional help, because his world just doesn't correspond to the real world.

Hope and Change -- but Not for Iran

Millions of Iranians take to the streets to defy a theocratic dictatorship that, among its other finer qualities, is a self-declared enemy of America and the tolerance and liberties it represents. The demonstrators are fighting on their own, but they await just a word that America is on their side.

Oh, is that what they're awaiting? 'Cause it looks to me like they just went ahead and started without us.

. . . after treating this popular revolution as an inconvenience to the real business of Obama-Khamenei negotiations, the president speaks favorably of "some initial reaction from the Supreme Leader that indicates he understands the Iranian people have deep concerns about the election."

"treating this popular revolution as an inconvenience?" Really? Is this the part where we make up ridiculous actions and attribute them to people we don't like? I love this part! Let me try. Um, After treating stray puppies as convenient concubines, Charles Krauthammer then spoke favorably of "some initial reaction from my favorite crack dealer." Gosh, that is fun! Now, some may quibble over the fine points of whether Charles Krauthammer actually had sex with puppies, but I say he did in the same sense that Barack Obama treated the Iranian uprising as "an inconvenience to the real business of Obama-Khamenei negotiations."




In Charles Krauthammer's mind, this is what a meeting between Barack Obama and Ayatollah Khamenei would look like.

Where to begin? "Supreme Leader"? Note the abject solicitousness with which the American president confers this honorific on a clerical dictator who, even as his minions attack demonstrators, offers to examine some returns in some electoral districts -- a farcical fix that will do nothing to alter the fraudulence of the election.

Right, referring to someone by his correct title is "abject solicitousness." When Obama does meet the ayatollah, the correct greeting would be to pat him on the head like Benny Hill, call him Shemp and give him a wedgie. Let him know that the USA is the goddamn alpha male!

This started out about election fraud. But like all revolutions, it has far outgrown its origins. What's at stake now is the very legitimacy of this regime -- and the future of the entire Middle East.

Oh my God! Are you seriously still on this "re-making the Middle East" kick? How's it been working out so far?

This revolution will end either as a Tiananmen or as a true revolution that brings down the Islamic Republic.

The latter is improbable but, for the first time in 30 years, not impossible. Imagine the repercussions. It would mark a decisive blow to Islamist radicalism, of which Iran today is not just standard-bearer and model, but financier and arms supplier. It would do to Islamism what the collapse of the Soviet Union did to communism -- leave it forever spent and discredited.

Righ, which is why Communism was abandoned by China, Cuba, Vietnam, North Korea, hey, wait a minute!

Now, with Hezbollah having lost elections in Lebanon and with Iraq establishing the institutions of a young democracy, the fall of the Islamist dictatorship in Iran would have an electric and contagious effect. The exception -- Iraq and Lebanon -- becomes the rule. Democracy becomes the wave. Syria becomes isolated; Hezbollah and Hamas, patronless. The entire trajectory of the region is reversed.

Holy Fuck! The domino theory? Are you fucking serious? How would that even work? Iranians overthrow their theocracy, and the Islamist dictators in other Arab states don't clamp down hard on the slightest hint of dissidence? Saudis rise up to oust the royal house of Saud, and King Abdullah just says, "well fuck it, it worked in Iran, what chance do we have? Throw down your weapons, fellas, it's time to go into exile! Freedom is on the march and there's no fighting progress!" You'd have to be a complete idiot to buy some rosy scenario about waves of democracy spreading throughout the Middle East. You'd have to be the kind of moron who bought the "we'll be greeted as liberators" scenario.

Even from the narrow perspective of the nuclear issue, the administration's geopolitical calculus is absurd. There is zero chance that any such talks will denuclearize Iran. On Monday, President Ahmadinejad declared yet again that the nuclear "file is shut, forever."

Of course, Achmadinejad has about as much real power as Queen Elizabeth, but why let that stand in the way of a good rant?

The only hope for a resolution of the nuclear question is regime change

Regime change? Regime change? How many Goddamn regimes are we supposed to change? And with what? Where are all these extra soldiers going to come from? Our military is already stretched to the breaking point, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are bankrupting us, and you want to get involved in another Middle Eastern Country? This is not a game of fucking Risk! This is real life, and the grownups are in charge now. So how about you shut your fat yap and let the grownups who live in the real world handle things, mmkay?

What has Donald Wildmon's Drawers in a Bunch Today?

Surprise, Surprise, it's the Gays!

OOH, an action alert! Must be important!

PepsiCo sponsors four more gay pride parades

Egad!

PepsiCo shows its employees caught in this destructive and harmful lifestyle no compassion, no support to help them leave it. Rather,PepsiCo spends huge sums of money to promote the lifestyle.

Also, they refuse to help their black employees become white or their lady employees to become male.

AFA has asked PepsiCo to be neutral in the culture war regarding the homosexual agenda and the legalization of homosexual marriage, but PepsiCo adamantly refuses to do so. PepsiCo requires employees to attend sexual orientation and gender diversity training.

Oh, my God! What if this training makes them forget who to hate?

You do realize that they aren't being trained to be gender-diverse, right?

PepsiCo refuses to give any money to groups such as Parents and Friends of Ex-Gay and Gays (PFOX) that work to help individuals change their sexual behavior.

Also, they refuse to fund my sasquatch research facility!

So what can be done? How can we stop this tidal wave of gaiety?

Take Action!

• Sign the Boycott Pepsi Pledge. After signing the pledge, please call Pepsi (914-253-2000 or 1-800-433-2652) and tell the company you will boycott its products until it stops promoting the homosexual agenda.
• Call the Pepsi bottler nearest you and ask it to stop supporting the homosexual agenda.
• Pepsi’s products include Pepsi soft drinks, Frito-Lay chips and snacks (800-352-4477), Quaker Oats (800-367-6287), Tropicana (800-237-7799) and Gatorade (800-884-2867).

Gosh, you know it sure would be a shame if people called those numbers to congratulate Pepsi for being a part of the 21st Century.

Or went to http://cr.pepsi.com/usen/pepsiusen.cfm?time=10565963 and gave Pepsi a little positive feedback.

If it's good enough for Karl Freakin' Lagerfeld, it's good enough for me!

A serious lack of Perspective

Congressmen John Culberson (R-TX) and Pete Hoekstra (R-MI) have no sense of perspective.

Recess

What the Hell?
Do you understand that Iranians are risking their lives to send out bits of news via social networking sites. How is that in any way similar to what you are doing? You are using Twitter to whine about Democrats in Congress not being sufficiently sensitive to your issues. In Iran, there are guys on motorcycles beating and shooting participants in anti-government rallies. You didn't get enough time to debate.

You call yourself an oppressed minority. Really. With a straight face? The Uighurs are an oppressed minority. The Lost Boys of Sudan are an oppressed minority. I don't think you know what repression is. The Democratic majority cutting off amendments is NOT repression. Repression involves cutting off body parts.

Pete Hoekstra and John Culberson, ladies and gentlemen. Putting the "Twit" in "Twitter."

How Crazy is Rachel Marsden?

Actually, it turns out, pretty damn crazy.

Here's a quick list: (source)

• 1997: Rachel accuses Liam Donnelly of rape, harassment, and whatever else she can think of. Heads roll. Student body embarrassed. But apparently this started in 1993, when she was a teenager and he demoted her from the neighbourhood swim team.
• 1999: SFU threatens to evict Rachel Marsden from the campus residences for continuing to stalk Donnelly, for harassing and stalking SFU’s Harassment policy co-ordinator Patricia O’Hagan (leading O’Hagan to quit, change her number, and move) and also SFU Criminology Professor Neil Boyd, who takes his case to the RCMP. Clearly a woman with no sense of her own irony.
• 2000: Rachel Marsden’s father, Claude Arthur Marsden, is found guilty of professional misconduct. “Mr. Marsden engaged in a sexual relationship with a sixteen year old female student.”
• 2003: Marsden becomes a “Babe for Bush”.
• 2004: Marsden is fired by BC conservative MP Gurmant Grewal, where she was working under the alias “Elle Henderson”, after it is revealed she’s facing harassment charges in a BC court.
• 2004: Marsden is convicted of stalking and harassing Michael Morgan, a Vancouver radio host with whom she worked (or tried to) at radio station CFUN, according to some reports from 2002-2004.
• 2007: Marsden is escorted from the building by her new employer, Fox News, after the infamous Salon piece and after some rumours (propagated by her, it seems) that she had begun harassing the host of “Red-Eye”, Greg Gutfeld.
• 2007: Marsden accuses Tony Backhurst, an Ontario police officer and unsuccessful Tory MP candidate of “leaking security secrets to her” after he files a complaint of harassment against her and the RCMP launches an investigation.

So, yeah, she may actually be insane. Now I feel kinda bad about making fun of her. On the other hand, she does seem kinda evil. So there's that.

The Susan Boyle Backlash

It was only a couple months ago when everyone was telling everyone "oh, you've gotta see this singer on youtube, she's amazing"

And she was.

She was really good and everyone loved her.

But now, it seems like everyone on the internet hates her all of a sudden. I keep seeing things like this:

I really hate Susan Boyle !!!

I really don't like Susan Boyle. Why do people like her so much ?

Anyone else sick of hearing about susan boyle?

Im am soooooo sick of hearing about her its unbelevable!

Re:Anyone else sick of hearing about susan boyle?

I agree. Fed up to the back teeth seeing that ugly face everywhere.

This Website is Officially Sick of Susan Boyle

by John Cole

It's official. I'm sick of Susan Boyle. . . .because she had a better-than-average karaoke voice, and whose looks resembled the ghost of Ruhla Lynska.

But someone named Rachel Mardsen is the only one I know of to see the parallel between Susan Boyle and Adolph Hitler.

Yes, that Hitler.

From Susan Boyle To Hitler: Why Some Simply Can’t Hack Fame

by Rachel Marsden

06/04/2009

This is my "super-serious writer" look.





No, wait.

Okay, THIS is my "super-serious writer"look!





















But they made me use this picture for my byline!




So, what could the connection possibly be between the songstress and the genocidal monster?

Apparently, neither handled fame well. Which is, usually, the main criticism leveled at Hitler.

If we should be learning anything from the Susan Boyle meltdown phenomenon, it’s that the average person isn’t cut out for fame. The same holds true for political leaders.
Susan Boyle lived a quiet, simple country life alongside companions of the mainly feline persuasion, until she was thrust into the spotlight on Britain’s Got Talent.

Not to quibble, but she wasn't exactly "thrust" into the spotlight. She sought it out.

. . .she was thrust into the spotlight on Britain’s Got Talent and instantly became the focus of fantasy projections by every single fat slob splayed out on the couch with a Budweiser in-hand. Wiping a tear into their brew, it donned on them that they, too, could become rich and famous if Simon Cowell came knocking at their door, dragged them and their housecoat into the makeup chair, wiped the Cheetos off the corner of their mouth and gave them a shot at superstardom. Boyle doesn’t have the greatest voice, but she’s Sarah Brightman to every chump who likes to think he’s Sinatra on Friday nights at the karaoke bar. If she can get “discovered”, then fame and fortune could just as easily be theirs, as well. Or so the thinking goes.

Okay, have you even heard her sing? No one listened to her sing and thought "that could just as easily be me" You might as well watch the NHL playoffs and think "if only I had kept my skates. . ."

And, as previously mentioned, she was not "dragged into the makeup chair," she auditioned for the show quite willingly.

Oh, and by the way, it's generally considered good manners to at least attempt to disguise one's contempt for the common folk.

The truth is that the “average” person doesn’t have the personality to contend with fame. What exactly is that “x-factor” that predisposes a person to both fame and the ability to properly manage it? It’s precisely two things: Hard knocks over a long period of adjustment, combined with a histrionic personality type (and ideally, but not always, some substance or talent).

Histrionic personality? Doesn't histrionic mean overly emotional?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, histrionic people are “dramatic or theatrical”, have “intense emotions”, need to be “the center of attention”

So, yeah, that type of personality would probably lead one to seek fame, but would it help one to deal with it?













But anyway, what does any of this have to do with Hitler?

The histrionic personality, this “je ne sais quoi” I have just defined,
is what draws us to a person

Um, I believe that the term "je ne sais quoi" refers to that which is undefinable. it translates from french as "I don't know what."

The prevalence of thick-skinned, talented histrionics isn’t limited to pop culture fame. The same rules apply to successful political leaders.

Okay, are we going to get to Hitler now?

Winston Churchill: Rebellious child, speech impediment, largely ignored by his mother. Everyone laughed at him when he warned of Hitler as a possible threat. By the time he became Prime Minister for the first time in 1940, he had been taking abuse in the
federal political arena for 30 years and had obviously developed some good
coping mechanisms. Still has some of the best one-liners in history.

Also a drunk, but I guess some might consider that a "coping mechanism."

George W. Bush: Born wealthy and connected, but made to work. Barbara Bush wasn’t going to be raising any spoiled brats.

Except that she did.

Ran some businesses,

Into the ground

Made difficult moral decisions related to Texas Death Row executions.

"Fry 'em all!" doesn't seem like a difficult moral decision.

Developed a tried and tested character and moral conscience by the time he took office as President.

Also a drunk.

The media hung on his every word. Doubled as Comedian in Chief due to the editing of his reality show by the mainstream media.

The same media which "hung on his every word" also edited him to look foolish. Because unedited, his speeches are like a cross between "I have a dream" and "Ich bin ein Berliner." But the media (who so admired him that they hung on his every word) edited his sound bites so that it appeared he couldn't string together a coherent sentence. That's exactly what happened.

But what about Hitler?

And now, for the most renowned political equivalent of a reality show crack-up:

Adolph Hitler: Spoiled by his mother, failed art school entry exams twice, claims to have had an “easy life”. Joined the German Worker’s Party as official blowhard. Resumed his art career by presiding over the design of the swastika. Pretty much a weak, useless spoiled brat beyond a few odd jobs as a draftsman and painter. What Hitty wants, Hitty gets. And the world paid for it. Relied heavily on his “entourage” to boost his weak ego.

So the slaughter of 6 million Jews, plus Gypsies, Homosexuals, etc. and millions more dead in WWII, that is the equivalent of a "reality show crackup"? And the holocaust was a result of Hitler's cracking under pressure? Like Hitler had no anti-semitic tendancies when he took office, it was only the pressure of the spotlight that caused him to snap? Have you ever heard of Mein Kampf? Hitler was a complete unknown when he wrote that.

And Hitler was coddled by his mother, so he invaded Poland. George W. Bush was raised by a strict mother and he invaded Iraq. I'm not even sure what the logic is supposed to be here. And I sure don't see what the fuck any of this bullshit has to do with poor Susan Boyle. Who is this Rachel Masden, and just how baboon-ass crazy is she? Tomorrow, I attempt to find out.