What could be Lamer?

Finally, the answer to that age-old question:
"What could be lamer than a Civil War Re-enactment?"

Well, this.
This could be.

St. Martin’s Press and Gingrich Communications Announce First Ever Historical Re-enactment on Twitter

“Twitternactment” to Re-enact the Battle of Trenton

Newt Gingrich and God knows how many other pathetic weirdos will be re-enacting the battle of Trenton using Twitter.

Twitter.

Really.

Twitter users can follow General George Washington (@genwashington76), Jonathan Van Dorn, a private in the colonial army (@pvtvandornNJ), and Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall (@colonelrall), as they simulate the crossing of the Delaware River and the attack on Trenton the following morning in real time.

So you thought guys running around in Confederate uniforms firing toy guns at each other was pathetic? You don't know the meaning of the word "pathetic" until you've witnessed a Twitter battle!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if Twitter had existed in the 18th Century, George Washington would Not have taken time away from fighting the Revolutionary Fucking WAR to send "real-time tweets" to a bunch of douchebags in their jammies. If General Washington had caught one of his men "tweeting," he would have had him court-marshalled if he didn't just shoot him in the head to save time.

“In To Try Men’s Souls, Bill Forstchen and I try to bring Washington and the other historical figures to life, trying to imagine what their conversations were like and what they were feeling while crossing the Delaware in extreme cold and sleet,” said Newt Gingrich. “This “twitternactment” will be a new way for people to experience history “in the moment.”

Someone needs to tell Newt that imaginary conversations using anachronistic technology probably doesn't qualify as actual "history." Let me save you some time, you want to know what Washington and his men were feeling while crossing the Delaware?
Cold And Scared.

There, now you can skip the Twit-enactment, or whatever it's called.

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