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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Insane Quote of the Day

Pat Bertroche, speaking about illegal immigrants:

"I think we should catch 'em, we should document 'em, make sure we know where they are and where they are going...I actually support microchipping them. I can micro-chip my dog so I can find it. Why can't I microchip an illegal? That's not a popular thing to say, but it's a lot cheaper than building a fence
they can tunnel under."


Who's Pat Bertroche?
I have no freakin' idea, but he's running for Congress in Iowa!

http://theiowarepublican.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/patbertroche1-300x187.png

http://www.bertroche4congress.com/pat4congress.png

Here's what he has to say on his website:


I’m sick of good, hardworking people struggling to support those that just want to sponge off the system. And I’m not talking about people who are disabled, or the old folks, or people that need help. I’m talking about the politicians who pad their wallets on our bill. . . OR the Wall Streeters who are still driving their limos and flying their jets on OUR dime! I’m sick and tired of working long hours just to make sure the fat cats maintain their lifestyle. Aren’t you? Pres. Obama promised us change. Changing to Communism isn’t what I had in mind.


Communism? I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Using tax dollars to help a wealthy elite maintain their lavish lifestyle is kind of the exact opposite of Communism. Nice try, though! Let's check out the page entitled "Pat's Ideas"
Oddly, the page is very difficult to read, since the text is against a strange blue background (check it out)

Conservatism: What it means to Pat

Synopsis of the article:

1. Conservatism for me calls for self governance
2. Live as you preach
3. Compassion and reason for your fellow man
4. Good sportsmanship, and grace in defeat.
5. Freedom and prosperity for EVERYONE
6. The Constitution means something, and shouldn't be subverted for short term political gain



So, let me see if I'm getting this.
Point one: ANARCHY!!!!!

Point Two: Conservatism does not include Larry Craig, (gay bathroom sex) Rush Limbaugh, (druggie and serial divorcee) David Vitter (loves hookers) or Newt Gingrich (serial adulterer and double divorcee)

Point Three: I don't think there's any such thing as "reason for your fellow man." I think maybe what you mean to say is Compassion for your fellow man, and also I'm in favor of reason?

Point Four: Yeah, right! If by "grace in defeat" you mean constant threat of filibuster, and if by "good sportsmanship" you mean obstruction for the sake of obstruction.

Point Five: Communism!!! Seriously, "prosperity for EVERYONE?" Go on, comrade!

Point Six: Yeah, I'll give you that one, except that pretending that that is a principle unique to conservatives is total BS.


Then the rest of the article is a giant love letter to a fictionalized version of Ronald Reagan who was basically Jesus with tax cuts and nukes. Then this:

Ronald Reagan believed in Christ and the principles of Christ and believed whole heartedly in the Way and the Life. If you followed the Way and the Life, which is very similar to what other prophets of God have suggested, then you’d understand the basic laws of decency and kindness and acceptance and equality of those who are different, seeing the individual for who they are and what their potential is.
(emphasis added)

How you go from acceptance and equality to "fuck it, let's microchip 'em like dogs" is beyond me.


Of course, here in Georgia, we actually have a law making it illegal to implant microchips in people against their will.

Seriously. This is what our state legislature feels like they need to spend their time on.

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Delusions, the Legislature and an implanted microchip

At the House hearing, state Rep. Ed Setzler (R-Kennesaw), who is shouldering the legislation in the House, spoke earnestly for better than a half hour on microchips as a literal invasion of privacy.

He was followed by a hefty woman who described herself as a resident of DeKalb County. “I’m also one of the people in Georgia who has a microchip,” the woman said. Slowly, she began to lead the assembled lawmakers down a path they didn’t want to take.

Microchips, the woman began, “infringe on issues that are fundamental to our very existence. Our rights to privacy, our rights to bodily integrity, the right to say no to foreign objects being put in our body.”

She spoke of the “right to work without being tortured by co-workers who are activating these microchips by using their cell phones and other electronic devices.”

She continued. “Microchips are like little beepers. Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city. All done without your permission,” she said.

It was not funny, and no one laughed.


http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/Simpsons_CrazyCatLady.jpg

“Ma’am, did you say you have a microchip?” asked state Rep. Tom Weldon (R-Ringgold).

“Yes, I do. This microchip was put in my vaginal-rectum area,” she replied. Setzler, the sponsoring lawmaker, sat next to the witness – his head bowed.


And Now. . . .

. . . The Punchline!

The woman was allowed to go about her business, and the House Judiciary Committee approved passage of SB 235.




2 comments:

Lockwood said...

I interpret point three to mean "compassion and reason are for other people," which is honestly pretty much in line with modern conservatism.

Professor Chaos said...

That does make more sense!