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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Janet is Bringing Panic Back!

Remember how for a couple of years after 9/11, everyone was so paranoid about everything and everything looked like a bomb 

http://consumerist.com/images/consumerist/2008/05/boston-guerilla-bomb-scare_02.jpg
  and we were all on the verge of panic all the time? Those were good times! Terrorists hiding under every bed, sleeper cells in every neighborhood, I miss those days. You know who else misses that? Janet Napolitano! That's why this video will be playing at Wal-Marts all over the U.S. of A.



God, could you imagine being local law enforcement getting calls day and night from WalMart customers who think they saw Osama bin Laden parking his Winnebago in the parking lot?


Can you imagine fielding the calls from people like this lady or gentleman


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every time s/he sees "something suspicious," like a hippy or a Jew!


Is this the person Janet Napolitano thinks would be a good help in collecting intelligence on possible domestic terrorists?
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You really think this guy

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is going to be a valuable asset keepin' an eye out fer any trubble?

Okay, maybe this guy
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He looks like he might be pretty handy with a shootin' iron. Although I'd be a mite worried 'bout that itchy trigger finger of his'n.


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Honestly, do you think there has ever been a moment in this woman's life where she hasn't seen "something suspicious?"

4 comments:

Kim Hambric said...

My Mom's been in the hospital for 3 weeks now. She looks like shit, to tell the truth. I think I'll show her these photos & she's bound to feel a whole lot prettier.

I think she's already a bit suspicious, though.

Now, I'm off to eat my dinner, if I can manage to choke it down after seeing these photos.

Professor Chaos said...

Best wishes to your mom. Hope she gets better soon.

jadedj said...

Listen, this is a good thing. I for one have already put in a call to the Homeland Walmart people. Just the other day, I was in the towel section of Walmart, and there were some dark skin looking alien types in there buying TOWELS! We all know what they wear on their heads, don't we? Sooooo, hells bells, I have no problem reporting this kind of activity. It should make you feel safer...it does me.

Ahab said...

I try to stay out of Wal-Mart for this very reason!