How To Make It Worse

 You know, when you do something embarrassing and people are laughing at you, one option would be to shrug it off and just wait until another panda cub sneezes or the next socially awkward person acts out a sci-fi movie and everyone forgets about you. That would be one option. Or. . .

1. Woman Who Fell in Fountain in YouTube Video May Sue

   Remember how we all laughed last Friday at the cautionary tale that was “Girl falls into fountain while texting at the Berkshire Mall”? Well, the folks at the mall where the incident occurred probably aren’t laughing now, as Cathy Cruz Marrero (the fountain woman) is considering suing them. 

Or you could go on Good Morning America to discuss a potential lawsuit.

 

I gotta say, the video of her GMA appearance is waaaaaaay funnier than the video of her falling into the fountain. "Nobody went to my aid!" Um, maybe because it took you all of 3 seconds to climb out of the fountain?

"It could have been anyone's mother, it could have been a senior citizen!" Yeah, but it wasn't. An old lady falling into a fountain would not have been funny. A self-absorbed twit falling into a fountain, now that's hilarious!

 "The fountain could have been empty, I could be in the hospital. I could have got hit by a car!" You know what, you also could have knocked over an old lady with a walker. You could have trampled a toddler. Watch where the fuck you're going and you won't have this problem. 

I think she expects us to feel sorry for her. The only one I feel sorry for is George Stephanopolous. He's gotta be regretting his most recent career move. Goddammit, George, you used to work in the White House! Now you're interviewing the YouTube ninny of the week. Nice move.