In its first sustainability report since the Deepwater Horizon explosion triggered the spill last year, BP claims that it leaked more oil in 2006 and 2008 than it did in 2010.
How is this possible, since 2010 included the worst oil spill ever in the history of everything?
. . . on the first page of the report, the company lists the amount of oil, CO2 and methane it released into the environment in 2010. However, on closer inspection it turns out that those figures don't include the oil leaked in last summer's Gulf spill. The reason? According to a message from the company in the report's fine print, "no accurate determination" of the extent of the disaster has been made to date. The survey goes on to note that the company decided to omit that embarrassing incident in the Gulf "due to our reluctance to report data that has such a high degree of uncertainty."
So they're not going to count the Gulf spill because the amount spilled is too much to count?
Your honor, my client can't be charged with murder since it is impossible to count the number of stab wounds inflicted on the victim.
But honey, you can't accuse me of cheating! Not until there's an accurate count of how many women I've slept with!
Oh, and also there's this:
BP employee lost a laptop containing personal data belonging to thousands of residents who filed claims for compensation after the Gulf oil spill, a company spokesman said Tuesday.
The data included a spreadsheet of claimants' names, Social Security numbers, phone numbers and addresses. But Thomas said the company doesn't have any evidence that claimants' personal information has been misused.
Asked why nearly a month elapsed before BP notified residents about the missing laptop, Thomas said, "We were doing our due diligence and investigating."
But they did finally contact the people whose data was on the missing computer. People like Matt O'Brien.
Matt O'Brien, part owner of Tiger Pass Seafood, a shrimp dock in Venice, La., said he had filed a claim with BP before the GCCF took over processing claims in August. A call from an AP reporter on Tuesday was the first he had heard that his personal information may have been among the data compromised.
Okay, maybe not him, but they notified everyone else, I'm sure.
Beau Weber, a fishing guide in Lafitte, La., also had filed a claim with BP prior to Aug. 23, and he had even received several monthly payments from BP. He said he hadn't received a letter from BP about the missing laptop.
Shameless. Utterly shameless. And they have the balls to issue this statement:
BP spokesman Curtis Thomas said the oil giant on Monday mailed out letters to roughly 13,000 people whose data was stored on the computer, notifying them about the potential data security breach and offering to pay for their credit to be monitored.
"We're committed to the people of the Gulf Coast states affected by the Deepwater Horizon accident and spill, and we deeply regret that this occurred," he said.
If this is what committed looks like, count me out.