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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Worst. Camp. Ever.

Tea party group offers summer camp

 By Marlene Sokol, Times Staff Writer
In Print: Tuesday, June 14, 2011

 Sign-making counts as arts & crafts!
TAMPA — Here's another option now that the kids are out of school: a weeklong seminar about our nation's founding principles, courtesy of the Tampa 912 Project.
The organization, which falls under the tea party umbrella, hopes to introduce kids ages 8 to 12 to principles that include "America is good," "I believe in God," and "I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable." 
Because it's never too soon to learn to be a self-centered prick!

Although I don't really get how you're going to teach children the principle of "I believe in God," seeing as how that's not actually a principle, but a declaratory statement.

Today, kids we're going to learn that you believe in God.

I do?

I just said so, didn't I?

You know, I learned something today. I learned that I believe in God. Thank you, camp counselor, for teaching me what I believe, because before I came here, I thought I was an agnostic. 

Organized by conservative writer Jeff Lukens and staffed by volunteers from the 912 Project, Tampa Liberty School will meet every morning July 11-15 in borrowed space at the Paideia Christian school in Temple Terrace.
"We want to impart to our children what our nation is about, and what they may or may not be told," Lukens said. 
What they may or may not be told? How are you going to enforce that?
"Dammit kids, you better not be getting told what I think you're being told!"
He said he was not familiar with public school curriculum, but, "I do know they have a lot of political correctness. 

Um, I'm not familiar with your writings, Mr. Lukens, but I know they have a lot of bullshit.

One example at Liberty: Children will win hard, wrapped candies to use as currency for a store, symbolizing the gold standard. On the second day, the "banker" will issue paper money instead. Over time, students will realize their paper money buys less and less, while the candies retain their value. 

 Really? 8-year-old kids are going to learn principles of macro-economics from your silly little candy game? And the paper money is only going to buy less and less because you're going to make it worth less and less. What sort of lesson are the kids supposed to learn from that? That you're a dick?

Another example: Starting in an austere room where they are made to sit quietly, symbolizing Europe, the children will pass through an obstacle course to arrive at a brightly decorated party room (the New World).

Jeezus Christ! Have you ever been to Europe? Austere and quiet does not sound like any European country I've been to! You're going to teach kids how awesome America is by pretending that Europe is a bare, silent room? What's going to happen when these kids someday see a picture of anywhere in Europe? They're going to realize that you're full of shit, that's what. 

So austere and quiet!

Red-white-and-blue confetti will be thrown. But afterward the kids will have to clean up the confetti, learning that with freedom comes responsibility.
Or they might learn that confetti isn't actually fun at all, and certainly not fun enough to be worth having to sweep it up afterwards.

Still another example: Children will blow bubbles from a single container of soapy solution, and then pop each other's bubbles with squirt guns in an arrangement that mimics socialism. They are to count how many bubbles they pop. Then they will work with individual bottles of solution and pop their own bubbles.
"What they will find out is that you can do a lot more with individual freedom," Lukens said. 

All we do all day is pop each others' bubbles.
('Cuz we're Sweden. And Sweden is kinda socialist)

I'm not sure how popping bubbles symbolizes socialism or why popping your own bubbles is supposed to be better. That actually seems kind of sad, blowing bubbles then popping them. How is that supposed to teach kids to hate socialism?

"We've had classes for adults," said Karen Jaroch, who chairs the Tampa 912 Project. "Now we want to introduce a younger generation to economics and history, but in a fun way." 

Then someone showed her the definition of the word "fun," and she said "oh, no. No, that's not what I meant."
"We definitely teach the Constitution, especially during Constitution Week," said Linda Cobbe, a school district spokeswoman. She said the district would need to make sure the organization does not have a political agenda, and that they would need to be approved by SERVE, a nonprofit agency that clears volunteers in the schools.

Doesn't have a political agenda? Doesn't have a political agenda? Are you kidding? You might as well say you're going to make sure that the New York Yankees don't have a baseball-playing agenda.
I don't know why the school district would have to approve this since it is being held
at the Paideia Christian school in Temple Terrace, but if the school district is involved, I don't think you're really the one to be teaching the Constitution, since you clearly don't have a firm grasp of the separation of Church and State.


a rose is a rose said...

i thought this was all a put on. but you're NOT making this shite up. on the positive side, there are less than 2,000 tampa 9/12ers in total (yes, i did have to visit their site but i got out right quick!)

not just A dick BUT a BAG OF DICKS. all of 'em

jadedj said...

Dumbest ass thing I've ever heard, but then I'm not surprised. Have you ever been to Tampa? It's about as conservative as it gets.