New Feature -- Funny Woman of the Day

Our Inaugural Funny Woman of the Day is North Carolina's Amy Sedaris!

Oh, well this seems sincere!

Repeal and Replace! It's the new rallying cry of the Republican party.

 

But why?

Why would you want to replace "Obamacare?" You've been telling us for years that we have the "best healthcare system in the world."

So why, if you succeed in repealing the thing that you claim is ruining it, would you replace it with anything?

Wouldn't you just repeal "Obamacare" and go back to the "best system in the world?"

Or are you just being your usual disingenuous, mendacious selves?

I suppose we shouldn't be all that surprised

that John Roberts decided to uphold Obamacare. He is, if nothing elde, a corporatist to the bone and the individual mandate seems likely to increase the profits of the healthcare giants by a pretty big amount. A law that requires people to purchase your product and subsidises those who can't buy it on their own? That's Aetna's wet dream!

It must have been a tough decision for Roberts, choosing between increasing corporate profits and sticking a thumb in the eye of Obama - - I mean deciding whether the law was Constitutional!

This is just priceless

Hopefully, some of these people were joking, but i'm willing to bet most weren't. For those who were joking: not bad!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare

Hey, Texas Republicans, You Said That Out Loud!

 

The Texas Republican Party recently released its 2012 platform. As one might expect, it oscillates back and forth between crazy and stupid. There's a few dumb things you might expect, like

We also urge the Texas Legislature and the U.S. Congress to enact legislation prohibiting any judicial jurisdiction from allowing any substitute or parallel system of Law, specifically foreign Law (including Sharia Law)

You know, just because legislation is spectacularly unneccessary is no reason NOT to pass it!

and

Unelected, Appointed Bureaucrats (Czars) - We decry the appointment of unelected bureaucrats, and we urge Congress to use their constitutional authority to defund and abolish these positions and return authority to duly elected officials, accountable to the electorate.

Sure, let's vote for every fucking bureaucrat. I want the assistant to the under-secretary of agriculture to be directly accountable to me, the voter.  I can't have the President just going around appointing middle-managers to oversee the study of interstate traffic patterns without the voters weighing in.

There's the wholly pointless stuff, like

Electoral College - We strongly support the Electoral College.

Really, that's the entire bullet point. "we strongly support the Electoral College." Maybe they had to meet some minimum number of words or something?

And there's the crazy stuff like

Emergency War Powers and Martial Law Declarations - We strongly urge Congress to repeal the War Powers Act and end our declared state of emergency. Any Declaration of Martial law should be approved by Congress.

Because the president could be declaring martial law any minute without that Congressional check.
Also, wouldn't it be better to say "No Martial Law?" Why say no martial law unless. . . ?

and

Transportation Corridors – We oppose the construction of transportation projects which surrender control or ownership to foreign interest. We oppose the use of eminent domain for construction of a “trans-Texas corridor” or similar project which would create a federal corridor through Texas.

Yeah! I am so sick of the feds building roads and then giving them to the Belgians!
Also, um, you do know Interstate 10 already runs through Texas, right? I-10 is a federal road. A federal road through Texas. So you've kind of already lost this battle. Sorry.

And the assholish stuff like

Natural resources and conservation easements; groundwater and/or mineral rights are a vested ownership. Conservation easements, involving watersheds, green areas and nationalization of lands should be resisted in the strongest manner applicable.

'Cuz don't tell me I can't dump my leftover meth chemicals in the drinking water!

 

 There's even some stuff that makes sense, like

Judicial Nominees - We urge Republican Senate leadership to ensure that a record vote is taken on every judicial nominee.

Wow! When even the Texas Republican Party is fed up with your constant filibustering, maybe it's time to knock it off!

But there are a couple of planks in this platform that are truly shocking, even by Texas Republican Standards. First, there's this:

Voter Rights Act – We urge that the Voter Rights Act of 1965 codified and updated in 1973 be repealed and not reauthorized.

Wow! Um, guys, you're supposed to pretend that you don't intend to engage in voter suppression.

Oh, but that's nothing compared to this:

Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Holy schneikies!

 Isn't challenging the student's fixed beliefs the whole point of education?
Oh, no we can't have that.
Let's say a student has a fixed belief that an old man who lives at the North Pole brings all the children of the world toys once a year. Sure would hate to have him ever challenge that belief!
Or let's say a kid has a fixed belief that the sun rises every morning out of the Gulf of Mexico, flies across the sky every day, then sets down in the Sea of Cortez each evening, because that's sure what it looks like. Can't have that belief challenged!

I know Republicans don't really like people to use critical thinking skills, but holy shit! You're not supposed to say that out loud!

Scalia is a Hack

 

Antonin Scalia isn't even making an effort to disguise his partisan hackery.
In his dissent on the SB1070 "papers, please" decision, he not only takes gratuitous swipes at Barack Obama's immigration policy, he says ridiculous things like this:

"If securing its territory in this fashion is not within the power of Arizona, we should cease referring to it as a sovereign state." 

Yes, we should. Except no one does. No one refers to Arizona as a sovereign state, because Arizona is not a sovereign state. Arizona, like every other state, is subject to the laws of the US Federal government. That's why, even though California has legalized medicinal marijuana, anyone who uses medical pot is still running the risk of arrest by the D.E.A. Because Federal Law supercedes State law. It's Article VI, Clause II, the "Supremacy Clause."





And this:

"Arizona bears the brunt of the country’s illegal immigration problem. Its citizens feel themselves under siege by large numbers of illegal immigrants. . .
What I do fear—and what Arizona and the States that support it fear—is that ‘federal policies’ of nonenforcement will leave the States helpless before those evil effects of illegal immigration. . "

Because, as any law professor will tell you, the first step to determining the constitutionality of a law is to consider how people feel about it.


And this:

There is no doubt that “before the adoption of the constitution of the United States” each State had the authority to “prevent [itself] from being burdened by an influx of persons.”

Great. Before the adoption of the Constitution. How is that relevant to our reality in which the Constitution has been adopted?

 

And this:

The Articles of Confederation had provided that “the free inhabitants of each of these States, paupers, vagabonds and fugitives from justice excepted, shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of free citizens in the several States.” Articles of Confederation, Art. IV.

The Articles of Confederation? You mean the document that was scrapped and replaced by the Constitution? That Articles of Confederation? Does Scalia really think that they have any relevance?

And this:

Two other provisions of the Constitution are an acknowledgment of the States’ sovereign interest in protecting their borders. Article I provides that “[n]o State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it’s inspection Laws.” Art. I, §10, cl. 2. This assumed what everyone assumed: that the States could exclude from their territory dangerous or unwholesome goods.

Hey, at least he's referring to the actual Constitution this time. Of course, the part he quotes deals with imports and exports, not people, and severely limits the states' ability to restrict those. But still. . . it's something? I guess?




And this:

Are the sovereign States at the mercy of the Federal Executive’s refusal to enforce the Nation’s immigration laws?
A good way of answering that question is to ask: Would the States conceivably have entered into the Union if the Constitution itself contained the Court’s holding?

Yes, speculation about what might have happened 200 years ago under different hypothetical circumstances is probably the best way to answer thorny legal questions!

And the capper:

. . . in the first 100 years of the Republic, theStates enacted numerous laws restricting the immigra- tion of certain classes of aliens, including convicted criminals, indigents, persons with contagious diseases, and (in Southern States) freed blacks.

Yeah, states used to be allowed to keep the blacks out, so why not the browns? Seriously? This is your precedent? You know states were also allowed to have slavery during the first 100 years of the Republic. Should we bring that back, too? No, don't answer that.

Kings and Queens

Recently, dimwitted senator Scott Brown (R-MA, how weird is it to type that?) had this to say about his busy busy days:

"Each and every day that I've been a United States senator, I've been discussing issues, meeting on issues, in secret meetings and with kings and queens and prime ministers and business leaders and military leaders, talking, voting, working on issues every single day," he said on the Jim Braude and Margery Eagan Show.  

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/scott-brown-fast-furious-9925053#ixzz1ywv3i5pM

Secret meetings with kings and queens? Really?

I'm quite sure Queen Elizabeth is not interrupting her Jubilee to schlep across the pond to hold a secret meeting with a first-term backbencher who might possibly throw her majesty's tea into Boston Harbor, and I have to figure that Queens Noor and Latifah both have better things to do with their time, so who are these kings and queens (and possibly Czarinas?) with whom Brown is secretly meeting? One can only speculate. . .

 

maybe the Burger King?

 

Or the Queen Mary?

 

King Cobra would make sense.

 

Or the King of Cartoons?

I suppose Brown might be hunky enough to lure 

Priscilla Queen of the Desert into a private meeting.

Or the ghost of Freddy Mercury

 

But no. Brown's spokesman cleared up the mystery:

Brown spokesman Colin Reed said in an e-mail that "Senator Brown was speaking generally about private meetings he has had with foreign and domestic leaders." He later acknowledged that Brown, who has made his reputation as a truck-driving everyman, has not met with any royalty. "He misspoke when he said kings and queens," Reed said.

He misspoke. He said "kings and queens" when he meant to say "wings and beans" which is what he has each and every day for lunch?

With a side of Lime Sinister?

(cuz he also said prime ministers)

Still, we're supposed to believe that this doofus:



is meeting each and every day with world leaders of some sort?  I would think this putz would have trouble getting a meeting with Mitch McConnell.

Rebutting Bill Gates

So this has been making the rounds lately. And there's a pretty good chance that Bill Gates never wrote this, because this sort of thing usually turns out to be fake, but judging by the number of people forwarding this in e-mails or posting it on the Facebook or whatever, there are a lot of folks who think that these are words to live by. So let's take a look at the 11 Things.


Rule # 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it.
Sure, why should we try to make life more fair, says the guy with 20 zillion dollars.

Rule # 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Why do these people hate self-esteem so much? I used to occasionally catch bits & pieces of Dr. Laura on the radio, and she was always railing about self-esteem and  how upset she was that people tried to help kids have it. I'm fairly sure that a person who feels good about himself is more likely to accomplish something, anyway. As someone who grew up with very low self-esteem, I can tell you it's no way to live. So fuck you, anyone who would deny a child the right to feel good about him/herself.

Rule # 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.
Yeah, no one thinks that. No one thinks they're going to earn decent money right out of high school, let alone be a vice president. And certainly no one thinks that they are going to travel back in time to the point where having a "car phone" was some sort of status symbol.

 

Rule # 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Let's hold off for a minute on this one. Wait 'till we get to #8.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

That may be true, seeing as how my grandparent were German immigrants and may not have understood what the word "opportunity" means, but those of us fluent in English know the difference between "opportunity" and "dead-end job that pays a minimum wage which is nowhere near enough to support yourself."

 

Rule # 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault; so don't whine about your mistakes,

learn from them.

I'm not whining about my mistakes, I'm blaming my parents, so I'm not really acknowledging that I have in fact made a mistake.

Rule # 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

 So, because my parents used to be cool, fuck the rainforest? I don't really see the logic here.  Because my parents paid my bills, it doesn't matter that the rainforests are being destroyed? My parents did a lot for me so there are no rainforest-destroying parasites in their generation? Seriously, I don't see what the point is supposed to be.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Wait. you said in rule # 4 that my teachers are tough. Now you're saying that that they're not failing anyone and giving you multiple chances to get the right answer? I don't think that that's even true. I know a couple of teachers, I'm going to e-mail them and find out if they've ever heard of any schools where failing grades have been eliminated. Here's what I do know, though. In the company where I work (a large Fortune-500 company) we have training videos for every aspect of the job, including government-mandated safety training, on line. If, at the end of the  class, you get an answer wrong, the program will replay the part of the video that covered that material and give you a similar question to answer. If you get it wrong again, the process repeats as many times as necessary until you get the questions all correct and the program says "congratulations! You scored 100%!" This is in "real life," not some fictional school. So the fictional school where no one fails and you get to take the test over and over bears a hell of a strong resemblance to my real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you "FIND YOURSELF". Do that on your own time.

Really? You don't get summers off? Really? You really think kids don't know that? You really think that they don't see their parents working during the summer and put 2 & 2 together?  

And really, who "finds themselves" anymore? Who does that? I'm really starting to think that this was written in the mid 70's. Really.

Rule 10: Television and video games are NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Why would you think that anyone would not realize this? You would have to have pretty serious mental problems to think that real life looked anything like this

or this




Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Sure, why be a decent person unless there's going to be some payoff in the end.
Also, very few "nerds" end up being Bill Gates. Chances are, the guy you'll end up working for was the star of his high-school football team, or class president. He's not overly bright, but he's got a certain charisma and a a shit-ton of self-confidence from having been the big man on campus. The guys playing Dungeons and Dragons in their spare time will probably end up being smart-ass bloggers. Hey, wait!

Oh, My God! Geraldo Was Right!

Wearing a hoodie IS dangerous!





Something about wearing a hoodie will make an unintelligent animal want to kill you!

More Funny Women

Sweet Dee, The Waitress and Artemis from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

DEFINITELY  NSFW!




Sweet Dee & Charlie - Stand-up Comedy by natkoden

Mitt on Colorado

Colorado fire tops 58,000 acres; weather stays hot and windy

 

Can you believe that Dick Obama wants to hire more firefighters?

Did he not get the message?

Funny Women

For some reason, people sometimes ask Adam Carolla his opinion on things.

Newswire
 Adam Carolla doesn’t think women are funny

Carolla said that while he doesn’t hate working with women. “They make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff,” he said. He also added, “If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.'"

Well, he is right about one thing. Baby chickens are just not funny.

 

Adorable, yes. Funny, not so much.

 You know, I think I can understand why someone who had to grow up with this face:

 

and that voice might have some resentment against women.

I get it, no one wanted to date you, so fuck 'em all, right?

But women not funny? Are you serious?

Of the 4 funniest people I personally know, three are women. But granted, that's a pretty small sample size. But let's see, just off the top of my head. . .

Samantha Bee
Kristen Schaal
Wanda Sykes
Carol Liefer
Paula Poundstone
Ellen Degeneres
Judy Tenuta
Sarah Silverman
Janeane Garofalo
Kristen Wiig

I mean, have you not seen Bridesmaids?

And if you think Melissa McCarthy was funny in Bridesmaids, and she was, we saw her several years ago at the Groundlings in L.A. and she was HYSTERICAL doing her own material.


And has anyone noticed how much less funny SNL has been since Tina Fey was replaced as head writer with Seth Meyers?  Tina Fey wrote this:


old french whore - MyVideo

Granted, it may not be as clever as making fun of people who've been molested, but I think it's pretty funny.

There are lots of really, really funny women. Have you seen Maria Bamford?

Comedy Central Stand-Up
Get More: Jokes,Joke of the Day,Funny Jokes

Kerri Kinney-Silver is hilarious.

MAD TV had a whole bunch of really funny women. Like Stephanie Weir




Nicole Sullivan






Alex Borstein







Each and every one of these women is funnier than Adam Carolla.
Oh, and in case you're wondering if Adam Carolla is always an ass, listen to this:

New FCC Rule

There must be at least one Palin on TV at all times.

L to R: Todd,  Nutterbutter, Bristol, Thumbtack, Other Bristol.

Bristol Palin Says Reality Show Will Present Her as a 'Grounded, Normal Mom'

Because what is more normal than being followed around by TV cameras all day?

And what could be more "grounded" than the idea that you deserve to be treated as a celebrity without having accomplished a damn thing?

Palin will star in her own reality TV show. "Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp," will feature 10 half-hour episodes that will air on the Lifetime network starting June 19.
 
Palin, 21, sat down recently with "Good Morning America" anchor Robin Roberts to talk about the show.
 
Asked what it was to have cameras watching her every move, every hour of every day, she replied: "I don't really think you get used to all of it but Tripp was used to it the whole time.

But then, he's a lot more mature and intelligent than I am!

Roberts also asked Palin how her mother felt about her doing the series.
 
"You know, she supports me and she knows that I have good judgment so she is definitely in support of it," Palin replied.

Um, at what point have you demonstrated "good judgement?"
I think your mother saw an opportunity for you to get a bunch of money without doing anything and said "hell, yeah. You should jump on that scam right away!"

And the young woman's strong support of her mother is clearly demonstrated in the show, when she engages in a heated verbal exchange at a bull-riding bar with a man whose political views are different from those of her famous mother.
 
"I think if somebody is going to talk poorly about my mom, I am going to pick and choose my battles and a battle like that, I chose to confront him and see what the real problem was," she said,

Aww, she's already talking gibberish! Sarah must be so proud!

 

Proudly as a peacock of where I would! 

Mama Grizzly!

"and I'm excited for viewers to see the real me in that, because I'm sitting there all tough and shaking and I'm acting tough and instantly when it's over, it's like, 'OK, there's the real Bristol,' because I am calling my boyfriend, I'm calling my mom. 'Ah, get me out of here,' people are going to see the real Bristol in this show."

So even Bristol doesn't know who the real Bristol is? You see the "real Bristol" when she's "sitting there all tough," but then the real Bristol is calling her mom and her boyfriend? The real Bristol says "ah, get me out of here?" I don't get it.

She added that the real Bristol Palin is "a grounded, normal mom."

Ah, that's the real Bristol. Just a normal, grounded mom picking fights in redneck bars from 1981, I guess, because who still has bull-riding in a bar these days?

But sometimes, one Palin is not enough.

TV: Todd Palin to be on ‘Stars Earn Stripes’

Yes, Todd. The quiet Palin. The Kourtney to Sarah's Kris and Bristol's Khloe.

They're the Kardashians of right-wing politics would be the main take-away from that joke.

By Lisa De Moraes, Tuesday, June 19, 7:43 PM

Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd, is among those competing in NBC’s new reality series “Stars Earn Stripes,” the network revealed Tuesday.

This is not entirely surprising, given that “SES” exec producer Mark Burnett also exec-produced Sarah’s TLC reality series “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” And late last year, word around Hollywood was that Sarah and Burnett were pitching a reality series about Todd’s career as a championship snowmobile racer. Apparently, there were no takers.

No takers? Who wouldn't want to watch a show about a creepy secessionist trying to escape his atrocious wife's enormous shadow by riding around in a snowmobile and referring to it constantly as a "snow machine" even though a snow machine is something entirely different, a machine which makes artificial snow for ski resorts? I know I'd watch that. Under certain circumstances.

 

Yeah, that would do it.

 Each week on “Stars Earn Stripes,” the competitors, teamed with members of the military or law enforcement, will attempt to complete “missions” inspired by military exercises. The winnings will be donated to first-responder and veterans groups. Todd, for example, is playing for Armed Services YMCA Alaska, NBC said.

Wow! I'm pretty sure that's the first time a Palin has ever done anything to benefit anyone else. I mean, I'm sure he's getting paid to be on the show, and he is helping feed the family fame-addiction, but still. Armed Services YMCA sounds like a good cause. Not good enough to forgive the upcoming "Real Housewives of Wasilla" show, but still. Pretty nice.

Um, you get re-elected?

You get to have rehabilitating your image become a cottage industry?


You get huge fees for making stupid speeches?

MI House Treats Female Reps Like Disobedient Children.

Via C&L:

June 14, 2012 07:00 PM
Michigan State Legislators Ban Female Reps From Speaking

Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas has informed Minority Floor Leader Segal that Reps. Brown and Byrum will not be recognized to speak on the House floor today after being gaveled down for their comments and actions yesterday that failed to maintain the decorum of the House of Representatives. 

Wow! That is just. . . wow!

So what did they say that was so horrible that they had to be banned from speaking?

Apparently, one of them said "vagina."

 

Oh, sorry! I should have warned you such a horrifying word was coming.

Rep. Lisa Brown had this to say: "I'm flattered that you're all so concerned about my vagina. But no means no."

Apparently, that word is just too shocking for the delicate sensibilities of the Michigan  Legislature.

 “What she said was offensive,” said Rep. Mike Callton (R-Nashville). “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

Oh my God! Could you imagine the fainting spells if women were subjected to hearing the "V-word?"

I don't know how to break this to you, Mike, but I'm pretty sure women aren't offended by vaginas. They're offended by asses like you trying to control them.

e

Greetings from the Great Smokey Mountains

IMG_20120614_153110.jpg, a photo by spudboy67 on Flickr.

Going to be out of town for a few days. And the keyboar on th laptop is messed up. So posting will b a bit spotty or non-existnt for a fw days.

Another pastor who doth protest too much.

There's sadly nothing shocking about a minister spewing anti-gay hate like this from the pulpit:

“To be . . . have a tendency to be effeminate or homosexual is just as wicked as to have a tendency to be a womanizer . . .  What is our response? . . . First of all, there is a danger of reacting in the flesh, of responding not in a scriptural, spiritual way, but in a fleshly way. Kill them all. Right? I will be very honest with you. My flesh kind of likes that idea. 

 The only thing that makes this particular instance interesting is the minister's name.

Leatherman

His name is Leatherman!

Leatherman: I Long To Kill Gays “In A Fleshy Way”

First of all, there is a danger of reacting in the flesh, of responding not in a scriptural, spiritual way, but in a fleshly way.

Generally, when a preacher uses the term "the flesh," he is referring to the physical desires of the human body. Not only sexual desires, but also the desire for food, drink, comfort, etc. But mostly sex.  So, I guess Rev. Leatherman feels a stirring in the flesh when he thinks about the gay?

  

LeatherMan!

So Leatherman's church has a website whose home page now begins with this disclaimer:

Pastor Dennis Leatherman and the Mountain Lake Independent Baptist Church never have, do not now, and never will advocate the incarceration, mistreatment, and especially not the killing of homosexuals (or any other group of people). 

And I think that's a pretty good indication that you're doing a good job of spreading the Love of God, when you have to issue a statement saying you're not in favor of mass murder.I know Jesus was constantly being misunderstood like that. His disciples would say "Rabbi, here are the five loaves and two fishes. You do want us to murder these 5,000 people, right?" And Jesus would be all like "Murder? No, I said feed them! What the Hell?  Well, it's an honest mistake and no harm done. I guess I'll have to really enunciate from now on!"

Their site also contains a transcript of the sermon in question, which includes tidbits like:

And so I am going to speak tonight on homosexuality and the Bible. I hate even talking
about this behind the pulpit, to be honest with you. I feel dirty just talking about it.

Hmm, I wonder why. . .

I grew up outside of Philadelphia, just north of Philly and little suburb and sometimes we would go down into the city for various reasons for different things. And there were certain parts of the city where you just tried to avoid. They were dirty. They were dangerous. They
were very unpleasant. And so you tried to stay away from them.
. . . And we would drive down and we would get through some dangerous and nasty parts of the city and mom would say, “Don’t look at anybody. Just stare straight ahead. Don’t look at them.”
Why? Because it was just dangerous. You could get hurt

Oh, the number of injuries caused every year by looking at dirty people!

“Homosexuality is wrong. Amen, preach it. We need to put them all in prisons and
we ought to fence them in.” The same judgment on sodomy, God says the same
consequences for sodomites is the exact same thing that should be for
adulterers. Come on, now, let’s be consistent.

So, all the adulterers should be penned up together? You know what that sound like to me?

 

Also, there's a weird shot at Seinfeld:

"But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the
house round. . . And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? 

Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.”32
. . . That word “know,” get this, that word “know” comes from the Hebrew
word (yaw-dah’). Ever heard that term? Yada, yada, yada. It is a Hebrew word for
sexual intercourse.
Don’t tell me these yard birds on TV that make that phrase popular did not know what
that term meant. Don’t tell me that. They are Jewish.

 

I Knew!

 

Speaking of phrases and their origins, the term "Yardbird" is an old slang term for prisoner. It's like saying "Jailbird." It refers to the exercise yard most prisons have. So, why refer to the cast and writers of Seinfeld as "yardbirds?"

 

Oh, right!

Oh, and just for the record, here is an actual photo of rev. Dennis Leatherman and his beard:

A Winning Strategy

Republicans have finally settled on a theme for this year's election, and it's bound to resonate with the voters. It goes something like this:

 

And the Firefighters, and the teachers. . .

 Romney was first:

Romney said of Obama, "he wants another stimulus, he wants to hire more government workers. He says we need more fireman, more policeman, more teachers. Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It's time for us to cut back on government and help the American people." (source)

Firemen, policemen and teachers, of course, not being "American people."

 Then his campaign chair, the somehow-still-alive bag of pus John Sununu confirmed it:

JANSING: Do you think that taxpayers of this country want to hear fewer firefighters, fewer teachers, fewer police officers, from a strategic standpoint?
SUNUNU: If there’s fewer kids in the classrooms, the taxpayers really do want to hear there will be fewer teachers. [...]  I think this is a real issue. And people ought to stop jumping on it as a gaffe and understand there’s wisdom in the comment. (source)

And who knows more about wisdom than John Sununu?

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hold on one second. I'll ask the governor about this. What is wrong with jobs for teachers, firemen and police officers?
HUCKABEE: I can tell you. There's nothing wrong with it. My dad was a fireman. I love firemen jobs. But here's what you need. You need enough firemen to put out the fires. You don't arbitrarily go, hire firemen, policemen or teachers unless you have more kids in school.  (source)

 Or you certainly don't go willy-nilly hiring back the thousands of teachers, cops and firefighters who have gotten laid off in the last few years!

So that's the GOP strategy this year. Promise the electorate that there will be no more firefighters, no more schoolteachers, and no more police.

 

Good luck with that!