Thursday, July 12, 2012

Billy Graham's Daughter is Weird


(via Right Wing Watch)
Anne Graham Lotz: Pornography is a Sign of the End Times 

Speaking at the Epicenter Conference in Jerusalem, radical evangelist and daughter of Billy Graham, Anne Graham Lotz, elaborated on her belief that the end times are here. Quoting from Joel 1:6, she compared the locust plague with the pornography industry, saying that it constitutes an “invasion” upon our land.


Okay, I'll bite. Let me see what Joel 1:6 says.

According to "BibleGateway.com," it goes a little something like this:
Joel 1:6-8

King James Version (KJV)

6 For a nation is come up upon my land, strong, and without number, whose teeth are the teeth of a lion, and he hath the cheek teeth of a great lion.

7 He hath laid my vine waste, and barked my fig tree: he hath made it clean bare, and cast it away; the branches thereof are made white.

I don't see anything about a plague of locusts. I see lion references. Lions and figs, mainly, but no locusts.
But here's how the weird lady explains it:






Wow, that's quite a leap! Jumping straight from locusts to porn. How does that thought process work? Hmm, deep theological question. . .PORN!

Hmm, Jesus says here that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. I wonder if he meant that literally or. . .  PORN!

Seriously, it works with any Biblical conundrum.

If God is all-powerful, and he loves his people, then why do bad things happen PORN!!!

The locust invasion that destroyed the land, was like an army, but was not a human army. So then I was asking myself, what non-human army is invading our world and destroying it? Just like that I could think of pornography.

What kind of porn has this lady been watching that doesn't include humans? The National Geographic Channel is not porn, ma'am!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YniKlbPh29k/SnqP0XcYAlI/AAAAAAAAFoA/KTsFh9CdCrg/s400/mating_locusts.jpg  

(insert porno music here)

. . . what non-human army is invading our world and destroying it? Just like that I could think of pornography. Invading our land and our nation 

An army! A pornographic army! Invading our nation!

  

Look out! Here they come!

I know many's the time I've looked out my window to see an army of public fornicators marching down the street, invading people's homes and forcing them to watch.

Invading our land and our nation – just subtle, seeping corruption, destroying the fabric of society, tearing apart healthy relationships and families,

Mmmmm. . . invading! . . oooh. . .Subtle, seeping!  oh, destroying the fabric, tearing apart! Oh God Yes!


Sorry, what was I talking about?

Pornography makes more money in a year, than apple, Microsoft, Google, eBay, amazon, combined. That’s a disaster.

That's also ironic since that is a list of companies whose income derives largely from pornography. Okay, maybe not eBay, but Microsoft, Google, Apple - you think they wouldn't take ahuge hit if internet porn ceased to exist?


3 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The only plague I see around here is Billy Graham and his evangelizing brats.

Blueberry said...

A bunch of grasshoppers doing it makes for very icky porn.

I guess we must have been in the end times for thousands of years, based on the "signs" then.

Also, we're out of figs and wine.

Professor Chaos said...

Goddammit! Figs and wine! And be quick about it, boy!
My fig and wine boy is just not working out.