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Saturday, February 16, 2013

Who cares about Marco Rubio's drink of water?


that is some fine h-2-o


 
So he got thirsty. So what? Isn't the relevant topic here that he gave maybe the stupidest speech of all time?
 
 
Because he starts out with standard right-wing boilerplate like
 
More government isn't going to help you get ahead. It's going to hold you back.
More government isn't going to create more opportunities. It's going to limit them.
 
Which you expect from any Republican, and which are presented as if they were obvious facts with no evidence required. But then he goes on to talk about how his neighbors depend on Social Security and Medicare (big government programs) and how "Medicare, is especially important to me. It provided my father the care he needed to battle cancer and ultimately die with dignity. And it pays for the care my mother receives now."
 
And he used the Federal student loan program to be able to attend college, but for you, government is bad and will hold you back and blah, blah, blah. . .
 








And perhaps the stupidest sentence anyone has ever said
 
"When we point out that no matter how many job-killing laws we pass, our government can't control the weather – he accuses us of wanting dirty water and dirty air."
 
So when we make a stupid claim, the President in your imagination says something that in real life he didn't say? The government can't control the weather. What an asinine thing to say. The government can take measures to limit the amount of damage that human activity is doing to the climate, but they can't "control the weather" so why bother? And I don't recall the President saying that you want dirty water and dirty air, but you actually make a pretty good case for that like a minute later when you say: "God also blessed America with abundant coal, oil and natural gas. Instead of wasting more taxpayer money on so-called "clean energy" companies like Solyndra, let's open up more federal lands for safe and responsible exploration."
 
So, fuck clean energy, let's dig more coal - hey, why do you think we want dirty air? 
Actually, nobody thinks that you "want" dirty air. We think that you just don't give a damn whether or not it's clean as long as your donors are making lots of money.
 
And while we're on the subject of energy policy:
 
 "If we can grow our energy industry, it will make us energy independent, it will create middle class jobs and it will help bring manufacturing back from places like China."

Really? Being energy independent will cause manufacturing companies to say "forget paying Chinese slave laborers $2 an hour in shit conditions, now that the US is drilling for more oil, I say we move the factory back to Ohio and pay people a middle-class wage!"
 
 




And re: taxes
"Raising taxes won't create private sector jobs.  And there's no realistic tax increase that could lower our deficits by almost $4 trillion."
Well, first of all, no one said that raising taxes would create private sector jobs. Me going jogging every morning won't create any private sector jobs, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. I mean, I'm not going to, but I should. And come to think of it, I'm going to use that rationale when my wife suggests I get a bit of exercise occasionally: "but honey, that won't create any private sector jobs!"
As to the tax increase, I seem to recall a time when we had no deficit, when we had in fact, a budget surplus. Hmm, what was it that happened to change all that?

 

Oh, right!

 
I could go on, but it doesn't get any less stupid. Marco Rubio, or whoever wrote his rebuttal speech is a goddamm idiot. And that's what should be relevant not the drink of water.
 
Although, now that Rubio has tweeted out a picture of a bottle of Poland Spring water, I do wonder if maybe that wasn't a bit of product placement.

 
Are they a donor?
 

Oh, and also this was weird:

"I needed water, what am I going to do" Rubio told me this morning on "Good Morning America" while pulling out a bottle of water and taking a sip. "God has a funny way of reminding us we're human," he said.

Um, most people don't really need a reminder that they're human, Senator. We're usually well aware of our humanity.



PS It's always worth noting that Marco Rubio voted against renewing the Violence Against Women Act.

2 comments:

Brewella Deville said...

Voting against renewing the Violence Against Women act shouldn't be a post script. It should have been tattooed across the foreheads of each and every one of those idiots.

Professor Chaos said...

You're right. I didn't mean to downplay that.