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Tuesday, June 9, 2015

From the mouths of Babes

I'm not exactly sure who Rick Wiles is, but he seems to be someone who's allowed to have a radio show. A radio show to which people listen. A radio show people take seriously. I mean, not all people. Probably not all that many. I hope. (One site says he has over 100,000 listeners)

At any rate, I saw a brief article about this radio person on RWW:


On the Friday edition of “Trunews,” Religious Right broadcaster Rick Wiles interviewed “the mother of a toddler who prophesied that the ‘King is Coming!’” The mother, Chelsea Hansen, who said that she has been “following End Times for about four years,” told Wiles that she has had her own prophetic dreams, including one about how President Obama is “distracting” Americans from knowledge of God’s imminent judgment.
That’s all it took to convince Wiles, who said that Hansen’s dream is proof that Obama will soon “solve the Middle East crisis” to distract Americans.

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rick-wiles-obama-will-use-jade-helm-15-seize-power-2016#sthash.oAq1HWMh.dpuf

Her toddler. Her toddler prophesied that "the King" is coming. Even though he has, as we've been told so many times, left the building.

Well, sure. I mean if a toddler says it, ya gotta take that seriously. One time, my friends' 3 year old told me "Cookie Monster Big Bird Elmo" and sure enough, all three of them appeared on the tv screen the moment her mom pressed "play" on the DVD, just as the prophecy foretold!  It was eerie!
Although, another toddler recently picked up a leaf off her dads' lawn, handed it to me and declared "sharing!" And that prophesy has yet to be fulfilled, so I guess you gotta take these things with a grain of salt. Or maybe I just don't have the depth of wisdom needed to interpret this kind of prophetic pronouncement. I should really ask a minister.

Also, it's really good to know that dreams are really a foreshadowing of things to come. I look forward to hitting the winning homer in next year's World Series as well as playing onstage with the ghost of Jerry Garcia.

The amazing thing about this whole thing is that the mother actually posted a video of her toddler babbling in her crib in which she does seem to maybe say the word "coming" several times as well as the word "up" a bunch too, and somehow this all adds up to "my 2-year-old is a Prophet of the LORD!!!)

Here is her description of the video on YouTube:
At midnight (hours before this video was taken) Lily woke us up, knocking and talking at her door. She was saying, with urgency, "Something's coming! Something's coming!"

Ooh, something? Something is coming? Could it be Winter?

http://www.everbridge.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/winter-is-coming-jpeg-492x0_q85_crop-smart.jpg


Honestly, if my two year old came knocking on my door at midnight saying "something's coming, something's coming," I would move the Hell out of Amityville right away!



https://38.media.tumblr.com/2000e5540d83dce24418bd04342f194a/tumblr_nd3ukjYi981rdredko1_500.gif

Something's Coming, Mrs Torrance!

She elaborated on her dream vision later in the day.

"Dream vision." or, as it's more commonly known, A FUCKING DREAM.

 She elaborated on her dream vision later in the day. I managed to catch this video.

At 18 seconds after I take out her paci and I say "what?" she says, "The King." It also sound's like she says "Abba up, push you up" and "join Abba up" several times. You can't make this stuff up! 

Fortunately, you don't have to. Because toddlers babble incoherently, often repeating random words or sounds that are kinda word-like and if you losten long enough, you can convince yourself that they're reciting poetry or placing wagers on horse races, or giving some weird, vague "prophecy" like "Abba up, push you up, join Abba up" (copyright 1974 Bjorn Ulvaeus)

ABBA Images

It makes more sense in the original Swedish


I didn't teach her this. Excuse the poor angle, I was attempting to sneakily turn on and hide the camera. At the end, she bows 3 times...the number God uses for confirmation. 

Or, she bangs her head against the cushion, but I'm pretty sure that has biblical significance as well.

 The next day, she brought it up again (while I was getting her breakfast.) She said to me, "Mama, open up, because GOD is coming" and then proceeded to knock on the wall 3 times. 

Ohhhh, the coherent version came the next day when the camera wasn't rolling. When the camera was on, it was all gaga googoo jibberish, but that one time you forgot to film her, she spoke clearly in complete sentences and perfect English grammar.

 http://cliffbarackman.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Finding-Bigfoot-Reality-TV-Show.jpg 

Yep. Ain't that always the way?

No, I couldn't teach her this, she JUST turned 2 and is just starting to really come up with diverse words and sentences clearly.

Yeah, no one thinks you taught her any of this. You don't have to teach her the part on the video, and the part in the kitchen didn't happen, so no one's accusing you of staging this. Also, in the video there are no sentences. Even if we use your interpretation of the jibberish, "Abba up, push you up" is not any kind of a sentence that would come from a child capable of forming the sentnece "Mama, open up because GOD is coming." That's perfect syntax. If her language skills were that advanced, she wouldn't be yammering on about "push you up" or whatever.

  Her best understanding of God prior to this was nightly bedtime prayers, and we had yet to discuss the rapture or His second coming with her (being that she is of course so young). 

Yes, so young that she wouldn't really be capable of forming any understanding of such a complex concept as "God," let alone know that He is sometimes referred to as "Abba" or that his return to Earth has been predicted for the last 2 millennia. But, yes, I'm sure that the Almighty would choose as his messenger someone who can not be understood by anyone who hears her. That just makes perfect sense.

http://cache1.asset-cache.net/xc/528826009.jpg?v=2&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=lZtJ5TjRQsfwbq_EdXrb0HL8Xg0pfQV-wzFRQ4ZWEDzBL2mDd6vslMRDR8lIDrA00 
Menh, I work in mysterious ways!

And she closes, as one might expect, with a bit of relevant Scripture:

And it shall come to pass afterward, that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions.
Joel 2:28
Your toddlers will form random words.

Anyway, here's the video. It's worth watching. It's short and the kid is cute. But don't expect a lot of spiritual enlightenment from it. For that, you need cats playing keyboards.



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7 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

nope, not gonna watch. stupid is as stupid does. no, your kid is NOT a fucking genius; get over it, babe.

Abu Scooter said...

Oh, come on, lady; stop lying. You're just covering up the fact that what you really saw was Stannis Baratheon's face on four pieces of toast in a row.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The only eternal truth I want to know is . . . . is that a new Keyboard Cat imitator? I see the video was only posted about a year ago. And of course KC's been dead for yonks. Love his new threads and stylin' sound!

Bob Slatten said...

"Something's Coming."

My favorite song from 'West Side Story.'

She can take a seat now/

jadedj said...

Mamma Mia! Screw the Bejebus thing...it's Abba...ABBA's coming back! Thank you, thank you, Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again
My my, just how much I've missed you?

Brewella Deville said...

Totally unrelated, but the picture of Danny reminded me that there is a mashup of The Shining and The Grand Budapest Hotel that is worth a google.

Professor Chaos said...

No Freakin Way! I am googling that right now!