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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Ridiculous headline of the day



Via Yahoo News:

Ted Cruz has always had a master plan. Now it could win him the White House.

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Pffft!!! The White House?!?!?! Ahahahahaha!!!

Every politician plans, plots, or schemes; that's part of the job. But not every politician is a prodigy at it. Ted Cruz is.


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 Ahahahahah! A "prodigy?" Ahahahaha!!
A prodigy?
Mozart was a prodigy.
Ted Cruz is fourty-five years old! It's too late to be a prodigy!
Also, a "prodigy" would not be best known for reading a children's book on the Senate floor and misunderstanding it!

Maximillian Lu adjusts his cap as he toys with a chess set during an interview, Nov. 16, 2015, in Armonk, N.Y. The 10-year-old recently became the youngest chess master ever in the United States.
Maximillian Lu adjusts his cap as he toys with a chess set during an interview, Nov. 16, 2015, in Armonk, N.Y. The 10-year-old recently became the youngest chess master ever in the United States.

See, this kid is a prodigy. Being really good at an adult thing at the age of ten makes you a prodigy. Being sort of okay at an adult thing when you are a middle-aged man does not.


 But suddenly it seems that Cruz is running what even Dan Pfeiffer, a former top aide to President Obama, concedes is “the best campaign on the other side.” 
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Dan Pfeiffer. The only man in America who considers running in fourth place behind three lunatics to be running "the best campaign."

He has raised more money than any Republican other than Jeb Bush and more non-PAC money than any other Republican, period; he also has more cash on hand than any of his GOP rivals. He was the first candidate to recruit chairmen in all 171 counties in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Nevada. 

Yes. And he is in fourth place. And he's, what, about fifteen points behind a complete political neophyte with a bad comb-over a string of bankruptcies?

And from the start he has conspicuously refrained from criticizing frontrunner Donald Trump, choosing instead to position himself as Trump’s heir apparent, should the bombastic real estate mogul falter or fade, which Cruz has publicly predicted will happen.

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Except it hasn't yet. I mean, God knows Trump has given the voters every reason to throw him overboard, with one ridiculous statement after another, but every time you thing "well, that's gonna have to cost him," he gets stronger. And Cruz just sits there waiting, waiting, waiting for the implosion that surely must be just over the next horizon, hoping that when the Trump pinata bursts, the votes will be scooped up by him and not Rubio, or Bush or Carson or Kasich or any of the other blindfolded children waiting for candy to fall on them from above. That's a hell of a strategy. What a prodigy!




3 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

we need to deport cruz back to canada!

jadedj said...

His campaign "plan" aside, I was going to comment that I can't even stand to look at the sonofabitch...but then I realized that I can't stand to look at any of them. And then there's thatfake, nasal "how y'all doin'" voice...GOD ALL FUCKING MIGHTY!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ted Cruz believes he's a prodigy because his batshit crazy father raised him to think that, right from day one.