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Thursday, March 31, 2016

Insane Law of the Day

Senate OKs church, concealed carry, nullification bill

Senate OK's the what, now?

The Senate on Tuesday passed the "Mississippi Church Protection Act" to allow armed security in churches. . .

. . . Concealed carry without a permit. . .

. . . and to provide for attempts to nullify federal regulations and executive orders that would limit gun rights.

You know, it started out seeming sorta semi-sane. If churches want to have security guards, that doesn't seem so weird. I mean what with all the crimes that take place in Mississippi churches these days. Like, for instance. . . um. . . I'm sure there are many examples. But, this being Mississippi, it got baboon-ass crazy pretty damn quick there.

But I'm sure that before passing this bill, there was probably a lot of reasoned debate.

There was much debate. Sen. Hillman Frazier, D-Jackson, waved a sheathed sword and quoted Bible Scripture as he argued against passage of the bill. Proponents also quoted Scripture, and even the Five Man Electrical Band — "signs, signs, everywhere signs" — as they fended off an amendment to require churches with armed security to post signs.

Quoting Scripture.

Quoting Scripture and waving around swords. Seriously. Mississippi state senators make laws for their state using the same methods as a rabbinical Talmudic debate. Plus with swords!

Anyway, what all does this law do?

The bill would allow churches to create security programs and designate and train members to carry concealed weapons. It would provide criminal and legal protections to those serving as church security.

Okay. So if a church wants to have a member be an armed security guard, instead of having that person go through a whole training/licensing procedure, Reverend Snakehandler can just authorize him?

Say, Bob, you're our most responsible member. How'd you like to start packing heat during Sunday Vespers?

And why shouldn't a member of the clergy be allowed to start issuing gun permits? Why shouldn't a man of the cloth stand in place of a government official?  I don't see how any harm could possibly come from merging religious and governmental functions. 

You get a gun! And you get a gun! Look under your pews, everybody! Everyone gets a gun!

Oh, and if Cletus thinks that the guy passing the offering plate might be holding it in a threatening way and opens fire, he's got "criminal and legal protections" just like a real police! Because, after all, he's been deputized by Rev. Hornswaggle and that's just as good as being a for-real cop.

The bill also would allow concealed carry in a holster without a permit in Mississippi, expanding a measure passed last year that allowed concealed carry without a permit in a purse, satchel or briefcase, and another recent law that allows open carry in public.

Of course. Because these assholes won't be satisfied until every part of this country looks like the fucking OK Corral.


anne marie in philly said...

jesus fucking christ on a cross, what the everlovin' fuck are they smoking/drinking/snorting down there? is EVERYONE in that state a fucking lunatic? are there any sane voices? WHEN does this shit end?

One Fly said...

This country has changed very dramatically since 2000 and more so since '08.

The way it is and it sucks!!!

Abu Scooter said...

We'll see how popular this law really is when African American congregations decide to "... designate and train members to carry concealed weapons." I'm sure the reaction from some all-white churches will be enlightened -- by burning crosses.

Bob Slatten said...

It makes sense because when the shooting starts in a Mississippi church you'll be sharing everyone calling for God.