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Friday, May 26, 2017

Bad Ads -- Tecate




None of this makes sense.




Okay, the first couple seconds, where he's punching a beehive I kinda get, but the rest?
First of all, why does Stallone feel like he has to use what I assume is his entire Spanish vocabulary to tell the other guy that his black eye is not good? I've had a black eye, I assume most of you have had one at one time or another (judging by your disrespectful attitudes!) everyone knows that a black eye is not "bueno."
Then he tells him to "be bold" by putting the steak on his eye. How is that bold? Hasn't this been a folk remedy for a black eye since forever? Also, does it even work?  * Okay, it doesn't matter if it works, there's just nothing "bold" about putting a steak on a black eye. It's just a thing people do.

Then the other guy, who seems to speak English by the way, so I don't know why Stallone feels he has to pantomime things for him, tosses the streak on the grill and replies "be bolder!" How does that make any sense? How is using a steak for its intended purpose "bold?" Like, I could put the steak on my eye, but I'm going to do something, well. . . a little bit risky. You might think I'm crazy, but I'm going to take this slab of meat and cook it! And then presumably eat it. I know, I know, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Fortune favors the bold!

And this is somehow supposed to make me want to buy their beer? I don't get it.


* according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology: Despite what you see in movies or on television, you should never put a raw steak or other raw meat on a black eye. The bacteria on raw meat poses a high risk of infection, and this method of treating a black eye has no scientific basis.


5 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Of all the weird shit Stallone's done over the years, that's right up there!

I got a black eye when I was 10 years old. My friend Alfie hauled off and hit me in the face with his metal lunch box on the way to school. C'est la vie though. I used to throw rocks at him so I guess we were even.

jadedj said...

Forget about Stallone's baloney. Having been cold-cocked due to my disrespectful attitude, on many occasions, I have found that a much more effective food product for a black eye is...raw broccoli. If no broccoli is available...a bunch of asparagus...works almost as well...just a tad more slippery that's all.

anne marie in philly said...

stallone may be a homeboy, but he is a dump supporter. he is dead to us.

Bob Slatten said...

That was just dumb.

Lowell said...

Stallone is an idiot. He's always been an idiot. He will remain an idiot. The best thing to do with the idiot is to ignore him.