We live in very stupid times

This might be the stupidest headline, the stupidest premise for an op-ed I have ever seen.

• OPINION 
•  COMMENTARY

Would Shakespeare Impeach Trump?

 

And this is in the pages of the Wall Street Journal which. . . well, the op-ed page was never really respectable, but geez, there was at least a sense of professionalism!


Oh, and check the sub-headline:

• OPINION 
•  COMMENTARY

Would Shakespeare Impeach Trump?

The president is no more corrupt than King Lear.

Oh my God! So, because there's a fictional character equally as corrupt as Il Douche, that means that an Elizabethan playwright would. . . not? vote to impeach? I don't know, what would Christopher Marlowe do?

The Democrats pushing impeachment simply don’t understand Donald Trump. Their latest theory—that Mr. Trump leaned on Ukraine’s newly elected President Volodymyr Zelensky to tarnish Joe Biden and ease the path to re-election in 2020—has one glaring flaw: it isn’t in keeping with Mr. Trump’s character.

Okay, first of all - they don't understand Trump? What's to understand? He's a malignant narcissist. Have Congressional Democrats not grasped this? Actually, knowing Congressional Democrats, that's possible.

But really, you think that asking a foreign government to investigate a political opponent is "not in keeping with his character?"




That's like saying "putting his name on the side of a building in giant tacky fake-gold letters would be totally out of character for Trump." or "Cheating on his gold-digging trophy wife with a porn actress is just not in keeping with Mr Trump's character!"

Anyone who observed this man during his 2015-16 run for the White House learned one thing: He doesn’t think he needs anyone’s help defeating his political opponents. 

Riiiiiiiiight. . . . 

 He doesn’t think he needs anyone’s help defeating his political opponents. He sees himself as Gulliver and his challengers as Lilliputians. 

Um. . .

 Trying to extort a mafia-like “favor” to defeat Mr. Biden would be an admission of weakness, likely the most odious of character traits to Mr. Trump. 

Oh my God. Do you read your own sentences before publishing them? How can an action be both "mafia-like" and an "admission of weakness?" How could one "extort" anything from a position of weakness? The ability to extort implies strength, leverage, the upper hand.  I guarantee that Cheeto Mussolini does not see acting "mafia-like" as any kind of "weakness." He would love to be described as "mafia-like."  He wants to be a mafioso so bad he can taste it. There are two kinds of guys that tRump repects/admires/wants to emulate. Mafia guys and dictators-strongmen. That's why he cozies up to the Kim Jong Uns and Erdogans and Putins of this world. And why he used to pal around with Roy Cohm, Felix Sater and Joey "No Socks" Cinque. Leaning on someone to extort a "favor" is exactly the kind os=f thing he would do. It wouldn't make him feel weak. It would feel like strength and power to him.

Even more ludicrous is the notion that he would reveal such need for assistance on a high-profile phone call being overheard by a dozen officials in both countries. 

Oh, of course. Because he's usually so scrupulous about not saying anything incriminating where he could be overheard!

 In Mr. Trump’s world, real warriors don’t connive, they conquer.

Really? The guy who's always talking about how great he is at negotiating and putting together "deals?" That guy would look down his nose at "conniving?"
Also, "warriors?" He's a failed real estate developer and tv game show host. He's not Audie Murphy.

The obvious explanation for Trump’s request of a “favor” springs from what seems to be the prime motivation behind all of Mr. Trump’s behavior—a profound sense of pride in his accomplishments and deep indignation when anyone calls them into question. 

Now who doesn't understand Trump?
Donald Trump gets infuriated when people don't praise him for his "accomplishments" not because he's proud of them, but because deep inside he knows that nothing he does will ever be good enough. Like most narcissists, he lives in fear of being unmasked and exposed as the fraud that, deep down, he knows he is. He knows his "accomplishments" are bullshit. He knows how many businesses he's run into the ground. He knows how many times he's declared bankruptcy.

He knows that everything he owns is leveraged to the hilt. He knows that models only marry and/or sleep with him because he's rich and famous. He knows how many times his father has had to bail him out. And this eats away at him so badly that he has to cover it up with layers of false bravado and braggadocio.

 He isn't indignant when someone calls his accomplishments into question because he thinks his true greatness is not being recognized. He is angry because when someone questions his record of phony achievements, he knows deep inside that they're right.

This is a man whose father was never proud of him. (Or never let his son know that he was proud.) That's why he feels compelled to put the Trump name on everything in big ugly fake-gold letters. It's his way of saying "are you proud of me now, dad? Am I good enough now? Look, dad. Look what I accomplished. Do you love me now, dad?" This is the pattern of his entire life, not just during his foray into politics.

Also, can we just go back one second to that last statement you made?

The obvious explanation for Trump’s request of a “favor” springs from what seems to be the prime motivation behind all of Mr. Trump’s behavior—a profound sense of pride in his accomplishments and deep indignation when anyone calls them into question. 

You just said that it was "ludicrous" to believe that Trump would have made this request for a "favor." Then, in the next sentence, you're giving an explanation for why he requested said favor. You really need to pick an argument and stick with it.

If Democrats really wanted to understand the president, they would read Shakespeare’s “King Lear.”

Geez. . . what kind of a whackadoo would look at this administration and see Shakespeare? This shit circus veers from Lewis Carroll to William S. Burroughs to John Kennedy O'Toole on a daily basis, and you're seeing the bard?

All the aging monarch wants is to be loved and appreciated by his three daughters. 

Yeah. . . that ain't exactly what Trump wants from his daughters.

Mr. Trump is Lear, and the country is the king’s daughters. What wounded the king more than anything was filial ingratitude. What seems to gall Mr. Trump most is the thought that his achievements—record low unemployment, substantial tax cuts, a booming stock market, deregulation, judges—go unacknowledged by his Goneril-Regan enemies, who instead seek to obstruct him at every turn. 

Okay, see. thoise aren't really accomplishments. Record unemployment? A booming stock market? He inherited an economy on the upswing and has modtly managed not to fuck it up. Although. . .

As U.S. stock market falls, the outlook is now bearish

Published: Oct 3, 2019 10:38 a.m. ET

Oct 2, 2019, 11:14am

October Has Started Dreadfully For The Stock Market And There Is More Downside Ahead

And substantial tax cuts? The House and Senate were both controlled by Republicans. Suggesting massive tax cuts to them is like suggesting Filet Mignon to a rottweiler. It takes zero effort to say "hey guys, pass a huge tax cut that mostly benefits the top 1% and I'll sign it." The only tricky part is remembering to sign the damn thing before leaving the room.

And judges? How is that an accomplishment? The Federalist Society gives you a list of names, you point to the least ethnic-sounding one and go "him!" Then the Senate confirms the pick because that was who they wanted in the first place, no matter how big a drunk or how egregious a sex offender he is, and bing bang boom, you got a judge! Any chimp could do it! Hell, George W. Bush did!

After a series of seemingly never-ending assaults on his dignity, Lear painfully observes out on the rainy heath: “I am a man / More sinn’d against than sinning.” It isn’t difficult to envision Mr. Trump saying the same.

It is, actually. It is difficult to envision Trump stringing a coherent sentence together, let alone indulging in Shakespearean English.

Even adamant supporters of the president aren’t blind to his annoying character flaws—the endless self-aggrandizement, the bravado, the hyperbole, the unpresidential disregard for language. 

Um, it's not so much a "disregard for language" as it is an inability to remember what words are or to know what they mean. His brain is turning into Swiss cheese.

Also, "hyperbole" is a weird way to spell "bald-faced lying."

Mr. Trump’s brashness invites his mistreatment to some extent.

When has he ever been mistreated? The press has two approaches to him, Either fawning sycophancy, or excusing his misconduct with what-aboutism and both-sides arguments. Even CNN, whom he regularly vilifies, has fluffed him nearly as much as FOX has. On the rare occassion when a Shepherd Smith or a Chris Wallace criticizes him, that is not mistreatment. That is how Presidents are supposed to be treated. They are supposed to have everything they say and do analyzed and evaluated. It's the most important job in the world, it should come with a certain level of scrutiny!

And like the king, Mr. Trump has been subjected to a daily barrage of indignities, distortions and outright falsehoods, which render him a folk hero to his followers.

Oh, wow. You're serious?
Indignities? What indignities? I honestly can't even come up with a guess as to what you are referring to here. I mean, would it be like the indignity of having a fatuous buffoon constantly claiming that you were a foreigner not eligible for the presidency? Would that be the sort of thing you're taking about? Or something like having a syphilitic orangutan leading crowds in calls for you to be "locked up?" Is that the sort of "indignities" to which President McCheese has been subjected?

Also, what renders him a folk hero to his followers is the racism.

In the Trump-Lear story, Mr. Trump’s champions resemble the faithful Kent, who called the monarch “every inch a king.” In Mr. Trump they see every inch a president. Impeachment may turn some against Mr. Trump, but it will only rally those who actually understand him.

So. . . the dullards dolts and dunces who "actually understand" him will only be "rallied?"
I assume by "those who actually understand him," you mean the MAGA hat-wearing rage-aholics that support this human cesspool? Like, is this supposed to be a warning that impeachment will somehow backfire by energizing these little hate-beasts? They're going to vote for him anyway. They can't wait to vote for him. They have been waiting their entire lives for the chance to cast their votes for a candidate this monumentally stupid, corrupt and blatantly bigoted. Those assholes are showing up on election day even if Trump gives his next speech wearing a prom dress while performing an abortion on Ivanka. Who cares if impeachment "rallies them?

Also, you never did answer the burning question. Would Shakespeare impeach Trump or not? I can't believe you're just going to leave us hanging.
I guess that's the sort of thing that everyone has to figure out for themselves, right? I mean, I guess when I think about it, I would say that since Shakespeare was a British subject and not a member of the US House of Representatives, that he would probably. . . not? impeach Trump? But who knows? And also, who cares? This is all just so stupid.