Boy, capitalism is just fantastic, isn't it?
What other system could bring people the "gig economy?" Where your car can be a taxi, your house can be a hotel and your employment can be for individual tasks with no security, no benefits, and no future!
So, today I saw a sign advertising something called "Stache.com" with the tag line "let your garage pay for your car."
And I thought, no. It can't be. There's no way that late-stage capitalism in America can get even better! But, sure enough. . .
Earn $1,000s per year by letting people store their stuff in your extra space (instead of a traditional storage unit).
So now that no one can find a decent job anymore, you want me to scrape up a few bucks by letting strangers store their stuff in my garage?
What could possibly go wrong? There's certainly no chance that, say, a rogue chemistry teacher might decide to store some "precursors" next to my toolbench, right?
There's no way that anyone might decide to store the weapons that they're saving for the coming race war next to the half-empty paint cans, is there?
So how much money are we talking about here?
You want me to let complete strangers store their shit in my BEDROOM? My boudoir? The room where my bed and TV is?
I'm just not supposed to have any dignity at all?
Earn money by hardly doing anything.
Hardly doing anything?
Do you have any idea how long it would take to clean out my bedroom?
My wife went out of town for two days!
Is there no tiny segment of our lives that we're not supposed to monetize now? Can we just have anything nice to ourselves without it having to be a revenue stream? Is this the future we're bequeathing to the next generation? This is not a sustainable system. This must be what it was like to live in the last days of the Roman Empire. Except with fewer orgies. We can't get anything right.