Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Fun with Headlines


All headlines via Yahoo News.


U.S.

Kentucky miners block coal train over missed paychecks


Image result for trump + coal jobs
Look, I said the big beautiful clean coal jobs were coming back. I didn't say the paychecks were!



World

World War III Won't Start Over Iran, But It Could Start Thanks To North Korea

yeah. . . I'm sure this guy


Image result for kim jong un

is going to bring about the third world war. Let me know when he's done invading Poland.




World

The Reason Why China Refuses to Use Nuclear Weapons First in a War

Um, because they're not insane monsters? Is this really a mystery to someone?




World

The Trump administration is warning allies to stay away from Huawei — but not everyone's listening


Wow, hard to imagine why our allies aren't heeding the advice of Dumbfuck McAderall!



Politics

Trump reportedly authorized the Soleimani strike 7 months ago, throwing a wrench through his argument that there was an 'imminent threat'




Breaking News: Trump lies all the time about everything!




Politics

Pelosi warns McConnell, Senate Republicans they will 'pay a price' if they engage in 'cover-up'

Yeahhhh, no they won't. There is never a price to pay if you're a Republican. They've all been ignoring subpoenas and deciding they don't feel like testifying and there have been zero consequences for any of them.




U.S.

Arkansas governor defends decision to accept new refugees




Jesus Christ! Did you ever think we'd get to a point where public officials would have to explain why they are behaving like decent human beings?




Politics

House Democrats launch probe into Trump's "Remain in Mexico" policy




Oooohhhh, a probe! That'll show him! I mean, this despicable policy has only been in effect for how many months now? You Dems sure you want to take such drastic action already?


World

How the Army Is Training European Militias to Stop a Russian Invasion

Washington is hoping that armed and trained civilians could spot and help stop a Russian invasion before it seized territory.


Oh my God, they think Red Dawn was a documentary!


U.S.

U.S. Navy: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Budget (and More Boats)

Whaaaaaaat??? A branch of the military thinks it needs a bigger budget? What's next, NFL receivers who think they aren't getting thrown to often enough?



World

Andrew isn't the only prince with ties to a sex offender: Prince Charles once supported a bishop convicted of molesting more than a dozen young men


Yeah, pretty sure every member of every royal family has ties to at least one sex offender.



U.S.

I flew Spirit Airlines and had a nightmarish 34-hour delay with terrible customer service, and I'll never use the airline again



Yeah, that's not news. Someone having a positive experience with Spirit Airlines would be news.


Politics

They Donated to Trump’s Inauguration. Now These Big Donors Are Funding His 2020 Competition



Gee, it's almost as if rich assholes like to bribe politicians from both parties. Weird, that.





6 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

kim dong ugly needs to find a new barber; that bowl haircut is stupid!

Infidel753 said...

North Korea is dangerous. What kind of country entrusts control of nuclear weapons to a fat narcissistic megalomaniac with a bad hairstyle?

The Blog Fodder said...

I am curious. Someone always says that "Somebody needs to do something about the criminals running America but no one does anything". What exactly are those somebodies empowered to do if they are ignored?

Tal Hartsfeld said...

As far as military budgets go:
My late father's last job was as a civilian accountant at a nearby Air Force base
...what I heard the most from him about it was mainly diatribes about "$700 screwdrivers", "$1200 staplers", "$13,000 lug nuts for military vehicles" and the like.
Just so one can make a good guess as to why their multi-billion dollar budget is so "necessary".

And to think that, lately, they've been cutting into the Social Security and Medicare tills to help dig up the funds necessary to keep this budget going ....

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Short snappers -- great post!

Benjamin Netanyahu said...

I saw a great headline on the New York Post recently, it read:

"DONALD TRUMP TRAVELS BACK IN TIME 35 YEARS TO 1985 SPECIFICALLY TO SPEND SIX MONTHS HAVING HIS KNOB SQUASHED AND SQUEEZED BETWEEN THE TRULY INCREDIBLE 17 YEAR-OLD PAULINE HICKEYS UNBELIEVABLY PERFECT TITS"