Hilary Rodham Clinton
Dr. Ben Carson
JEB! Bush
Bobby Jindal
Rand Paul
Chris Christie
Mike Huckabee
Lindsey Graham
Marco Rubio
Ted Cruz
Carly "Fire 'em All" Fiorina
Donald Trump
Showing posts with label Things that Only I think are Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things that Only I think are Funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Presidential Candidates as Simpsons Characters
Hilary Rodham Clinton
Dr. Ben Carson
JEB! Bush
Bobby Jindal
Rand Paul
Chris Christie
Mike Huckabee
Lindsey Graham
Marco Rubio
Ted Cruz
Carly "Fire 'em All" Fiorina
Donald Trump
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Que Sera Sera
A little chiiiild. . .
I asked my mother
What will I beeeee. . . .
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to meeee. . .
Friday, September 28, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Free Rap Boasts
Featuring special guest Flava Flaaaaaaaaaaav!!!!!
For years, rappers have been searching for comparisons to illustrate how mad are their skills. The boasts usually go something like this:
I've got more action than my man John Woo
And I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew
--Beastie Boys, Sure Shot
I'm sure they must be running out by now, so I've come up with a few to help out. Aspiring rappers, feel free to incorporate these into your songs:
I got more beats than my man Slim Shady
And I rock the Mike like I was Carol Brady!
Aww, yeah! She always rocked Mike's world!
Okay, how about this:
My rhymes are so fierce you gotta run for shelter
And I give more speeches that Cato the Elder!
Yeah, Boyeeee! 2nd Century BC!
I'm known as a man of indeterminate gender
And I sit in more freezers than Murray Lender!
Uh huh, uh huh, bagels yo!
Okay, here's another good one:
I'm strong on defense just like Robert Gates
And I bust more rhymes than William Yeats!
Yeh, yeh yeh, pronounced "Yates" not "Yeets, " suckas!
Or try this on for size:
I got mother issues like Norman Bates
And I run the firm like I was Larry Tate!
Yeeeeeh, Larry Tate! The original Mad Man!
Okay, one more:
Like Jimmy Boeheim, I'm workin' the refs
And I get more young tail than Warren Jeffs.
And I get more young tail than Warren Jeffs.
Nah, man. Not cool.
Just no.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
My favorite Part of the Latest Rick Santorum Faux Pas
Is the location where he made his assholish remarks:
Cumming, GA. Which is a real place.
Take a look at their website: http://www.cityofcumming.net/
Come on, admit it.Aren't you just a little bit curious about the Cumming Play House?
“It’s sort of the optimistic spirit of America but sometimes, sometimes it’s not okay. It’s going to be harder for this generation to figure this out. There’s no cataclysmic event. It’s going to be hard. You understand it — you’re here. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t get it.”
-- Former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum campaigning at the First Redeemer Church in Cumming, Ga.
Cumming, GA. Which is a real place.
Take a look at their website: http://www.cityofcumming.net/
Find out what’s playing at the Cumming Play house.Welcome to the city of Cumming’s web site. We hope you will find lots of useful information here.
Come on, admit it.Aren't you just a little bit curious about the Cumming Play House?
Cumming Fairgrounds
Home of the Cumming Country
Fair and Festival
Home of the Cumming Country
Fair and Festival
Oh, God! I'm 8 years old!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Possible names for if I ever become a masked Mexican Wrestler
El Niño Guapo
Calzoncillo
El Lindo Gatito
El Vendedor
El Feto
Calzoncillo
Monday, December 12, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
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