Other Shows and Movies Which the Florida Family Association Finds Offensive

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Seinfeld

Shows New Yorkers NOT constantly mugging and raping each other. Clearly designed to influence real Americans into believing that New York is some sort of decent place to live.

  

The Dukes of Hazzard

Portrayed two southern "good ol' boys" who were NOT members of the Klan and neither of whom ever had relations with their super-hot cousin. Show seems to be designed to manipulate people into forgetting that the KKK is a real thing that all southerners participate in. And so is cousin-fucking.

 

(What a real Southern Duke Boy looks like)

 

The Cosby Show

Shows black people NOT selling or using crack. Male characters were neither crips nor bloods. Obviously trying to fool white people into not being scared of every black person, when clearly black people are super-scary.

 

Will & Grace

Showed two gay men who never once recruited a young man into their lifestyle nor ever molested any children. An obvious attempt to manipulate decent people into thinking that they can live in the same neighborhood as a gay man without being constantly butt-raped and/or turned gay.

 

Broadway Danny Rose

This movie portrays several Jewish people NOT controlling the world's banks or discussing the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Most of the Jewish characters are involved in show business but do NOT control the entire industry. Obvious attempt to foll Gentiles into forgetting that Jews control the media and everything else in the world.

Beware of Turkeys!!!

 

1. Sacrificed to Allah? Do Muslims even do animal sacrifice?  And if they do, would they really say "this turkey I sacrifice to you, oh great Allah. J/K, LOL! we're going to sell it to an infidel for Thanksgiving!

Gotcha, Allah!

2. How do you think that turkeys are normally killed? You don't think their tracheas and aortas are severed? You think they have some sort of humane lethal injection process or something?

3. Do you really think that Butterball employees are taking the time to recite an Islamic prayer every time they slaughter a turkey? You think Butterball turkeys aren't raised on factory farms and slaughtered on an assembly line? Do you have any idea what modern turkey farming looks like?

  

(hint: Not like this so much)

4. What if they really were? What if the Butterball people really were following halal butchering practices? How would that affect the eaters of the turkey? Wouldn't the cooking process kill any Muslim cooties that were in the bird?

 

I once ate a bagel, and look at me now!

--Chin Ho Pak

Gohmert Stakes His Claim to the Title "Craziest Member of Congress."

I don't know what's crazier, the idea that Obama has some secret officer corps or whatever that he can call up at a moment's notice, or the thought that the President of the United States would intentionally deplete the military in order to acheive some sort of vague but nefarious goal. Either way, ball's in your court, Bachmann!

Seriously, though, there is something horribly wrong with this country if people like Gohmert and Bachmann can keep getting elected. People who seemingly go out of their way to show themselves as mentally unstable should not be put into any position of responsibility. I wouldn't hire one of these nutbags to manage a Starbucks, let alone be an important part of the Federal Government. How can this happen? Aren't their constituents embarrassed every time they see their representative on TV? How do you have a discussion about any subject with someone from another district without that person throwing "yeah, well at least we aren't represented in Congress by Louie Gohmert" in your face? How do you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you voted to put a lunatic like Bachmann in a position of importance in the government of the good old U S of A?

Someday, when historians are analyzing the collapse of the U.S. they will look at clips like this one and ask "what the hell made people think that they should choose paranoid crackpots to be their leaders?" and surmise that we all must have fallen under the spell of some doomsday death cult or something that made us wish for our own destruction.

Paranoia Strikes Deep

I saw this story on Ravings of a Semi-Sane Madwoman.

Tennessee bill would jail Shariah followers

 A proposed Tennessee law would make following the Islamic code known as Shariah law a felony, punishable by 15 years in jail.

That's taking it to a new level! The law is not against forcing Sharia Law on someone. The law would forbid anyone from following Sharia Law themselves. Besides the fact that this is the most blatantly un-constitutional law since the Defense of Marriage Act, how exactly would you hope to enforce this? 

Hey, you! I saw you not committing adultery! You have the right to remain silent!

Say, I noticed you didn't steal anything from that store. You're not adhering to Sharia Law, are you? Oh, the 10 commandments? I guess that's okay, then. But I'm watching you!

 

State Sen. Bill Ketron, R-Murfreesboro, and state Rep. Judd Matheny, R-Tullahoma, introduced the same bill in the Senate and House last week. It calls Shariah law a danger to homeland security and gives the attorney general authority to investigate complaints and decide who's practicing it.

Yes, the threat to Homeland Security is not people who want to blow things up and kill people, it's folks following their religious beliefs. And what sort of crazy beliefs are included in Sharia? Well, there's this:

Haraam behavior is explicitly forbidden. It is both sinful and criminal. It includes all actions expressly forbidden in both the Old Testament and the Qur'an. Violating any of the Ten Commandments is considered haraam. Certain Muslim dietary and clothing restrictions also fall into this category.

So not killing would be a felony. Not stealing, a felony. Honoring your parents? you're looking at hard time!

[The proposed law] exempts peaceful practice of Islam but labels any adherence to Shariah law — which includes religious practices such as feet washing and prayers — as treasonous. It claims Shariah adherents want to replace the Constitution with their religious law.

 So you're free to practice your religion peacefully, so long as I don't catch you washing your feet! That's just straight-up treason!

I'm not sure where these idiots got the idea that you can pass a law forbidding the practice of one's religion. Maybe they don't teach the Bill of Rights in Tennessee. (Except the second Ammendment, of course) 

 

Idiotic Member of the GA Delegation of the Day.

Lest you get the impression that the entire Georgia Delegation is, shall we say, Gingresque, I should point out that my Congressman is Civil Rights Legend John Lewis (seen here in 1965 being so much cooler than your congressman will ever be.)

 

On the other hand, if you thought Phil Gingery  (the man who replaced Newt Gingrich, hence my coining of the super-clever adjective "Gingresqe") was an embarrassment, meet Paul Broun.



Paul Brown, besides being a Congressman, is also a Doctor. So he has some insight into the Healthcare Crisis:

From his website, the assault on grammar and syntax is his:

Health Care

Our current health care system, with a reliance on third party, or employer provided, insurance is a relic of the 1940’s. As time marches on we are finding that individual patients, which should be the primary concern in any health care system, are being relegated to the backseat in the decision making process, leaving it up to their physicians to try to obtain payment from insurance providers, with varying degrees of success.

So this is rather a promising start. Dr. Broun is at least willing to admit that our system sucks. That's actually a pretty big step away from the official right-wing position that the US has "the greatest healthcare system in the world."  So what's his solution?

We must also take steps to ensure a transparent and market-based billing process. If a patient knows what they are paying for and receiving for that payment, then they can not help but be an active and engaged participant throughout the entire process. 

Okay, two things.  First, this is the very next sentence, so I don't know what the "also" is in reference to. But more importantly, what the hell? I've been hospitalized. They gave me a very detailed breakdown of what all the charges were for and how much I was being charged for which service and it didn't help me one bit. If anything, it just pissed me off knowing, it didn't allow me to negotiate a lower bill. They charged some outrageous ammount, I forget, it was years ago, for a "surgical consult" which consisted of a surgeon coming into my room looking at an X-Ray for all of thirty seconds and declaring that surgery would not be necessary. Knowing how much I was paying for that didn't do me any good. 

The right choice is to focus all of our efforts on laying a ground work for the free market to establish universal access to affordable, patient-centered health care coverage. 

And there it is. Of course, that's the answer. Of course it is. What else could it possibly be? You know, Doc, the free market has had, according to your opening sentence, SEVENTY FUCKING YEARS to get this shit right, and guess what? They still haven't come close. They are never ever ever going to be interested in "universal access to affordable, patient centered healthcare." That would slightly reduce their profits, covering everyone. It's ridiculous to think that they would ever be willing to provide universal access. 
So, of course it follows that Broun would put out this press release:

Broun Introduces Bill to Repeal and Replace Obamacare
I have introduced a bill to repeal the health care law and replace it with four simple, commonsense solutions that would lower costs and increase accessibility without government interference

 Oh, I can't wait to hear these! "Commonsense Solutions," eh? Bring 'em on!

H.R. 299:

• Allows all individuals and businesses to deduct 100 percent of their health care expenses, including insurance premiums; 

Oh, that's going to be a Huuuuuuuuge help to those of us who can not get insurance at any cost. Also very reassuring to know that if I get hit with a $50,000 or $100,000 hospital bill, I will be able to deduct that from my taxes. It's more than I earned last year, but the deduction should cover the shortfall.

Strengthens and expands new avenues for affordable health care for sick Americans through state high-risk pools; 

Ah, that makes sense. Let the insurance companies cover the low-risk/high-profit customers and let the state take the loss on the high-riskers. Now that's what I call  "Free-Market solution," in that the market is free of  any risk.

Expands choice and competition by allowing consumers to shop for health insurance across state lines; 

You know, if that were actually going to be good for consumers, the insurance companies wouldn't be drooling over it, which I'm pretty sure they are. I think that the point of the "crossing state lines" thing is to prevent any state from being able to effectively regulate the industry. This isn't so much a common-sense solution, as it is a way to exacerbate the existing problems. 

And creates association health plans, which would allow businesses, individuals and any entity to form pools that will increase availability and allow their sheer size to negotiate lower costs for their employees or members.

I think that is what most companies already do. I think it's called a "group health plan." Maybe an "association health plan" is different, but I can't imagine that this is much of an improvement.
 
 But anyway, healthcare disingenuousness is one thing. You pretty much expect that from a Republican. Today, Rep. Broun is in the news with a statement that approaches Michele Bachmann territory.

Broun warns of dictatorship

Congressman stays on message - freedom at risk

Oh, here we go!

MADISON - U.S. Rep. Paul Broun is again raising the specter of Democrats turning the United States into a totalitarian state.
Broun, R-Athens, apparently has not changed his belief that President Obama may be a fascist since he made similar remarks in Augusta in November and then in an Associated Press 

How can he be a fascist when he is clearly a Marxist?

 

He told a meeting of the Morgan County Republicans on Wednesday night that Obama already has or will have the three things he needs to make himself a dictator: a national police force, gun control and control over the press.
"He has the three things that are necessary to establish an authoritarian government," Broun said.

Of course, of course, right this way, Mr. Broun. . .

 

As he did when comparing Obama to Hitler and the Soviets last year, Broun cited a speech Obama gave in Colorado during the campaign last July calling for "a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded" as the military.

 Yes, the imaginary fictional security force is terrifying

 Broun also said he thinks the national media is openly supporting Obama's policies. He also said he believes the president and Attorney General Eric Holder will enact new gun-control policies.

Sure, they had to go to the mat to get medical care for 9/11 responders, but they'll have no trouble getting gun-control through both houses.

Holder said in February that he wants to renew a Clinton-era ban on assault weapons, but Obama said in April that he is putting the issue on the back burner.

And we all remember the tyrranny of the Clinton Years. Without our ak-47's, federal stormtroopers were kicking in our doors every other day.

At a town hall meeting in Clarkesville last month, Broun called Obama, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid a "socialistic elite" and agreed with a constituent who said they might use a flu pandemic to declare martial law.
"They're trying to develop an environment where they can take over," Broun said. "We've seen that historically."

Jeezus Christ! When did we get to a point in our nation's history when someone who is clearly a delusional paranoid can be elected to public office and no one even blinks? If this nut actually believes half of this, he should be locked away where he can't hurt himself or anyone else.  A flu pandemic? Martial Law? Does this guy listen to himself? When has Obama displayed any totalitarian tendencies? Was it when he was getting steamrolled by Senate Republicans? When his judicial nominees were being filibustered? How would any sane person think that Obama might possibly be a threat to impose martial law? Wouldn't he be too busy imposing Sharia Law?



Paul Broun, everybody! Give him a hand. He's the idiotic member of the Georgia Delegation of the Day!

It Might be Wise to Stay Out of Concord, NH for a While

Johnathon Irish of Concord, NH is either a member of, or is affiliated with the Oath Keepers.

The Oath Keepers, if you've been fortunate enough to not be aware of them, are a very scary offshoot of the militia movement. What makes them scarier than your average militia group is that their raison d'etre is to organize military personnel, veterans, and law enforcement officers around a promise to resist what they seem to think is incipient totalitarianism.

Well, recently Johnathon Irish and his already-married-to-someone-else fiancee, Stephanie Taylor, had their baby taken away by social workers.

According to John, they took the baby because of his affiliation with oathkeepers, which is totally true except for the "oathkeepers" part.

According to the Concord Monitor:

. . . according to an affidavit provided to Irish by the state Division for Children, Youth and Families, state officials took the child because of Irish's long record of violence and abuse. According to the affidavit, a judge determined that Irish abused Taylor's two other children. She is still married to the father of those children. . .
The affidavit also says that the police in Rochester report a "lengthy history of domestic violence" between Taylor and Irish, and that she accused him of choking and hitting her on more than one occasion. According to the document, Irish failed to complete a domestic violence course as ordered by the state, and that a hearing was held last month to terminate Taylor's parental rights over her two older children.

So, mainly it seems it was the whole domestic violence thing that concerned the State of New Hampshire more so than the oathkeepers thing. But you know, to-ma-to / to-mah-to.

Although, the whole Oathkeepers thing had to be cause for concern as well. Here's what Johnathon Irish's father had to say on the subject:
(via Crooks & Liars)

The reason they are concerned with Oath Keepers is that Johnathon has a fanatical attitude that Oath Keepers is an organization that is planning to overthrow the present government, and bring us back into strict accordance with the Constitution. And Johnathon's feeling on that is he needs to be acquiring weapons to be ready for that overthrow.

So, yeah, being a violent paranoid nut with a lot of guns might not really make you the best choice to be raising a baby.

Irish, 24, said in an interview yesterday that he had never abused his fiancee or her other children. He said he was unemployed and collected disability because he is blind in his left eye from a childhood accident.

"Ah hate thet ther dang ol' guvmint!" he did not add. "Now 'scuze me while ah go cash mah dis'billty check!"

Oh, but the reason you might want to stay out of New Hampshire for a while? This:

Concord

Oath Keepers plans rally

The director of a self-described anti-totalitarian group is urging supporters to rally outside a New Hampshire courthouse this week in support of an Epsom couple whose newborn was taken last week by state social workers.

Oath keepers and courthouses are generally not a good mix:

'Oath Keeper' under arrest after driving to Tennessee to take over courthouse, conduct 'citizens arrests' of public officials

By David Neiwert

A Georgia man has been arrested in Tennessee--authorities say he headed to Madisonville, armed and prepared to take over the courthouse.

Darren Huff stands charged of traveling in interstate commerce with intent to incite a riot and transporting in commerce a firearm in furtherance of a civil disorder.

The FBI says Huff traveled to Tennessee armed with a pistol on his hip and an assault rifle in his truck, intent on carrying out citizen's arrests of 24 federal, state, and local officials, and on seeing that another man did not face trial for trying to do the same.

And these people are freaking serious. Here are some comments from the Oathkeepers website referring to the New Hampshire baby case:

it is an outrageous crime against humanity and we all have to stand up against any of this – peacefully but firm!

UNITEDWESTRIKE

I personally believe that Americas problems with government oppression began when black people were allowed to participate in the process. They have no respect or value for the law or the constitution and are the source of all of our problems.

It is quite apparent that this Country is under tyrannical rule. Yet, here we are day after day, letting the atrocities continue. ILLEGAL ORDERS ARE FOLLOWED EVERY SINGLE DAY AGAINST THE CITIZENRY! Yet nobody comes to their defense.. Many of you here, and you know who you are, are nothing but traitors and hypocrites. Not all of you, but a great majority.

Dear Oathkeepers,

Do not allow this to cause you to shrink from your righteous cause before humanity, there are things you can do to protect yourself.

1- Homebirth.
……there are more childbirth and mother accidents and deaths in the hospital slice and dice procedures that home birth….study it. There are some O.B.’s that work with midwives. Or you can get a licensed midwife who has credentials equal to an O.B. Husbands, and wives, you too can take courses in home birthing. Don’t give your families into the hands of the monsters.

2- Find an O.B. who supports the standing of the oathkeepers and notify all oathkeepers which family doctors can be trusted. Don’t give out information on your pregnancies/ due dates to extended friends or family.

3- If you have older children that are outraged at this rediculous persecution. You MUST give them a chance to speak to the herd out there. Give them a chance to go before the media and tell the herd that their parents are heroes. The media cannot demonize children.

4- Homeschool your kids. Homeschooling alone can make you a target but do it anyway. There are excellent online programs and you can take your children for academic testing to make sure they are ahead of the general public education system.

5- Prepare for an event like this by having some Oathkeepers get their homes preprepared to take in foster care of other oathkeeper children. Find relatives who support you as an oathkeeper and if a child is suddenly and deliberately being taken you can request to the state to have them removed immediately to your relatives home.

***You will find that the gov will do the same thing in the public schools. One day your child won’t come home from school and you will find they were picked up from your public school.

This is the mentality of the "Oathkeepers." And they are made up largely of active duty and retired military and law-enforcement personnel. In other words, guys who have guns and know how to use them. And now they have a cause and "martyr" to rally around. This is not going to end well.

This Lady is Just Freakin' Nuts -- Part Two

Here is the scene I imagine playing out in the mind of Sher Zieve:

Scene: The Oval Office.

President Obama is kneeling on his prayer rug, stroking his Hitler mustache and reading Mao's Little Red Book. Suddenly, a fiendish idea occurs to him. He jumps up and presses the intercom button.

Obama

Miss Johnson? Send in my henchmen!

Ms Johnson (off screen)
Right away, mein fuhrer!

Several Jack-booted thugs in ACORN shirts enter.

Henchman #1

You wanted to see us, Dear Leader?

Obama
Yes, I just had a great idea. I'm going to eliminate my enemies!

Henchman # 2
But Sir, it's just that that seems almost too evil, even for us!

Obama
How dare you question the great emperor? Have this man taken out and beaten with Korans!

Henchman # 3
Right away, your excellency!

Henchman # 1
So, your majesty, how will we be eliminating the target? Gunfire? Explosion? Putin-poison?

Obama
No, I mean really eliminate the enemy! Eliminate him from the Internet!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!



Henchman #1
But your highness, it's it's. . . impossible!

Obama
Nothing is impossible with the help of my friends in the left-wing media!

Henchman #3
So, your excellency, whom shall we eliminate?
Bill O'Reilly has shown a distinct lack of faith in you!

Obama
No, I need a much bigger target!

Henchman # 1
Rush Limbaugh?

Obama
Too obvious! I was thinking the target should be a loony toons blogger no one has ever heard of!

Henchman #1
Surely not. . .

Obama
YES! I say we eliminate Sher Zieve!

All henchmen gasp in unison

Obama
Bring me my villain hat!

Obama begins typing on his desktop computer

Obama

Let's see, it says here that she has over a million "entries" on Google and Yahoo! Well, I'll just click here, and enter my secret new-world-order code word, and. . .
Aha! Now she has a mere 8000 entries! Victory is mine!

Henchman # 2
But, Excellency, she hasn't been eliminated. Her internet presence has just been reduced somewhat! She has not been silenced!

Obama
How the hell did you get back in here? Guards! Take this man to the death panel!

Okay, Now This lady Is Just Freakin' Nuts!

Sher Zieve

On having one’s name deleted from the internet by Obama & co

These days, it isn't difficult to ascertain when you are on the Obama Enemies List.

Okay, one sentence in and we already have paranoia and delusions of grandeur. (as if the president of the US is aware of the existence of a Sher Zieve!)

Leftist bloggers will increase and become even more inarticulate (if that's even possible) in their attacks on you when you begin disseminating too much truth, when your columns hit too close to home for a general comfort.

(as Tintin point out at "Sadly, No," she accuses Leftist bloggers of being inarticulate in a sentence that, I think, would only make sense if translated back into the original Croatian.)

One way to deal with the is to "eliminate" the voices of those who oppose the tyrant. Sadly, such is my case.

Um, I'm not sure what is exactly being "dealt with: here. Even assuming that she meant "this instead of "the," her previous sentences dealt with being on the imaginary enemies list, so it should follow that the "way to deal with the" would be a solution to her imaginary problem, not Obama's imaginary solution to some imaginary problem he might have with her.

But anyway. . .

And such strongly seems to be the case of the techniques now utilized by the two major Internet search engines — Google and Yahoo. It appears that when they are told by The Obama to delete an opposer's name from their files, like Pharaoh Seti I is said to have deleted Moses' name from everything in the Egyptian New Kingdom, my name has now almost been completely deleted from Google and Yahoo is following close behind the leftist leader. Are plans to eradicate other truth-tellers on the way?

Jeez, can't the loonies at "Renew America" afford to hire an editor? The syntax is appalling!
But, I guess that's not the point. The point is that this woman has had her name completely deleted from Google!

This has been occurring steadily over the past 2-3 years. I have gone from over 1.5Million entries on each search site to — now — under 8,000 entries on Google and about 22K on Yahoo.

Eight Thousand "entries" on Google! That's exactly the same as having been completely deleted!

Although, when I typed her name into Google just now, I got 18,000 results which, I'm pretty sure, is not fewer than 8,000. But math was never my strong suit.

sher zieve

Advanced search

About 18,000 results (0.33 seconds)

Oddly, the biggest drop came when I wrote about the Obama vacations and then, most recently, his turning Arizona over to the corrupt UN for "human rights violations"

Hmm, that is odd that interest in you declined when you wrote about a complete non-story and a complete bullshit lie that never happened. Hmmm. . . . strange.

The reason I'm writing this has nothing to do with either self-pity or self-aggrandizement. . . I am writing it to let you know the depths to which this administration — and all Marxists — will stoop to silence their critics.

Okay, let me stop you right there. What is it with you rightie wingnuts always claiming that someone is trying to silence you? When students dug up Sarah Palin's list of diva demands, she claimed they were trying to silence her. When people complained that Dr. Laura should probably not cavalierly toss about the N-word, she complained that her enemies were trying to silence her. Where does this crap come from?

Let me tell you a story.



This is Barry Bonds.

For several years, Barry Bonds was the best hitter in baseball. Naturally, fans of opposing teams disliked him mightily for the damage he inflicted upon their pitching staffs. So, in every ballpark outside of San Francisco, Bonds was booed mercilessly. He was booed when his name was announced, he was booed when he came to the plate, he was booed constantly. And when the rumors of steroid use began to surface, fans would mock him by chanting "ster-oids, ster-oids" in between boos.
Now did Bonds claim that his opponents' fans were trying to take away his right to play baseball? Did he quit playing? No. He sucked it up, shrugged it off, and went about his business sending baseballs soaring into the bleachers. Do you know why? Because he's a grownup. And grownups can deal with criticism. Especially grownups who choose to be in the public eye, to voice controversial viewpoints, and/or hold elected office.

Do you want to know what it looks like when someone's enemies try to silence them?
Rent the movie "Shut Up And Sing."

The Dixie Chicks got death threats over singer Natalie Maine's comment about GW Bush. Credible threats. Credible enough for law enforcement to be involved. They would have had every right to complain about their enemies trying to silence them. They would have had every right to quit, to blame their critics, and go into hiding. Did they? No. They went about their business like grownups. So suck it up, Dr. Laura. Grow a pair of ovaries, Sarah Palin. You're going to be criticized, get the fuck over it. That's part of public life. Don't be babies!


But I digress. Where were we? Oh, yes. Some nutty lady on "Renew America" has paranoid delusions about Obama's ability to remove her from the Google.

I consider being counted in Obama's "opposition list of undesirables and enemies" to be a distinct badge of honor. The "deletion" also tells me strongly and firmly that my continuing attempts to get the truth about The Obama and his anti-God and anti-human policies out to the public is working — and evidently working too well for our Dictator-in-Chief.

Someone get this lady a dictionary and show her what "Dictator" means. Here's a hint, it doesn't mean someone whose agenda can be thwarted by the threat of a filibuster.

So, seriously, you think Obama and his minions are deleting you from the internet? Really? How does that work, deleting something or someone. Because I know a lot of celebrities would like to delete real and/or fake nude photos from the internet. (That's right, browsers, I said NUDE! PHOTOS! of CELEBRITIES!)

I have an idea for how this scene would play out, but it will have to wait until my next post.
. . .To Be Continued. . .

Brian Fischer is Totally Gay

Enlarge image

Bryan Fischer, formerly the executive director of the Idaho Values Alliance, is the host of the daily 'Focal Point' radio talk program on AFR Talk, a division of the American Family Association.

Brian Fischer, of "Renew America," is gay as a goose.
Gayer than Liberace guest-judging "Project Runway"
As queer as a three-dollar bill having gay sex with another three-dollar bill.

He must be. Why else would he be so obsessed with gaiety?

Seriously, look at the list of his recent columns:

Obama's new military: Gays showering with straights

Bryan Fischer

February 9, 2010

The bitter fruit of decriminalizing homosexual behavior

Bryan Fischer

February 6, 2010

If homosexuality were against the law

Bryan Fischer

February 5, 2010

Why homosexual behavior should be against the law

Bryan Fischer

February 3, 2010

Are legal sanctions for homosexual behavior biblical?

Bryan Fischer

January 31, 2010

Why CBS should reject pro-gay ads

Bryan Fischer

January 29, 2010

And so on and so on. . . .

Let's take a look at one of these recent columns:


If homosexuality were against the law

Laws proscribing homosexual conduct can be found in the Middle Assyrian Law Codes dating back to 1075 BC. . . which gives the lie to the myth that only blue-nosed prudes who believe in the Judeo-Christian tradition have ever found fault with sodomy.

Well, if it's good enough for the ancient Assyrians, it's obviously relevant to 21st Century America.

Here are some other laws the Assyrians had back then that Brian Fischer might like to bring back: (source)

Unless it is forbidden in the tablets, a man may strike his wife, pull her hair, her ear he may bruise or pierce. He commits no misdeed thereby.

If a man bring his hand against the wife of a man, treating her like a little child, and they prove it against him, and convict him, one of his fingers they shall cut off.

If a man have intercourse with the wife of a man either in an inn or on the highway, knowing that she is a man's wife, according as the man, whose wife she is, orders to be done, they shall do to the adulterer. If not knowing that she is a man's wife he rapes her, the adulterer goes free. The man shall prosecute his wife, doing to her as he likes.

Every state in the Union at the time of the Founding had laws
which made homosexual behavior illegal.

Also laws making slavery legal!

Sodomy was a felony offense in all 50 states as recently as 1962, and was still a felony in the other 49 states ten years later. Still today, 12 states have sodomy statutes on the books, although our meek acquiescence to judicially activist rulings from the Supreme Court have rendered those unenforceable.

Our "meek acquiescence?" Seriously? If the Supreme Court makes a decision you don't like, you're supposed to, what, just give them the finger and continue to enforce the unconstitutional law? George Wallace would be proud.

The fact remains, however, that in nearly 25% of the states in the Union, sodomy is still in the criminal code as illegal behavior.

And in Ohio, it is still illegal to get a fish drunk.

In Texas, the Encyclopedia Brittanica is illegal.

In Atlanta, GA it is illegal to tie a giraffe to a lamppost. (source)

This raises the question, then, as to whether sodomy laws should be, or legitimately have been, repealed just because they are rarely enforced.

The answer to this is a clear and unequivocal "No."

Right. Anti-sodomy laws have been and should be repealed because they are unconstitutional, stupid, and just plain wrong.

Think for a moment of the current social controversies that could potentially be avoided if homosexual conduct was still against the law

Gays in the military: problem solved. We shouldn't make a place for habitual felons in the armed forces. End of discussion, end of controversy.

I'm sorry, what?
So, if Truman had just made being black illegal, he could have avoided integrating the military. Controversy avoided!

What the Hell was I thinking?

Gay marriage: problem solved. We should never legalize unions between any two people when the union is forged specifically to engage in felony behavior. Would we sanction, for instance, the formation of a corporation whose stated purpose was to import illegal drugs?

Which is totally the same thing. Two same-gendered people spending their lives together is exactly like selling poison to children and destroying lives and sometimes killing people.

Gay indoctrination in the schools: problem solved. We don't want to raise a generation of schoolchildren to believe that felony behavior is perfectly appropriate. That's why we spend so much money warning students about the danger of drugs

.

Actually, the indoctrination problem is already solved, in that it never existed.

And why the drug comparison again? Is it because you find gay sex with men so addictive?
Are you in a 12-step program to kick your penis addiction?

Hate crimes laws: problem solved. We wouldn't throw a pastor in jail for saying that illegal behavior is not only illegal but also immoral. For instance, he's free to say that murder is not only contrary to man's law but also to God's law. End of the threat to freedom of religion and speech.

Oh, to be free to hate! But wait a minute. . . we already are free to hate. On Sunday mornings all across America, despicable ministers will be railing from the pulpits about the evilness of the gay people. If pastors could be thrown in jail for being hatemongers, wouldn't Fred Phelps be doing hard time?

This list could actually be extended, but you get the point. Laws not only curb dangerous and risky behavior, they keep such behavior from being normalized, sanctioned and endorsed by the rest of society, and as such render an enormous benefit to a healthy culture.

If by healthy, you mean repressed men and women living lives of misery and lies, then yeah. healthy.


So, it seems safe to say that Brian Fischer is totally gay.

Gayer!

Gayer. . . .

There. That's how gay Brian Fischer is.

For the record, I have no objection to Brian Fischer's gaiety, or anyone else's. I object to his being a self-loathing asshole.

This New Hampshire Lady is Creeping Me Out

(from Wonkette)


Dammit! All those years in school and no one ever taught me how to do anal! What the hell did my parents pay taxes for?

Brit Hume is Just Stupid

For some reason, I got this little article about Brit Hume in my inbox today:

Associated Press - 1/7/2010 5:50:00 AM

WASHINGTON - Fox News analyst Brit Hume says he doesn't regret urging Tiger Woods to become a Christian so the golfer can find forgiveness for marital infidelity.

Hume has been denounced for saying that he doesn't think the famous golfer's belief in Buddhism "offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith."

Actually, Brit has been denounced for using his platform on a supposed news program to proselytize. No one is attacking his specific religious beliefs.
But why let that stop you? When you've got a good victim rant going, why let facts stand in the way?

The longtime journalist said he wasn't surprised that the remark aroused controversy. "If you're trying to find the two most explosive words in the English language, those two words are 'Jesus Christ,'" he stated.

Seriously? And what color is the sky in your world? You honestly think that "Jesus Christ" is an "explosive" word combination?

More explosive than "Mother Fucker?"
or "Child Molester?"
or "Anal Whore?"
or "Retarded Skinhead?"
or "Anti-Semitic Cocksucker?"
or "Kitten Rapist?"
or "Pederastic Chinaman?"
or Pre-emptive war?"

Seriously, you think that the two words that are going to attract the biggest controversey are "Jesus" and "Christ?" The name of the man that the majority of Americans believe is their savior? That's explosive?

I mean I could see where in certain contexts, like "Jesus Christ and Osama Bin Laden walk into a bar. . ." that could be pretty "explosive," but in the context of promoting Jesus? How is that going to get you into trouble?

Why do people like Brit Hume always have to portray themselves as some sort of oppressed minority? Why do they always have to play the victim? Do they really believe that the world is out to get them? Are they trying to use their phony victim status as a ploy to grab the moral high ground, or are they just nuts? Or just stupid?


P.S.

A little off subject, but look what happens if you try to get a synonym for "Pederast" from Thesaurus.Reference.com

No results found for pederast:

Did you mean priest?

I swear that's what came up! I did not fake that at all. But it did make me laugh. Then feel sad. Then laugh again.

NEWSBUSTERS!

It can't be easy working for Newsbusters. Every day, you have to get up, go through the newspapers, watch the TV news, and try to find something that you can twist to fit into your "they're all against us" worldview.

Sometimes, if you can't find any evil enough news, you are reduced to reporting on another website's news listings. And those listings, boy are they ever out to get you!

And by you, I mean Mark Finklestein.

Politico's Politicized Pic Picks

By Mark Finkelstein (Bio | Archive) November 1, 2009 - 07:10 ET

In deciding which Sunday talk shows to focus on, I typically tap into Politico's Sunday talk show tip sheet, which provides a helpful round-up of the Sunday line-up.

Just minding my own business, not going out looking for something which I can use to paint myself as the victim of the horrible, awful, Mark-Finkelstein-hating media. I just happened to stumble on to this:

Scrolling there today, I came upon the photo you see here. Of all the innumerable images of the three men, these are the pictures Politico chose to announce the appearance of Joe Lieberman, Rush Limbaugh and David Plouffe on Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday and Meet the Press, respectively. You don't suppose Politico's pic picks might reflect its biases, do you?




Well, I don't. But then I'm a normal person.

Let's first rank the three men from most conservative to most liberal. Easy: Rush, Lieberman, Plouffe. Now let's rank the three photos from least flattering to most flattering. Does anyone doubt that the order would again be Rush, Lieberman, Plouffe?

Yes, clearly the fact that Lieberman is old and creepy and Rush is bloated, puffy, and, well, fat shows the bias of Politico.com.




Why didn't they use this picture of Rush?

Or this more flattering shot of Joe Lieberman?







Clearly it's all part of Politico's evil plot to make David Plouffe look good. that's why they used a picture of Plouffe in which he looks like an elf. Like the kind of elf who probably got bullied a lot by the tougher elves in elf high school.


The most pathetic thing about this little mini-diatribe against politco.com is that Finklestein doesn't even seem to know what Politico is. He just sees the picture and assumes that this is some left-wing site which has an obvious bias against conservatives.

It took me about 30 seconds to find this at Wikipedia: Frederick J. Ryan Jr., former Assistant to President Ronald Reagan^[3], and currently chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library Foundation, is president and CEO of Politico.<sup>[4]

And Media matters describes Politco this way:</sup>

Politico is really just a GOP bulletin board

It's a place where any spin the RNC burps up is immediately seized upon as news by Politico . (link)

But if you work for Newsbusters, it doesn't matter if Reagan himself is writing copy for Politico, if it's a media outlet, you are required to assume that it is out to get conservatives and you must find somethin, anything on the site to bolster that theory.

It can't be easy working for Newsbusters.

Being Glenn Beck for Halloween

I need to start practicing.

Let me just slip on the Crazy pants























Here goes:


Why in the world do so many words end in -allow?

There can't possibly be another set of 5 letters which end so many English words.

Callow is a word.
Sallow is a word.
Swallow is a word.
Tallow is too.
So is Gallow.

Hallow, Shallow, Fallow, Mallow, and Wallow are all real English words.

Ballow is rarely seen, but it's a real word, too.

That's eleven, and I'm no linguist. Oh, and that's not counting ALLOW itself, which is a word on its own.

Why were the inventors of English so obsessed with these five letters? I think it's obvious.

the first three A-L-L spell the word ALL.
The next two stand for
One & World.
All One World, as in the One World Government.
The early speakers of English were trying to warn us about the coming of the One World Government as foretold in Revelations, Nostradamus, and the U.N. Charter.

Or were they trying to plant the idea in our heads that we should Allow the One World Government.

Hmm, interesting isn't it that English itself is an amalgam of French and German. One Language for One World. And it's right in front of our faces, but we just can't see it.

Wow! I've gotta stop this. I can see how easy it is to make yourself crazy. I do not want to end up like crazy Glenn Beck.

Bill Donohue is a real person! Who knew?

I'd seen Bill Donohue on the Colbert Report and I had just assumed that he was acharacter created for the show, like the black Republican character that Tim Meadows portrays occasionally. But no! Apparently, Bill Donohue is a real person, and his organization, the "Catholic League," is an actual thing. Who knew?

And here's the proof. Could a fictional character pen a column for the Washington Post? The Washington Times, sure. But the Post? Probably not!

America's secular saboteurs

By Bill Donohue
President, Catholic League

See?

There are many ways cultural nihilists are busy trying to sabotage America these days:

Wow, right off the bat! Opening strong with a burst of paranoia right in the first sentence. I think we can see where this is going already. The "nihilists" are going to be "anyone with a point of view different than Bill Donohue's." And anyone with a different point of view is naturally OUT TO DESTROY AMERICA!!!!!

multiculturalism is used as a club to beat down Western civilization in the classroom;

Right, because acknowledging the contributions of other cultures is obviously the same thing as saying that Western Civilization Sucks!

Everyone knows that the only literature worth reading is Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and the King James Bible. If students are required to read, say Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or the Epic of Gilgamesh, well, how will they know that everything good ever written was written in English, which is the language God speaks because English is so obviously superior to every other language ever. Hmm? How are they going to learn that? Answer me that, smug little multi-culti nihilist.

Not for nothing, but wouldn't a belief in multiculturalism make one definitionally NOT a nihilist? Just sayin'. Do go on, Bill.

sexual libertines seek to upend the cultural order by attacking religion;

Unless you're referring to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence*, I have no idea what you're talking about. Who is attacking religion while being a sexual libertine. I think sexual libertinism would take up so much of one's time that one would not have much opportunity to attack religion.

activist left-wing legal groups try to scrub society free of

the public expression of religion;

Yeah, not true. The ACLU, et al have no problem with you or anyone else expressing your religious views publicly. The ACLU in particular would fight any effort to keep you from doing just that. That is what they do. What they object to is the use of public funds and publicly-owned land for religious expression. They like the idea of the separation of church and state. And so should you, by the way, because if the US of A ever did decide to pick a state-sponsored religion, you can bet that it won't be Catholicism. There are way more Protestants around. But don't worry, the ACLU will be there to prevent Protestants from persecuting Catholics should that day ever come. It's what they do.

elements in the Democratic party demonstrate an animus against Catholicism;

Really? You know John Kerry, Pat Leahy, Ted Kennedy, Bob Casey, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Dick Durbin, Tom Harkin, Nancy Pelosi, Hilda Solis, John Dingell, Charles Rangel, and Dennis Kucinich are all Catholic. And there are more, lots more. Check it out.(LINK)

and secular-minded malcontents within Catholicism and Protestantism seek to sabotage their religion from the inside.

What makes people like Bill Donohue so paranoid? Why do you think everyone's out to get you, Bill? Do you really believe that there are discontented catholics who think to themselves, "I should just quit this church, but no! I will remain in the pew and take down this whole organization from the inside! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!" Do you know how ridiculous you sound?

Ok, that's one paragraph. Just the first paragraph of Bill's diatribe. And I left a little out. And I'm already exhausted. Let me take a quick kitten break.

AWWWWWW!!!!!

Oh, well hello to you too, little fella!









AAAA!!!! (squeal like a schoolgirl) That did it! I'm re-born! I'm ready to plunge back into the demented world of Bill Donohue!

Ok, you were saying, Bill?

Yesterday's radicals wanted to tear down the economic structure of capitalism and replace it with socialism, and eventually communism.

Oh, my God! Bill Donohue accidentally wrote something that is correct. There actually have been radicals who have wanted to replace capitalism with socialism or communism. Good job, Bill! Keep it going!

Today's radicals are intellectually spent: they want to annihilate American culture, having absolutely nothing to put in its place.

Oh, well it was nice while it lasted.

Seriously Bill, that's just too ridiculous even for you. Who are these people who want to annihilate American culture and replace it with. . . .nothing? Who do you think wants that? Come on, you should be able to at least name just one of these people.

In that regard, these moral anarchists are an even bigger menace than the Marxists who came before them.

Because they're imaginary!!!!!

Sexual libertines, from the Marquis de Sade to radical gay activists, have sought to pervert society by acting out on their own perversions. What motivates them most of all is a pathological hatred of Christianity.

I think what motivated the Marquis de Sade was his raging boner. I'm pretty sure that all sexual libertines are motivated by their libidos. They probably aren't throwing orgies and key parties (look it up!) with invitations reading "Come to Bob and Jane's house Friday night for a big let's-hate-Jesus-festival."

So, Jim how was the orgy last night?

Oh, it was great! We really stuck it to those Catholics! Western civilization is bound to fall any day now!
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

They know, deep down, that what they are doing is wrong, and they shudder at the dreaded words, "Thou Shalt Not." But they continue with their death-style anyway.

Because deep down, everyone has the same mores as Bill Donohue. Most of us just don't know it yet. But the libertines, they know. They just manage to repress it long enough to finish the orgy.

Secular saboteurs have often seized the arts to make a statement. That's why the blasphemous often tracks the obscene: if the goal is to put an artistic dagger into the heart of culture, then it makes sense to use all the ammo available by attacking the sacred.

That's why there's a bazillion-dollar porn industry in the San Fernando Valley. There's such a large assortment of people who are ready and eager to get naked and screw on camera if it means the destruction of that Goddamned western civilization.

I will not have sex on camera! I'm not that kind of girl!

C'mon, baby! If you do, you'll be plunging a dagger into the heart of American culture!

Well, why didn't you say so? In that case, I'm willing to sacrifice my dignity for such a noble cause!

There was a time when Hollywood made reverential movies about Christianity. But those days are long gone.

Now, Hollywood chooses to try to make movies that will make money instead.

And when someone finally makes a film that makes Christians proud,
he is run out of town.

That has never happened. Never, not once, not ever. You made that up. Who has been run out of town? No one, that's who. You're just making shit up.

Were it not for Mel Gibson, there would have been no "Passion of the Christ." But for every Harvey Weinstein who likes to bash Catholics, there is always someone else waiting in the wings to do the same.

So you've just decided to give up on the whole trying-to-make-sense thing? Yes, Mel Gibson made "The Passion." Was he run out of town? No! Even after his anti-Semitic, drunken rant he was not run out of town. The next sentence about Harvey Weinstein just doesn't follow. It's like a bad edit. I think you're running out of steam, better wrap this up.

Catholics were once the mainstay of the Democratic Party;
now the gay activists are in charge.

Which is why gay marriage has been legalized and "don't ask, don't tell" has been repealed. Oh, wait! neither of those things has happened! But if the gay activists are running the party with majorities in both houses and the presidency, you'd think. . . . oh never mind. If Bill says it it must be true!

Indeed, practicing Catholics are no longer welcome in leadership roles in the Party:

May I introduce to you Nancy Pelosi.
And John Kerry.
And Joe Biden.
Never mind, we've been over this already.

The fact that Catholics for Choice, a notoriously anti-Catholic front group funded by the Ford Foundation, has a close relationship with the Democrats says it all.

Catholics for Choice. Is Anti - Catholic. Catholics. . . . who are anti Catholic? How paranoid can you be? Why would the Ford Foundation waste its time and money trying to undermine the Catholic Church? Do you ever listen to yourself? Do you know how crazy you sound?

This goes on for a while, but seriously, I don't have the strength. You can read the whole crazy mess here if you're interested. I'm going to just skip to the end.

The culture war is up for grabs. The good news is that religious conservatives continue to breed like rabbits, while secular saboteurs have shut down: they're too busy walking their dogs, going to bathhouses and aborting their kids.

Okay, what decad is this? There are no more bathhouses! They were all shut down in the '80s during the AIDS panic. And what do you have against dog-walking? Catholics don't walk their dogs? Because they're too busy fucking all the time? (to make more Catholic babies, certainly not for any enjoyment!)

Are you sure you're not a Colbert show character?

Really?











*

Who's Stupider? Round 2

Our First contestant comes to us from the State of Minnesota where she enjoys paranoid delusions and looking foolish on CSPAN. Please welcome Michele Bachmann!

Ms Bachmann was recently given the opportunity to question Fed chairman Ben Bernanke. What subject did she choose on which to question the man most responsible for our nation's economy?

You guessed it, ACORN!




Our next contestant hails from Macon, Ga where he is actually, honest to God, a member of the city council. In his spare time, he enjoys running the world's dumbest website. Put your hands together for Erick Erickson.

Mr. Erickson was unhappy that the underpaid, overworked police force in Macon might try to form a union to address their situation. His solution? Why, abolish the police department, of course.

No, really!

"I’m thinking I’ll have the City Attorney draft me legislation to dissolve the police department and contract with the Sheriff to provide public safety services," Erickson wrote on the blog Peach Pundit.

Boy, it looks like we have a tie. Time for the lightning round.

Erick, go!

If Barack Obama cannot convince the IOC to give Chicago the Olympics, how is he going to convince Iran to give up its nukes?

Great start! Can you top that Michele?

"Little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal and natural and perhaps they should try it."

Ooh! Well played! Erick?

I think Media Matters hopes someone goes after the President because then they will get to cheerlead a rounding up of conservative pundits they think are harmful to the advance of socialism.

Wow! Stupid, paranoid AND assholish! The trifecta! Michele, can you answer this challenge?

"Literally, if we took away the minimum wage—if conceivably it was gone—we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level."

Okay, that was stupid and assholish, but I'm not feeling any of your usual paranoia. Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! Erick Erickson is the new Who's Stupider champion!