Fair Warning

The other day, I saw someone was quoted as warning that, should the Republicans retake the House, they would do nothing but "issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another"

Now, that seems like a bit of an exaggeration, it's kind of unfair to say that they would do nothing else. Who said that? Was it you, Keith Olbermann? Was it you, Micheal Moore? Come on, 'fess up!

Oh, here it is. Here's the quote from the Minn. Post:

What Bachmann thinks should happen if the Repubs get control of the House

BACHMANN: "Oh, I think that's all we should do...I think that all we should do is issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another.

Okay, it was Michele "I don't know how to spell Michelle" Bachmann, the pride of Minnesota!

And she's dead serious.

So, you've been warned, voters. At least one influential Republican has issued fair warning that she and her party have zero interest in actually governing. Here is what does interest Bachmann:

This is the year - this is it. All of our chips are on November. If we don't get it back and then starve the beast - the House, we have the power of the purse - so we can starve ObamaCare. We don't have to fund any of these programs and that's exactly what we need to do - defund all of this nonsense and then unwind it.

So that's the agenda. Do nothing positive, defund and unwind, and hold hearing after hearing to try to take down the administration. The goal is not to use government for what they think is positive ends, just to prevent the other guys from acheiving what they think are positive results. It's childish destruction as a legislative program.




And it doesn't matter that what she wants to unravel only exists in her overheated crazy little pea-brain:

one thing that you should is that the most dramatic story that's happened in the last 18 months is that the federal government - before 18 months ago, the private economy was 100 percent held in private hands. But today 65 percent of the economy is now held in government's hands - either in direct ownership or in control. This is your future we're talking about. So we got to unravel that.

This is obviously false. She could not be more wrong about this, but it's not going to matter. If this moron crackpot has subpoena power, she will use it to haul witnesses into the House chamber to grill them about their part in her paranoid daydreams.

I know it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling that there's no real difference between the parties, and a pox on both their houses. I know I fell that way a lot. And it's hard not to be really disappointed with Barack Obama and the Democrats. We should be disappointed, what with soldiers still dying in Iraq, Gitmo still open, and universal healthcare still a pipe dream. But if sane and decent people sit out this election and leave the field to the Teabaggers, this is what will happen. She's given us fair warning.

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Kansas' Joan Heffington.

Joan would like to be the next governor of Kansas, for some reason, and here are a few of her promises from her website

GOALS AS GOVERNOR:

• Sign into law only those bills that have 2/3 approval of the people

So, there will be no laws! Interesting. Go on.

Require that a Biblical and Constitutional reason exist for the passage of any new laws

Your honor, I propose that we ammend the tax code to read simply "give unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's." I cite the case of Matthew 22:21.

Review jail population for false/frivolous charges; if found, charges will be expunged
& person released

Letting the innocent out of jail? What a radical notion!

Repeal the War Powers Act so that Congress and the people must vote on decisions to go to war

Um, technically, the president can't go to war without Congress issuing a declaration of war, but there's no way you could be expected to know that.

And here's a little of her background. Again from her website:

BACKGROUND:
✝ Founder of Association for Honest Attorneys (A.H.A!),
a non-profit organization seeking “justice for all”
www.assocforhonestattys.com

Oh. That sounds like a good thing. Justice for all. Good thing she provided a link to the website of A.H.A.
you can click here,
Visit the Association for Honest Attorneys Website

or I can save you some time. Let me just show you the members of the AHA:

A.H.A! Board Members

Joan Heffington, C.E.O.

Cortland Berry, Director

GOD

I'm not kidding. God is listed as a board member.

God is all about truth, love and justice, so He fits right in with the A.H.A! He has been our unofficial guiding force since we began in 2003, and we look to Him to guide us in all of our decisions. God is our most trustworthy board member, and we know that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He helps us speak the truth in love, and protects us for doing what is right. God is the author of “The Holy Bible,” which is the standard of living for all mankind. Like us, it is not His desire that anyone should perish, even lawyers whom he especially tries to warn (Luke 11:52).

I looked up that verse, and it really is about lawyers! I had no idea lawyers were mentioned in the Bible.

Here's the verse according to this website which doesn't seem to have a name:

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered.

Interestingly, it doesn't say "woe unto dishonest lawyers,"or "woe unto lawyers excepting those of whose board I am a member." but anyway. . .

His laws under the Ten Commandments are the foundation of the
United States of America.

Okay, we've been over this (here) That just simply isn't true. No matter how many times you people repeat it, it isn't true.

So why should you vote for Ms Heffington instead of her opponent and fellow nut Sam Brownback?

Here's why:

Many of the polls appear biased in Brownback’s favor, but after traveling to 35 cities, we have only found 3 people who will vote for him. We haven’t seen any sign of Brownback himself in Kansas since he filed to run on 6/8. Maybe he’s afraid to answer questions about Heffington’s claims that he was involved in the CIA abuse of National Security Letters using innocent Kansans as experiments for chemical and biological warfare.

Ha! Only three voters that - wait, what?

Heffington had called Brownback’s office 4/12/07 for help removing the unwarranted National Security Letter against her, and three weeks later, a woman working in her office was targeted with a steroid cocktail mix I.V. in a Wichita hospital. Also, when an innocent 22-year old boy was targeted last fall, Heffington called Tiahrt’s office to ask for a congressional inquiry. Two weeks later, the state brought a false lawsuit against her for practicing law without a license.

WHAT?

Maybe I'm not understanding this correctly, let's look at a recent column in the Topeka Journal.

Heffington, a former Boeing employee and homebuilder in the Wichita area, said covert government operatives are infiltrating hospitals in Kansas and elsewhere to conduct biological and chemical warfare experiments on unsuspecting patients.

In February, she said, she learned operatives implanted microchips in a man who had refused to give the government a lucrative invention he had created. The microchips were transported through a window and into the man's body using a satellite, she said. "The technology is so advanced that they can do it that way," she said.

The state of Kansas is operating under a dictatorial French law that the CIA helped establish here in the 1950s, Heffington said.

"They needed a state where unsuspecting people could be treated like guinea pigs so they could try out their covert activities," she said.

Okay, one last thing. Here's Joan Heffington on Elena Kagan:

Elena Kagan’s appointment shows that wealthy elite lawyers still control the high court. THE GOOD: She’s against late term abortion. THE BAD: a Washington insider, Harvard law degree, Catholic but not Christian.

Um, Jewish. So, yeah, not Christian. But also not Catholic.

THE UGLY: On 10/15/09, Kagan as Solicitor General for the U.S. Supreme Court filed “no response” to our writ of certiorari in our case against Pres. Bush and others for illegal surveillance/wrongful death of Mark Heffington. On 11/09/09, the high court refused to hear the case, citing no reason.

So she ignores lunatics?

Also, I think the court cited no reason to spare you the embarrassment of citing the legal principle of "we don't take cases from loonies."

All in all, this is one baboon-ass crazy candidate. But all things considered, still probably better than Brownback.

Crazy Candidate of the Day, Sane Edition

Today's crazy candidate is Colorado's Ken Buck.

The crazy thing is, he's not really crazy.

But once you've cast your lot in with the teabaggers, having a moment of sanity in front of a live microphone is just a crazy thing to do.
From The Denver Channel.com

Ken Buck Calls Tea Party Backers 'Dumb----s'

GOP U.S. Senate Candidate Disparages Those Questioning President Obama's Citizenship

DENVER -- Republican U.S. Senate candidate Ken Buck called Tea Party backers who doubt President Barack Obama's citizenship "dumb----s" to a Democratic operative recording his comments.On an audio tape obtained by The Denver Post, Buck was caught saying, "Will you tell those dumba---s at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates while I'm on the camera?"

Ooooh. . . . yeah, bad move, Ken! You really don't want to insult your main base of supporters, no matter how much they're begging for it.

You know, Ken, it's funny. I hadn't ever heard of you until I heard a story on the radio about you telling people they should vote for you because you "don't wear high heels,"



and when I look you up on the interwebs, this is what I find? You trashing the teabaggers?

Don't get me wrong, the teabaggers deserve your trashing. It's just that you've apparently been running as one of them. And trashing the people you're depending on for votes? Well, that's just crazy!

Oh, you know what else is crazy? Check out this snippet:

His Republican primary opponent, Jane Norton, quickly issued a news release Sunday night declaring: "KEN BUCK TRASHES TEA PARTIERS.""Ken Buck is two steps short of a fraud," Norton campaign spokesperson Cinamon Watson said in the release.

Yeah, your opponent is being represented by a person named "Cinamon."

Cinamon.

That might be a cute name for a pony, or a kitten, hell, even a stripper might be able to pull that off (no pun intended), but the spokesperson for a Congressional candidate? Named Cinamon? (and it's not even spelled right?) Now, that's crazy!

An even bigger middle finger

On the way home from Asheville, we were listening to a podcast of the Bugle (and if you haven't heard The Bugle, you're missing out on some good laughs. Check it out here) and either John Oliver or Andy Zaltzman mentioned that using corn to make ethanol was akin to the biggest possible middle finger to hungry people in the developing world. And I thought he was right. Until I got home and saw a commercial for this:

World's Best Cat Litter™ is the only litter made from whole-kernel corn

That's right! Suck on that, hungry children! We've got so much fucking corn, we're letting our cats piss on it! We'd rather that cats pissed on this corn than that it go to feed your family!

God, we're assholes!

Worst TV Show Ever

In Touch Exclusive:
Kate Gosselin and kids to meet Sarah Palin in Alaska!

Forget ex-husband Jon — Kate Gosselin could rename her TLC hit Sarah & Kate Plus 8! In Touch can exclusively reveal that Kate and her brood have traveled to Alaska with cameras in tow to meet up with the northern state’s most famous resident, Sarah Palin.

O, God there is no way this won't be on TV. These two publicity whores don't do anything that isn't designed to bring more attention and/or money their way. (for the record, Jon Gosselin is just as big a whore)

Maybe they could call it: Horrible Parents Profit From Their Kids.
or Soulless Mommies Drag Children Across the Tundra for Fun and Profit!
or Honey, I Exploited the Kids!

“Sarah, Kate and the kids will go camping,” a source says, adding that Sarah’s father, a retired science teacher, and brother, a third-grade educator, will conduct a hands-on natural history lesson for 9-year-old twins Mady and Cara, and 6-year-old sextuplets Aaden, Joel, Collin, Leah, Hannah and Alexis.

What the hell kind of science are they going to learn from this collection of snake-handling tongue -speakers? You know Sarah's afraid of witches, right?

A mother of a big family herself, former vice presidential candidate Sarah is thrilled about the upcoming visit. “She’s excited because it will be fun and educational for the children. Sarah will even teach Kate how to avoid bears!” the insider adds.

Fun and educational for the kids? Really? That's why she's excited? Because someone else is going to have fun and learn something? Not because it's more free publicity for her and probably another fat paycheck from some stupid cable network? Because I don't think Sarah is ever excited for anyone but Sarah. And neither Sarah nor Kate ever go anywhere there aren't TV cameras.