Please Raise My Taxes!

Dear Mr. President, Madame Speaker, Senator Reid, etc.

Please raise my taxes. Don't get me wrong, I don't like paying taxes any more than the next guy. I won't enjoy seeing the bottom line figure on my pay-stub get a little smaller. But I'm an adult. And I know that raising taxes is something that has to be done if we are going to be serious about the debt.

I know, the last administration told us we could have our wars and our tax cuts too, but that's the sort of magical thinking that children engage in, and I thought that at least for the next couple weeks, the grownups were in charge.

Seriously, you can't listen to these spoiled children who scream and cry about the deficit on the one hand and then scream and cry about losing their tax cuts on the other. These are people who don't understand that you can't eat your cake and keep it too. They are people who refuse to look realistically at hard choices. They are children. You need to ignore the children and do what is best for the country. Let Bush's stupid tax cuts expire. All of them. When you are spending more than you take in, you need to take in more. Or spend less, but since you insist on throwing billions of dollars and thousands of lives into the senseless meatgrinders of Iraq and Afghanistan, I don't see how we can expect to spend less.

If you want to keep the tax cuts, end the wars. Ideally, you could do both, end the wars and let the tax cuts expire, but if I've learned one thing the last couple years, it's to keep my expectations low when it comes to today's Democrats. So since I have no expectation of you actually doing anything, may I suggest you do what you seem to be best at, nothing. Just do nothing and the Bush tax cuts will expire. Please. Raise my taxes.

P.S. Madame Speaker, I don't mean to lump you in with these two milquetoasts. I know you have done your part to improve things, but anything you do gets stymied by the Senate. I apologize, and thank you.

Surprising Revelations from Bush's Memoir # 2

George W. Bush's mother is Rick Santorum!

George W. Bush’s pro-life stance solidified when he was a teenager in Texas — after his mother suffered a devastating miscarriage and showed him the fetus in a jar.
“She said to her teenage kid, ‘Here’s the fetus,’ ” the shockingly candid Bush told NBC’s Matt Lauer, gesturing as if he were holding the jar during the TV chat.

Oh. My. God!

 Geezus, No wonder he became a drunk!

So This Is a Thing Now.

It's "Cuponk!"

Apparently, Hasbro has turned Beer Pong into a kids' game. Good job, Hasbro!

Surprising Revelations From Bush's Memoir

Surprising revelation #1:

THIS
 
 

is what Bush considers the low point of his presidency.

Not this



Or this



Or this



or this



But this:



The low point of your disastrous presidency was getting your feelings hurt by Kanye West? Really? Are you sure you're not confusing your career with Taylor Swift's?

Oh My God, It Just Never Stops With These People!

Now trash collection is too "socialist" for these insane idiots.

'Tea partyers' oppose changes to Fountain Hills trash collection

Edward Gately - Nov. 7, 2010 07:04 PM
The Arizona Republic

A decision by the Fountain Hills Town Council to hire a single trash hauler and begin a curbside recycling program has been met with angry protests from residents who accuse town leaders of overstepping their bounds and taking a leap toward socialism.

last week, a flier was circulated around Fountain Hills with an ominous icon and the phrase, "The Hills Will Have Eyes," and that claimed the "Fountain Hills Green Police" checked residents' garbage and recyclables, and as a result, "you are wanted for questioning."

On Thursday, a divided council approved a five-year contract with Allied Waste Services to be the single hauler and begin a recycling program. Residents currently can choose among five haulers and the town has no curbside recycling.
That single issue generated a nearly five-hour public hearing and council debate that went past midnight.

Peter Bardow, an opponent, said the issue isn't about politics, but about taking away his and other residents' right to choose their own trash hauler. "I feel like you're forcing homeowners-association regulation and homeowners-association enforcement on me," he said.