Saturday, March 5, 2011

Weirdest Thing I've Ever Seen (slightly NSFW)

So there is apparently now a thing called "Bible Burlesque."

Some characters make sense, like Eve, the most famous naked lady since Lady Godiva.



Name: Magdelena Fox
Costume:
Eve


Others are a bit more puzzling:

Below is Victoria as sexy Joseph, whom she chose to portray because she's "used to wearing itchy, fake facial hair."






I'm not sure to whom that is supposed to appeal.


But on the "disturbing scale," that barely ranks a 4 or 5. And that scale goes up to 10.


This is an 11:




Name: BB Heart
Costume: Jesus Christ 



What the What? Jesus as zombie geisha? As a zombie geisha portrayed by Marilyn Manson?


 I think there's nothing left to do now but sit back and wait for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to come riding in.



The cast, after interpreting the Book of Revelation and the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. 

Oh, dear God! How am I supposed to sleep now?

Friday, March 4, 2011

Mike Huckabee Is Our Generation's Dan Quayle

http://blog.wfmu.org/.a/6a00d83451c29169e201156f438bb1970c-800wi

Huckabee Attacks Natalie Portman For Glamorizing "Out Of Wedlock Births"

March 03, 2011 5:41 pm ET by Eric Hananoki
 In a radio appearance on Monday, Mike Huckabee attacked actress Natalie Portman for having a child "out of wedlock." 

 MEDVED: . . . there was one moment where a very brilliant and admirable actress named Natalie Portman won Best Actress, and she won for a movie which I loathed called Black Swan. But in any event, she got up, she was very visibly pregnant, and it's really it's a problem because she's about seven months pregnant, it's her first pregnancy, and she and the baby's father aren't married, and before two billion people, Natalie Portman says, 'Oh I want to thank my love and he's given me the most wonderful gift.' He didn't give her the most wonderful gift, which would be a wedding ring! And it just seems to me that sending that kind of message is problematic.

What a horrible message to send, that babies are precious gifts! And from Natalie Portman of all people! You know there's no one impressionable teen girls look up to more than Natalie Portman, or as they refer to her, "who?"

By the way, not that it matters, necessarily, but she and the father are engaged.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnj1w7brz6v3FkuJl4y6Hf2KhkeA-W9zDe0GrGJ663iAMqpVUn0g0jNdebHZ9CqIVhOm6Xu4xL4e0D6eDyEDntIn5iIk6I8p1eH7hdf6KdZ6MnudPQIcKmXwYpvqL5nwO4iSkQ5LSX-CE/s400/Oscars+2011+Natalie+Portman+triumphs+as+best+actress+but+the+night+belongs+to+best+film%252C+The+King%2527s+Speech%252C+with+honours+to+Colin+Firth%252C+director+and+writer++1.jpg 

Check out the ring finger on her left hand. Unless someone already knew a lot about her personal life, one would probably assume that she was married, until a couple of blue-nose prigs decided to point out otherwise because they need someone at whom to tsk-tsk to assert their moral superiority. Just like Jesus always said to do!

HUCKABEE: You know Michael, one of the things that's troubling is that people see a Natalie Portman or some other Hollywood starlet who boasts of, 'Hey look, you know, we're having children, we're not married, but we're having these children, and they're doing just fine.' 

Well, since, as Medved just mentioned, Ms Portman's first child has yet to be born, she could hardly have boasted about it "doing fine." Also, she is not the one who mentioned her marital status, that was you two.


But there aren't really a lot of single moms out there who are making millions of dollars every year for being in a movie. And I think it gives a distorted image that yes, not everybody hires nannies, and caretakers, and nurses. 

No one could possibly understand that millionaire movie "starlets" can afford things that most of us can't. That's why Ferrari dealerships are so inundated with teenagers trying to purchase a car with their allowance money. Go by any Ferrari dealer and just watch the disappointed teens filing out, heads down, dreams shattered. Oh, what a rude awakening when they finally realize that life is different for the very rich!

Most single moms are very poor, uneducated, can't get a job, and if it weren't for government assistance, their kids would be starving to death and never have health care. And that's the story that we're not seeing, and it's unfortunate that we glorify and glamorize the idea of out of children wedlock. [sic]

 http://www.csmonitor.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/images/2010/1110/1110-dancing-with-the-stars-bristol-palin/9010067-1-eng-US/1110-Dancing-with-the-Stars-bristol-palin_full_600.jpg 

You know, right now, 75 percent of black kids in this country are born out of wedlock. 61 percent of Hispanic kids -- across the board, 41 percent of all live births in America are out of wedlock births. And the cost of that is simply staggering. 

And 99% of those babies were conceived by couples who had just watched Natalie Portman's acceptance speech.

Ladies and gentlemen, the next president of the United States!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

By Way of Apology for those last videos

Here's Loretta Lynn:









I can't tell if this guy is serious.

If you look up the "Heartbeat Bill" video on the YouTube,  they will suggest that you may also enjoy this guy:



I thought that maybe this was satire/parody, mainly because he uses the phrase "God says it's a real big no-no," but if he's doing comedy, he never lets on. Even Steven Colbert breaks character now and then, but not this guy. So he's either quite serious or he may be the bastard son of Andy Kaufman and Mojo Nixon.



Yeah, I still can't tell.



If this guy is serious, he's a truly awful person. But it's really hard to believe that this is not some sort of guerrilla street theater.

What in the Hell is This?



You know, if you want people to protect fetuses, you might not want to intercut pictures of a fetus looking like a prop from the 1980,s miniseries "V" with clips of actual babies. Because if you're like me, your reaction goes something like: "Oh, isn't he just adorable, aww, look at that little cherub, what a little doll, OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! ooh, that one's cute!"

Also, having it sing in a grown woman's voice just makes it even creepier.

Also, this really feels like a way for someone to sell cheap mylar balloons left over from Valentine's Day. It's almost as if. . . .
Complete the form below and for the appropriate suggested donation, you will send our Representatives a red heart-shaped balloon, with the following message personalized from you:

Please choose one of the following: 
Send balloons to 23 members of the House Committee for $59.99
Send Balloons--one for the Governor & 99 Ohio State Reps! for $199.00
Send a donation (enter below) to help us pass the Heartbeat Bill 




And there it is. Because if you want to make a quick buck off of wingnuts, cheap, empty symbolism is probably the way to go. And by cheap, I of course don't mean low-cost. One hundred and ninety-nine freakin' dollars? For balloons? If you spend that much on heart-shaped balloons, you better be getting some action from the governor and at least half of the state reps. 


I noticed that they used a picture of an actual baby for their campaign, not a creepy fetus.