Yes, and Troll 2 was a nearly flawless film.

Bachmann: Campaign was 'almost mistake-free'
By Justin Sink - 05/04/12 01:04 PM ET

Michele Bachmann said that aside from a few minor stumbles, her short-lived presidential campaign was "extremely careful" and "almost mistake-free."

Minor stumbles? Seriously? I don't remember any minor stumbles. I remember the most perfect campaign since President Bartlett's re-election. So what were these couple of minor stumbles?

Michele Bachmann: I think one thing I learned is a person has to be extremely careful with what they say. Make sure you have Elvis Presley’s birthday down, because that’s very important, and know where John Wayne was born. Those are two extremely important pieces of information.

Oh, right. I guess maybe there were a couple of things you might have done differently, like:
Maybe don't try to blame Jimmy Carter for Swine Flu?
Or maybe don't suggest eliminating the minimum wage?
Or maybe don't sign a pledge that contains language about how much better black folks had it during slavery?
Or claim that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly to end slavery?
Or state that the shot heard 'round the world was fired in New Hampshire?
Or trash Medicare while your husband's "clinic" collects thousands of dollars from them?
Or claim that the hpv vaccine causes retardation?

 But, yeah, it was pretty much the John Wayne thing and the Elvis thing. Ohter than that, perfect. Just ask whoever this hack interviewer is:

David Brody: You ran pretty much an impeccable campaign, in terms of a mistake-free campaign.

Michele Bachmann: Thank you, it really was.

David Brody: It pretty much was.

Bachmann: It really was, we were extremely careful, and we were almost mistake-free, but for those two points, Elvis Presley’s birthday and John Wayne’s birthplace. I’ve apologized, and we moved beyond.

So who is this David Brody? Well, according to his CBN bio,

David Brody

David Brody is an Emmy Award winning 23 year veteran news journalist

Oh, no, wait. We're thinking of David Broder, it does not go on to say.

David is also a political contributor to Glenn Beck's GBTV network  

Oh, okay. Got it.

Thank You, Kellog's Cereals!

Kellog's cereal company recently issued this statement in response to Bill Donahue's demand that they pull their advertising from the Daily Show because Jon Stewart hates the pope or something:

“We understand that our customers come from a variety of backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles, and cultures and we respect their individual decisions to choose the television programs that they deem acceptable for themselves and their families. Consumers speak most loudly when they vote with their remote control and change the channel or turn off the TV if a program does not fit their personal criteria.”

It's always nice to see a company stand up to a punk like Donahue.


Here is the statement Donahue issued in response:

THIS SHALL NOT STAND!

    In other words, Kellogg’s is telling Christians to shove it. But they made a mistake. We will now send the indefensible picture to their senior management and board, as well as to community leaders, religious and secular, throughout Battle Creek, Michigan. We are also calling for a national boycott of all Kellogg’s cereals. Moreover, I will notify the public via TV, radio and our website about their collapse of decency. This is just for starters. We have the time, money, and the determination to give Kellogg’s some free advertisement.

We will move Heaven and Earth to stop Jon Stewart from putting a naughty picture on the teevee machine! Honest to God, we have nothing better with which to concern ourselves! We have no lives, we have no other interests, we are completely oblivious to current events. We will stop at nothing to end the naughty picture assault, and to this end we pledge our lives, our fortunes, and our, um, what else? Anyway, this is the hill on which I choose to die!

For caturday, THIS:

http://new.livestream.com/FosterKittenCam/MirandasKittens

You're Welcome.

Heartland Institute is Disgusting

(via Think Progress)
The Heartland Institute has launched one of the most offensive billboard campaigns in U.S. history. The Chicago-based anti-science think tank is comparing all those who accept climate science — and the journalists who report on it accurately — to Charles Manson, the Unabomber, and Osama Bin Laden.

What the hell?

What is that even supposed to mean? That Global warming is such an obvious truth that even a nut like the Unabomber can see it?
No, it's the Heartland Institute, your number one source for science-denial since, I don't know when, I'm not going to bother to look it up.

Here's their explanation for this gross campaign:

The billboard series features Ted Kaczynski, the infamous Unabomber; Charles Manson, a mass murderer; and Fidel Castro, a tyrant. . .

These rogues and villains were chosen because they made public statements about how man-made global warming is a crisis and how mankind must take immediate and drastic actions to stop it.

So you can discredit a scientific finding by pointing out that some bad people believe it? Is that effective?

 

Gravity. Hitler believed in it.

Why did Heartland choose to feature these people on its billboards?

Because what these murderers and madmen have said differs very little from what spokespersons for the United Nations, journalists for the “mainstream” media, and liberal politicians say about global warming.  

And everyone knows that murderers and tyrants are terrible at science! So, if they believe something, it necessarily follows that that belief is false. 

Augusto Pinochet: murderer, tyrant. Believed in Jesus.

(or does believe, is he dead yet?)

The point is that believing in global warming is not “mainstream,” smart, or sophisticated. In fact, it is just the opposite of those things.  

How is that the point? Believing in global warming is absolutely mainstream, so much so that even guys who live in prison, and so probably have very limited access to new scientific data, understand that it is true. And it doesn't matter whether or not science is accepted by the mainstream anyway. The mainstream is chock full of idiots, ignoramuses and nuts. 80% of Americans think that the government is hiding information about aliens.  Not the immigrant kind of aliens, SPACE ALIENS! Over 50% believe in ghosts. 

  

The most convincing evidence so far.

It doesn't matter if science is accepted by the "mainstream." It is accepted by the people who understand science.

Still believing in man-made global warming – after all the scientific discoveries and revelations that point against this theory – is more than a little nutty. In fact, some really crazy people use it to justify immoral and frightening behavior.

Name one! Name one person who has used his belief in global warming to justify some sort of immoral and frightening behavior!

 

Science made me do it!

 Of course, not all global warming alarmists are murderers or tyrants. But the Climategate scandal and the more recent Fakegate scandal revealed that the leaders of the global warming movement are willing to break the law and the rules of ethics to shut down scientific debate and implement their left-wing agendas

That Is A Lie.

Scientific, political, and public support for the theory of man-made global warming is collapsing. Most scientists and 60 percent of the general public (in the U.S.) do not believe man-made global warming is a problem.

That is also a lie. You may be right about 60% of the public, but not most scientist. At least, not the scientists whose field of study is at all relevant, like say climatologists.

The people who still believe in man-made global warming are mostly on the radical fringe of society. This is why the most prominent advocates of global warming aren’t scientists. They are murderers, tyrants, and madmen.

What fucking world do you live in? None of these villains is a prominent advocate of, um, anything.

And as for the people who do "still believe" in man-made global warming, do these people sound like fringe radicals to you?

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon

Ted Turner

Tony Blair

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Richard Branson

Every Legitimate Scientist not on the Payroll of Exxon-Mobil

Anyway, they actually seem to have put more time into this explanation of their campaign than the actual campaign itself, because it's already over:

UPDATE: Heartland ended their gruesome failure today at 5 pm, but in a release, refused to admit it was a mistake or apologize. Heartland Institute President Joseph Bast tried to call this an “experiment” even though a series of billboards were planned (see below) and stated, “We do not apologize for running the ad.” So, apparently, no lessons learned for the disinformers. What caused them to fold, then? The Washington Post‘s Greg Sargent reported:

    Congressman Sensenbrenner will not participate in the upcoming Climate Change Conference if the Heartland Institute decides to continue this ad campaign. We have contacted the Heartland Institute and voiced these same concerns to them.

You know you are off the deep end of anti-science extremism when you’ve offended the sensibility of Sensenbrenner,

Delusions of Grandeur

It's not ridiculous enough that "Joe" the "plumber" is running for Congress, he apparently thinks that the President of the United States (of America!) ought to b able to clear up some time on his schedule to meet with him, because he's so super-important, what with basically being the Snookie of electoral politics and all.

From his sad, stupid little website "Some Crappy Little Bald Guy for Congress or Something"

Dear Mister President:

I stopped by your house the other day because I wanted to talk with you about what's happened since we last met.

Are you serious? Oh, wait. no, you couldn't possibly be. Never mind.

I vividly remember the day you passed through my neighborhood during your 2008 campaign for President. I looked you in the eye and asked how your tax plan would affect a business I was going to buy.

Which I ended up deciding not to buy because it turns out you need money to buy things.

Ultimately, after describing a complicated tax scheme that seemed to require jumping through hoops to avoid being punished for success, you finished by saying that "when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody". Surely you remember that, don't you?

Um, yeah. . . just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's complicated. For instance, the difference between an important person and a pseudo-plumber who got famous for being used as a convenient political prop by a desperate candidate isn't all that complicated. Just ask a smart person.

In the time since we first met, a lot of folks have lost their job while you got the one for which you were applying. Funny how that worked out: millions of folks out here are living the nightmare of broken dreams, lost livelihoods, and crushing unemployment under your watch while you enjoy the perks of your new job being President of the greatest country on earth.

And those two things are related how? If the Prez stopped enjoying the "perks" would that help create more jobs? Also, a lot of people lost their jobs since you first met, but an awful lot of them lost jobs between the time you met and the time President Obama took office. I shouldn't have to explain to you that those job losses really can't be laid at his doorstep.

It must be nice to get lavish vacations in exotic places for you and your family, playing unending rounds of golf at the world’s best country clubs while most of us Americans are just happy to be able to pay our bills.

If only he would play at the municipal golf course, all our problems would be solved! Oh, wait. A municipal golf course? SOCIALISM!!!

 Your burdensome and punishing regulations made sure that job-creating small businesses suffer like never before.

Okay, I'm calling "name one!" on this bull. Name one regulation enacted by the Obama Administration that is causing businesses to suffer. Go ahead, name one. *crickets*

And yet, through it all, your friends, bundlers, and campaign contributors seem to be doing just fine. Thanks to your "spread the wealth" message, we’ve got people "occupying" legitimate businesses and industries, terrorizing the children of business leaders in their own homes, and calling for government control of everything and everybody. 

You know, it's hard to tell if you're really this stunningly ignorant, or just completely dishonest. You do know that the Occupiers have been very clear about their dislike for Obama's economic policies, right? And it's a little tough to sell the idea that they are calling for government control of everything when the conventional wisdom on the OWS is "no one knows what they want," and "they have no clear message," and "what the heck are their demands?"
Also, you're surprised that the super-wealthy campaign donor class isn't suffering? Really?

Mister President, I think it's time you and I continued our conversation.
I tried early and late, but you weren't home and I couldn't find anyone to take a message. 

Yeah, maybe a little busy being the leader of the free world?

Perhaps you had a good score at the golf course today? Any luck getting more campaign donations? I'm sure that's taking up a lot of your energy.

Ooh, good point! Barack Obama is the only politician who has to spend time soliciting for campaign donations! Zing! Why can't he just get his little daughters to make campaign signs with color crayons and poster board like he was running for student council?

By the way... you may have heard I am running for Congress in the OH-9 district.
 I'm going to win. 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

I'm going to win. Maybe you can stop by my office when you and your family visit DC and I’ll show you around my new digs. We can finish that chat then.