Meanwhile, in France. . .

Braless is Best? Study Says Bras Make Breasts Saggier


Researchers spent 15 years studying the breasts of over 330 French women. . .






Yes, "researchers!"

Bible-Thumper doesn't understand Bible

Rep Joe Barton (R - etarded)


Congressman Says Bible Proves Climate Change Isn't Man-Made

Forget for a moment that the Bible doesn't prove anything, that in fact it demands to be taken on blind faith, just look at this flawless logic:

"I would point out that if you're a believer in in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn't because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy." 


Wow!
Just stunning!

See, if you believe in the Bible's flood story, you would believe that this was absolutely NOT an example of climate change. Rather, it is an example of what happens when God gets mad at people. When Old Testament God gets upset, folks are gonna die!

See, in the Biblical flood story, God decides that people have become so obnoxious that the entire population of the earth needs to be drowned to death, including all the animals, but I guess fish were probably cool. And dolphins. But anyway, for whatever reason, God decides to kill 'em all and let himself sort them out, but he keeps one human family and a couple of each animal alive on a whopping great boat because do you know how long it would take to re-create all those species? Like six days!

Anyway, the flood occurs not because of global warming, melting ice caps, rising sea levels, etc. No, it occurs because God purposely makes it rain 40 straight days and nights and sends all the underground springs to the surface to intentionally flood the entire planet. This is literally what the insurance companies call an "act of God," and if any of them had survived they would have denied all claims because of it.


So, what does any of this have to do with our actual, real-world present day climate situation? I don't know. But Barton also had this to say:

Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) said you can have "an honest difference of opinion" of what's causing climate change without "automatically being either all in that's all because of mankind or it's all just natural," BuzzFeed reports.

Sure, reasonable people can disagree as to whether to base their "opinion" about global warming on the work of countless actual scientists, or on a weird misunderstanding of a 5,000-year-old folk tale. Just like we can disagree on whether or not thunder is caused by the hammer of mighty Thor!

 

Okay, I guess that answers that!

So, What is this "accidental racist" thing?

I've been seeing references to something called "accidental racist"  on the Twitter the last couple days. I didn't know what it referred to. To the Google!

 

um, okay. . . still not sure. . .

So apparently, this is the name of a song by a Mr. Brad Paisley and LL Cool J. Wait, that can't be right.

Paisley, LL Cool J Stand by ‘Accidental Racist’

By ABC News

Apr 10, 2013 8:41am

 



Oh. Okay, that is a real thing I guess.

And apparently, their record label is so embarrassed by this song that they have scrubbed it from YouTube.

The lyrics are available on-line, however.

To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand
When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I'm a Skynyrd fan
The red flag on my chest somehow is like the elephant in the corner of the south
And I just walked him right in the room
Just a proud rebel son with an 'ol can of worms
Lookin' like I got a lot to learn but from my point of view



So, if I'm understanding this correctly, he's saying that he's wearing a Confederate flag t-shirt as a way to show his support for shitty Seventies rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd? Because obviously, there's no way to show your Skynyrd fan cred without rockin' the symbol of racist oppression, right?

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just a white man comin' to you from the southland
Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from but not everything we've done
And it ain't like you and me can re-write history

 

Okay, if you're not proud of everything you've done, wouldn't one of those things of which you aren't proud be going to war with the United States in order to keep being able to enslave other human beings? Because that is what that flag stands for. That flag wasn't around in the Antebellum South. That is the battle flag of one of the secessionist armies that existed for the sole purpose of warring with the United States in order to preserve the "peculiar institution."

 

So, yeah, you know, I know not everything we've done down here has been perfect. We've made mistakes. Oh, not the Civil War, no that was awesome! And slavery? Well, we're all real proud of that!

 

I try to put myself in your shoes and that's a good place to begin
But it ain't like I can walk a mile in someone else's skin

And, since I can't possibly understand what it's like to be you, and I can't begin to comprehend how offensive this flag is to someone like you, let me just go ahead and explain how it's not offensive at all, and how hard it is to be a cracker these days.

 

 

Our generation didn't start this nation
And we're still paying for the mistakes
That a bunch of folks made long before we came
And caught between southern pride and southern blame
See? We're still being blamed for the mistakes made by those folks whose flag we proudly display. Totally not fair. It's like if some German guy is rocking a swastika just to show pride in his German heritage, not that he's proud of the holocaust per se, would you just assume that he supported the Nazis? Hmm?

 

 



Hmm, I wonder if there is any way that Mr. Cool J could chime in and make this even worse?


If you don't judge my do-rag
I won't judge your red flag
If you don't judge my gold chains
I'll forget the iron chains
Can't re-write history baby


So, if I agree not to judge your do-rag and gold chains, then we're cool about the whole slavery thing?
Holy shit, I had  no idea it was that easy! Deal!

And the climactic verse, with Mr. Cool J's lines in parentheses:

Oh, Dixieland
(The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin')
I hope you understand what this is all about
(Quite frankly I'm a black Yankee but I've been thinkin' about this lately)
I'm a son of the new south
(The past is the past, you feel me)
And I just want to make things right
(Let bygones be bygones)
Where all that's left is southern pride
(RIP Robert E. Lee but I've gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean)
It's real, it's real
It's truth


RIP Robert E. Lee?
Seriously?
Let bygones be bygones?
And all that's left is Southern Pride?

Look, there are many things for which the South is justifiably proud. Martin Luther King, Hank Williams, James Brown, Jimmy Carter, bluegrass. . . but the stars and bars don't symbolize any of that. They symbolize treason. Treason committed mainly for the purpose of preserving slavery. There's a reason the Confederate flag is flown at Klan rallies and skinhead gatherings.




No matter what you tell yourselves about the flag representing pride in your birth state, or how glad you are to be a country boy or whatever, the Stars & Bars stands for racism. You can whitesplain it all you want, that's real, it's real, it's truth.

I'm Back! What'd I Miss?

We finally finished Season 2 of the Killing. I can not recommend this show highly enough. If you haven't seen it, go to Netflix or Hulu or Amazon or wherever you get your on-demand TV and check it out. And I'm sure someone will want to tell me how much better the original Danish version is, I  don't care. The AMC version is fantastic.

It reminds me in a way of Twin Peaks, but without the supernatural elements or the comic relief, or the bizarre characters, really it's not similar at all. But it does unfold very slowly, taking two seasons to solve a single case, it takes place in the Pacific Northwest, there's a pervasive sense of dread, I don't know, I can't put my finger on why it reminds me of Twin Peaks, but it does. Anyway, you will not see two better performances than Mireille Enos as lead detective Sarah Linden


And Deadwood veteran Brent Sexton as the father of the murdered girl.

 

 

So check it out. You'll be glad you did. Season 3 should be starting soon, you 'll want to watch 1 & 2 before it starts.

 

 

So anyway, what have I missed while I was out of the loop?

Well, Margaret Thatcher died. That would have been good news 30 years ago. Now? Eh! But let us take a moment to speak ill of the dead. I think it's not only allowable, it is maybe even necessary to speak ill of the dead, lest they be immortalized as saints, with history glossing over their crimes. Thatcher was a nasty piece of work who made life worse for a lot of people. She supported the Apartheid regime in South Africa, she supported Pinochet in Chile and used brutal force at home to crush the coal miners' union. Hunter S. Thompson once referred to her as "Reagan with balls." (I think it was Hunter S.) now that she's dead, let's not pretend that she was anything other than what she was, a thoroughly despicable human being.

So long, Ronnie. See you in Hell!

What else?

Horrible, disgusting AG Ken Cuccinelli is keeping his state's anti-gay-sex laws on the books, even though the Supreme Court has already ruled that they are unconstitutional:

 “My view is that homosexual acts, not homosexuality, but homosexual acts are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong. And I think in a natural law based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that. … They don’t comport with natural law.” As a result, the law’s text remains unchanged a decade after the Supreme Court’s ruling.

Then there's the Rutgers Basketball coach kerfuffle.

I assumed there would be yahoos coming out of the woodwork to defend coach Rice. I assumed it would follow the usual commentor-on-Yahoo-News-story pattern. Somehting like "My coach used to kick me square in the nuts whenever I missed a free-throw, and I was glad he did! In fact, if I were capable of fathering a child, I would name him after Coach DeSade!" For some reason, I wasn't expecting anyone to air thais view on TV. Not even on FOX. What was I thinking?

 

Of course. Them!

 



Sean Hannity explained his obvious anger issues thusly:

“My father hit me with a belt, I turned out okay!” the Fox News host exclaimed.

Well, you've found a way to make your emotional problems into a lucrative career, if that's what you mean by fine.
“Same here!” Malkin said. “Oh, I certainly did. And with more than a belt.
He used to beat me with the idiot stick, she did not add.

“Well, I have to tell you, I’m much better at administering spankings now than receiving them,” Malkin concluded.
Holy shit! Michelle Malkin and spanking? Let a thousand photoshops bloom!






 



In case you were wondering whether Corporate America has completely captured all of our Regulatory Agencies. . .

. . . Yes. Yes they have.

FAA puts no-fly zone over Arkansas oil spill with Exxon employee in charge                            

Published time: April 04, 2013 03:59

 

 

  

The FAA announced a temporary no-fly zone would be enacted indefinitely over the Arkansas oil spill. With word that an Exxon employee was controlling the airspace, though, speculation pointed to the idea the oil company was trying to keep the media away. 

The right of the people to know who is fucking up their land air and water is obviously less important than Exxon's right to minimize negative publicity!

The Federal Aviation Administration announced Monday that until further notice, no aircraft will be allowed to operate over the Mayflower oil spill in Conway, Arkansas. While there was scant explanation for the mandate, it was “effective immediately” - and ordered to stay in place “until further notice.”

Until Exxon tells us we can lift it.

Adult Swim fans will recognize this as the Dan Halen/Sheriff relationship.

The FAA's online posting raised some questions Wednesday, though, by noting that “only relief aircraft operations under direction of Tom Suhrhoff” are permitted in the area. On his LinkedIn profile, Suhrhoff lists himself not as an emergency expert or safety official, but as an aviation adviser for ExxonMobil.

The US government has officially placed an Exxon/Mobil employee in charge of this bit of US airspace. I think I've lost the capacity to be shocked.