Thursday, June 23, 2016

You Couldn't Make This Shit Up!



This whole Donald Trump thing just keeps getting more and more bizarre.

Three days after sending out an e-m,ail blast begging for sup[porters to donate $100k, which should be between-the-couch-cushions change for a supposed billionaire, one of Trump's coterie of weirdo spokespeople went on CNN to declare:

Money is not a problem for our campaign.

https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_200_200/p/2/000/083/012/0d31141.jpg 
Honest to God, this is her LinkedIn profile picture!

 
Then she had this exchange with CNN host Brooke Baldwin:

“Guess what? Mr. Trump is a billionaire,” Goertz repeated. “Money is not a problem. Yeah, I’m sure all the papers are saying that. The papers need to say something about Mr. Trump: We are winning, he is the nominee in my mind.”
Baldwin noted that Trump was down 5 points in the latest CNN poll.
“That’s nothing,” Goertz scoffed. “
Wow!
That's like someone going on ESPN and saying "the Dodgers are leading the National League West." And then the host says "well, here's today's standings, and you can see that the Giants are 5 games ahead of the Dodgers." And then the first guy says "Pfft! Five games? Big deal!"

I mean, I know facts are completely optional in Trumpland, and GOPland in general, but how does someone who is supposedly a professional spokeswoman tell such a blatant obvious and easily-disprovable lie on national television? Okay, sure, it's CNN, but there are still some people watching in sandwich shops with the volume off.

Oh, and by the way, look at what this oddball lists as her previous professional experience on her LinkedIn:







Your entire professional resume consists if having appeared on stupid reality game shows, now you're a "senior advisor" to one of two people who could possibly be the next President! You couldn't make this shit up!


Oh, and speaking of shit up which you could not make, this is Trump's actual fundraising email:








How is this matching funds bullshit supposed to be an incentive? Generally, when one does the matching funds thing, it's for funds given to a third party. It's not "for every dollar you give to me, I will also give a dollar to me." That's not helping. If anything, that just seems like you really don't need the little people's donations. If you have $2 million ready to toss into the pot, why the hell should I give you my 10 or 20 hard-earned bucks? Just so you can say that your fundraiser was "the most successful in modern political history?" ( Modern political history, mind you. Even Trump couldn't compete with Constantine the 4th's marketing prowess.)
Seriously, matching funds donated to yourself? You couldn't make this shit up!














Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Senate Cowards fuck us again.



The shameful spectacle that is our United States Senate hit another new low. After being arm-twisted into pretending to consider modest gun-law reforms, four bills were proposed and all four died like a child facing an armed madman with an AK.  Were they voted down? No. Not exactly. None of them even came to a vote because they couldn't get 60 votes for cloture.

Is there any more pathetic scene than the party which holds the majority filibustering their own bills?
You're in the majority, any bill you don't like you can vote down. The majority party should NEVER have to filibuster anything!

The only possible reason for the majority to filibuster a bill is that they know good and damn well that their constituents want this and they want to reject it without having to stand up and vote nay on the record. These craven, crawling cowards know that the American people want sensible restrictions on gun ownership but they are too afraid of losing their A+ scores from the vile NRA to actually represent the people who elected them. And they don't have the balls to stand up, look their constituents in the eye and say "here's why we're fucking you over. Here's why we would rather let mass murders continue to happen on a daily basis than make any effort to try and stem the flow of blood in our nation's streets."

There is a list of the sick cowards here: http://iammyfather.tumblr.com/post/146259409823/vote-these-fuckers-out ifyou have any doubt whether your Senator was among them. (Hint: If there is an R after their name, then yes.) But how about some recognition for two Senators in particular who saw the epidemic of senseless slaughter and said "hmm. . .what if I could come up with a way to make it worse?"

First: Chuck Grassley. When I saw that one of the gun control bills had been proposed by Grassley, I had a glimmer of hope. Stupid, stupid hope. I thought for a second "have we maybe finally reached such a tipping point that even a kook like Grassley is finally acknowledging that we need some restrictions on guns?" Haha, no.
Here's what Grassley proposes.

SEC. _01. SHORT TITLE.

       This title may be cited as the ``Protecting Communities and 
     Preserving the Second Amendment Act of 2016''.


So right away you know this is bullshit, because can you really do both? Protect communities AND preserve the right-wing interpretation of the 2nd Amendment? Probably not.

Then there's a whole bunch of mind-numbing legal crap, but the wonderful Igor Volsky sums up the effects of the amendment as:

"It would allow an individual to regain the ability to buy a gun immediately upon release from a period of INVOLUNTARY PSYCHIATRIC TREATMENT. It would also allow veterans who suffer from serious mental illness and are at risk of suicide to legally buy guns (emphasis added. By me.)
So, sure, why should having been locked up in a god damn insane asylum keep you from owning weapons of death? And if our brave young men and women who were damaged in the service of their country want to kill themselves, who are we to try and stop them? All in all, a real piece of shit amendment from a real piece of shit excuse for a human being.

Then there's Jon Cornyn. Volsky sums up Cornyn's amanedment thusly:

"A suspected terrorist will be able to purchase a gun unless the Attorney General can prove in court that the suspect has already or will actually commit an act of terrorism. The accused individual must have an opportunity to contest the evidence against him/her and present their own. All this must occur within 3 business days."

Jeezus, where to even begin?
First of all, it's nice to see a right-wing Republican suddenly concerned with due process for terrorism suspects. Although, not those being held in indefinite detention in Guantanamo, or being tortured in CIA black sites, or popping up on the "okay to kill with drone strike" list. No, only for those who want to buy guns. Then suddenly, Cornyn is some kind of civil libertarian.
Also, if the Attorney General could prove that the person HAD committed an act of terrorism, that person would be in some prison we've never heard of being waterboarded and God knows what else. And it is of course completely impossible to prove that someone WILL commit an act of terrorism. Or any act. It's not possible to prove that I'm going to finish typing this sentence. So basically, anyone who in in the US and outside of prison walls can have any gun they want. Because Freedom, I guess?

And this is what is being proposed NOW. In the wake of our nation's worst ever mass shooting. This is what those fuckers came up with, more guns in the hands of the mentally disturbed and terrorism suspects. That's the response. To make things even worse.

 Apparently, even the Senate Republicans, a vile and loathsome group that includes such walking nightmares as Ted Cruz and James Inhofe, couldn't bring themselves to vote on these, that's how disgusting these two amendments are.

So, we're back to what is somehow, inexplicably, miserably, heartbreakingly considered "normal" in the US. Innocent people being mowed down like Australians at Galipoli  is just considered one of those unavoidable unpleasantries by the people who are actually in a position to do something about it. While the rest of us plead for some, any, effort to mitigate the epidemic, our "leaders" kowtow to the death merchants, send "thoughts and prayers" to the victims and shout FREEDOMMMM!!! all the way to the bank. It's sick and disgusting and it doesn't look to be changing anytime soon.







Thursday, June 16, 2016

Dick Of The Day





https://totaldrama.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/leo-pixelated-dick.png
Congressman Steven Palazzo (R- Miss)

It all started out very nicely. US Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus announce that the Navy would be naming a ship after my Congressman, civil rights icon John Lewis.




 Not the most flattering picture, but you get the idea how respected this man is in our district.

At a ship-naming ceremony in January, Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus announced, "Naming this ship after John Lewis is a fitting tribute to a man who has, from his youth, been at the forefront of progressive social and human rights movements in the U.S., directly shaping both the past and future of our nation."

So nobody could possibly have any problem with this, right?


Bill would strip John Lewis of naval ship namesake

But of course, Palazzo's bill has nothing to do with his being offended by the idea of honoring Civil Rights Legends like Chavez or Lewis, or someone whose name has become synonymous with the need to do something to prevent gun violence.

Rep. Steven Palazzo (R-Miss.) said believes the naming of ships should be reserved for former presidents, war heroes and people who have served in the military, which neither Lewis (D-Ga.) nor Levin (D-Mich.) did.
“My amendment has nothing — absolutely zero — to do with John Lewis or any other member of Congress,” Palazzo said in a statement.
"It's nothing personal against John Lewis,"  he probably did not add, "it's just the idea of honoring a black person. . .ooogh! Am I right?"

So congratulations, Mississippi Congressman Steven Palazzo,

http://media.tumblr.com/2c6aa07b013b27001004c8e7e314af20/tumblr_inline_mstc3wiLj91qz4rgp.gif


Wednesday, June 15, 2016

What I Should've Said




Some idiot actually sent me this message on the Twitter.



At the time I couldn't think of a more clever response than "you're an idiot," also I would have only had 140 characters, but here's what I should have said.


Guns don't kill? Then why do we give them to soldiers? Why don't we send our troops into battle with knives and clubs instead of automatic rifles? Hell, why not just send them out into battle empty-handed and tell them to strangle the enemy?

Could it possibly be because guns, and especially assault rifles, are the easiest away to kill people? Especially large numbers of people? Because maybe if someone attacks another person with a knife or a stick or a rock that person could either defend himself or run away? And you can't outrun a bullet? Or a barrage of bullets? Is it maybe because automatic and/or semi-automatic assault rifles  make it possible to kill large numbers of people in a short amount of time, even if those people are trying desperately to flee?



Oh, and also -- You're an idiot.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

This Man could be Vice-President

I mean, he won't be.
But he could.
It is actually possible.


http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/articles/news_and_politics/the_big_idea/2011/12/111207_BI_NewtLaugh.jpg.CROP.article568-large.jpg

“NEWT GINGRICH: Let me go a step further, because remember, San Bernardino, Fort Hood, and Orlando involve American citizens. We’re going to ultimately declare a war on Islamic supremacists and we’re going to say, if you pledge allegiance to ISIS, you are a traitor and you have lost your citizenship. And we’re going take much tougher positions. In the late 1930s, President Franklin Roosevelt was faced with Nazi penetration in the United States. We originally created the House Un-American Activities Committee to go after Nazis. We passed several laws in 1938 and 1939 to go after Nazis and we made it illegal to help the Nazis. We’re going to presently have to go take the similar steps here.”

Yes, Newt Gingrich thinks the House UnAmerican Activities Committee should be resurrected.  One of the most shameful chapters in our nation's history, Joe McCarthy's institutional witch hunt, is something that the man who was recently Speaker of the God Damn House of Representatives of the United States of America thinks of as some sort of positive.

have you no shame, Newt? At long last, have you no shame?

Ha! Just kidding. Of course you don't!