Wednesday, June 30, 2010

New Rules For Confirmation Hearings

Rule # 1: If you are incapable of pronouncing the word "accurate," you are not allowed to question a Supreme Court nominee.



Rule # 2: If you use your allotted time to ask a Jewish woman where she celebrated Christmas, you are no longer to be allotted any time at any future hearing.

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Rule # 3: If you use any portion of your allotted time to ask the nominee about "Twilight," you are no longer permitted to speak in public on any subject, and must resign in disgrace.

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Congratulations, US Workers!

From Bloomberg News:

Jobless Produce U.S. Profit on Productivity

With Less Inflation



The 6.8 million Americans out of work for 27 weeks or longer -- a record 46 percent of all the unemployed -- are providing U.S. companies with an eager, skilled and cheap labor pool. This is allowing businesses to retool their workforces, boosting efficiency and profits following the deepest recession since the 1930s, and contributing to a 61 percent rise in the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index since March 2009.


So, quit whining about not being able to find work. You're helping to increase corporate stock prices! And isn't that really what matters?



“Companies are getting higher-productivity employees for the same or lower wage rate they were paying a marginal employee,” said James Paulsen, who helps oversee about $375 billion as chief investment strategist at Wells Capital Management in Minneapolis. “Not only are employees higher skilled, you have a better skill match. You have a more productive and more adaptive labor force.


Translation: "more productive" = doing more work for the same pay.
"more adaptive" = these people are so afraid of losing their jobs, they'll figure out
a way to deal with whatever shit you throw at them!

No more coal for you, Cratchit! And you shall labor on Christmas Day and like it!
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U.S. productivity gains averaged 2.9 percent from 2000 through the first quarter of 2010, compared with 2.1 percent in 1990-1999 and 1.5 percent in 1980-1989, according to the Labor Department. The increased efficiency has helped improve earnings, with more than 80 percent of companies in the S&P 500 index reporting profits that exceeded the consensus analysts’ estimates during the most recent quarter, Bloomberg data show.


So the bad news is you're working harder than ever, but the good news is, your company's profits are way up!


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“Very specific skill sets is what will get people hired these days,” said Gary Townsend, president of Hill-Townsend Capital LLC in Chevy Chase, Maryland, a hedge fund that specializes in financial firms. “Companies are able to slice off the weakest members of the team and find very highly qualified and motivated [read: desperate] replacements. There is very little wage pressure.”
So, cheer up, American workers! Because higher stock prices means the economy is better! Whether you have a decent job or not is not really relevant.

P.S. Here's one more line from the Bloomberg article, lest we forget:
The U.S. economy grew at a 2.7 percent annual rate in the first quarter, less than the 3 percent estimate issued last month, according to Commerce Department data released June 25. The economy contracted in five quarters during the recession that began in December 2007, the worst performance since the Great Depression.



So no, FOXies, history didn't begin in January 2009.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I Apologize to Texas

Sorry, Texas.

I shouldn't have said that you make the rest of us look sane by comparison. At least not before getting a gander at the Idaho GOP platform.




Take for instance, Resolution 2010-02:
Whereas the county sheriff is the chief law enforcement office of the county; therefore Resolved, assert the Tenth Amendment and put the US Government and Idaho State on notice, that all police Actions be under and approved by the sheriff - including - but not limited to FBI, ATF, state Highway Patrol, and USFS. . . .

That's right, FBI, ATF, etc. you will all respect the authoritah of the County Sheriff!

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Thet's right, boy, I'm in charge of this here investigation! Step aside, Agent Cooper!



Although I must say I'm not sure why Idaho State has to be put on notice.
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Or there's the section entitled Sound Currency:

We recognized the failure of the Federal Reserved [sic] System to maintain a sound US dollar and the danger of merchantile [sic] controlling the issuance of our currency. We believe the Federal Reserve Bank should be abolished. . . and encourage citizens to engage in a systematic acquisition of precious metals which represent real value as opposed to paper currencies.

Let free Idahoans pay taxes, and other fees due to the State, County and City in silver and or gold in any form. Payments to City, County, or State employees requested to be paid in silver and or gold, Will be complied with.

Oh, that's going to be fun. Let's see, I owe you $1200 dollars, I believe this bag of gold nuggets will cover that. Gold! Gold, I tells ya, Gooooold!
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This party platform brought to you by Goldline International!
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We. . . affirm the right of voters to vote for the candidate of their choice.


Okay, that sounds great. Very nice. Probably unnecessary, but still. Very nice. But wait. what was that in the previous paragraph?

We support to restore the constitution's checks and balances and to protect the rights and sovereignty of the states by repealing the 17th Amendment.
[atrocious syntax in original]


What the hell? You don't want people to be able to vote for their Senators? I thought you were big on voters and democracy and all that good stuff. Why would anyone want to repeal the 17th Amendment?

So, anyway, they go on about the State of Idaho should nullify any Federal Laws that they don't like, and how jurors should be able to interpret the law as they see fit, not as some fancy-pants judge tells them to, cause what does he know, he just went to Law School and spent his adult life in the courtroom. I figger I know just as good as him!

And they resolve that the Iowa legislature should pass a "Health Care Nullification Act," because they got it into their heads that they only have to follow laws that they like.

So, Texas. I apologize. Maybe you're not any crazier than anyone else. And besides, you did give us Molly Ivins, Willie Nelson, and King of the Hill.

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Monday, June 28, 2010

Texas is still crazy!

Texas has problems, just like any other state. There's crime, there's pollution, and having a section of your state lie along the Gulf Coast right about now has got to be somewhat worrisome. But when the Texas GOP released its platform, they zeroed in on the real problems facing their state. Making sure that no one gets a blowjob or sees a naked lady.

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Here are a few excerpts: (The entire document can be found here)

Pornography – We urge our governmental bodies to enforce laws regarding all forms of pornography. We urge more stringent legislation to prohibit all pornography including virtual pornography and operation of sexually–oriented businesses.
But where will the RNC hold their fundraisers?
We oppose the legalization of sodomy. We demand that Congress exercise its authority granted by the U.S. Constitution to withhold jurisdiction from the federal courts from cases involving sodomy.


Maybe someone who is a little more versed on the subject can enlighten me here, but I don't believe that Congress has such authority.

(and yes, sodomy does include oral sex, even between married couples. We ain't havin' none of that in Texas!)

Further, we urge Congress to withhold Supreme Court jurisdiction in cases involving abortion, religious freedom, and the Bill of Rights.


Again, I'm pretty sure that they can't do that. Otherwise, couldn't they just pass unconstitutional laws and forbid the courts to review them?

Our policy [on Israel] is based on God’s biblical promise to bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse Israel and we further invite other nations and organizations to enjoy the benefits of that promise.


And that's just a sound basis for a foreign policy. Also, individual states don't really have a foreign policy, but what the hell, you've already gone this far off the deep end!

We oppose a one-world government in direct opposition to our basic principles and eroding our sovereignty. We oppose the implementation of one world currency.


Also, we oppose allowing Earth to join the Federation of Planets.

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Principles
We Believe in:
1. Strict adherence to the Declaration of Independence and U.S. and Texas Constitutions


Okay, the Declaration is not a legal document, it was an exercise in public relations, but if you want to adhere to it, you might want to know that for a lot of people the "pursuit of happiness" includes occasional sodomy.

3. Limiting the expanse of Government Power.


We want to limit Government Power. Also, the government should have the power to decide what couples may or may not do in bed. And the power to shut down strip clubs and ban X-rated movies.

Constitution in Public Schools – We believe that all state-funded schools should read and teach the constitutions of the
United States of America and the State of Texas.


That's going to be a little hard to do without mentioning Thomas Jefferson!

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Conscience Clause – We believe that doctors, nurses, pharmacists, any employees of hospitals and insurance companies, health care organizations, medical and scientific research students, and any employee should be protected by Texas law if they conscientiously object to participate in practices that conflict with their moral or religious beliefs,
including but not limited to abortion, the prescription for and dispensing of drugs with abortifacient potential, human cloning, embryonic stem cell research, eugenic screenings. .
.

Let's set aside for the moment that human cloning and eugenics screenings are not really in the realm of the um, things that might happen. If you're going to let people do only the parts of their jobs which they don't find objectionable, does that mean a Muslim deli clerk can refuse to handle pork products. "sorry, folks, chicken and beef only until Jim-Bob gets back from his smoke break!"
Could a Boeing employee decide that he only wants to work on civilian aircraft because he finds warfare offensive to his pacifist beliefs?

Companion Animal Welfare – We support legislation to license and regulate large-scale commercial dog and cat breeding
facilities to ensure the humane handling and care of dogs and cats in those facilities.


Okay, who the fuck snuck that one in there? Was it you, Berkeley Jim?
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Ethics in Broadcasting – We call upon the Federal Communications Commission to revoke broadcast licenses of stations
that air programs and advertisements in violation of existing laws and FCC guidelines. We further oppose reinstatement of
the Fairness Doctrine and any similar concept, which would limit outlets for free speech.


We are also strongly opposed to having any sense of irony, apparently.

Oh, Texas! We can always count on you to make everyone else seem sane by comparison.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Thomas Sowell thinks that the, um. . . HITLER!!!

He's at it again!

Hmmm, look how pensive I can Be. You know, I think. . . HITLER!!! Stalin!!!

Is U.S. Now On Slippery Slope To Tyranny?

By THOMAS SOWELL


Well, I guess the short answer would be "no." The long answer would be "hell no, what are you, fucking insane?"

When Adolf Hitler was building up the Nazi movement in the 1920s. . . .

Stop! Okay, just stop there. There's no good way out of this. You can't begin with a Hitler analogy and end up anywhere other than crazyville. Cut your losses and stop now!

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When Adolf Hitler was building up the Nazi movement in the 1920s, leading up to his taking power in the 1930s, he deliberately sought to activate people who did not normally pay much attention to politics.


So anyone who seeks to get people interested in politics is, um, wait. . .I know this one, Hitler? No, wait Stalin! No, Hitler. Final answer.

Rock the Vote: Hitler. League of Women Voters: Hitler. Got it!


"Useful idiots" was the term supposedly coined by V.I. Lenin to describe similarly unthinking supporters of his dictatorship in the Soviet Union.


Ooh, the daily double! I'll take Pol Pot for the win!



In our times, American democracy is being dismantled, piece by piece, before our very eyes by the current administration in Washington, and few people seem to be concerned about it.


Yes, why aren't more people concerned with imaginary, made-up threats to the nation? I for one am losing a lot of sleep over the army of Yetis amassing at the Canadian border, but no one else seems too concerned.

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The president's poll numbers are going down because increasing numbers of people disagree with particular policies of his, but the damage being done to the fundamental structure of this nation goes far beyond particular counterproductive policies.


Really? Fundamental damage? Like when President Obama decided that he could wiretap Americans without a warrant, make habeus corpus optional and expose an undercover CIA agent out of spite. . .Oh, wait! That wasn't him. That was the last guy, so those changes are not bad in any significant way. It's a good thing ya done that, George, a real good thing!

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Just where in the Constitution of the United States does it say that a president has the authority to extract vast sums of money from a private enterprise and distribute it as he sees fit to whomever he deems worthy of compensation?


The same place it says that a citizen can be declared an "enemy combatant" and held indefinitely without charges?


And yet that is precisely what is happening with a $20 billion fund to be provided by BP to compensate people harmed by their oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Sure, if by "precisely" you mean "not really."

But our government is supposed to be "a government of laws and not of men."

If our laws and our institutions determine that BP ought to pay $20 billion — or $50 billion or $100 billion — then so be it.

But the Constitution says that private property is not to be confiscated by the government without "due process of law."


Of course, nothing was "confiscated," but I'm going to go ahead and just assume that that won't be a relevant distinction.

Technically, it has not been confiscated by Barack Obama, but that is a distinction without a difference.

No it isn't! You can't just say "oh, well there's no difference," as if saying makes it so! You can't complain about property being confiscated and then say that the fact that it has not been confiscated is not relevant.

Hello, police? I'd like to report my car stolen. Well, technically, I traded it in on a newer model, but that hardly seems germane to the matter at hand!