Quote of the Summit So Far

Rick Santorum bemoaning the fact that their message doesn't appeal to "smart people."

(You don't say!)

Santorum: 'We Will Never Have the Elite, Smart People on Our Side'




You'd think that if you realize that no smart people agree with you, that maybe that indicates that you're wrong, but no. No, Rick will never realize that.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's time once again for the Value Voters' Summit!

The occasion when all of the nation's most horrible wingnuts gather together to, um, do whatever it is that they do, I don't know, other than providing fodder for smart-alecky bloggers. And there's always a chance, with them all gathered in one place, that they will all be summoned up to the mother ship, or Raptured, or something.

 

Anyway, so the first bit of information I've seen coming out of the Summit concerns an organization called "Modesty Matters," who have decided that with all the various ills troubling society at this moment, they are going to focus on the scourge of cleavage.

They have been handing out literature at the Value Voters Summit stressing the importance of non-revealing clothing.

According to MoJo, Modesty Matters is 

A "back porch thing" run by Woolwine and his wife, Modesty Matters is a somewhat quixotic effort to "move the media back to modesty," which Woolwine believes could be a compelling nonpolitical issue that people on all sides could agree on.

Folks on different sides of the political divide may not agree on much, but they can all join together to condemn shameless hussies!

Woolwine is also distributing a "Resolution for Women," which asks women to make a number of pledges, including "I will champion God’s model for womanhood in the face of a post-feminist culture."

God's model for womanhood, hm? Interesting. Because the one He made was stark bare-assed naked. 

  

And it's only going to get better. Just look at some of these scheduled speakers:

 Rep. Michele Bachmann
U.S. House (R-Minn) Speaking to the 1% of the population who believe that Michele Bachmann is fit to hold public office

Gen. William Boykin
(U.S. Army-Ret.), Former Commander, Delta Force. The man who thinks he's fighting for God's army against the army of Allah, and so far it's taken God about 10 years and He still hasn't won, so maybe just shut up about the whole clash of the gods thing, General?

Gov. Jan Brewer, the person Arizona uses to make Joe Arpaio seem reasonable.

 

Frank Gaffney
President, American Center for Security Policy and current record-holder for "Person most scared of Muslims"

 

Gov. Mike Huckabee
TV Host. Along with a picture of Mike Huckabee from 10 years and 50 lbs ago.

Majority Leader Eric Cantor
U.S. House (R-VA) The reigning "pretending these people don't hate Jews" champion.

 

Lila Rose
President, Live Action. Winner 2012's "organization whose name sounds most like an internet porn site" and "Value Voters Summit participant whose name sounds most like a porn star.

Tom McClusky
Senior Vice-President, FRC Action and professional George Costanza impersonator. 

 

Steven Crowder
Fox News contributor, writer, & comedian. Isn't that redundant?

Genevieve Wood
Vice President, Marketing, The Heritage Foundation. Why would a non-profit need a VP of marketing? Also, runner-up Value Voters Summit participant whose name sounds most like a porn star.

 

Dr. Rick Scarborough
Founder, Vision America. Recently named Right Wing America's Second-favorite Scarborough.

 

Melissa Ohden
Saline Abortion Survivor. Really? Is that even a thing? That's not just some cruel joke? Okay.

Gov. Bob McDonnell
(R-VA) Accompanied by the Transvaginal Ultra-Sounds!

If there's not a band with that name yet, there should be.

 

Star Parker
Author and President of CURE. And a black lady! Neat!

Kirk Cameron
Actor and Producer. And banana enthusiast. Seriously, ask him about bananas!

BTW, almost everything he says about the banana is also true about the human penis. Food for thought, Kirk!

There is no Low to which They Will not Sink

So the Romney Campaign saw the news from Libya and thought "hey, a man was murdered, what a great chance to score a cheap political point."
And most people were understandably disgusted.

But not FOX!




And not despicable Congressman and Senatorial candidate Todd "legitimate rape" Akin:

"First of all, apologizing to all people, [to] a lot of countries who are enemies, and apologizing to them and everything," Akin said during a campaign stop in Kansas City, according to KMBC. "You know, if we did something wrong that's one thing, but he's just apologizing because he didn't like America? I think that's the wrong thing to do."

Is it even worth mentioning that Barack Obama never apologized for the US?

Etc, etc, etc. . .

     – LIZ CHENEY: “Apologizing for America, appeasing our enemies, abandoning our allies and slashing our military are the hallmarks of Mr. Obama’s foreign policy.” [Romney Press Release, 9/12/2012]

    – SEN. JOHN MCCAIN (R-AZ): “The United States is weak and withdrawing and that’s why you’re seeing a lot of leaders reacting.” [Today Show, 9/13/2012]

    — SEN. JIM INHOFE (R-OK): “What foreign policy? The policy of appeasement. Yes, it’s happening as a result of that.” [The Hill, 9/13/2012]

Of course, not to be outdone in the field of despicability, Sarah Palin had to chime in:

Apparently President Obama can’t see Egypt and Libya from his house.

Um, yeah, I should hope not. No one in the US could possibly. . . you know that "from my house" line is a shot at you, right?

The Islamic radicals claim that these attacks are in protest to some film criticizing Islam. In response to this, the U.S. embassy in Cairo issued a statement that was so outrageous many of us thought it must be a satire. The embassy actually apologized to the violent mob attacking us,

No. No they didn't. That is a lie.

But where is the president’s statement about this? These countries represent his much touted “Arab Spring.” How’s that Arab Spring working out for us now?

Wow, where to begin? First, the "Arab Spring" is not "his." The Arab Spring belongs to the Arabs. It seems to have arisen organically from the grass roots, you know, like the Tea Party pretends to have done.

And I don't remember you having any objections when G W Bush claimed that his invasion of Iraq would spread Democracy throughout the Middle East.

And where is the President's statement? Right here: http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2012/09/12/obamas-statement-on-libya-attack/

I would think you might have seen that in the newspaper since you read, you know, all of them.

How’s that Arab Spring working out for us now? Have we received an apology yet from our “friends” in the Muslim Brotherhood for the assault on our embassy?

Okay, none of these Libyans is in the Muslim Brotherhood, probably, but the Muslim Brotherhood did at least extend condolences.

 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/14/opinion/our-condolences-the-muslim-brotherhood-says.html

It’s about time our president stood up for America and condemned these Islamic extremists.

Yes, if only he had said something like "I strongly condemn the outrageous attack on our diplomatic facility in Benghazi, which took the lives of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens."

Hmm, wait. . . what was the headline of the article where I found that quote? What was it again. . . . oh yeah!



US ambassador killed in Libya: 
President Barack Obama's statement in full

I realize there must be a lot on his mind these days – what with our economy’s abysmal jobless numbers and Moody’s new warning about yet another downgrade to our nation’s credit rating due to the current administration’s failure to come up with a credible deficit reduction plan.

Okay, that's another lie. Moody's doesn't give a shit about deficit reduction. They are concerned with the Republican leadership's eagerness to hold the debt ceiling hostage once again.

These people really just have no qualms about telling the most baldfaced lies.

 And, of course, he has a busy schedule – with all those rounds of golf, softball interviews with the “Pimp with the Limp,” and fundraising dinners with his corporate cronies.

Okay, I didn't know what the pimp-with-a-limp reference was either. Apparently, he's a Florida DJ with whom Barack Obama did a 10-minute phone interview. Really, Mr. President, you're better than that. You should not be participating in the glorification of the term "pimp." A pimp is the absolute lowest form of life, a man who makes his living off of the misery and exploitation of others. It is absolutely disgusting that the word "pimp" is ever used in a positive way, as a slang term for "stud" or whatever. You should not have gone on that program. But at least it's better than FOX.
Also, since when do socialists have corporate cronies? Pick one slanderous mischaracterization and stick with it, please.


Also, how dare a president play golf?

America can’t afford any more “leading from behind” in such a dangerous world. We already know that President Obama likes to “speak softly” to our enemies. If he doesn’t have a “big stick” to carry, maybe it’s time for him to grow one.

- Sarah Palin

Really? A dick joke? Wow.


And Rick Santorum piled on:

What Mitt Romney said is absolutely true. Now President Obama and the State Department did not stand up for the values of this country, showed weakness again, showed that we are going to cower to these radical Islamic terrorists

And lunatic John Bolton:

Former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton tells Right Turn:”The perception of American weakness that provided the foundation for these attacks is largely because of Obama administration mistakes and lack of resolve

I'm not sure what "weakness" these assholes refer to. Is it maybe the weakness of taking out bin Laden, or the weakness of overthrowing Quadaffi? Or maybe the weakness of having drones rain down fiery death on anyone who looks like they might be a little "al Queda-ey?"

There really is no low to which these righties will not sink.

Meet The Newest Additions to Team Chaos

 

Sunday afternoon, two kittens dropped by and decided to take up residence on our back deck. They had no collars, so we thought they might be strays and we gave them food and water and played with them. Soon, they had proven their mettle and we invited them to become permanent members of Team Chaos. Naturally, they accepted eagerly.

Well, as it turns out, they already had humans, the couple who just moved in across the street.

IMG_20120909_182701.jpg, a photo by spudboy67 on Flickr.

But they still wanted to be part-time Team Chaos members.

This is Guiseppe. We did not give him that name, he came with it. We'll have to come up with a really cool code name for him.

The Tabby is Zizou, named for French soccer star Zinedine Zidane. He probably doesn't need a code name, 'cuz that's already pretty cool.

Zizou is definitely the Alpha brother.

And the more active.

Whereas Guiseppe is more apt to sit still long enough to have his photo taken.
This may prove to be a liability if he is sent deep undercover. We'll work on it.

Zizou is never still for long, he's always exploring his surroundings, looking for something to chase. He should become a skilled assassin.

They may look harmless, but I assure you, they are preparing to spread Chaos throughout Northwest Atlanta.

Ay, Oh, Way to Go, Ohio!

What, were you sick of Florida and Arizona getting all the credit for right-wing insanity?

15 Percent of Ohio GOPers Say Romney Deserves Credit for Bin Laden Raid

—By Nick Baumann
| Sun Sep. 9, 2012 8:52 PM PD

Now, I have no idea why Public Policy Polling would ask such a weird question, but they asked Ohioans Who was more responsible for the death of Osama bin Laden, President Obama or Mitt Romney? I could understand if they asked Obama or Bush, since a lot of conservative pundits have been trying to make the case that George W. Bush's "who cares about bin Laden" policy somehow laid the groundwork for the "fuck it, let's just shoot the SOB" Navy SEALS operation, but Romney? Even Romney hasn't had the balls to try to take credit for that one. The Auto bailout? Sure, he'll take a lot of credit for the success of the policy that he opposed, but shooting bin Laden in his fucking ass-face?

But for some wacky reason, maybe comic relief?, they did ask that question, and apparently, 15% of Ohioans who describe themselves as "Very Conservative" answered "Mitt." Really. You can see the whole poll here: http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_OH_9912.pdf

And you might think maybe those 15% were just being smart-alecs or whatever, but 51% of "Very Conservative" and 53% of "somewhat conservative" respondents answered "not sure." Apparently, half of the conservatives on Ohio are at least in touch with reality enough to realize that Romney had nothing to do with the death of bin Laden, but just can't bring themselves to admit that maybe President Obama might just deserve even the tiniest bit of credit. Even if he only deserves say, 0.00001% of the credit, that would be more than Mittens' 0.0%, so to say that you're not sure would seem to imply that you can't even bring yourself to give even the most marginal amount of credit to the Prez.

So what else do Ohio conservatives believe Mitt Romney deserves credit for?

 

I think it's a crime that Mitt Romney wasn't named MVP of last year's Superbowl!

 Mitt Romney is too humble to accept the credit for this hat design.

How Shakespeare in Love beat out Mitt Romney for Best Picture in 1998 I'll never know!

It makes me want to cry, thinking of how Mitt Romney has never been awarded

 a single purple heart!

 

Yee Haw! Mitt Romney taught Hank Williams, Jr how to sing!

And how to spout paranoid, racist claptrap! Yee Haw!

 I'm Fairly sure Mitt Romney built this hideous elephant atrocity.

 

I'm going to Heaven because Mitt Romney sent his only son to Earth to die for our sins.