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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Jokes For the Woefully Unimaginative

A vampire walks into a bar.
The bartender thinks to himself, "wait a minute, there's no such things as vampires!"
Then he realizes that it's just some guy in a vampire costume.

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Mike Who?
Mike Johnson, from across the street.
Oh, hey, come on in, Mike!

A lady opens her refrigerator and is surprised to see a chicken sitting inside.
"What are you doing in my refrigerator?" asks the lady.
The chicken says nothing.
The lady cooks it and eats it.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
They each order a beer.
The bartender asks "who's paying?"
"This one's on me," says the priest.

And then the rabbi says "I'll get the next round!"

Q: If there are three women in a room, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, how can you tell which is the blonde?

A: By her hair color.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says "a beer? I figured you'd order the drink that's named after you!"
"No," says the grasshopper, "I prefer the taste of beer."

A man comes home from work to find his wife in bed with his best friend.
"Dammit, Linda!" he says, "I'm filing for a divorce!" you! I'll be here all week!


jadedj said...

Slow day?

jackie said...

hobby any one?...
thanks for coming by and saying howdy..i think if you go to letterman's website you can see the band playing on the rocked and letterman was blown away..

Professor Chaos said...

Yes. Quite slow.

jadedj said...

Just wondering.

Did you hear the one about the chicken that stopped in the middle of the road?

Professor Chaos said...

no. Do tell.

jadedj said...

she had a bunion (remember those?) and her foot hurt so she stopped.

jadedj said...